Gay, Yet Godly

I recently read a blog written by a father/pastor promising to love his kids unconditionally should they be born gay.  God's love is unconditional and we are commanded to be like Him, therefore… no matter how our children are born, or anyone else’s children, we who follow after Him must love them unconditionally. There is much good in what he says, but something vital is missing. 

People are born in a variety of ways that were not by His design, yet He allows it and desires that whatever our circumstance, we use it to draw closer to Him. We are not just called to be like Him in love, but in all things we are to be holy. Set apart from the ways of the world. Answering to a higher calling. Pure and blameless. We, who follow Jesus, must strive to be like Him, trusting His grace to cover our often feeble attempts.

God’s design is for us is to walk and talk with Him, to listen and follow Him so that He can protect us from the Evil that lures us away from Him into a painful, Godless existence. Reading the story of Eden reminds us of the danger of listening to a voice that says, “You will not die if you partake of the forbidden fruit.” His heart’s desire is that we will not listen to the lies that lead us down a path of pain and separation from Him and His perfect plan for our flawed minds, spirits and bodies.  

I have seen the pain of those who chose to give in to the desires of the flesh rather than follow God. I have seen the struggles of those who choose God over the desires of the flesh. I see the loneliness and isolation that my loved ones in the gay community face. But I have also seen victory in the lives of those who have fought against the temptation to live to satisfy the flesh and have found joy and peace as they seek the path to which God has called them.  

A child is not responsible for how they are born, but they will become responsible for how they deal with it. If my child is born gay, or with a horrid temper, mental illness, Downs syndrome, learning disabilities, autism, addiction disorder… I will love them unconditionally and I will not condemn them, and I will teach them how God desires us to rise above our physical, mental and emotional challenges and follow Him. I will pray that they will seek God with everything in them so that they can live as He planned... a pure and holy life.  

"Lord, just as you healed the lame man, telling him to take up his mat and walk, remind us that we are to pick up all the reminders of our imperfect birth status and walk toward You where we will find peace and joy. You never intended for any of us to remain in the sinful state to which we were born, but to seek You and the holy life you offer to those who will listen and obey and walk in the glory of your transforming power. Help us not to look at the lives of others with a critical spirit, but to look in the mirror and seek healing from the behaviors and attitudes that do not reflect your beauty and holiness."

Time For A Change

We have all heard it said that too often ‘Christians’ are known for what they are against more than what they are for. I wonder if the same could be said of parents.  Do the kids know what dad adores about mom or just what annoys him? Do they know how much mom looks forward to dad coming home from work, or do they note the heavy sigh when he walks in the door? Do the kids know how valuable they are to you or do they only know what will get them in big trouble if they get caught?

It is a big deal when people represent the Church or Christianity and are not doing a good job of reflecting Christ in the community, but how tragic it is for our children when we are claiming to follow Jesus and exhibit not the first sign of being transformed into the likeness of Christ at home. Angry words; no words; no evidence of communication with God; rules without relationship; harshness over-riding grace. Why would this atmosphere in our homes direct our kids to follow Jesus?

You will never be a perfect parent or spouse. Perfection is outside of our grasp. But are you on the journey with our family toward a perfect God? We all need Divine transformation. What does that look like? Take a look at Galatians 5:22-26

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control… Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.

Home is where we tend to let down our guard and relax, but the battle between good and evil has no down time. If you are not intentional about submitting to the transforming power of God at home, evil triumphs and the family suffers.

As you watch the leaves change this month, seek change in yourself. As the leaves begin to fall, be reminded of some of the habits and attitudes that don’t look like Jesus; things you need to let fall. Let’s commit to making changes in how we treat the ones for whom you are most responsible… the ones God has given us to love, cherish, honor and respect... our family.

Next Steps For Leading In Our Homes

Michelle Anthony, a woman with a passion for helping parents guide their kids to loving Jesus, says “It’s not about being or becoming a perfect family, it’s about being on the journey together to know and follow a perfect God.” Is it time for you to begin that journey? Is it time for you to get back to it? If you aren’t closer to Jesus now that you were a year ago, you aren’t on a journey. You are sitting still, content with the life YOU can make instead of discovering the REAL life God can make.

God’s blessings often go uncollected because we sit contentedly right where we are, never taking the next step. For parents who takes serious their role as spiritual guide for their kids, here are some suggestions for “next steps.”

·         Read Bible Stories to them and learn together. My favorite is Egermeier’s Bible Story Book. It takes you through the Bible chronologically and each story takes less than 5 minutes to read. There are 4-5 questions to ask the kids at the end so they can show that they listened well.

·         Pray with them. Let them know that you talk to God on their behalf. (i.e. “God thank you for making Johnny my son. Help me to be a good dad/mom and help him to grow up learning how to be more like you.”)

·         Say a blessing over them. (i.e. “May God’s blessing be upon you at school, helping you to make good choices and listen well)

·         Make Church attendance a priority so that they know there is a larger “family” of God followers on the journey with them

·         Be on mission together, looking for ways to serve the less fortunate

·         Say a simple prayer with them when you see or hear an ambulance. (i.e. “Jesus bring courage and healing and help to whoever is in need right now and keep all the helpers safe.”)

This isn’t new. God’s desire from ancient times was that we share our faith with our kids. Are you in? Do you have your next steps mapped out? Where is God calling you to lead in your home?

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 niv

Don't Scrooge Your Kids!

"A Christmas Carol" is one of my favorite Christmas stories. It takes Ebenezer Scrooge on a journey that enlightens him to the suffering he has caused by failing to ever consider the feelings of others. It makes me wonder what difference it would make if we could peek into the future and see the outcome of our failure to meet the spiritual and emotional needs of our kids. Are we helping them to know they are valued and loved unconditionally?

If yours is a normal home, the focus is likely on putting food on the table, completing homework, giving baths and falling into bed, exhausted after a long day at work. Would there be a difference in how you accomplished all the things that need to be done if you could actually see the long term impact of your tone, your attitude, your words? Would there be more gentleness and patience? Would you take the time to listen to their questions and try to see things from their perspective rather than forcing your perspective onto them? Would you applaud their uniqueness and bring a lighthearted joy to them rather than trying to force them to be like you... or like other kids?

This week, make their world better. Let God open your eyes to the tenderness of their hearts. They are not small adults. They are children who look to their parents to determine their worth and value at home, at school and to the God that you desire them to follow. If you are treating them with anger, impatience and indignation, they are finding themselves to be worthless. They need your best. You can try really hard and be a good parent, but if you want to be a great parent, you need help from the One who loves you... and them...more than any of us deserve!

Lord, help us to know just how important it is to shape the heart of our children with tenderness and understanding. Help us to value them as You do. Remind us that the way they feel affects the way they behave and we have the power to alter those feelings by treating them with love, dignity and respect.