Childish Fears

When Paul, the famous Christian of the first century, was imprisoned awaiting a probable death sentence that would likely be a gruesome demise, he truly had every right to be filled with anxiety and fear. Sometimes what we know causes tremendous fear, but more often it is what we think that brings terror to our hearts.  The same is true for our children.

How many times have you checked under the bed to insure the coast is clear? How often have you waited until the kids were away to vacuum because they believe that the sound is a source of danger?  When thunder crashes, do you have a lap-full of terrified children who are convinced they won’t survive? How many dreams have become a reality in the mind of a child causing the entire household to forfeit a good night’s sleep?

All those fears are completely real to a child and must be addressed. Don’t dismiss it as nonsense. When you downplay the fear because it is childish, remember that you are talking to a child… Of course it is childish! There is no harm in a child behaving like a child, however, you must reveal the folly of fear. Deal with it by explaining that fear is coming from their thoughts and the only way to make it go away is to change the way they think.

Do what Paul did… 

1. Remind them that God is near (Philippians 4:5) and so are you and let them see and feel your love and compassion. Your exasperation with them will only cause them to stop bringing their fears to you. Suppressing them is not a healthy choice. 
2. Talk to God about your fear (Philippians 4:6) and ask Him to take it away.  
3. Begin to talk to God about all the things you are grateful for (Philippians 4:4, 6) and make the list as long as you can. You can never cover all the blessing God gives us daily so help them list His good and gracious gifts. 
4. Unveil the real truth (Philippians 4:8). Begin to replace the things they have believed with truth, like the vacuum being something that takes dirt and germs off the floor and the lightening putting nutrients into the soil so that we can have good, healthy food.

 The next time you get impatient with a child because their fears are ridiculous and unfounded, take a look at the fears that cripple you. They are no more real than your child’s fears in the eyes of the One who asks you to give Him all your anxiety in exchange for His peace.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:4-8

Connecting to Power

My dad, who I revere as a man who is closer to the heart of God than anyone I know, read my column last week. As he read about the importance of praying with your kids, letting them hear you pray, making it as natural as eating, he was reminded of his failure. He told me that he was always aware that praying for us, which was a constant thing for him, was not all he should be doing. He regrets that he didn’t let us hear him talking to God on our behalf.

As I listened to him speak I reflected back to all the times I saw him sitting on the edge of my bed, silent. I knew he was praying for me because I knew he was closely walking with God. His life reflected that he was a man who communed with God. When I grew up and had children I would catch him sitting on the edge of their bed as they napped and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was talking to his Father about his grandkids.

This was a huge reminder to me that we can voice prayers all day long for our children to hear, but it is truly the way we treat them and others, the way we react to difficult situations, the forgiveness that we show, the grace we extend, the kindness in our hearts that will let them know that we are a true friend of the Father.

Prayer is an invitation to be transported into the presence of the One who loves us and longs for us to allow His transformative power to work in our lives. Grasping the importance of quietly listening for Him to speak is a gift I would love to give all of you… in fact I would love to have a better handle on it, myself. Sometimes I feel guilty because I fall asleep talking to him; but I suppose that is better than not meeting with Him because I am too tired.

I am not an expert on prayer. Far from it! But I know there is power in connecting with the Maker of all things good. It is not just giving Him my list of needs, but time to be in His presence and sit quietly as He speaks to my spirit, allowing me the realization that I am the one He loved so much that He made a sacrifice I don’t even begin to grasp. Prayer is a gift you can give to your kids simply by allowing them to see just how important it is in your life.

When you are busy talking to your kids about God,

don’t forget the importance of talking to God about your kids.

Praying Parents

Recently I have been more and more mystified by the thought of prayer. After all, it is an open invitation to communicate with the One who created the stars and set the planets in place as well as designing every galaxy, known and unknown. That seems like a pretty big deal to me.

As parents, we make sure our kids get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny and wait a near eternity to sit on Santa’s lap because those guys are a pretty big deal to kids. Why? …because we have made them a big deal. Here is a valid question for each of us… How much do we make a big deal of sitting at the feet of the Creator of the universe?  Maybe our kids don’t value their connection with Him because we haven’t told them who He is. Possibly we have dropped the ball when it comes to showing them, by our example, that we can talk to Him about EVERYTHING any time we want!

Does it feel a bit awkward to you to pray with your kids? Most new things do feel awkward, like walking, eating solid foods, drinking from a cup, going potty in the toilet…. Need I go on?  If you expect to grow in your walk with the Lord, stop using the “awkward” excuse and start growing up in your faith! Talk to Jesus with your kids. About everything. He is the unseen member of your household. When He is brought into your conversations, they will likely take on a better complexion.

Let me help you get started …

In response to arguing kids… “God, you created us to love one another. Help our hearts to better understand how to love each other so we don’t fight.”

In response to the “gimme” phase… “God we know that the Bible tells us to be thankful. Help us to spend more time seeing what we have rather than seeing what we want so that we can live in an attitude of thankfulness.”

In response to fears… “God we know that fear comes from our minds so help us to crowd out the things that scare us by thinking about all the good things you have put in our lives, like puppies and kitties and…”

Ok, there is a start. When you learn to connect with God, it will become more and more natural for your kids to learn that connection. You aren’t imposing… remember what He suffered so that He can connect with us throughout eternity? TALK TO HIM!

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.”

James 5:13

“Pray continually!”

 1 Thessalonians 5:17

10 Things I Would Change... Birthday Musings

My birthday is this week. Kind of makes me think… “If I had it to do all over again….”  Have you ever uttered those words?  Here are 10 of the many things I would do differently.

1)      I would be more gentle to children who are just beginning a lifetime of learning how to make their way in the world and don’t really understand our grown-up rules or the reasons behind them.

2)      I would listen better – even to the unsaid words, because I know that my own emotions and background will distort what I am hearing and change the meaning from what the one speaking intended.

3)      I would create more beautiful things because as I take the time to do so I am transported to a higher plain and transformed by the creativity God has placed within me.

4)      I would have been a better student of the Word at an earlier age because I now know the wealth that is hidden in the pages to draw me into a closer relationship with the One who sees and knows all things.

5)      I would have exercised before I was in my fifties because I would have been much more help and had more fun with the strength and stamina I am just now realizing.

6)      I would have tried harder to speak the truth in love; gently confronting rather than being the one who accommodates others just to keep the peace and in the end, sends the message that undesirable behaviors are acceptable.

7)      I would have prayed and waited more and manipulated less, because altering things to get what you think you need takes away the opportunity to see God bless you beyond your wildest dreams.

8)      I would have spent more on things that would keep me organized and less on things that need to be organized so I’d have less of what I don’t need and more to share with others.

9)      I would have spent less time and energy trying to impress God and more time sitting in His presence, learning who He created me to be and what He really wants me to do.

10)  I would live in joyful expectation, praising God more… panicking less.

May YOU learn to have a richer life, earlier, by considering what you need to change NOW so there are no regrets later! No time like the present!

Now, let’s go eat some ice cream!

“I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the full.”

John 10:10