Restoring the Original Beauty

Currently, my husband, Dana, and I are working to rescue an old side table I retrieved from a burn pile. It had a chunk out of the top so had to be cut shorter and the edges re-routered (is that a word?) and now we are stripping and sanding, and sanding, and sanding. It's a lot of work! It takes so much pressure to scrape decades old paint off. But, that paint is nothing but a build up of ugly! When it is gone, it will be a beautiful piece of furniture. 

As I reflected on Jesus admonition to "love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, your soul, your MIND and your strength, I thought of all the times our thoughts make a mess of things with layers of lies we have believed and a distorted perspective that has buried the truth of who God created us to be. As I reflect on all the build up  of lies I have believed I realize I may need to undergo some serious transformation. The parts of me that are broken must be restored, re-edged, stripped away and sanded down to bring me back to my original beauty. Sounds uncomfortable, at best, which is probably why we are so averse to any type of transformation in our lives.

Thoughts are very powerful and can turn the trajectory of our lives. What we think determines how we feel and what we feel determines how we react and behave and that has the power to make or break our  relationships and directly impact the degree of joy we find in life. God wants to help you sharpen your mind by focusing on what is good and true and that requires sanding off the build up of bias, unforgiveness, anger, resentment, envy, pain, and lies that have made a mess of your mind. It takes work. Adding a coat of paint to disguise the problem is easier, but ultimately makes our issues worse.

If you want to find lasting beauty in life, you have to invest some time and perhaps some pressure to find out who you are at the core, without all those layers of confusion and false identity. In the end, you will see that life is so much more abundantly joyful when you find the "you" that has been hidden. The "you" God created with a purpose. The "you" that is His masterpiece.  It's amazing how the transformation of our thoughts can help us see the beauty in ourselves and others, too.

PARENT POINT...  It's a far better plan to sand away your own issues than to attack others with a sander. That isn't your job and they won't like it...however, if it is your child, it IS your job to gently clear away the things that you realize are hiding the beauty God created in them. Selfishness, disrespect, envy, arrogance, dishonesty. The world will be hard at work adding those layers, so be attentive and don't let them build up and dry there. If you address them immediately, they can be wiped away while they are still wet and abrasion is unnecessary. These are called the teachable moments. In a child's eyes, every misbehavior that you permit, you promote and it will continue and require some painful sanding down the road. Instead, point them to the beauty that God placed inside them and help them develop that into maturity.

The Power To Rise

Sunday, Chris taught us the Hebrew term "nephesh" and how we translate it to "soul" in English, then transform its meaning to a mystical, shapeless, mist where God resides inside of us, then takes it away to heaven when we die. He explained to us that the literal translation of this word is not that we have a soul, but we are a soul. Our entire being is a home for the Spirit of God to set up His headquarters and begin the transformation process. Since Sunday, I just keep envisioning God in the garden, with this perfect specimen of humanity, lying limp and lifeless until he breathed "nephesh" into him and am reminded how it is what is within us that makes us His image. A great reminder in a culture where we put so much emphasis on what people will see on the outside. 

Have you ever seen a potter throw a lump of wet clay on her wheel and watched it become a vessel as she forms a hollowness inside?  Or a glass blower who takes molten sand and breathes into it an empty place so it can become a lovely vase? No two are exactly alike. All have a void designed to hold something, but each cavity is different. The power to be what we were meant to be comes from inside. Consider the hot air balloon. As beautiful as they appear, they are nothing but a lot of fabric without the air that is breathed into them.

What a beautiful reminder that God has breathed into us an empty space that only He can truly fill. It is who we are from day one. We need the power of His spirit within that space to function as we were intended. Our family, our culture, our environment works to shape us by filling the God-breathed vessel within us with what they think is best, but there is something deep inside us that still feels unfulfilled. We spend much of our lives trying to be like someone we admire or respect or is successful and lose sight of the person we were intended to be. And emptiness plagues us.

That emptiness, that pain, that longing has a great and Divine purpose. "That thing that we daily battle is the suffering brought on by our separation from God and when His grace meets our suffering - that is where transformation begins" (Russ Hudson). This message resonated so much with me! It is the reason I have chosen to be an Enneagram Coach and dedicate my life to finding my truest self and helping others to do the same. I have a burning desire to guide others to the life God breathed into them and live that life in all its fullness. That is the way that I can best minister to families, create healthier homes with children that will grow to become game changers in our communities.

Think about who you truly are in the deepest place. Think about your children and how you are guiding them to fill the "nephesh" that God breathed into them. Think about your spouse and their deepest needs and longings. Pray for God to illuminate your mind and heart to see your true soul, through His eyes. That's a lot of thinking and praying, but it can lead to a freedom to live your real life and help those you love live theirs. 

All In

Keeping in mind that kids are constantly observing, but not always interpreting what they see and hear accurately, suppose I asked your kids, what is the most important commitment in the life of your parents? In what area would you say they are "all in." What do you see them doing, without fail, on a regular basis? If taken away, what would be the most upsetting activity to lose? How do you suppose they would respond? Reading their Bible/Devotional? Mom's morning coffee? Dad's beer after work? Sunday worship? A cleaning ritual? Teaching us what it means to be like Jesus? Impressing other people by the way we look and behave? A hobby? Working out? Social Media? Family time doing fun things? Climbing the corporate ladder? Vegging in front of the TV? Attending/coaching all my sports events? Working?

Jesus taught that the most important thing we can ever commit to is loving God from the deepest part of our being. That place that others can't see, formed within us to be keep us connected to God. That place where we feel a craving, a need, a longing, a desire that begs to be filled. It is the place from which good fruit grows when good seeds are planted and cultivated. Fruit that can sustain you and your family during difficult times. Like, let's say.... a pandemic. Has your love and commitment to Jesus been demonstrated in your reaction to the pandemic? Have you demonstrated grace or criticism? Have you experienced spiritual growth and a closer walk with Jesus? Has it brought out your political claws, your judgment of others, your fears? Have you found yourself showing patience and love to others, no matter which side of an issue they land on?

Loving God with all your heart was commanded by God in the beginning because He knew that was the very cure for all the "infections" a broken world would bring. When we discover that we aren't really "all in" in our commitment to love Him, we need to take a look at what might have taken up residence on the throne in our heart that was designed for Him and get rid of that false god. We need the Creator of our life there so our growth can continue and our love for Him can flourish. 

Let's be real. We are all pulled a hundred directions at once, and everything looks important to us. What is it that has your primary attention? Upon what foundation are all your important decisions based? If we love God with all we have, then all those other things will fall into place or fall away. I want to get it right. I want God to be first in my life and I want that to be reflected in all my decisions. The lasting memory I want my kids and grand kids to have of me is that I was "all in" for Jesus and without Him, I was nothing at all. As my Dad said, "The message at my funeral is not my valor and accomplishments, but God's love and grace." He had learned the meaning of being "all in" in his relationship with Jesus. May it be so of us, as well.

Chalkboard Parenting

I was the kid in fourth grade that always wanted to stay after school to clean the chalk boards. Remember those? It's what they used before white boards. Fortunately our kids will know about these archaic teaching tools because someone has designed Chalk paint so we can make anything look like the dusty, unhealthy, teaching tool that made a horrific sound when the chalk wasn't held the proper way.

I loved getting it clean but it never stayed that way.  Every day there would be more information added that needed to be wiped off so even more information could be added the next day. EXCEPT when the Mrs. Geller would write in big cursive letters, Save. For a day or a week, they were important and could not be erased, probably because it was something we were struggling to learn.

Your child's mind is like that chalk board. There are things that go on it that need to be erased. Some because they never should have heard or seen it. Some because they have it mastered and more space is needed for new things. Some things need to be circled and marked, Save. because they are important and worth teaching again and again. 

The most important thing in the saved circle should be, You are loved, no matter what. Kids need to know that they are not their actions. They are a priceless creation made by God for a purpose. I would encourage you to sit down and come up with some non-negotiables that you want your kids to commit to memory. Things that will shape their character. Things that should be written and saved in their hearts.

They will see many things in their childhood. They will remember things with a skewed childish perspective. They will learn to challenge and disobey and be disrespectful. And you have the eraser. The only way you will be able to fill their minds and hearts with what is good and right and noble is if you take the time to erase they things that harm. Keep your eyes open and notice when a word or action is inappropriate and know that bad information has been written that must be erased. Explain to them why and then write what is good and loving on the chalkboard of their hearts. No need to yell it unless you want to be as obnoxious as fingernails on a chalkboard. Just speak the truth in love and keep their chalkboard full of truth that can be saved within them always.