No Doubt

Do you ever wonder if God is real; if He is able to see you, hear you, or care about your circumstances? Do you ever feel like He is an impersonal Deity who doesn’t care about the details of your life?  We can all answer yes to these questions, is my guess. Why? Because we see God as a superhero and we are taught that God is LOVE, therefore, He should immediately come to our rescue and meet all our needs because that is how love is demonstrated, right?

Parents, you love your kids, but you know what happens if you always give them what they want when they want it, right? They just want more and more and they become difficult to live with and never learn coping skills or how to make the best of a situation where their perceived needs are not being immediately met. They may want things that are unsafe or unhealthy or that they are not mature enough to handle, yet. So we say “No” and teach them to accept our “No” as a gift of love because saying “Yes” would bring them harm, either immediately or eventually…. OR DO WE???

Here is a free parenting tip:  Don’t just say NO without explaining why. You want them to learn to reason right from wrong, not just memorize a list of “dos” and “don’ts.” If there isn’t time to explain, explain later. But always explain everything you can. That is the only way they will learn. They reach for the stove and you shout “NO!” They learn that you are angry when they reach for the stove, but they don’t learn that you love them and don’t want them to get burned unless you follow your “NO!” with an explanation. Got it?

Ok, back to the subject at hand…  I have had a few “No”s from God and a whole lot of “Wait”s.  I don’t like them. Especially because rarely is there an actual sense of Him communicating that to me. I have learned, however, that when God says nothing, either I am not listening or I have temporarily forgotten who He is. When I remember that He is indeed a good, good Father and I am loved by Him so much that He paid the ultimate price for me, I begin to deduce that I am in the waiting room for a good reason. And I may never know that reason. But it doesn’t matter, because He is in control and is certainly big enough to work things out according to His will.

Another analogy from parenting. On several occasions, one of our kids would not follow our instructions because she had a better plan. She never understood why that was a bad thing or why she had to endure the consequences because what she did, instead of what she was instructed to do, was an act of kindness and had a good outcome. True, she made someone happy, but she never attended to the responsibilities assigned to her and that created a whole other set of problems. My point is, doing good doesn’t mean we are listening and following God. It gives us the comfortable illusion that we are right where He wants us, and we miss what He really has for us. Be careful not to fall into that trap. “Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him and He will do it.” Psalm 37:5  What is “it?”  I don’t know, but it is better than what we do on our own.

Here is the bottom line. We want our kids to truly believe in and follow their Heavenly Father. We want them in Heaven with us someday. So teach them now about a good Father who cares about them enough to direct their path. Teach them by giving them direction; teaching them who God is; explain again and again the importance of listening and obeying you so that they learn to obey God, too. And most of all, draw closer and closer to Him now so that you are certain that you are on the path that He has ordained for you. Remember, it’s okay to wait or to not get what you asked God for because He is always right and always has a higher plan than what you or I can comprehend.

Believe and do not doubt that God’s plan is perfect and wait for Him to put things in order…. 

Even when it is really, really hard to do!

He’s got this!

Lessons From the Buffalo

Last week we traveled to Yellowstone for a wonderful family vacation. We spent every day traveling in a national park, enjoying the contrast from life at home in Indiana. One major difference was that in Yellowstone, unlike any other thoroughfare in this country (like Interstate 80 when we were trying to get home), when you come upon traffic that is stopped, it is a very good and enjoyable thing.  When you see a string of cars stopped along the road, you know you are about to witness wildlife you wouldn’t normally see. One bull elk grazing can stop traffic for a very long time and nobody gets angry. They just join in to observe this massive animal having his lunch.

While we traveled, we listened to a couple of sermons that we missed during our vacation. (You can listen to them at http://thecreekonline.net/media.php?pageID=5). Chris spoke of our need to be a part of the Church; not just a gathering of friends with similar beliefs; not just a social gathering; not just a place to make us feel good about ourselves as we sacrifice our Sunday brunch; but a place where we can encourage each other and hold each other accountable and strengthen each other as together we face the struggles life presents.

As I listened, I was reminded of one of those traffic stops in Yellowstone. There were a dozen or more Buffalo with their calves grazing alongside of the road and with all the traffic stopping for a photo op, they eventually took advantage of the opportunity to cross the road. It was awesome!

After they had all gotten across and the last photo was snapped, I looked at the tree line 400-500 yards from the road and I saw movement. Eventually I could see that it was a buffalo cow and her calf and they were running like mad to get back to the herd.  A buffalo can run 45 mph so it was pretty amazing to witness. They didn’t slow down and the baby stayed right at her heals until they rejoined the herd.

This is the time of year when calves are young and wolves prey upon them. A pack of wolves is no concern to a herd that can surround their young, but one lone cow would be hard pressed to protect her calf against a large herd of hungry wolves. She knew the importance of being with the herd in order to ensure that her calf was safe and able to reach adulthood.

So, I want to ask you, WHO IS YOUR HERD?  Are you keeping company with those who will help you be a stronger, better, more dedicated God follower?  Do you isolate yourself from others and just do your own thing? Your kids are watching and following closely at your heals. They look to you for protection. They stay close and observe and gravitate to the types of people they see you hanging with. Are you allowing the Church to speak into your life in a real and life changing manner? Or are your friends outside of the church the ones you prefer because you can relax and your language and behavior won’t matter?

Accountability and responsibility are an integral part of the life of all who desire to walk with Jesus. I encourage you to find that person who is not afraid to tell you when you are drifting. BE that person that is willing to warn a friend when you see them falling out of step with the One who saved them. Embrace the Church… not just the place you go on Sunday because that’s how you were raised… but the movement that was born 2,000 years ago, out of the need for those who believed in a risen Lord to support and encourage one another. We need each other. We are definitely better together… and safer, too!

Generosity

Sunday’s sermon was about living a life that allows you to give whatever God asks of you because you trust Him completely to provide. Living outside of what others would consider the safety zone, because God has called you to meet a need. It was a great reminder that God is our provider and that walking with Him will allow us to be generous in a way that others would deem unsafe.

How do we teach that kind of generosity to our kids? It is easy to think that we don’t really have enough to share because raising a family is expensive. Looking at the bills vs. the income often leaves us thinking that we need to work a full-time or a second job so that we have some wiggle room.  My advice (and I am pretending you want it) would be to learn to live on less rather than living less.

If you are a parent, you have a calling… a number one priority… a vocation that is more important than anything you can ever do. You are to shape the heart and direct the steps of your child so they will learn that following Jesus is the best thing they can ever do. Nobody else has been called to be the spiritual guide for your child. Not the church, not the grandparents, not the private school.  It is YOU that needs to fill that position to the very best of your ability. Maybe you can do that and work full-time. Maybe you know that you are more effective in parenting when you are working part-time. Maybe your kids need you to be a full time parent. This is something that you work out as a couple so that you know that you are investing your time in the most effective manner when it comes to raising your kids.

Here are three tips to give you more wiggle room financially so you don’t feel trapped into working more hours and sacrificing time with the kids. FIRST, take a hard look at what you have. Do you need it? Last week as I was dusting my “stuff” I thought, “I don’t need that and it brings me no particular joy or evokes no special memories” and into the garage sale pile it went.  SECOND, Look at your monthly expenses. I don’t like the magazines articles that boast of teaching you how to shave $$ of your monthly expenses. They typically instruct me to stop spending money on something I already don’t spend money on! But, there are ways to cut expenses if you stop thinking, “well that is only $7 a week.” Look at every expense as if it matters, because it does. If going to the store or shopping online causes you to see things you didn’t know you wanted until you saw it, then STOP shopping. Only go to the store when you have to and stick to what is on your list. THIRD, look in your trash can. What is going to waste? Are you cooking too much? Are you using disposable things that cost you more than reusable things? Don’t make, take or use more than you need.

I am not trying to solve all your financial issues.  I just want you to find the joy of living within your means so that you can truly live generously. It is the best way to raise kids that will not feel entitled and selfish. So don’t get sucked into thinking that earning more is the answer to being more generous. Being generous with your time is critically important when raising your family. Working more hours will rob you of that, so see if you can’t find ways to carefully spend by asking yourself, “What do I have that I don’t need? What do I spend unnecessarily? What do I waste?” And live on less rather than living less!