Sanding

I painted my kitchen cabinets this year. They looked exactly as I had pictured them. At least for a week or so. Then the paint started to peel. I had spent plenty of time online getting advice from the “experts” before removing all the doors and sanding and wiping and priming and painting so I was really disappointed when they began to look a little too shabby, even for me. I like the weathered, primitive look, but am not a fan of the “you didn’t spend enough time prepping your wood and now its peeling” kind of look.

In raising children to be exactly as we had pictured them, there is also some figurative sanding that must be done. Kids come with some pretty rough edges and those are not going to go away by giving them puppies and lollypops. Some things require sandpaper if we want them to have a lasting finish. We don’t need to intentionally “sand” them because life presents those circumstances on a regular basis. We do, however, need to stop trying to shelter by constantly pacifying them rather than allowing them to self-sooth, protecting them rather than allowing them to experience the consequences of their behavior, rescuing them rather than allowing them to become problem solvers.

As hard as I try, I find myself rescuing too often. I really want to step back and let them learn, but I easily find myself looking for solutions to problems that aren’t mine to fix. Lately, God has been doing some “sanding” away at that harmful tendency. He has been reminding me that He has a plan and He can see the finished product and that beautiful end will require some sanding in the beginning. He is showing me that my kids are on a journey and the stops along their path may be painful, but the One who created them is able to take those experiences and use them to “sand” until they become who He designed them to be.

The Apostle Paul had quite a journey. It included blindness, beatings, shipwrecks, imprisonment and hardship beyond belief. Yet he didn’t become bitter. He found contentment because he knew that all of his experiences, good and bad, were being fashioned by the Creator into something beautiful. Paul’s life story is amazing because he discovered that “IN ALL THINGS”… yes ALL… “God works for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). Maybe your kids don't really "love" Him right now, but I am certain that those things they experience on their journey away from God will be used to their good when they return, so take courage and trust Him.

Guide your children through their journey. Help them when they need it and step back when they need to do it on their own. It is a hard line to find, but keep looking. Work together. Talk about it. In most 2 parent homes, there is a difference of opinion as to when there should be assistance and when they should be left to figure it out on their own. Those differences can … and do… cause friction. But they are wonderful differences if you stop trying to be “right” and start trying to allow God to use your differences to reshape the two of you into a terrific team. Kids aren’t the only ones who need sanding, you know.

Who Are You?

I loved Sunday’s sermon. In fact, I listened to it twice and you can listen to it here http://thecreekonline.net/media.php?pageID=5. Chris talked, in his message, about what adoption meant in the culture that Paul addressed when He spoke of being adopted into God’s family. It wasn’t the way we think of adoption in our society, where we rescue a child in need. Adoption would have been more like finding the right person to meet the need and fulfill the need of leadership in the adopting family. With the adoption came freedom from the old life with its debts and baggage, but also, the expectation of becoming the person who could lead; who could be an important part in providing what was missing in that family.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 2:10, which tells us that we are a masterpiece because we have been made new by our adoption into God’s family and we are to use that advantage to fulfill the plan He made long before we were born.  So often we see our “adoption” into Christianity as being saved from our past and receiving the gift of eternity with God. But, what about the responsibility to fulfill God’s plan in our new family? Who are YOU in His family?  Are you the prodigal child that squanders their inheritance and disregards your identity to find your own way? Or are you the one who stays close to the Father, but is missing the benefit of being His? Or are you eagerly seeking the plan He has for you as His child?

I’m not talking about following a creed or a set of rules. Adoption into God’s family is free and cannot be earned with good behavior. In the preamble to the Ten Commandments, God describes Himself as the One who rescued them from bondage. As a result of that act of love, God gave them guidelines on how to live in that freedom, with Him and with others. It wasn’t about giving rules of conduct. It was a gift to help them navigate life with God and others.

I am an adoptive mama. God gave us 4 beautiful children. Two of them through the miracle of birth; two that He selected in order to make our family complete. To bear children, there was no test, however, to adopt, we were tested, interviewed, and examined, in more ways than I knew you could look at a person, in order to adopt. Then, a committee recommended us, a judge approved us, and they became our forever children. Their names were changed. They were given new birth certificates that indicated they were born to us at the address where we lived on the date of their birth. It seemed odd to me that their past was blotted out, and with their new name, came a new heritage. I was now the one responsible to direct them and plan for their success.

Who are you? You are the heritage of your children. Give them good roots. Never miss an opportunity to show your kids the benefit of walking with their Creator. Help them to see that His plan for them is unique and perfect. Show them the joy of being in His presence so they will desire that above all else. Then let them go, when the time comes. Let them question and challenge and take their inheritance on the journey that may terrify you… because you can’t hold them or force them or guilt them into following the Leader. But the Leader has the power to go with them, watch over them, speak to them, and bring them home.

Hold them in your heart and in your prayers forever. That is what your Father has done for you.

The Rose or the Soil

They came in the mail today. Graduation Announcements. More will come, but the two I received today came from two of the most amazing young people with the grandest of potential. When I look at them I know that God will do great things in their lives, should they follow the path He has created for them. All who know them expect great things from them. They are bright, caring, attractive and loved by so many. If they follow the Leader, the world will change for the better for those who are blessed enough to be on the journey with them.

Hundreds of thousands of people will move their tassels in the next few weeks. Most will not stand out like these, but without a doubt, they have the same possibility of changing the world. They may not have a 4.0 and college may not be in their sites. They may not look like a hero to anyone or have the means to help those in need. They will, however, do grand and wonderful things if they find the path that God has laid out for them.

Often we are misled to believe that we must look, talk, believe, dress or live a certain way in order to be a contributor to God’s plan. In truth, His plan reaches to everyone to whom He has given life. We all have a purpose. We were all created to be a part of the plan that we cannot see. There is only one way to find our place in that plan and that is to walk closely with the One who designed it. “The rose or the poppy simply cannot steal the show. Without the soil and the sun and the nurture and the care, the rose or the poppy could never grow” (Ravi Zacharias, The Grand Weaver, 72).

Mom and Dad, what do you see when you look at your babies? Who will they become? You will help them to develop their areas of giftedness and overcome their areas of struggle. You will encourage them to excel at something and to do their best at all things. You are the soil that is nourishing this tender plant. The very best way to ensure their success is to show them the way to follow the Leader. Show them the joy that comes from knowing He loves and cares for His children. Show them the way He provides peace in the storm. Show them your grateful heart for all that He does in your daily life. Make Him real in your home by making Him the central filter through which all family decisions are made.

Whether they be the soil or the rose, may you be the guide they need to find God’s purpose for their lives.

People Before Politics

If you have ever spent much time with elementary school children you know that it is quite probable you will discover where their parents stand on the people, in or running for, a particular political office.  They speak with great candor and confidence as the bash or support this powerful icon. I have yet to meet a 3^rd grader who understands foreign affairs, global warming, or military strategies, yet they seem to know, unquestionably, what the person in office is doing wrong in these areas on a given day.  Why? Because they hear the conversations of the grown-ups and take it as the gospel truth and are more than willing to share it.

Conversely, it is almost as simple to guess the party of a high school student’s parents by listening to them talk… because they will often take the opposing party of their parents!  It’s natural for them to question. It’s normal for them to challenge. It means they are learning to think on their own and draw conclusions based on steering away from the status quo to find something that might work just a little bit better than the “rut” into which adults struggle to see their way out of.

I just wonder what would we hear on the playground from our politically savvy kids if, rather than bashing the people in our government, we were to take time every day to say a positive word about them and PRAY FOR THEM. What if we were to stop and think before we talk, realizing that we have not walked in the shoes of our leaders and don’t ever have all the details causing them to make the decisions they make?  What if our hearts were attuned to God’s and we saw these candidates and public officials as God’s children, who he loves? How would that change who our kids grow up to be? After all, is it really so important to embrace a political agenda in light of the significance of supporting the Great Commandment to love God and the second greatest command, according to Jesus…. to love our neighbor as ourselves?

It’s primary election day in Indiana. I am going to the polls to vote my conscience. Someone there will cancel out my vote. It is the way of democracy. But, I vow to pray for the one who loses and the one who wins and for all the little children who are listening to us. I will pray that  our country can change for the better because we are teaching our children to pray for, rather than criticize our leaders. It actually takes less energy and leaves you a lot less agitated.

“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of   passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,  whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.  This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.  But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.”                                                                             Titus 3:1-9 NIV