What Are You Drinking?

Now that Christmas is past, there is always that look at the previous year and the roller coaster ride of good and bad, successes and failures, treasured memories and trials that we have endured. As we look to 2017 there are things we all want (and maybe NEED) to do differently. We all have those areas where we need to improve in order to become who we were created to be. Some needs are pretty universal. We should get more exercise, be kinder, serve others, walk with Jesus, love God, be compassionate, drink more water, listen more than we talk, do our chores with a good attitude… and then the world will be a better place for all of us.

Clearly, drinking water is a pretty big deal and should be high on our list. Even Jesus needed water. Remember the story in John 4 where Jesus sits and waits at Jacob’s Well… longing for someone with a vessel to draw some clear, cool water to bring relief to his parched throat. Certainly he must have been dehydrated, for he stopped at the well and sent the disciples on into town for provisions. Apparently, without a drink of water, he couldn’t make it into town with them.

No, wait… this was Jesus. He could draw water from a rock if He chose to. But he didn’t. He had a greater need than water that day. He needed to connect with a sinner. On this day it was a woman whose life was a train wreck. He needed her to connect with Him, to engage and communicate with God in human flesh. That is why he waited at the well.

Every life seems to have a story of longing and seeking fulfillment; looking for all life has to offer; struggling to find our place to shine, our reason to “be.”  Our bellies are full of “best laid plans” and sour milk situations that we once thought would make our existence meaningful, or at the very least, happy. We go to the right places. We do what we are advised to do. We read and follow the self-help gurus… but still, we can’t quite quench that need deep within us.

Jacob’s Well was a good well. He was an ancestor to be proud of. Drinking from his well should be enough. It was probably the Evian of the first century. Jesus, however, being all wise, knew that even this water that had sustained life for generations was not enough. Not for Him. Not for the sinful woman who came to draw her water.

 With grace and compassion He appealed to her that day… out of HIS NEED… not for a drink of water, but to reunite with one He loved, even in her lost state. He needed to pardon her so that she could be His child, with all the benefits of a princess. He is doing the same today with you and with me. In the midst of our hot mess….even right in the middle of our identity crisis… our search for fulfillment… our climb to “significance” …our quest for true love. There He is, asking you, asking me to join Him, forever… to drink from His wealth … not our own; not our ancestors; not from places to which a broken world seems to have directed us.

The "well" where we "drink" may have good water, but it is not going to create the life for which our souls long. Our cravings will continue. Our hearts will remain dry. Our joy will not be complete until we submit to the One who engages our heart in that conversation, asking us to drink from His unending supply of Life. Life that is more amazing than we can ever imagine.

If you want to be a better parent, a better spouse, a better student, a better employee, a better follower of Christ in 2017, try focusing on the One who is calling you to sit with Him and drink in all that He has for you. That is the reason for the manger. That is the reason for the cross. You have an invitation from the Creator of the universe. Your time with Him is never EVER wasted. It is transformational.

He has been missing you…

The Thrill Of Hope

“The thrill of HOPE, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

These words from the familiar carol, “O Holy Night,” speak to me today, even though they were written over 150 years ago about the birth of Jesus Christ over 2,000 years ago. Why? Because the world is still weary. I hear from people regularly who are weary from hope that has been lost. It seems to be a familiar theme in Christmas stories…

In the Christmas classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey lost hope when a financial crisis hit his Savings and Loan. He was ready to end his life when Clarence the angel came on the scene to show him that his life had great value.

In the movie, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the Grinch became “grinchy” because of his loss of hope of ever being valued and loved by anyone… that is, until Cindy Loo Who came into his life and showed compassion by inviting him to be part of the community that had initially shunned him.

I wonder, as I type this column, if you are experiencing a profound weariness as you prepare for Christmas. All the shopping, the decorations, the food prep and parties… all the lists and cards and decisions to be make… all the blessings and programs and cookies to bake… the list seems endless and exhausting. What is it about the holidays that drain us and steal our joy?

The enemy of our soul will be happy to take credit for our weariness. As long as he can fill our lives with fun and busyness and list upon list at Christmas, he can keep our focus off of the “thrill of HOPE.” Without that Hope, you will certainly not “fall on your knees” in awe and wonder at the precious gift of a Savior.

Perhaps it isn’t a busy schedule, but a hopelessness in your spirit that has stolen your joy. Maybe you need the thrill of hope to be restored in your soul. Jesus came to bring hope. He came to bring life and make it better than you can imagine. He came to reunite His broken creation with the Creator. He came because of a love that we will never be able to comprehend.

This Christmas, may your heart be filled with hope as you encounter the beauty and the glory of God, becoming like us to reunite us with Him for eternity. May you see His love like never before and realize that there is indeed reason to have HOPE!

Merry Christmas!

"God and Sinners Reconciled"

Hark the herald angels sing, "Glory to the newborn king"
Peace on earth, and mercy mild - God and sinners reconciled
Joyful all ye nations rise. Join the triumph of the skies.

Christmas is a time to celebrate the gift of reconciliation. The whole purpose of Jesus coming to earth as a human baby was to bring reconciliation to God and humanity. Christmas is a gift of connection; of joining our needs with His supply; of bringing our loneliness to his comforting Presence. Christmas is the solution to the problem in Eden, when the great divide occurred between God and humanity. Christmas is “God and sinners reconciled.”

What a beautiful thought… God becoming man so that we can become divine; heirs of the King of Kings; companions of our Creator throughout eternity; free from the bondage of the sin that dominates our broken world. It is a gift beyond measure with an incomprehensible value.

Like any gift, it is only ours when we accept it.

So, do you want the gift?

It seems so simple. Of course we would want to be with God throughout eternity. Certainly we want freedom. As parents, we pray for our kids to accept this gift of immeasurable worth. But, do we really accept the gift, or just talk about it? Describe it? Read about it?

William Wallace wrote a poem in the 1800s championing the power and beauty of motherhood, but it applies to our homes today. The refrain will be familiar to you… “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” As parents, we hold the power to change the world by raising our children to understand the reconciliation that Jesus came to bring. Its primary purpose may have been to reconcile God and humanity, however, if we cannot bring ourselves to reconcile with one another, we have essentially rejected the gift.

If our kids are to take seriously the offer of reconciling with God, they must witness reconciliation, in its purest form, in our homes. Our unbridled tongue, our judgmental words, our lashing out in an emotional outburst, our unkindness, our refusal to accept an apology, our insistence to hang on to our bitterness as if it were a badge of honor… all these are indications that we are refusing the gift of Christmas, reconciliation with God. If this is what they see, they will not ever grasp the reconciliation that God has for us.

This Christmas, can we just let go of the heavy baggage of resentment that we proudly wear like an ugly Christmas sweater?  Can we rise above the tendency to bear grudges? Can we demonstrate love for everyone, no matter what, so that they can see the transformation that comes when we are truly reconciled with God? Scripture tells us that before we can be truly reconciled to God, we must be willing to be reconciled to one another.

Make this a Christmas to remember by unwrapping that gift of “God and sinner reconciled” and find true “peace on earth” and at home.

Demonstrate What You Celebrate!

Let There Be Light!

I like light. I don't maneuver well in darkness and tend to run into things. Life is just easier when you can see clearly. That said, there have been times when darkness has been a blessing...  Like when the neighbors pop in unexpectedly. I know what my floors look like in the light of day. It's been a busy couple of weeks... don't judge me! But with only the light of the Christmas tree and a few candles, I can confidently invite them in for hot cider and feel pretty good in my dimly lit, festive home...as long as they don't have to use the bathroom and turn on the light in there!  The point I am making is that darkness seems to be a blessing when we are trying to hide something. In that situation, light becomes the enemy.

If I were content to live in the light of the candles and tree lights, my floors would likely remain untouched longer. My bathtub would look pretty good if I never turned on the light. Even the left over mascara from yesterday doesn't  look bad smudged under my eyes when I don't turn the light on in the morning. Light tends to show us things that we don't really like to see, at times. It uncovers the flaws we mask. But without it, we slip into a state of neglect that is not healthy. Living in darkness helps us pretend we are okay when we really are a hot mess.

Perhaps it is a good idea to shine a spotlight into our lives, from time to time to see what we have either intentionally or subconsciously left untended. Parenting is a responsibility that keeps us running. Keeping up with the schedules that our children have can leave us exhausted and allow little time for the things to which we were once completely committed. Often times it is the busyness of life that becomes our "darkness."

 Do you remember when you decided to follow Jesus and were convinced that you were going to read your Bible daily? Do you recall those who you promised to pray for daily? Can you feel that inner pull to spend time daily with Jesus that you vowed was a lifetime commitment? How about mealtime with the family around the table? Or church every Sunday morning? Some invisible creature seems to have crept into our "darkness" and stolen our resolve to be the people of God.

For others of us, broken relationships and hurts have left us in "darkness" and rather than seeking the light that would expose our needs, our failures and our brokenness, we are content to stay in the darkness. Shining a light into our hearts would be painful, because in the darkness, we can assign blame to the ones who have hurt us rather than see our part in the hurt. It is easier to leave the lights off and live in darkness than it is to allow the light of God to expose the areas where we could begin to be transformed.

Jesus came to be the light. Jesus is light... not so he can humiliate or shame us, but so that He can bring healing. As Christmas approaches, allow His light to illuminate your soul and reveal the broken places where He wants to restore you. He is a good and faithful Father. Trust the Light.

Give It Up and Live It Up

“We don’t get credit for what we leave behind. We get credit for what we give away.” When the pastor said this yesterday morning my mind began to wander and I think I lost the next 5 minutes of his sermon. Our culture is pretty big on collecting “stuff.” Stuff that we can eat or use to prepare our food. Stuff that we can play with. Stuff that helps us relax. Stuff that makes us look better, thinner, younger. Stuff that makes our home cozy. Stuff that gets us to where we want to go in comfort and style. We like stuff. Recently I heard someone say that they aren’t sure they want to go to heaven because they will miss their STUFF!

What if we switched our focus from all we can store in this life, to all we can give in this life. What if we did this in 3 separate areas?

11.       Our resources. This is where you thought I would go, right? Parents and grandparents, stop over gifting your kids! We all know that the more they get, the more they want. The more they have, the more cluttered the house becomes which stresses out the parents, which stresses out the kids, which stresses out the parents more, which stresses out the kids more. I speak truth here. Can I get an AMEN!

Christmas is coming. This year, instead of spending the entire Christmas budget on stuff, give the kids the gift of giving. Take a portion of what you would spend on them and help them find a need in the community or around the world. Did you know that $12.50 will provide one child with a school lunch for a month in Haiti through the organization, Haiti Hungry No More? (like them on Facebook). What child wouldn’t want to share with a starving child?

Don’t make this something that you do IN ADDITION to what you give. Make it what you do INSTEAD, so they can feel the joy of sacrificing their own desires for someone truly in need. If they have a meltdown about making a sacrifice, you will know that you have successfully contributed to the building of a child who feels entitled. Detox their hearts by accepting where you are,realizing that it is ungodly and unhealthy, and begin to do life differently.

22.      Our Time.  Take a look at your calendar. How much marginal time do you have? How are you using your time to help others in need?  Can you begin to budget your time like you do your finances. Don’t overspend your time so that there is nothing left when an opportunity arises to bless someone. Just last year we were blessed by a whole crew of people that budgeted their time so they would have an entire day to put a roof on our house. My life is very full and having an entire day to give away is a rarity, but I witnessed it and we were richly blessed by those who took the time to be a blessing.

Talk about what you and your family can give … maybe start with once or twice a year and build up to every quarter or even once a month. Be aware of needs and be very prayerful about who to help. There are many needs in front of us every day. Even Jesus didn’t “fix” everyone who had a need. You could spend all your time reaching out to others, without even trying, and neglect your own children. Proceed with caution and wisdom and guidance from the One who wants you to say NO to some things so you can say YES to what is most important. We take zero minutes out of this world when we go. Give as many away as you can before you are called to go to your eternal home.

33.      Kindness. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?  It’s Cyber Monday as I write this post. Retail has gone wild. Stores are marking things down to sell more than they did on Black Friday. People are trampling over people. Retail employees are being harassed and insulted. I will never understand how something as beautiful as Christmas brings out the worst in people!

How much kindness can you leave behind? I think of the fairy tale where the children dropped bread crumbs on the trail in order to find their way home again. It didn’t go well for them because I think they ended up feeding hungry birds, or something of the sort. However, imagine leaving a trail of kind words and deeds. A trail of smiles and nods. A trail of letting others go first. A trail of genuine acts of kindness…. Not so others will reciprocate, but so that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus that the world needs to see. Start at home. Let them see the smile you share with your spouse. Let them witness you going the extra mile so lend a hand with the dishes. Be Kind Always!

Just take a look at what you have and what you give and see if, as a family, you can find a way to begin to store up more treasure in your eternal home than you do in this temporary one. Give your resources, your time and your kindness so that you will leave this world a better place than it was before you arrived… and have a Merrier Christmas!

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant

nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain,

but to put their hope in God,

who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds,

 and to be generous and willing to share.

 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves

 as a firm foundation for the coming age,

 so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”

1 Timothy 6:17-19

GIVE IT UP AND LIVE IT UP!

Show Them God

In Paul's first letter to Timothy he tells him to command those under his influence who are rich to do good (not be good, but to do good) with what they have. He said be rich in good deeds. God is really not impressed with what we have. He knows what we have because He is the One who made it possible for us to have it! He owns an entire universe so our income is not a big deal to Him. What is a big deal to Him is when we give it away.

How do we pass this message from scripture on to our children? How do we get their focus off of the things they want for Christmas? The things they want in the grocery cart? The clothing that makes them look good? The sports camp that will make the number one? The vacations that are so amazing? We love giving to our children and that isn't a bad thing. We just need to make sure that a big part of what we are giving is the knowledge of their true Provider.

How do we help our kids know God, the Provider, when they can't see Him? John tells us that God is LOVE. When we really, truly believe that our Creator, our Savior, our God is love, then it seems ridiculous not to place our hope in Him. When we accept the truth that God is Love, we live differently. We live in His love, accepting His mercy and grace and provision and extend the same to others. If we are to ever convince our kids that they can place their hope in a God they cannot see, they need to find that He is Love. They will see that in your life as you mature in your faith. You are the vessel for God's love that will guide them to Him. The way that you love helps them to see God. The way that you treat others helps them to see God. The way that you trust Him helps them to see God.

If you want your child see God, show them love extended to others. We don't make a lot of money, but we are "rich" in family. Through the years our home has always had an open door for people who need hospitality, who need to feel valued, who need someone to be their surrogate family. Our holidays are seldom filled with just those who are kin. It is a beautiful, crazy, messy thing to witness, but I love it because we get to do good with the riches God has provided. In our case, a pretty amazing family and a table full of food. Our grown children have discovered the God of Love and they have carried on the tradition. We truly have a family with no borders, and I pray that each one will see God through our love extended to them.

How are you "rich?" Show your kids how to give from your wealth, whether it be monetary, time, hospitality or... fill in the blank. Show your kids the God that is LOVE through the way that you love others. Do not live as the world lives, storing up riches for yourself. Those riches will become an obstacle that will obscure your child's view of the God who is Love. The God who provides for all our needs out of His immeasurable love for us.

Santa < Hope

When we place our hope in our Provider rather than in our provision, we have made the right choice. As humans, we can never be completely prepared for whatever unforeseen eventualities might come our way. We can never be sure we will have enough money to cover unexpected calamities. We may not be able to accumulate enough vacation days to get through an unforeseen emergency. We can never have enough wisdom to make the right decision every time. We are totally limited in our humanity to cover all the potential struggles we will face in this fallen and broken world so it really is senseless to place our hope in what we can do when we have a Provider that already has all our needs in His sights.

As I was thinking about all of this, I wondered what we, as people who love, teach and influence children, can do to help them grasp exactly where their hope should rest. How do we adequately show them how to place their hope in Someone they cannot see? Suddenly, it occurred to me that we do this annually, about this time of year…quite effectively. Probably the majority of parents in North America are able to spin the tale of Jolly Ol’ Saint Nicholas in such a way that their kids believe in gravity defying reindeer, magical elves and the man in the red suit that knows if they are naughty or nice. We make them believe that the gifts they receive are in direct proportion to their behavior. How are we able to pull off such a feat? Well, we have a lot of help... from television to storybooks to the marketplace to the media. We are immersed in the culture of the fantasies of yuletide and we love participating in the magic… at least until they find out we were part of the deception they bought into all those years.

Now, before you label me as Ebenezer Scrooge, let me say that I have no problem with children enjoying fantasy. Who doesn’t love Disney and Daniel Tiger, right? The difference is that we don’t go to all the trouble to convince our children that they are a reality, yet they love them just the same. There is no “un-telling” when they mature and discover that mice can’t make a gown for the ball and tiger cubs don’t really talk. Santa is a great legend when we emphasize his generosity to those in need. It’s fun to be silent and listen for reindeer on the roof. I love to watch the movies where the North Pole is full of wonder and I’m not above imagining that God could have designed such magical things, if He so chose.

I don’t believe that Santa is evil. I don’t believe there is a battle between a mystical elf and a Mighty God for the role of Hope of the world. I don’t know of anyone who has called out to Santa for their salvation with their last breath. We know that Jesus is our Hope. We see Him as our Provider. He is our Savior… God with us. Now then, how do we take the effort and the energy we have used in the past to make a mythical legend real to our children and invest it instead in helping them to believe in the One who came from heaven to earth on a starlit night centuries ago because of a love we will never understand?

Consider for one moment that you knew that Jesus would return to take His people home on the day after Christmas. How would that change the way you prepare for Christmas with your children? How would you be helping them to know the One who came to save the world 2,000 years ago and is coming again to take His followers home to heaven?

What if, this Christmas, you presented Jesus as the Hope and the Provider of all things good…focusing on the Babe in the manger who came to earth so He could be with us always, even though we cannot see Him. What if we spoke to them of needs rather than wants? What if we helped them be generous to others with the money we set aside for Christmas each year? What if we taught them that sharing joy with others is what Jesus desires for His birthday gift?

What if, this Christmas, you presented Santa as a generous man who lived long ago who lives on in the stories we tell and the traditions we enjoy. What if they see he is not a real and eternal person, but a wonderful, warm, rich legend with all the fun that goes with it? What if you never had to worry about their reaction when they discover that you have perpetuated an untruth to them for years?

What if, this Christmas, rather than a mischievous elf on a shelf, you started the tradition of the finding kind and generous acts for him or her to do. Catch that elf in the act of unselfishness, doing something for someone. Discover lists that he has made to bless others. If there is to be mischief, let it be because his plans for good were foiled by elfish mistakes. Perhaps he could even make suggestions to the children of ways they can bless others, since, after all, Elves can only work during sleeping hours... so they need our assistance. 

Remember that God gave you these children and they are yours to teach. Teach them that Christmas is our reason for a hope of a happily ever after with Jesus someday. That is no myth and it's a story you will never have to un-tell. To the vast majority of people in this world, you are rich, so use your wealth to teach your children how to appreciate what they have and to have generous hearts.  

 “Command those who are rich not to be arrogant, 

nor to put their hope  in the uncertainty of wealth…”  

(or in Santa Claus).  

I Timothy 6:17

The STUFF Epidemic

It is the night before election day as I write this and I am going to be very politically incorrect. I am going to tell you something that is not supposed to be discussed. Not about a candidate, but a private matter that is not really any of your business. I am going to just blurt it out right now… I am going to tell you how rich we are. I know, I know. You are not supposed to talk about that but here I go. …

We are very, very, very rich. So rich that we have 4 chairs around our table every day even though there are typically only two of us eating. We are so rich that we have 8 plates, 8 bowls, 8 cups and 8 saucers and most meals there are only 2 of us here. Now, when all the kids and grandkids come for a meal, 8 isn’t enough, but we are so rich that we just buy dishes to use once and throw them away!

The point I want to drive home is that, compared to the majority of the world, if you have a home where you can eat 3 meals a day then you are truly rich. You probably don’t feel rich. In fact, maybe right now you are wondering if you are going to make it to your next paycheck. Most of us have had financial struggles at some point, but, by comparison to the rest of the world we have sooooo much stuff!

So let’s take a look at that stuff and what impact it is making on our family. 

1.      Stuff takes space.  The more stuff you have the bigger home you need; the more shelving you need. You need a bigger closet. You need more space to store all the stuff you acquire.

2.      Stuff takes time.  When you have a lot of stuff it is always harder to find what you are looking for. Time is needed to keep things in order or to clean and organize all the stuff.

3.      Stuff creates stress.  When there is stuff everywhere we tend to get cranky and yell at our kids or spouse because we are tired of the mess all our stuff creates

4.      Stuff creates overwhelmed and irresponsible children. The more they have the less they respect and appreciate their things. When they are given more than they can take care of in a few minutes, they leave things out where they end up broken or lost. They expect others to take care of the things they own and they have played with because there is just so much stuff!

I may have struck a nerve and if so, bear with me here.  I am not advocating that you take all your children’s toys away or only allow them one change of clothing (although that would seriously alter the time needed to do laundry!).  This is the time of year when all the stores are gearing up for Christmas. The commercials are informing our children of all the things they can put on their Christmas list. We love our kids and love to give to them, but what we don’t want to give is a sense of entitlement, which is a huge issue in our society. We don’t want to foster that epidemic, so what do we do to prevent it from contaminating our children?

First of all, begin by taking inventory. Clear out the toys they have outgrown. Often times kids want more simply because they are accustomed to being surrounded by stuff. That looks right to them, even though they aren’t playing with very much of it. Get rid of the things that are broken or have pieces missing. They have served their purpose, now they must be retired.

Secondly, keep only what your child can manage to care for on their own. Whether they are 2 or 12, don’t have more toys at their disposal than they are capable of putting away all by themselves. If you have an overwhelming amount and aren’t ready to pass them on to someone else, store them somewhere out of their sight until you are ready to share them with others. You can even alternate the toys every couple of weeks and keep them interested, but be sure to pack some away if you are bringing new ones on the scene.

Third, if your children are older, allow them to give their gently used toys to someone less fortunate. They will learn the joy of giving if you allow them to be generous.

Fourth, don’t ask them for a list of what they want for Christmas. Ask instead what makes their heart hurt. Share with them some of the needs in the community or around the world and allow them to choose which one they would love to help. Explain to them that they will still get a gift to open, but the best part of their gift will be knowing that their generosity has brought joy to someone who has great needs.

Maybe this blog should be addressing grandparents. We tend to enjoy lavishing our grandkids with gifts, but how about giving them a framed picture of the orphan in Haiti you are sponsoring with the money that would have purchased more toys or stuff for them to trip over. Then throughout the year, take them shopping to purchase a birthday gift or a "just because" gift for that child or for someone in need. Make your quality time with them about teaching them to see outside of themselves and learn to be givers rather than collectors of stuff.

"Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life."               1 Timothy 6:17-19

Trading Terror For His Presence

Surfing. Snow skiing. Mountain climbing. I just saw a commercial with all three of these activities and I noticed 2 things. One… all the participants were doing things that the majority of people on the planet could not be able to do and loving it. Two… my pulse quickened and I actually felt fear just watching them. Don’t judge me. You have your fears, too. I will take on your spiders and snakes, just don’t make me scale the side of a mountain. 

The good news in all of this is that God is not commanding me to be courageous and hop onto a surf board or ski lift. He is, however, interested in MY FEARS and He wants me to trade them for HIS COURAGE. Why? Because His presence in our lives dispels all fear and He wants nothing more than to be PRESENT in our lives. In fact, He made the ultimate sacrifice in order for that to happen.

Have I not commanded you,

“Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9

Here is what I want to say to you today. Courage isn’t just about running into a burning building or crossing Niagara Falls on a tightrope. Courage is about doing the hard things the right way. Parents, raising kids is one of those hard things. We may not think of it as something we “fear” but how else do you explain our inability to hold our ground when we have said “no” to something that we know isn’t what God wants for our family and back down when all the other parents are saying “yes.” What is it that keeps us from following through with our “yes” to what is right when others are saying “no” to those values? Do we fear that we will be singled out as a radical? Do we fear that our children will miss out on something if we take a strong stand? Whatever the case, when we cave in to that fear, our children are the ones who stand to lose the most. We have demonstrated for them that we would prefer to put our faith in the wisdom of man rather than allow God to give us the courage to live life as His Word directs us.

            All this sounds really preachy, I know, but think about it...

…a toddler is brewing up a meltdown in public and the parents are afraid of the scene he will make so they give in to the child rather than letting their NO mean NO.

…a teenager wears revealing clothing that the parents deem inappropriate, but allow because they fear she won’t fit in

…a little league player misses church all summer because his parents are afraid he will let the team down if he doesn’t play on Sunday

…a middle-schooler who doesn’t want to attend church with his family is allowed to stay home from church because his parents fear that he will resent them… and God

… a father stops spending time with his family so he can climb the corporate ladder because he fears the lack of financial security

… a tired mother allows mayhem in her home because if she corrects the children’s behavior she fears she will lose control

            It isn’t hard to find these examples because I have lived some and witnessed others. The fact is, raising a family is difficult… like surfing and skiing. But those who ride on top of waves and those who fly down mountains on skinny pieces of wood have learned to replace their fear from the most exciting and invigorating experience of their life.

If we are going to be parents who arrive at the end of our parenting career (does that really ever happen?) with no regrets, we need to stop fearing what people/society can do and start realizing that the God of angel armies is on our side when we walk the path He has laid out for His children. We will never EVER walk that path alone. Now that is what I call exciting and invigorating!

Parents, be strong and courageous.

Don’t be terrified of what the world may throw at you.

Don’t be discouraged when the course is tremendously challenging.

Remember that He will give you the courage to stay the course

and lead your children to become the persons He made them to be.

Fix Your Thoughts

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice! … Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…. Then the God of peace will be with you.”                                              Philippians 4:4-9

As I type this, my niece, Ellen, is laboring to bring her 3^rd son into the world. When he is placed in her arms she will feel a love that only a mother can understand. A bond will continue to grow and a connection will be made that no one else will have. It is a special link between a mother and her child. It is beautiful and it is awful because, with such a love, comes a concern that can quickly turn into fear and anxiety when we hold on to it.

I am a mother. I know that fear.  I also know that we can become so obsessed with concern for our children that we hold on to it like a soggy blanket, feeling only the dampness and not the warmth, yet we hold on as if, in our worry, we are showing a greater degree of love. What we are actually demonstrating is our complete inability to let God be in charge of the things that are His to manage.

I know there are many of you out there who struggle with anxiety and it is a very real problem. Some of it is hormonal, some is from emotional baggage that we bring into motherhood, some is a chemical situation that requires medication, and some of it is a choice. I am speaking to those of you who fall into that last category, however, all can benefit from the words of the Apostle Paul. It is more than a ‘don’t worry, be happy’ passage. There are actual instructions in how to get from worry to peace.

1.      Joyfulness…Be full of joy in the Lord. Be aware that he is with you and in you and is the provider of all you need. Acknowledge him for who he is and what he can do and has done in your life.

2.      Exchange worry for prayer. Surround yourself with godly friends who will pray with you, but first, hand it over to the one who created you. He is big enough to handle it.

3.      Sing songs of praise. Be thankful for all he has done. God lives in the praise of his people. If singing isn’t your thing, listen to songs of praise. It makes a huge difference.

4.      Understand the power of your thoughts. Erase the “what ifs” and fix your thoughts on God’s truth. Dwell on what is honorable, right and pure; what is lovely and admirable and worthy of praise. Get your head in the game and give stinkin’ thinkin’ the boot!

5.      Surrender your life to God. Do as the Bible teaches. Paul did a 180 from a life of persecuting Christians to being their leader. It doesn’t matter where you started from, turn to godly living and enjoy God’s peaceful presence in your life.

There will not be a medal of honor for those who worried the most about their children. Let go of it. Let God be in control. He has the tools and the wisdom to guide you as you guide them. 

P.S.  Dan and Ellen, when he gets here, tell little Lincoln this one is for him. xoxo

Stopped Dead In Your Tracks!

When our oldest was a little girl, she suffered from very low muscle tone and an auto-immune disease that ate away at her muscle fiber. All of this made her struggle with balance and the core strength she needed to be able to do the things that other children did without even thinking about it. Her unsteadiness made her fearful of falling and when winter came and ice covered the sidewalk, she was particularly nervous. Because of the inflammation, falling was more painful for her so that brought a paralyzing fear when it came to getting from the house to the car. She would literally freeze in her tracks.

All that is understandable, right? She was young, weak, and unstable and the ground was really hard! The part that didn’t make sense was that this overwhelming paralysis would stop her from moving forward for fear of falling … yet falling was not going to happen. Every step of the way we would have a firm grip on her little hand and had she begun to fall, we were right there to catch her before she would hit the ground.

I wonder how many times in life we are like little Emily, allowing our fears, which are often unsubstantiated, to halt any progress we could be making in life. How often do we forget that He is right there, holding our hand as He calls us to move forward in faith to fulfill His plan for us?

The fear of failing is a very real fear and I would guess that most of us suffer from it from time to time. We don’t want to disappoint. We don’t want to bring negative judgment upon ourselves. We don’t want to look foolish. But isn’t that making life all about “ME?”  My hesitancy to move forward and do something is because my failure to perform at a high enough level will make ME look bad. 

One of the greatest problems with this fear is that it is terribly contagious. If you are stuck and not moving forward in the direction God is nudging you, your kids will observe this and soon determine that God cannot be trusted and they will follow your lead. Hold steady! Don’t do anything rash! Wait it out and maybe God will find someone else to do it!

Why were you born? Why did God bring your children into the world? I really can’t answer that question in a specific manner for myself, my children or you and your children. But one thing is certain, if we stand still and play it safe we will not find our purpose and neither will they. Do yourself a favor and look up. The Father is holding your hand and though you may stumble here and there, He won’t let go and you won’t fall down. Trust Him. Take a step. Become who you were created to be.

“If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm;

Though he stumble, he will not fall,

For the LORD upholds him with his hand.”

Psalm 37:23-24

Stopped Dead In Your Tracks!

When our oldest was a little girl, she suffered from very low muscle tone and an auto-immune disease that ate away at her muscle fiber. All of this made her struggle with balance and the core strength she needed to be able to do the things that other children did without even thinking about it. Her unsteadiness made her fearful of falling and when winter came and ice covered the sidewalk, she was particularly nervous. Because of the inflammation, falling was more painful for her so that brought a paralyzing fear when it came to getting from the house to the car. She would literally freeze in her tracks.

All that is understandable, right? She was young, weak, and unstable and the ground was really hard! The part that didn’t make sense was that this overwhelming paralysis would stop her from moving forward for fear of falling … yet falling was not going to happen. Every step of the way we would have a firm grip on her little hand and had she begun to fall, we were right there to catch her before she would hit the ground.

I wonder how many times in life we are like little Emily, allowing our fears, which are often unsubstantiated, to halt any progress we could be making in life. How often do we forget that He is right there, holding our hand as He calls us to move forward in faith to fulfill His plan for us?

The fear of failing is a very real fear and I would guess that most of us suffer from it from time to time. We don’t want to disappoint. We don’t want to bring negative judgment upon ourselves. We don’t want to look foolish. But isn’t that making life all about “ME?”  My hesitancy to move forward and do something is because my failure to perform at a high enough level will make ME look bad. 

One of the greatest problems with this fear is that it is terribly contagious. If you are stuck and not moving forward in the direction God is nudging you, your kids will observe this and soon determine that God cannot be trusted and they will follow your lead. Hold steady! Don’t do anything rash! Wait it out and maybe God will find someone else to do it!

Why were you born? Why did God bring your children into the world? I really can’t answer that question in a specific manner for myself, my children or you and your children. But one thing is certain, if we stand still and play it safe we will not find our purpose and neither will they. Do yourself a favor and look up. The Father is holding your hand and though you may stumble here and there, He won’t let go and you won’t fall down. Trust Him. Take a step. Become who you were created to be.

“If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm;

Though he stumble, he will not fall,

For the LORD upholds him with his hand.”

Psalm 37:23-24

Two Amazing, Wonderful, Awful Words

There are two words that can completely ruin us. These two words can take control of our minds. They can suck the joy of the most pleasant moment. They can leave us paralyzed, overwhelmed and clueless as to the way out of the darkness in our soul.

These same two words have the power to help us accomplish great things. They empower us to go beyond the boundaries of our logical mind. They spark the imagination and give us the strength to go beyond our wildest dreams.

What are these powerful words? 

WHAT IF…?

In both instances they are spelled exactly the same. The meaning of each word doesn’t change. The difference is in the focus of the one who speaks them.  One is focused on all the negative possibilities; the crisis that could be around the corner; the tragedy that awaits us at any given moment... while the other is focused on all the wonderful possibilities that surround us when we take a step into the unknown.

Parenting is a definite step into the unknown. There are enough “what ifs” in parenting to scare the hair right off your head. Unless, of course, you change your prospective.  Bad things will happen. Chicken pox and head lice; bullies and scraped knees; failed tests and failed morals… these things will make your life miserable. They can cause a breakdown in communication, loud angry voices, loss of sleep and loss of sanity. One the other hand, they give you the occasion to teach and guide and love and show compassion and grace. Ah… what a beautiful opportunity it is! 

Think about it a minute… nothing you are encountering in parenting is a first. Nothing you are struggling through is a surprise to God. Nothing that is challenging you right now as a parent is beyond the power of God to get you through.  He has done some pretty amazing things. He will walk with you and give you what you need because He said so!

Do you realize that every time you try to manage on your own, you are essentially turning your back on God? Did you know that when He formed your child He already had a plan for that child? Do you think for one minute that He will forsake that plan or that child? All you  have to do is let Him lead and He will guide you out of whatever mess those stinky kids get into! 

Now take a deep breath and blow all the worry out! God’s got this! Just don’t forget to keep your focus on the Good, Good Father and make all the “what ifs” a wonderful adventure!

Terrified!

I think kids are so resilient because they are forced to face the most common fears with which we, as adults, still struggle.

For example…

·         The fear of failure paralyzes us, yet our kids fail continually as they are daily learning new skills and it brings amazing growth into their lives.

·         The fear of the unknown keeps us from moving forward, yet a child has no clue what is ahead of them and they take off running in any given direction.

·         The fear of change cripples many adults, but children embrace all the transformation that takes place in and around them.

Perhaps, when Jesus admonished his followers to be more like the children, these are some of the things he was referring to.

I didn’t find a “fear of raising children” on any of the lists but I think it falls well within the fear of failure, unknown and change! These are the constants of raising children.  And they are very REAL and APPROPRIATE fears. My kids didn’t come with a manual. I didn’t realize that they would all be so very different. I had no clue that love wouldn’t be enough and that the wisdom I needed to do it right wouldn’t show up until they were grown. I guess that isn’t very encouraging and it isn’t entirely true, however, it isn’t entirely false, either.

Most parents reading this blog want to raise their children well. In fact, most go to great lengths to see that our kids have the best tangible resources we can afford, but a stroll through any given classroom will show you that we are failing to give them the best intangible resources.  If you can touch it, we will do all we can to give it. But when it comes to the things we plant in their character, the unseen things, we seem to be falling short. The trend is to blame a corrupt politician or the media or Hollywood or a famous athlete who is not being a good role model for the failures we see in our children, but that is a cop-out! We have to take the time to shape our children, to stand up to what is wrong, to hold fast to what is true and to lay the path out for them that will guide them to Jesus.

Parents who follow Jesus must begin to realize that their journey of faith directly impacts the journey of their children. If the Word of God is of minimal importance in their life, so will it be for their children. If worship together with other believers is optional, it will be for your children. If absolute truth is not a foundation in your teaching, your kids will be determining their own truth. If the acquiring of “things” is the reason for all the extra hours you work, your kids will learn that “things” are valued more highly than time with you.

Parenting isn’t for sissies! It is HARD to do what is right for your kids. It is HARD to take a stand when all the other parents are going with the flow without regard to the end result. Maybe it would be easier if we had a greater FEAR of FAILURE. Maybe that fear would motivate us to get back on the right track.

When the disciples of Jesus were tossed by the storm at sea they were terrified, but when Jesus summoned all the power of heaven to calm the storm, they were gripped with an unspeakable, reverent fear. Raising kids is frightening, without a doubt. But, if we have a good and reverent fear of the One who will judge us for what we are investing in our kids and in our relationship with Him, perhaps the storms of parenting would be less terrifying because we would be growing in wisdom as we grow in Him.

Be A Giant

Recently I saw a cartoon of a teen-aged boy angrily addressing his parents with the caption, “I will stand here and hold my breath until you guys start treating me like an adult!” If you work in the public, you have probably seen people like that. They never seem to grow up. They expect a free ride with no contribution or effort of their own.  They want what they want when they want it. Period!

As parents, we certainly don’t long for our children to remain as dependent and demanding as a newborn. Precious as they are, let’s face it… newborns are exhausting! Their only way to communicate is crying when their needs are not met. They have to be fed eight times a day! When you try to give them something besides milk, they spit it out all over everything! They make messes that you are expected to clean up and they cost a whole lot of money and never offer to do anything at all to cover their own expenses.

Growth and maturity is a good thing. It means things are going as they are supposed to go. Lessons are being learned. Character is being formed. Independence is being achieved. We were not intended to remain in our infancy. This is true physically, emotionally and spiritually. We don’t stay tiny. We don’t stay whiny (hopefully). So why, in our culture, do we accept that it is proper to remain infants spiritually?

I have a theory. We have no control over our physical growth. Nature takes us from newborn to adult in a matter of a couple of decades. Our culture pressures us to mature emotionally. Nobody likes a whiner! When it comes to our spiritual growth, that is completely on us... and we call it a "private matter." Nature and culture are no help at all. In fact, sometimes the opposite is true!  We alone must decide if we want to take the next steps after saying “yes” to following Jesus. Sometimes it's as if we have our “fire insurance” and feel pretty comfortable with being a good citizen and belonging to a church. It is that comfort that inoculates us against growth and keeps us in spiritual infancy. It keeps us from growing and developing into the person God created us to be. It keeps us from fulfilling the plan God created us to accomplish.

What does it even look like to mature spiritually? It looks like getting to know what Jesus has to say about living life. It looks like walking with others who are doing the same and providing accountability for each other. It looks like making decisions based on what Jesus said rather than what our culture says. It looks like quiet time to listen to Him. It looks like loving people that can never love you back. It looks like going the second mile when nobody will ever know that it was you who did so. It looks like preferring others above yourself. It looks like being a disciple that makes disciples.

Spiritual maturity looks like the church being the CHURCH that Paul described to the Ephesians … working together; building each other up; teaching; guiding; encouraging.

Spiritual maturity looks like peace in the storm and inexplicable joy, even when life stinks!

Parents, that is what you want for your kids, right? 

Teach your children well by growing into a spiritual giant they can see, head and shoulders above the crowd. The crowd is not leading them to Jesus.  This may sound like a job that is too big for you. Remember how you felt the first time you held them in your arms? That overwhelming doubt in your ability to raise a human? You didn't resign or give up, but did what you knew to do, learned what you needed to know and put all you had into keeping them alive! 

You can be their spiritual giant. That is not a distinction reserved for Mother Teresa, Martin Luther, John Wesley and the Apostle Paul. It is actually expected of all who call Jesus, LORD. It was His plan that you should grow into a disciple that would make disciples. Walk that path before them. Find ways to insure that you are growing more like Christ. Be very conscious of the legacy you are leaving for them. They are right behind you.

Stop Tilting the Mirror

We have been doing some work in our basement and moving things around to do it left a full-length mirror leaning against the wall. The angle is awesome because every time I catch a glimpse of myself walking past it, I see a tall, slim version of myself that isn’t exactly an accurate representation of reality. Part of what I see is absolutely correct. Same hair style, same skin tones, same clothing… but the difference is in the proportions. It seems like a pretty good deal… if only it was entirely true!

In Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus, he reminds them that Satan loves to get a hold of half- truths and turn them into angry, sinful outbursts. You know what I mean. Your spouse comes home tired and doesn’t respond as you would like and their fatigue convinces you of the lie... “you don’t even love me anymore.” Or maybe you are feeling justified in turning a cold shoulder because your spouse has crossed you one time to many. Our misinterpretations and justification are the kind of “lies” Satan loves to get his hands on, because, with them, he can create an angry spirit in no time that can destroy a relationship and cause homes to collapse.

Divorce rates are virtually the same in the homes of those who go to church and call themselves God followers as those who do not. Why? Maybe it is because we are all looking in a tilted mirror when we check to make sure that we are looking good and our partner is the one that is a hot mess. If we truly looked at the core of who we are, that place that God sees when He looks at us… the place where our behaviors are not white-washed with our own justification and validation, we will see ourselves truthfully.

Discovering truth is critical to our growth and development as one who is called to reflect the image of God in a world that is full of darkness. We cannot carry His light, in our home or in the world around us, if we are hiding from the truth of who God is and who we are. Do you want to be the light of God in your home? Do you want your kids to see Jesus in you? Paul says we need to start by saying only what is helpful and useful and will build others up. Get rid of the bitterness that is causing you to withhold the love that you promised for a lifetime. Dispose of rage and anger and words that tear down. Be kind and compassionate and forgive each other… completely.

Tilted mirrors only feel good for a second. When we go out to live in real life, our real self comes with us and it usually isn’t nearly as lovely as the one we have convinced ourselves is truth. Take a good look in the mirror. Who do others see? Who does God see? Who do you see? Is it time to stop justifying your anger or rage or words that tear down? Is it time to realize that someone else’s behavior doesn’t make your bad choice a good choice? Don’t repay evil with evil. Do and say everything as though there is the LIGHT of Jesus within you. 

R E S P E C T and the Fine Art of Teaching It

It seems that we have created a culture that concerns itself more with “rights” than “respect.”  Children have learned that they have a right to choose whether or not to obey. They have a right to dislike a teacher and therefore disregard his instruction. They have a right to say what they feel and the manner in which they do so is accepted as their right to expression. We give our children the right to decide what they will wear, how they spend their time, what they will eat, if they will do their chores and how they will speak to others.  This has all boiled down to a pot of simmering self-centeredness that has poisoned an entire generation.

How did we end up here and what can we do to reverse this epidemic?  I have a few ideas…

First of all, we have become very near sighted in our approach to parenting. If you want your kids to develop certain character traits, you have to look beyond the struggle of the day. Looking into the adult we want our kids become, we set the course when we become their parents. If you want them to, for example, make eye contact and pay attention when they are spoken to, teach that at an early age. Begin at home with training and coaching, not in the marketplace, after you are embarrassed about their lack of respect. Acknowledge a job well done and celebrate their successes as they achieve the desired behavior.

A whining toddler will become a whining adolescent if that behavior isn’t squashed. A two-year old can learn that the voice and expression they are using will not gain them what they want. Stop them with, “Wait a minute. That is whining and whining is not okay. I think you would like a drink, so let’s practice saying, “may I have a drink, please?” Yelling at them for whining or telling them to stop is pointless. This is a behavior that you  teach your way out of.

Unkind words should not be accepted. They need to know the standard that you will accept, (and being tolerant of bad behavior tells them it is acceptable) and be taught and expected to comply. The words “I hate…” are ugly words. Teach them that the angry feelings may be legitimate but the response to that anger must be bathed in self-control.  Expressing our feelings in a courteous manner will get results much quicker than a fit of rage. … unless of course that fit of rage causes you to compromise your values in an attempt to keep the peace. Now you have begun the building of a monster! There is a very large price to pay for catering to a temper tantrum. Many more will arise if you don’t help them to learn the proper way to communicate. Is there anything worse than a 13 year old girl pouting because she didn’t get what she wanted? Stop that behavior early, no matter how much time and patience it takes.

Second, learn to treat others with respect… yes, even at home… and even when they need discipline. We all know that kids mimic the behaviors that they witness. If you don’t speak to their daddy with respect they will soon learn that he is not worthy of respect. If you treat their mom disrespectfully, they will learn that is an acceptable reaction, as well. When your child is exhibiting an undesirable behavior, screaming at them is an example of the behavior your DO NOT want to see in them.  Doing it with others around magnifies the degree of disrespect that you are showing. However, for most of us, screaming happens at some point. Don’t let yourself off the hook because they were naughty. Tell them that you were out of line and should have handled that better. Don't let them off the hook either because their behavior was also out of line. If you find that teaching them good behavior is not working after several attempts, then you  need to calmly tell them that they have earned the consequences for doing as they have been taught; whatever they are doing is still not acceptable even though you have taught them the appropriate behavior...and follow through EVERY TIME until they realize that you mean business. No yelling needed. Replace an enraged, “You just lied to me” with, “you just told me something that is not true and that is not okay with me or with Jesus. I saw what happened and I know that you made a bad choice. Tell me why you think you did that and let’s figure out together what you could/should have done or said. If you continue to lie, there will be consequences because you know better.”  Never tire of explaining that there are consequences to all our decisions. Then if the negative behaviors continue, don’t make yourself a teller of untruths, but follow through with the appropriate action that you promised would come if the lying continued.

Third, don’t make the kids the center of your universe. There is only room for One there and God alone should be on that throne. When we are so concerned about our child’s ego and/or happiness that we let it control our life, we have essentially become idolatrous. Partner with their teachers to overcome obstacles  rather than trying to make excuses for their struggles. Teach the kids the art of respecting others… yes, even (or maybe especially) teachers and coaches. It’s okay to poke your head in at school to observe when you feel there is a problem. Talk respectfully to the teacher, don’t just side in with the child. It is expected that you make sure that their coach  is aligned with the values you teach at home. If that is not the case, you have the power and authority to remove them from the team. Don’t let someone else determine your child’s values. That is something that parents need to take the lead on and stick to their beliefs, growing at all times in wisdom and understanding.

Finally… Be involved and be aware and be in coaching mode every moment you are with your kids. Don’t become weary in teaching them right from wrong. and remember you are not just surviving parenthood, but shaping the person that God created them to become. You are guiding them toward the future He planned for them. Remember that your child’s happiness is not the goal of parenting. Your child’s godliness is the goal. And guess what??? The product of godly living is the purest form of peace and  joy.  That, my friend, is a wonderful outcome for all your hard work!

What A Headache!

Sunday, when Pastor Chris mentioned how the Israelites would build a little box and fill it with God’s instructions to them about how to spread the message of His goodness and glory to their children, then tie it to their foreheads so they wouldn’t forget, I have to admit… I laughed out loud at the mental picture it created. I have read that many times in Deuteronomy 6, but this time I just kept seeing these huge, ornate vessels tied to their foreheads.  I am guessing that the more “spiritual” they wanted to appear, the bigger and more ornate the box. Imagine what that looked like and tell me you aren’t laughing right now! I am certain that the instruction was not intended to be taken literally, but it was of supreme importance… and if you couldn’t remember the instructions, then you had better tie them around your head because this is straight from God!

It wasn’t even a hard message to remember. It was simple. Remember that there is only ONE GOD and LOVE HIM with all your heart, mind and strength. No forehead ornament required.

I began to think about parenting today and the things we do to convince others that we are good parents. Then I started to wonder if future generations of anthropologists will look back at our society and laugh out loud at the things we did…

• ·         In middle America today, our culture says good parents make sure their kids attend good pre-schools, but says little about teaching manners and kindness in the home.
• ·         Our culture says we are to fill their rooms with more toys than they can play with in a year and then expect them to keep that room orderly when even an adult is overwhelmed by all of it.
• ·         Our culture scoffs at the lack of respect children and teens exhibit, but the daily viewing of sitcoms and children’s shows full of rude behavior and disrespect are considered acceptable and appropriate.
• ·         Our culture places sports ahead of worship, then when the kids reach the teen years and have no desire to know or worship God, we panic and don’t understand why, expecting the church to "fix" this problem.
• ·         Our cultures spends billions on things that will improve our self-esteem, then laments the fact that we are raising self-centered children

God’s Word has not changed and His instructions are for us in 2016. Remember that there is only ONE GOD and LOVE HIM with everything in you! How are you doing with these instructions? How well are you passing them on to your kids?  Are you doing the things our culture calls you to do and wondering why your kids aren’t drawn to the One who loves them most and knows them best?

A young father told me just the other day that he had begun to realize that he had put his kids where God belonged. They were first. Their wants and whims came before God and they were paying the price for that error. He is wise to discover and begin to correct this pattern while his kids are still young.

Take a step back and look inside your home. Now take the journey into the future and see if you are steering your kids in the right direction for them to grow into disciples, following their Maker and becoming the persons God created them to be. Don’t be afraid to trim the sails and change the course of their future by setting your sites on Loving God with all your heart, mind and strength, and teaching them to do the same.

Better Together

Are you a follower of Jesus? By that, I mean, have you made the decision to leave the leadership to Him, find out what the Word is all about and begin to be obedient to His guidance in your life? If you are a parent, with children following you, I truly hope that you have decided to follow Him! Otherwise, they will be on the wrong track!

Next question… do you feel like this is something that you are doing alone? Is it a private deal that you don’t really share with anyone? I sure hope not, because that would be the blueprint for failure. It may be possible… but it is not the way Jesus said we are to live out our faith. We need to live in community. To spend time with other believers who help us through the questions and the conflicts and the temptations. Friends who will encourage us and strengthen our faith. Friends who will remind us that there is only ONE answer to life’s toughest questions.

Okay, just one more question… Do you want your kids to follow Jesus? Well, I didn’t really have to ask that question, because if you read my blog you are more than likely a parent who is trying to raise their kids to know and follow Jesus. And if that is the case, can they see that you are surrounding yourself with the kind of people who are helping you do that? Do they see you investing in anyone who hasn’t been on their journey with Jesus as long as you?

The first followers of Jesus learned that they needed to stick together. They needed each other. They faced persecution like we probably will never face. They needed the strength to walk a dangerous road and that strength came from the encouragement of others who had actually been touched by the hand of God in human form. Our society may look different today. We don’t have to fear persecution for what we believe in a culture where we are taught that we need to believe whatever we feel like believing and do whatever feels good… HOWEVER… we still need the support of other believers. Why? Because we live in a culture where we are taught that we need to believe whatever we feel like believing and do whatever feels good! There is DANGER written all over that and we will fall if we try to go it alone.

God wants us to be strong… but didn’t design us to live in isolation. Our faith community is of critical importance. Accountability is crucial to our growth and development as followers. To whom are you accountable? Who is it that knows where you struggle? Where you are tempted to cross a line? As Christians, we sometimes think that we must be kind from a distance and not enter into the life of others. It’s their business, right? We really don’t want anyone in our business so why would we enter into theirs? Let me answer that for you; WE WERE MADE TO FUNTION AS A BODY.  An arm alone is not going to function well unless it is attached to the body… no matter how muscular it is. An eye with perfect vision is worthless rolling around on the floor. I know that sounds silly, but this is real stuff ! If you are not surrounding your family with a church where people walk the path together that Jesus has laid out for them; if you are keeping your faith walk separate from your work walk; if you are spending more time with friends who are not walking with Jesus than friends who are… You will become weak and powerless to fight the forces of evil that want nothing more than to destroy the Church, one person at a time.

Want to be a stronger Christian? Want your faith to increase? Want to be a good example for your kids? Start walking toward eternity with other followers of Jesus who will support you and challenge you to be the person God made you to be and the parent your kids need you to be.

How's Your Connection?

I am not a very tech savvy person. I don’t begin to understand the concept of a 4g network or how my proximity to a cell tower impacts my ability to carry on a conversation on my phone. All I know is that when I am talking to someone on the phone I have to have at least 3 towers in order to understand well what they are telling me and for them to hear my response. When that doesn’t happen, we accomplish nothing that we are trying to do or to communicate. 

When we are raising our kids in a godly manner, as I have stated in previous blogs, we are to be disciples that are making disciples right in our home. In order to be a disciple, I MUST be connected to God. I need a good connection so that there is open communication. I have to be in the Word learning who He is and about His plan. I have to spend time in meditation, listening for His Spirit to guide my decisions and my thoughts. I have to communicate with Him in prayer. If I am not doing all that I can to make that connection, then I am not going to be a good disciple and really not going to be making good disciples of my children.

At Mill Creek Church, our mission is to build disciples by helping them connect to God, people, purpose and compassion. I think this same process can be a roadmap for you as you disciple your children. But first and foremost, you must be connected to God. And, if you have a good connection with Him, you will find that you have begun to (1) connect to people… (2) to purpose…  (3) to compassion.  So as you commit to raising your kids in a godly home environment where they will find their way to God, maybe you can measure your connection to God by looking at those connections.

·         To whom are you most connected? Are your closest friends growing in their faith? Is their relationship with Jesus important to them? Are they helping you to be a better follower of Jesus? Are you helping them grow in their faith?

·         What is your purpose? There is more to life than going to work and trying to make it til payday. You have been given gifts and passions. How are you using them for God? Are you helping your kids find ways that they can use their gifts and passions to bring glory to God … or to themselves?

·         How do you measure up in the area of compassion? Where are you making sacrifices for those less fortunate? Do you have time to listen to those who need you? How are you serving with your family?

I have a very strong feeling that if your kids are not seeing you connecting and growing with other people of faith; if they are not seeing you use your gifts and talents for Jesus and His plan; if they are not seeing you reaching out and showing them how to minister to those less fortunate… they are not seeing that you are connected to God.

Connection to God doesn’t mean going to church.

Connection to God doesn’t mean you are a fan of Him.

Connection to God doesn’t mean that you have a sound moral compass.

Connection to God doesn’t mean that you have a few Bibles on the shelf that come down occasionally.

If you have a good connection, true communication happens. There is a strong understanding of God leading you. There is evidence of you following Him. A good connection with God will never leave you content with being the Sunday Christian that comes and does the church thing but is never transformed into the likeness of Christ. Connection with God means that you are becoming His disciple. Connection with God means that you are making disciples.

Get connected!