Better Together

Are you a follower of Jesus? By that, I mean, have you made the decision to leave the leadership to Him, find out what the Word is all about and begin to be obedient to His guidance in your life? If you are a parent, with children following you, I truly hope that you have decided to follow Him! Otherwise, they will be on the wrong track!

Next question… do you feel like this is something that you are doing alone? Is it a private deal that you don’t really share with anyone? I sure hope not, because that would be the blueprint for failure. It may be possible… but it is not the way Jesus said we are to live out our faith. We need to live in community. To spend time with other believers who help us through the questions and the conflicts and the temptations. Friends who will encourage us and strengthen our faith. Friends who will remind us that there is only ONE answer to life’s toughest questions.

Okay, just one more question… Do you want your kids to follow Jesus? Well, I didn’t really have to ask that question, because if you read my blog you are more than likely a parent who is trying to raise their kids to know and follow Jesus. And if that is the case, can they see that you are surrounding yourself with the kind of people who are helping you do that? Do they see you investing in anyone who hasn’t been on their journey with Jesus as long as you?

The first followers of Jesus learned that they needed to stick together. They needed each other. They faced persecution like we probably will never face. They needed the strength to walk a dangerous road and that strength came from the encouragement of others who had actually been touched by the hand of God in human form. Our society may look different today. We don’t have to fear persecution for what we believe in a culture where we are taught that we need to believe whatever we feel like believing and do whatever feels good… HOWEVER… we still need the support of other believers. Why? Because we live in a culture where we are taught that we need to believe whatever we feel like believing and do whatever feels good! There is DANGER written all over that and we will fall if we try to go it alone.

God wants us to be strong… but didn’t design us to live in isolation. Our faith community is of critical importance. Accountability is crucial to our growth and development as followers. To whom are you accountable? Who is it that knows where you struggle? Where you are tempted to cross a line? As Christians, we sometimes think that we must be kind from a distance and not enter into the life of others. It’s their business, right? We really don’t want anyone in our business so why would we enter into theirs? Let me answer that for you; WE WERE MADE TO FUNTION AS A BODY.  An arm alone is not going to function well unless it is attached to the body… no matter how muscular it is. An eye with perfect vision is worthless rolling around on the floor. I know that sounds silly, but this is real stuff ! If you are not surrounding your family with a church where people walk the path together that Jesus has laid out for them; if you are keeping your faith walk separate from your work walk; if you are spending more time with friends who are not walking with Jesus than friends who are… You will become weak and powerless to fight the forces of evil that want nothing more than to destroy the Church, one person at a time.

Want to be a stronger Christian? Want your faith to increase? Want to be a good example for your kids? Start walking toward eternity with other followers of Jesus who will support you and challenge you to be the person God made you to be and the parent your kids need you to be.

How's Your Connection?

I am not a very tech savvy person. I don’t begin to understand the concept of a 4g network or how my proximity to a cell tower impacts my ability to carry on a conversation on my phone. All I know is that when I am talking to someone on the phone I have to have at least 3 towers in order to understand well what they are telling me and for them to hear my response. When that doesn’t happen, we accomplish nothing that we are trying to do or to communicate. 

When we are raising our kids in a godly manner, as I have stated in previous blogs, we are to be disciples that are making disciples right in our home. In order to be a disciple, I MUST be connected to God. I need a good connection so that there is open communication. I have to be in the Word learning who He is and about His plan. I have to spend time in meditation, listening for His Spirit to guide my decisions and my thoughts. I have to communicate with Him in prayer. If I am not doing all that I can to make that connection, then I am not going to be a good disciple and really not going to be making good disciples of my children.

At Mill Creek Church, our mission is to build disciples by helping them connect to God, people, purpose and compassion. I think this same process can be a roadmap for you as you disciple your children. But first and foremost, you must be connected to God. And, if you have a good connection with Him, you will find that you have begun to (1) connect to people… (2) to purpose…  (3) to compassion.  So as you commit to raising your kids in a godly home environment where they will find their way to God, maybe you can measure your connection to God by looking at those connections.

·         To whom are you most connected? Are your closest friends growing in their faith? Is their relationship with Jesus important to them? Are they helping you to be a better follower of Jesus? Are you helping them grow in their faith?

·         What is your purpose? There is more to life than going to work and trying to make it til payday. You have been given gifts and passions. How are you using them for God? Are you helping your kids find ways that they can use their gifts and passions to bring glory to God … or to themselves?

·         How do you measure up in the area of compassion? Where are you making sacrifices for those less fortunate? Do you have time to listen to those who need you? How are you serving with your family?

I have a very strong feeling that if your kids are not seeing you connecting and growing with other people of faith; if they are not seeing you use your gifts and talents for Jesus and His plan; if they are not seeing you reaching out and showing them how to minister to those less fortunate… they are not seeing that you are connected to God.

Connection to God doesn’t mean going to church.

Connection to God doesn’t mean you are a fan of Him.

Connection to God doesn’t mean that you have a sound moral compass.

Connection to God doesn’t mean that you have a few Bibles on the shelf that come down occasionally.

If you have a good connection, true communication happens. There is a strong understanding of God leading you. There is evidence of you following Him. A good connection with God will never leave you content with being the Sunday Christian that comes and does the church thing but is never transformed into the likeness of Christ. Connection with God means that you are becoming His disciple. Connection with God means that you are making disciples.

Get connected!

Home Schooling? Always!

Jesus tells us that we are to be His disciples, but He doesn’t stop there. We are to make disciples right in the place where we live and wherever we go. He isn’t telling church leaders to go make more church leaders. He is telling them that, just as they have been apprenticed to the Master, they are to be the masters who go out and make more apprentices who will learn what it means to become like the Master who designed them for a purpose.

We don’t use the terminology of apprenticeship much these days. We are more likely to think in the manner of an internship, where we hone a skill by working alongside someone who has excellence and experience in that field.

If you were studying for a particular trade, what would you hope to gain from your internship? OR… If you were apprenticed to a master what would you expect? I would expect that the master teaching me would have knowledge of the skill he/she was teaching; the ability to teach in a comprehensible manner; the tools of the trade; patience and grace; time to instruct; willingness to walk and work with me, encouraging me and directing me along the way.

If you are the Master and your kids are your apprentices, what are they learning? As the Master, are you growing in the knowledge of the Truth found in scripture? Are you sharing that with them and helping them apply it to their life in an age appropriate manner? Don’t wait until you have a full understanding of scripture to share it with your kids. Be committed to life-long learning and accept the fact that we won’t have all the answers this side of heaven. Keep growing and sharing as you grow.

Do you have the proper tools? Do you have daily devotions with them or provide a devotional book or app for your phone or theirs? Do you pray with them so they will feel comfortable talking to God? Do they have a Bible they can understand? A Bible Story Book? A church that supports what you are teaching at home with lessons they can grasp?

As their master/teacher do you show grace and patience with others? Do you demonstrate it as they learn what it means to grow and mature in their faith? Do you keep in mind that they are children and are unable to function at an adult level? Does the tone of your voice indicate a gentle spirit of one they wish to follow or is it harsh, making them want to run and hide? Do they hear tenderness as you engage in conversations with their mother or father? God is LOVE and if your love and devotion is not apparent with your spouse and children, they will learn a very distorted sense of who God is. Be kind and loving... always. Be gentle in spirit... always. Be approachable... always. If you think that is too much to ask, you better start learning now because you don't have very many years to demonstrate the selfless love that will help them identify God. Make your home a place where questions are welcomed and there is no fear of a critical spirit that keeps your family at arms length.

When you look at your calendar, do you see evidence that you are taking time to be a spiritual guide for your kids? Try color-coding and actually place things that you are doing to “make disciples” in a specific color. It is an eye opener! It is often said that we make time for what we consider important. Is there anything more important than guiding the children God has chosen to place in your care to the life and the purpose He has for them? Make the time for Bible stories. Pray with them. Make church attendance a priority over other activities. Be intentional with your time.

Are you an encourager? As a parent directing the behavior of our kids it is easy to find yourself being critical of all the things they are doing wrong. As a master with an apprentice, that tactic will end in discouragement. Your child was made for a purpose. Remind them of that by memorizing and quoting Ephesians 2:10 – “We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Applaud the good you see in them; the improvements they make. Not for the purpose of building pride, but in order for them to see what is right and what is wrong. For example, “I like the way I see you taking time to read to your sister. That shows me that you are learning to be the person God made you to be, sharing your time and talents with others.” Or, “When you stepped back and let your brother go first, I could tell that you are learning to put the needs of others ahead of your own. That is exactly what the Bible teaches and it makes God happy… and me too!”

Your home is the school in which your children are learning to be disciples. Teach them well so there will be no regrets as they grow and develop into the people God created them to be, doing the things He planned for them long before they took their first breath.

I am praying for you as you commit to this lifestyle of following the Leader so that you can lead the followers that call you mom and dad. 

As You Are Going...

Sunday was one of my favorite days of the year at Mill Creek Church. I got to hand out Bibles to the new First Grade students. It is always fun to see the pride and joy they have at having a “real” Bible with all the stories they have heard at home and at church. They will learn to read and as they look deeper and deeper into God’s Word over the years to come, they will begin to get a glimpse of what it means to truly follow God right into eternity.

The last message Jesus gave to his disciples before he ascended to heaven would have been nothing less than the most important directive to help His followers do that very thing. He had spent 3 years teaching them to trust when there was nothing tangible to build that trust upon; to love when there would be no love returned; to serve others and honor them above themselves; to communicate with their Heavenly Father always; to place their relationship with God above all others. Now was the time to give His parting wisdom. It was time to tell them how they would remain in His presence, even though He would no longer be with them physically.

So, let’s take a breath here and consider if it is important to read further. Have you determined that you want to be a disciple, a follower, of Jesus? Are you learning to place your trust in Someone that you don’t always understand? Is God’s Word the foundational Truth upon which you are building your life? Do you truly desire to follow Jesus and allow Him to use His power and divine authority to transform you into His likeness?  If you answered “Yes” then read on.

Finding myself in the “yes” category, I want to know what Jesus had to say, so I read on in Matthew 28: 19-20.  “So as you are going, you are to make disciples of all people…”  This is probably the best passage in the New Testament on parenting. It is not unlike the wisdom and direction found in the instructions God gave to His people centuries before Jesus ever came as man into our world. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 is part of the scripture that all those who worshiped God would have known by heart…

“The commandments I give you today must be in your hearts. Make sure your children learn them. Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And speak about them when you get up.

As you are going… everywhere you go… no matter where you find yourself… be sure that you are living in such a manner that, as your children observe your heart, they want what you have… a growing relationship with your Maker. That is the very best way to “make disciples of all people” beginning with the ones who live under your roof. Teaching the 10 Commandments doesn’t make disciples. Living with them in your heart, does. Teaching the Lord’s Prayer doesn’t make disciples. Living with a heart that communicates with God, does.  Going to church doesn’t make disciples. Living with the message of the Church in your heart, does.

Mom and Dad, ask yourself this: “Is my relationship with God appealing to my kids? Is it transforming me into His image? Will they desire to become followers of Jesus because of what they witness in my life and in my relationships? Am I living in His peace?

We all have our good days and the days that we just hope nobody was watching or listening. But, overall, where do you stand? Are you investing time in Word of God and sharing that truth with your children? Are you asking God to prune you and transform you into a growing, thriving, trusting, loving person that will help your kids find their way to God? Do your words and actions bring glory to God?

Ask for God to give you the wisdom and strength to walk so closely to Him that “as you are going” your kids can’t miss finding Him as they follow you.

Take the Good Samaritan Test

Are you a good Samaritan at home? Do you know what that would look like? Read the story again in Luke 10: 25-37 and take the Love at Home test.

Bottom line, Jesus spells out what it means to love your neighbor as yourself by sharing that the one who reaches out to those in need is the good neighbor. Now, let’s bring home the idea of loving your neighbor as yourself.

Loving ourselves: When we make a bad choice, we find ways to defend ourselves or justify our actions.

The Good Samaritan loved his neighbor as himself by extending kindness in spite of the fact that he possibly made a bad choice to travel alone in a dangerous place.

Love at home test: Have you ever neglected to respond to a need of your child or spouse because, “they made their bed, they can lay in it!” Do you withhold the love your husband needs because he hasn’t “earned” it? Do you belittle your wife for making the same mistakes again and again? Do your kids lie because they live in fear of your response to their infraction of the rules? Granted, there are times when “tough love” is needed to demonstrate the consequences for our kids behavior, but it shouldn’t be dished out with rage. They must see you have love and grace for them when they have made a bad choice. Beyond that, they need to see that grace extended to others, like your in-laws, the crazy driver who cut you off, the neighbor with the barking dog, the boss who doesn’t listen, etc.

Loving ourselves: When we have been injured, we do what it takes to restore our body to health.

The Good Samaritan loved his neighbor as himself because he sought out medical help and paid the bill for the injured man.

Love at home test:  When your spouse is under the weather, do you go out of your way to help with their responsibilities around the house? When they are ill, are you kind and patient? Do you spend money on your family’s needs without unbegrudgingly? Do you leave margin in your budget to demonstrate compassion for your kids by helping provide for those who cannot help themselves?

Loving ourselves: We would break away from tradition if we had a perceived need to be met that required us to do so.

The Good Samaritan loved his neighbor as himself because he ignored the traditional law of not touching blood, but bandaged up the wounds of the injured man.

Love test at home: Are you stuck in the method your parents used to parent you rather than really taking a look at what your kids need to learn and grow?  Do you treat your spouse as you witnessed in your home growing up or have you determined to extend mercy and grace, because that is what love looks like?

So, if you want to teach your children to follow the most important law of loving God and others, you better take a peek inside your home and make sure you find yourself showing mercy to their dad, their mom, to the neighbors, the in-laws, the strangers along the way and to those precious children God has entrusted to your care.