Monitor Your Investment

In Matthew 25, Jesus tells his followers a parable about the three servants who were entrusted with a portion of their masters assets while he traveled for an extended period of time. The first two invested what they were given in such a way that it doubled by the time the master returned. The third, being afraid to fail or invest or take a risk, buried his bag of silver and returned back to his master only what he had initially been given, blaming the master for his own failure. Pointing a finger at the flawed character of the master, he justified his failure to gain a profit. The first two were rewarded for the effort they put into making money for their master, while the third was considered to be wicked and lazy and was tossed into outer darkness.

Consider for a moment, Jesus sitting across the table from you, sharing a meal and discussing the fact that "X" number of years ago he gave you a family, entrusting your spouse and your children into your care so that you could multiply His Kingdom. He depended on you to do all that you could do to honor Him and love and direct them to the One who made them for a purpose. Now, He has returned to hear how well you did with what you were given. Did your spouse grow closer to you and to Jesus because of the unconditional love your freely gave? Did your children greet Him at the door, knowing exactly who He was because you showed Him to them daily through the fruit of the Spirit working in your life? Are you anxious to show Him the neighbors that you have told all about Him or the friends who are now believers because of your families influence? What evidence would He see that your focus remained intact and you diligently worked to show your family the God you love and follow? Would you be able to show Him that you had invested hours every day to reflecting His love in your home?

Or maybe you didn't invest quite as wisely and aren't quite as eager to show Him the return on your investment. Perhaps, at the moment you and your spouse aren't even speaking to each other and the kids are safely sequestered in their rooms, or at their friends house staring intently at a screen, diligently trying to save the world from a zombie apocalypse. Maybe you haven't exactly led the charge to stop world hunger or even volunteered at the neighborhood food pantry. Possibly, you are feeling like you didn't get a fair warning of what was expected of you as a wife or a parent. You had no idea that God intended to use your union with your spouse to draw others to Him and multiply His Kingdom. Marriage is about love and meeting each other's needs and growing old together, as far as you knew. And that is way more work than you ever signed up for!

Now, before you start to panic about being tossed into the eternal darkness that the unfaithful servant earned in the parable, take a deep breath and realize that you still have time to make the investment that will bring a celebration. Step back and look at your family. What you are looking at is both your mission field and your missionaries. Now is the time to pour life into them. Not information. Not rules and regulations. I have never seen that grow into anything life-giving. What brings life is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When God lives in us and we walk with Him daily, those are the things that grow within us and leak out for our families to witness; to enjoy; to desire for themselves. That is contagious Christianity.

The transformation that takes place in you, is the best way to see transformation happen in your home. Once that begins to happen, it will reach beyond your home into your neighborhood and into missions for which your family becomes passionate. You have been given your family, not just to bless you, but to become part of a team that can reach into places you never could reach on your own. Spread the love of Jesus to your family first and wait patiently for them to grab hold of the abundant life that Jesus promises those who follow Him. You can't make the decision for them, but you certainly can be their primary influence.  Commit to investing the time to grow in your faith and tell them your story - show them God at work in you - love them with a new kind of love - be a blessing to them and to others. Before the Master returns and sits across the table from you...

Nathan's Way

King David was accustomed to having what he wanted. I suppose that is common to most kings. In 2 Samuel 12 we discover where that entitlement took him. David could have whatever he wanted, but he didn’t want to look bad in taking it, so he contrived a way to cover his tracks and have the beautiful wife of Uriah, by sending his faithful soldier to the front lines where certain death awaited him. Now David’s lust would appear to be honorable, rather than despicable, as he took in the widow mourning the loss of her husband. Somehow, in all the conniving, he completely lost sight of the horrific, selfish, greedy, heinous, deplorable action he had taken. “All’s well that ends well” was the mindset that kept him from facing his guilt.

But, God saw and knew exactly what had happened and there would be consequences for such a crime. I don’t know if it was common knowledge or if God told Nathan, His prophet, what had happened, but he was the one chosen to hold the mirror in front of King David so that he could see his blackened heart.

As I think about this story and the role that Nathan played and ponder how I can bring this story into life at home, my thoughts go to the times when a child must be confronted for their negative behavior. Often there is yelling and punishment and anger as accusations and expletives fly out of the mouth of those parents we encounter in Walmart (not you, of course). I seriously doubt that the child on the receiving end did anything as bad as King David, yet Nathan did not get angry or raise his voice as he spoke truth to David. So what can we learn about confronting the naughty child in this account?

First of all, Nathan came to David with a story. Why? Because David had closed his eyes to his sin… otherwise, how could he live with himself?  Often, when a child breaks a rule or disobeys, that slip in character is barely noticeable to them because they don’t understand why what they did was wrong. Nathan told David about a rich man who had scores of sheep, but when company came, he went to the poor man who had only one beloved sheep that was a family pet and took it to slaughter for his dinner guest. That story made it easy to see the wrong that was done. Find a way to help your child see the implications of their behavior and explain it in a manner that they can understand.

Second, as soon as David saw the crime that had been done in the story Nathan told, Nathan pointed out to him that he, David, was in fact the villain in the story because of what he had done to Uriah and Bathsheba. Nathan told him… not asked him. Often we put our children in a position to exercise self-preservation when we ask them a question that we already have the answer for. The natural inclination is to lie in order to keep from disappointing you or avoid getting punished. Don’t put them in a position to dig themselves into a deeper hole with the natural response. Tell them how their infraction was similar to the one in the story. Hold that mirror in front of them so they can see that they were wrong. The goal is to help them see, not to shame them.

Third, Nathan reminded David of how gracious God had always been to him. Remind your child that you love them and will always love them, in spite of their poor judgment. Let them know what your expectations are and what God’s Word has to say about disobedience. It is far better for an undesirable behavior to be altered because of a desire to do the right thing, rather than a fear of what happens when we do the wrong thing. If we fear punishment, we learn to hide bad decisions, but if we desire to do the right thing, we learn to do just that.

Fourth, when David confesses his sin and realizes that he deserves death, Nathan quickly tells him that God has forgiven him and his punishment will not be as harsh as what he deserves. There will however be consequences. Make sure that you give an appropriate consequence for the wrong they have done, and don’t be afraid to sprinkle it with grace. Often a child doesn’t have the maturity to weigh out the consequences or realize the gravity of the misdeed. Talk them through it calmly. Your rage is frightening and shows them that you are not in control of your emotions. King David begged God to remove the punishment for his behavior, but God did not. David needed to see that he could not use his power to take what wasn’t his to take. Your kids also need to know that their tantrum or their begging or their sweetest persuasions cannot keep them from paying the price for something they know they shouldn’t have done.

Being a parent is tough. Finding the right way to shape the heart of a child is hard work. Often if you take the time to listen to them, you can uncover the heart issue that needs correcting or further teaching. Never jump to conclusions… unless you are a prophet and God told you what really happened! Don’t start yelling and wielding punishment, because you just may have to remove your foot from your mouth and apologize to them.

There are so many stories in the Bible that can direct us if when we become a student of the Word. Take a lesson from the prophet, Nathan. Help your kids understand why a behavior is wrong. Tell them what they did that was wrong rather than asking them to tell you what they did…(providing you know with certainty). Make sure they know that their naughtiness doesn’t diminish your love or God’s love for them and give them consequences that will teach them that wrong is always wrong.

First, The Lion And The Bear

In the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 we read that David’s resume to King Saul included defeating the bear and lion. With thousands of sheep in his care, it would have been much easier to chase away the lion with a sheep in his clutches so that he didn’t kill more of the sheep… or worse. But, that was not the way David performed his job of shepherd to his father’s sheep. First, he rescued the sheep from the mouth of the lion, then he killed the lion to remove all potential harm from him in the days to come. That is what qualified him to fight the giant, Goliath.

As I consider the sermon from Sunday, that you can listen to here https://thecreekonline.net/media, and ponder how I can bring this message into our homes, my thoughts keep going to all the predators that come against our marriage and other relationships. I believe that our thoughts are the lions and bears that prowl around in our minds, attacking the flock of love that was once so strong. And we are not seeing the loss, but allowing it to keep happening until our love that once was beyond counting, now looks like a hobby farm… or worse! If we ever hope to be victorious in our relationships… or in life, we better begin to face those thoughts and come against them with the tenacity David exhibited in order to protect his father’s sheep from predators.

Hear me clearly. I am not suggesting that we make every little misspoken word into a major discussion. Nor do I feel that it is important to dissect every little misunderstanding or bring every mistake before the firing squad. What I am suggesting is that you take a look inside of you and find those lions and bears that have their claws out and teeth sharpened and are prepared for attack at the smallest infraction. That is the enemy that you must learn to subdue so that when the giant comes, you have the experience under your belt to bring down a beautiful victory.

Allow me to take the veil off of some of these lions and bears that live in our thoughts so you can see how they are putting you at risk, and show you how to defeat them…

“She is getting so lazy that I don’t even know her anymore. She used to keep the house tidy and make my favorite meals, but now the place is a wreck and we have fast food more often than not.”

            Subdue those thoughts and realize there is always a reason when things change and perhaps it isn’t laziness. Rather than stewing about the way things are, consider that there is an underlying cause for her fatigue and take an interest in making things better by helping make the house the way you want it. The words, “I know it’s been a rough week and you could use a hand so let’s tackle this together,” may just take that lamb out of the mouth of the lion.

“He spends the whole weekend in front of the TV, or working in the garage, or (fill in the blank), and never has time for me. How am I supposed to compete for his attention when he has obviously lost interest in building a life with me?”

            Tackle that predator immediately because it is one step away from a huge pity party that won’t end well. Perhaps the need for a diversion is what gives him the energy to go to work every day. I know that, if you are a mom, you don’t get a lot of down time, which can give you a bad attitude and make you resent the down time that our guys seem to be able to find more easily. Perhaps we could take a lesson from them and find ways to share in the refreshment that restores our energy. A simple acceptance of the importance of rest, or appreciation of the things they accomplish in the garage or yard is a good start. Now couple that with a non-defensive, non-attacking conversations about how thankful you are for his ability to balance work and play and that you want to learn to do that in order to be a better wife and mother. If you need help, stop expecting him to see it or read your mind and start asking for help with a gentle and kind voice. Respect his need to rest and don’t expect more of him than you do of yourself, but if you need him, tell him!

“He doesn’t even seem to notice me until the lights go off. Is that all I am here for?”

            Sexual intimacy was created to strengthen and bless the bonds of marriage, yet it often appears to be the hungry bear that kills it. If you see the desire for intimacy as the bear and attack it, you are coming against the wrong enemy. One of the most beautiful ways to grow in your relationship is to realize the blessing of being desired by your husband. Learn to receive the love that is given (in the way he knows best how to give) with grace and gratitude. Consider how you might feel if he shunned your attempt to show your love to him. You make his favorite meal/he says he isn’t hungry. You extend your arms for a hug/he walks away. You buy him a gift/he sets it aside without opening it. You plan a date/he just wants to stay home. When you learn to destroy the thoughts that his desire for you is unacceptable, and gracefully receive his gift to you, you may be surprised at how the intimacy between you begins to flourish.

If you hope to defeat the giants that will try to destroy your home, you must first look inside of you for the lions and the bears that live in your thoughts. With the power of the Most High God, come against those thoughts and destroy them for good. Be courageous and see what your marriage could be, not what it is right now. Don’t allow the struggles to bring failure into your future, but use them to strengthen you for whatever lies ahead. Remember, Satan is the enemy, not your spouse, and God has already defeated him, so don’t let him convince you otherwise. When you believe his lies, you give him power in your life. Fix your thoughts on the power of God, not the taunts of the giant. Don’t forget that he was taken down with God’s strength and one smooth stone.

Satan will come against your home just as Goliath came against the Israelites. David’s response to that…

“You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies- the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the Lord will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD’S battle and He will give you to us.”

Be bold. Be courageous. Take a stand against the evil that defies your relationships. This battle is the LORDS and your victory is waiting for you. Just pick up that stone and aim it at the evil thoughts that Satan is trying to plant in your mind to convince you that you cannot win and discover how amazing victory can be!