Legacy

There are all kinds of legacies. There are bad legacies, good legacies and lasting legacies. When we walk through life, blindly unaware of the impact we have on others as we strive for happiness and fulfillment, we are centering on self and leaving a legacy of Narcissism. There are “heroes” who have left a legacy of generosity, genius, compassion and all sorts of good things who did so in a spiritual void. Jesus was not a part of their journey. They were just good people. They left a good legacy.

I want to leave a lasting legacy of eternal significance. The kind of legacy that makes “me” invisible so that others see only the reflection of Christ. That’s a tall order and I know that it is a destination I cannot reach, no matter how hard I paddle. I must instead trim my sails to catch the breath of God speaking to my heart and surrender to the gentle breeze or gusting wind He will send to get me back on the proper course.

If we are to impress upon others the beautiful urgency and exciting adventure of following God, we must realize that we have been set free from the need to follow our own path and have been liberated to walk unashamedly, in complete surrender, with Jesus on a glorious journey toward the purpose He created for us.  Some days I fail. You will, too. But each day is a new opportunity to allow God to chart your course toward the legacy upon which He has already inscribed your name.

“For we are God’s masterpiece.

He created us anew in Christ Jesus

 so that we can do the good things

He planned for us long ago.”

Ephesians 2:10 (nlt)

Back To School

Our church is full of ministers who daily share the love of Jesus in the workplace. We have those in the medical field that save lives and restore health, those in management positions who exhibit integrity in a world where values are often pushed aside; those who extend the hand of kindness and generosity to their fellow workers, who can listen to a client and offer words of encouragement, who dedicate themselves to being the hands and feet of Jesus in the community.

So, you may ask yourself… why is it that every year at this time we make such a big to do about those who work in our school systems? My simple answer to that they are the ones who have the potential to alter the lives of many children by being followers of God who are daily transmitting His love and His light in a society that no longer allows us to openly share His story.

The prayer we say over them is not because they are great, but because they must become great in the eyes and hearts of children if they are to be God’s witness of love and light as they lead. They are not valued more highly than anyone else in this place, but we give them a token to act as a constant reminder that they are God’s Ambassador to the most tender of hearts, the most impressive minds and the most vulnerable lives among us.

Lord, keep our teachers as clay in your hands, shaping them into the leaders you created them to be. Make them a vessel of your love, spilling out to children who so desperately need to be loved and valued. Work through them, in spite of the foolishness of a law that forbids mention of You in the classroom and remind them that their primary task is to be a reflection of the One who knows them best and loves them most."

Things You Won't Overhear In A Coffee Shop

Sometimes we accidentally overhear things that we wish we hadn't about a husband or wife's attitude toward their spouse. Often the words are dripping with pain and a spirit of vengefulness. However, here are some things you are not likely to overhear...

·         “I hope my son grows up and marries someone who can turn a cold shoulder toward him as well as I do to his father.”

·         “I hope my daughter grows up and marries someone  who is as inconsiderate of her feelings as I am of her mother’s feelings.”

·         “I hope our kids find bitterness and anxiety in marriage. It works well for us.”

If we want the best for our kids, we have to model it. Jesus came from heaven to do that for us, so it can’t be that difficult to leave our self-centeredness to model unselfishness for our kids, right?

Actually, it is difficult. Somewhere in the center of the Garden of Eden our DNA changed from a willingness to submit and follow the lead of our Creator to a willfulness that drives us to look for ways to disregard the standard set by him and find our own way. Whenever we are centered on finding what pleases self, we know we – just like Adam and Eve - are headed directly into the path of pain and separation from the One who loves us best. Why not try making your attitude reflect the attitude of Christ, who…even though he was God in the flesh…

“did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself NOTHING, taking the very nature of a servant… he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even the cross!”   from Philippians 2:5-8 (NIV)

God isn’t asking you to be nailed to a cross for your spouse. He is simply asking you to love with a love that puts their needs ahead of yours. He implores you to ask the question, “How can I help?” To risk knowing exactly what they need from you to keep their emotional tank full so they can better submit and love selflessly. That's what I want for my kids! How about you?

Creator, open our hearts to see the joy in following Your example and serving one another in love. Help us to learn to love as you have loved us; to be full of mercy and grace; to be willing to honor one another above ourselves."

Dress for Success... In Marriage

     The best way to put a marriage relationship to death is to see it as a means to fulfill your desires. Marriage isn’t about “me.” Marriage is about “us.”  The only way to make an “us” is to realize that our “earthly nature” desires to be right, surrendering to the desire to be vindicated when we have been hurt or wronged. That mentality boils down to putting self ahead of all, which is idolatry, and focusing on how we can get our perceived needs met above all else (Colossians 3:5). This is the way Satan wants our marriages to be, because relational sickness and death brings anguish to the One who loves us so much that He gave it all so we could be transformed and our relationships could be as He desired from the beginning.

     Paul asks us to strip ourselves of that behavior and thought pattern and instead “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you and over all these virtues put on LOVE, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14)

    So, what is the outcome of changes from the old way of thinking to the new? A love that leads to a longing to submit to one another, a compassion that teaches and guides children with patience and gentleness, and heaps of God’s grace that helps us to become someone that we never dreamed we could be. That grace also picks us up and dusts us off and bids us to try again each time we fall short of God’s standard. Never give up! Your family is worth your effort!

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged... 

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, 

as working for the Lord, not for men,

 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

 It is the Lord, Christ you are serving."  

Colossians 3:18-21, 23

  God, don’t let us settle for the standard of living, designed to better fit our reality, leaving us trapped in messy and unfulfilled relationships, but open our eyes to see what we could have if we follow Your design for our marriages which brings peace, joy, and an outpouring of Your grace. Remind us that in all our relationships you are there receiving whatever we dish out. Amen!

The Bridge to God

Ok, mom and dad, have you ever thought of yourself as a bridge? That is exactly what you are as you are the means to transport your kids from childhood to adulthood; from immaturity to maturity; from irresponsible to responsible… well, you get it!

The most important journey they will ever travel on the bridge of life is their spiritual journey. Are you equipped to be the bridge to take them to a fuller understanding of the magnitude of God’s mercy and grace? 

 Like any good bridge, the strength and stability comes from the materials and the engineering.  So, take a look inside. What are you made of…religious fluff or a real relationship with Jesus Christ? I hope your kids don’t have to cross Lake Michigan on a puff of cool whip! How are you put together? Have you grown in your faith enough to allow God to engineer you to His specs… or do you just try to get by with the least amount of change? What is supporting your belief system? Some tradition you have held on to or the actual truth found in the Word of God. 

"Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts.

 Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. 

Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; 

talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.

 Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; 

 inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (The Message)

”Lord, make us strong and true so that we can provide the 

means for our children to cross into a 

mature and lasting relationship with you.”

Totally Loving God

How do you follow the Great Commandment to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind?” As I pondered that question I was taken back to young love... not just my own, but the dozens of "love birds" I have witnessed through the years. I'm not sure that is love at all, because it is based primarily on feelings and worse... our own feelings! But, none the less... it was my first thoughts on love as a young gal. Maybe there is something in that first encounter that can steer us toward a better understanding of totally loving God....

Remember when your heart was first smitten and your heart beat was aligned with… him? All your plans revolved around him and you wouldn’t even think of making plans with anyone else on your traditional Friday night date night! Why, because you loved him with all your heart! 

Maybe there were some compromises in your values or some relationships that got pushed aside because he was all that really mattered to you. You would do anything to make your time together unforgettable so that he would know that he was the most important person in your life. All because you loved him with all your heart and soul.

He was on your mind all the time… even when you should have been focused on other responsibilities. You couldn’t think of anything else but him and all your thoughts were about the bright future ahead of you… with him. Why? You loved him with all your heart, soul and mind!

He… may be an ancient memory and life has moved you on. But, you remember all those feelings. So, what if you loved God like that? 

• Your plans would all revolve around making sure there would be time for HIM
• Your choices would all be based on wanting HIM to know that HE was your one and only
• Your every thought would revolve around HIM and the plan HE created had for your life.

Wow… that’s something to think about!

That first love... for me... became my only love. On Monday, it will be 41 years since he first help my hand at Lakeside Park and I knew we would be a forever "we."  Not because I was mature, wise or ready for a commitment of any kind, but because it "felt" right. After 3 years of dating and 38 years of marriage I have learned much about a committed relationship and that love is much more than a feeling... because feelings change, but a commitment is just that... a commitment to make time for each other, honor each other and include each other in all areas of our lives. 

Maybe the beginning of knowing how to love God well is learning to love each other unselfishly. Or maybe loving God well is what makes us better able to love each other completely. Either way... learning to love well makes us better and the world around us so much better! Let's do it!

"Lord, help us to understand what it means to love you and help us to submit to the transformation that needs to take place in our hearts, so that our love is truly selfless."

"Love the Lord your God 

with all your heart, 

with all your soul 

and with all your mind

. ...  and the second command is like it

... Love your neighbor as yourself..." 

Matthew 22:37-39

I 

Inside or Outside Transformation?

We are truly a people who invest greatly in outward appearance. According to stats reported by World Watch Institute, the amount of money still needed to provide water and sanitation for all people in developing nations is $9 billion. The amount spent annually in the U.S. on cosmetics is $8 billion. 

I made a vow some years ago that I would never spend more time in a day on my outward appearance than I would spend on time with Jesus - praying, listening, meditating, reading. I’m sure that there have been many bad hair days when I broke that vow, but I’m still committed to being more beautiful inside than outside.

The question is… how do we teach and encourage our children to care more about becoming a new creature on the inside when the world is constantly focused on outward appearance. The answer is simple… MODEL IT.  I’m not saying throw out your mascara, but I am saying that they need to see you as a transformed individual who walks with their God, allowing Him to shape you into who He created you to be and giving Him the credit for that transformation.

 “Lord, make us new so that our kids can see the transformation taking place as we submit to His will and are slowly but surely being transformed into His image.”

"I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can't you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do  ...  it is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!"                                                                                                                Galatians 6:14-15 (tm) 

A "Do Good" Marriage

What would your life feel like if your focus at home was to “do good?” What would your marriage feel like if your desire was to do good to one another? I’m guessing it is a rare occasion when our ambition is to “do bad” but when we get swept away in the busyness of life sometimes we find ourselves in survival mode and our focus is not focused at all! It is not our intention to bring harm, but if we lose our focus and drive to “do good” that is the only alternative. In relationships, neutral = bad. You cannot push your partner to the back burner for very long before your relationship feels the hit.

There are so many things that can be the cause of our failure to “do good” in our marriage relationships. Most of the time, we don’t even see them creeping in, and if we do see the warnings, we don’t take the time to resolve it because we are too mad, too hurt, or too busy. Before we know it there is a giant, painful wedge between us. There is only one way out of that mess, and that is to allow God to reset your heart to love unconditionally, reset your mind to see things from a healthier perspective (and not be defensive) as He brings healing and restoration. And finally, be committed to “doing good” at home, where it matters most.

It is highly likely that your children will look for someone who treats them as the two of you treat each other. If that scares you a little, you are not alone. We are all a work in progress, but if you want to grow into something that is amazing, you have to change the way you think about marriage. Be a giver, not a taker. Be a lover, not a hater. Be completely unselfish and watch the transformation take place.

 “God, rescue us from the mindset of the world and give us back the heart you created in us – the heart to love like you. Remind us that the most important place to demonstrate Your love is in our home, the training ground for Your Ambassadors to the world.”

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, 

especially to those who belong to the family of believers."  

Galatians 6:10 

Big Picture Parenting

In order to stick with anything for the long haul, it is important to see the big picture and know where you want to be at the end of the journey. Seeing the big picture is really the foundation of good parenting. If you know you have a marathon coming, you condition for it. If you know you have an exam coming you study for it. If you know you have hearts and minds to shape for a lifetime relationship with their Creator and Redeemer, you demonstrate for them what that looks like in your daily life. That is the most important thing you will EVER do.

Seeing the big picture in godly parenting means that you are shaping hearts to be tender and submissive to God and aware of His greatness. You will constantly – without any break at all - be teaching them to be respectful, caring, kind, generous, grateful, helpful, honest and looking to God for guidance in their lives… and you will be modeling these things in your own life.

If God is your best friend, worthy of your praise, your go-to for all your needs, the One you just can’t get enough of… you WILL be transformed and as they see that transformation, they will desire it for themselves.

If you are investing in your spiritual walk at about 50… or even 70%, don’t expect them to be devoted followers. They are learning nothing of the God who desires to be in first place, but seeing God and His plan as optional, weak and unworthy of their investment. You are the leader they are following. If you are totally committed to following the Leader, you have laid a great foundation for godly parenting.

"So let's not get tired of doing what is good.

 At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." 

Galatians 6:9 (nlt)

 “God, help us to cling to You tightly and not let go so that, as the kids watch us, they will learn the joy and comfort of clinging to You throughout their lives.”  

"God Talk" With Your Kids

Here’s a tough question for most parents who consider themselves to be Christians: “How many times in a week do your kids hear or see you talking to the God you follow?” This one may be even tougher, “When is the last time you talked to your kids about what God is doing in your life or what He may be trying to do in theirs?”

Research done by the Search Institute proves my observations to be correct.  Less than 12% of teens claim to have any conversations of a spiritual nature with their kids. It gets worse… only 5% have these kids claim to have faith conversations with their dads. 

In spite of these findings, all Christian parents would desire that their kids develop a faith that will sustain them through the temptations and struggles of life. The question is, how will they learn that God is real and ever present if He is, in fact, a stranger in their home?

When it comes to boldness, there is no better place to let your faith show than in your home with your kids. I'm sure your church works really hard teaching your kids of a loving, relational God, but witnessing that love and relationship will do more than anything the very best Children's Ministry can do in the very limited time they have with them.

Here are a few tips that will help PARENTS begin to acknowledge God's presence in your home...

P - Pray out loud. Let them hear you talk to God. When you see a firetruck in route say, "God keep them safe and help whoever is involved in this emergency." When you find your keys say, "Thanks, God for helping me find my keys." When you eat or at bedtime or on the way to school, "God, help us to hear your instructions so we can be better followers."

A - Apologize to them. Everyone makes mistakes, even parents. Kids learn about repentance as they see it modeled. "I'm sorry I yelled instead of listening better." "I'm sorry I was unkind to daddy." "I'm sorry I wasn't there... didn't help... jumped to conclusion... was grumpy... I know God wants me to do better... " Plenty of opportunities arise for us to demonstrate a contrite spirit and a humble heart.

R - Recognize and Identify God's Handiwork. Be on a constant God hunt. Pay attention to where He is working and what He is doing and talk about it. "I love the way God painted the butterflies... sky... the way he created animals with their own camo... the way he made you smart like your dad or beautiful like your mom... the seasons change... the rainbow..."  Open your eyes and ears and notice Him!

E -Empower them to serve. Help them to see the needs around them everywhere, all the time. Serve in a soup kitchen as a family, visit a reputable website to learn how to help the needy around the world, help the elderly load their groceries and take care of their cart, open doors for moms who need a hand, tutor a younger child, invite the lonely to a holiday dinner, above all- model serving one another in love

N - Never stop learning. Your Bible is your connection to the heart of God. It will help you know him so you can share him with your kids. Read Bible Story books to them, rent or buy DVDs that tell Bible Stories. Put a Bible App on your phone so that you are constantly involved in a reading plan. Be regular church attenders and volunteer to teach children... preparing a lesson is a great tool for learning!

T - Thankfulness is a great way to demonstrate your trust in God. Focus on all His blessings rather than all you may feel you are lacking. Play the Thankful Game at the table and go around several times stating what you thank God for as you eat your meal. At bedtime list a dozen things you are thankful that God provided today. Refuse to fall into the "I want" trap and rebuke self pity at all times

S - Sing! Kids learn so much better when you put words to music. Invest in some kids CDs so that as you travel they can hear words of Scripture or truths they will carry with them.  If your kids are older, tune the radio to Christian broadcasting. 

 “God, make us aware of the critical need to model  what it means to walk with You in our daily lives and give us the boldness to live our faith out loud at home and everywhere we go.”

It was by faith...

At this writing I am at Fort Wayne International Airport awaiting my flight, which will end in Brisbane Australia in about 26 hours. This past week has been a whirlwind of activity trying to see everyone just one more time, one more hug, one more "I love you."  Lists were made- double and triple checked. Bags packed, unpacked, repacked. At last the time has come for the journey of a lifetime into an unknown world.
Though my flight will end in Australia and I know I will see God working in amazing ways, it will just be the beginning of the road.  I am reminded of all of the people listed in Hebrews 11 whose life was transformed from the ordinary to the extraordinary, not because of who they were or because of any special favor. It was because they had faith that God knew what he was doing, so what He said to do, they did. Throughout this process I kept wondering, "Why me? Why did God choose me?" I wonder, did Rahab ask that? Or Abraham? I think so.

That's A First!

I think the people of Queensland Australia are constantly amazed at how all the things that seem commonplace to them are extraordinary to me.  The sights, the sounds, the tastes. Each day holds something that makes me so aware of how similar we are as people, even though our environments are so different.  I am way past due updating my blog. Some internet issues and a very busy schedule have kept me away lately. Let me just say that all is well here and show you some of my extraordinary experiences...