Singing in the Rain

What happens in your mind when everything in life feels like it is crushing in on you and there is no Calgon available to whisk you away to where life is stress free, flowers are blooming, birds are singing and a cool breeze blows across your smiling face? I'm guessing your first thought isn't about how much you are loved by God. More than likely it's more like wondering why He has abandoned you in your time of need. Unfortunately, these thoughts are the default setting for many of us and they lead us down a short path to self-pity which is not even in the same hemisphere with reality.

Like King David reflects, in Psalm 13, we can easily find ourselves feeling rejected in the tough times. However, if you read to the end of his lament you find him zeroing in on the reality of God's undying love for him. Because David learned to live his life on a foundation of what is true, he was able to sing praise to God. The truth that sustained him was that God's love is enough ... no matter my circumstances.

At the risk of dating myself, it makes me think of a Gene Kelly song...

"I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's (Son's) in my heart
And I'm ready for love..."

It is a glorious feeling to be able to sing in the rain. Do you have any idea how much your ability to sing God's praise impacts the atmosphere in your home; how much influence your reaction to adversity has on your children? But being able to sing in the rain isn't just an ability to have a positive outlook. It is a foundational belief that God is good and that His plan for me is right, and I can trust Him and sing His praise even when life makes no sense at all.

Imagine the atmosphere your kids can grow up in, listening as you play songs of praise, singing along with a thankful heart even when life is hard. Imagine the trust they could develop in an unseen God because they hear you praising Him in the storm. Imagine them knowing that the storms in life are not something to fear but something to cherish because they draw us closer to the One who is shaping our hearts.

Tune your stereo to a station that plays music by Christian artists and learn the songs. They will come to you when you need them. Buy CDs for your kids that teach them songs they can sing to praise God for who He is. Music is a powerful tool that connects our heart to God. Use it!

"I will trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because You have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me."

Living Generously

05202015 Bringing it home

Recently a young man told me, “Money is my new life. Without it I cannot have a car to get me to a job so that I can live. From now on I will keep everything I earn so I will never be in this situation again.” Another young mother lamented the fact that she had to leave her children with a sitter that recently invited her abusive boyfriend to live with her. She couldn’t afford a better sitter and she couldn’t afford to quit her job or take time off to look for a better situation. In our culture it is easy to learn that money is the source of happiness and the most desirable acquisition possible. As adults, we know that we need money to survive in our society. However, how is that translating to your children? Are they getting the impression that earning money is important thing in life? Is acquiring “things” what will bring happiness?

In his book, Unlacing The Heart, Henry Freeman tells about leaving his position as V.P. of Earlham College to spend 12 months in an orphanage in war-torn El Salvador simply to love on the children there. Out of that experience he states, “Perhaps the most important thing I have learned is that happiness is found when our search for it is abandoned. Indeed, for most of us, happiness sits on the other side of our walls waiting patiently for us to open our doors to the joy and pain of the world around us.”   Good American parents tend to make our children the center of our lives. We provide them with all they need and top it off with all we wanted as kids but didn’t receive and throw in some excess just because we ‘love’ them and want to show it.  The result of our ample provision for them seems to be an epidemic of entitlement and a much longer wish list. How will they learn what is on the other side of “our walls” if all they care about is self?

Dad and Mom, it is your responsibility to open the windows to the world for your children. If they become more outwardly focused and less self-centered it will be because YOU showed them how to give to others; sometimes out of your wealth and sometimes out of your need. Don’t take lightly Jesus last words to his followers to “Go into all the world…”  When you open the eyes of your children to the needs of children around the world they can learn to be givers, not takers.

I know how fun it is to get gifts for your children… I am a grandma! That makes it even more fun! But take a look at their bedroom? How many days a week is it difficult to find a path through because of all the toys and clothes and shoes they possess? Do they really NEED all of that? Why are we making that the norm? It is a very difficult habit to feed and our consumption ends up consuming us.

Did you know that:

for the price of 2 kids meals a month you can feed a child for the entire month https://www.fmsc.org/

for the price of an average legos set you can sponsor a child for a month http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/

for about the cost of downloading Minecraft on your device you can purchase 10 chicks that will grow to provide daily protein for a starving family http://horizoninternationalinc.com/give-hope/gift-catalog/animal-husbandry.html

It seems quite a natural thing to compare ourselves to others. Why not open their eyes to the disparity between what they have and what the majority of children in other countries have? That is a comparison that just may grow them into compassionate givers who will change our world. Our kids will make the difference. What difference are we coaching them to make? Watch this video and see the difference one child who looked outside of himself is making in the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acK2aQp5-zM

“People who want to get rich are tempted. They fall into a trap. They are tripped up by wanting many foolish and harmful things. Those who live like that are dragged down by what they do. They are destroyed and die. Love for money causes all kinds of evil. Some people want to get rich. They have wandered away from the faith. They have wounded themselves with many sorrows…Command people who are rich in this world not to be proud. Tell them not to put their hope in riches. Wealth is so uncertain. Command those who are rich to put their hope in God. He richly provides us with everything to enjoy. Command the rich to do what is good. Tell them to be rich in doing good things. They must give freely. They must be willing to share. In that way they will put riches away for themselves. It will provide a firm basis for the next life. Then they will take hold of the life that really is life.”

1 Timothy 6:9-10, 17-19

Combat the Bully

There is a big bully out there and he is after the hearts of your children. He will not stop trying to manipulate their thoughts, coax them towards danger and leave them disoriented and feeling abandoned. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to safeguard them against such bullying. You can’t keep them in a bubble because he will penetrate that bubble. You can’t defeat him alone, because he is a powerful adversary. Your task is to enlighten them to his methods and tactics and to strengthen them against his attacks.

The first step is to teach them who they are, that they were made in the image of God to reflect His greatness, that they have a divinely appointed purpose and help is available to get them to accomplish that purpose. When we know to whom we belong, we can stand up and say, “Stop! I am walking with the King of Kings and I am surrounded by His army of angels who will protect me from your lies and deceit!”  Teach them Ephesians 2:10 so that from a very early age they know that they are truly God’s “masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do great things that he prepared for us long ago.” It’s true! When God made them He aligned their gifts and passions with the plan that was already in place. If the Bully can convince them that they have no purpose, then God’s plan will not be fulfilled in them. Tell them often that you are glad for the special qualities that God has given them. Let them know that you are anxious for them to follow God so that you can discover together what God has planned for them.

Next, as in all areas of parenting, remain consistent with the message. They can’t believe that they are a masterpiece one day and a hopeless failure the next. It is right to address and correct the bad behaviors, but in a way that steers them back onto the path of right living. Determine the non-negotiables and stick to it. Parenting is a wearying job, but don’t give up or back down when it comes to shaping the heart of your child. Watch closely what they use to fill the God shaped void inside of them. Use language in your home that directs them to God as the answer to everything they are facing. Sound weird? Well, it won’t get easier if you wait so dive right in to the Word and see what Scripture has to say about willfulness, disobedience, arrogance, selfishness and all the other things that the Bully tries to coax them into establishing as the “norm” in their little hearts. Share this information with them. You have the Manual and it is neglectful to let them flounder when you have access to the answers in that big Book. Surround yourself with others who have been students of the Bible for longer and glean wisdom from them. 

Finally, pray for your children throughout the day. Also, pray that God will give you the wisdom to see the stealthy attacks of Satan, the chief bully. Pray for strength to stand against him and for more Christlikeness in yourself so the kids have a great role model to follow.  Know that there really are unseen powers fighting on behalf of your family so don’t fall into despair at the enormity of the task. God is faithful and will be walking with you on this journey.

Maybe you have been convinced that you are less than enough or that you can never be a spiritual guide for your children because you are a hot mess yourself. That is the Bully talking. You, too, are a masterpiece and God has a plan for you. Growing with your children is a great thing. Read Bible stories to them and learn with them. Read the Bible daily. Make prayer and meditation something that is natural by practicing it regularly. Don’t settle for being better than “so-and-so” but be who God created you to be. Nothing less will do!

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father,

may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation,

so that you may know him better.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened

 in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you,

the riches of his glorious inheritance…

and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”

Ephesians 1:17-19

Cement Shoes

Entering into a relationship with guilt weighing you down is like trying to survive a shipwreck while wearing cement shoes. Marriages frequently fail when there is unconfessed sin weighing down one or both partners. Then when kids enter the picture, disaster looms as parents attempt to control everything so that their kids never miss the mark like they did. Though I believe it is important for parents to have control of many things in the lives of their children, when the focus is on control rather than on the child it becomes apparent that they are leading in fear, rather than faith.

Often times in scripture people are compared to sheep and God is the Good Shepherd. In Psalm 23 David speaks of the shepherds rod and staff bringing comfort. Why? Because they were used, not just for discipline, but to guide and direct the sheep toward what was good and pull them away from danger. Keep a keen eye on where your children are and where they are headed. Continually direct them toward what is healthy, godly and right. If you want them to follow after God then you must be continually pointing them to Him.

Parenting is truly a full time job and you must be ready at all times to respond quickly to the behaviors that indicate a rebellious and unkind spirit is developing in them. React in love and respond with direction and explanation that is age appropriate. Just saying “NO!” or “Stop!” falls short of teaching them the reason we choose well is because God is our Leader and His Word teaches us His ways.

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In the process of watching the wrong doing of your child drive a wedge in their relationships, take a look at your own heart and allow God’s Spirit to shine a light into the wrong of your past and reveal to you what needs to be confessed so that your relationships can find healing. We all have things in our lives that we are ashamed of. We all fall short of where we know God wants us to be, but true repentance goes a long way in healing our relationship …. Not just with God, but with others because it no longer weighs us down. Seek God’s forgiveness and accept it. Satan will be your accuser, making you feel like you are worthless. But the fact is, you are worth so much to God that He was willing to pay the ultimate price for your forgiveness.

Take off those cement shoes and see life and love and relationships in a whole new way! Learn a lesson from King David…

“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long…

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself,

‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’

And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone!”

From Psalm 32