Stay the Course!

I think one of the universal flaws of human nature is the inability to stick to a commitment. It doesn’t seem to matter if you are a God follower or not. We just lack the drive to see things through to the end. Our intentions are good, but our resolve… not so much.  The doctor recently put me on a special diet for better digestive health. I looked at it and thought, “this will be a breeze since I rarely eat the things that are forbidden.” Well, a week and a half into it and I want all those things that I can’t have. Apples, broccoli, bread (believe it or not, I am NOT a bread person and now I want toast all day long!).

It isn’t just diets we struggle to stick with. How many times have we vowed to exercise, read the Bible, be consistent with our kids, get better rest, establish a healthier routine, drink more water and less (fill in the blank) and then drop the ball? Even the things that come easy often fall by the wayside. Is it because Satan doesn’t want us to succeed so he plants temptation on our path? Do we sabotage ourselves?

If you are raising kids you have likely read or heard a gazillion times that you have to stay the course and you can’t give up just because it is difficult. Kids are kind of high maintenance. They have to be fed regularly, dressed appropriately, trained properly, disciplined effectively and taught correctly. Any one of those things can overwhelm us on a given day… especially if you are one of those free-spirited people for whom routines feel like torture.

This whole subject takes me back to New Testament days when the Pharisees were all bogged down with following all the dos and don’ts and lost site of the reason why they had been given any commandments in the first place. Jesus boiled their rule following issues down to 2 things…

Make God your #1 priority

Love others… honoring them above yourself

Jesus said if you do these two things, everything else will fall into place. Pretty sure the same thing is true in parenting. When we make God our #1 priority and really focus on following Him, the things that aren’t so important fall away. We don’t get wrapped up in the things that are merely things, but keep our feet on the path that brings us closer to Him. Maybe, just maybe, the exhaustion from our hectic schedules would subside and we would better know how to order our days if Jesus was writing our agenda.

And all those tedious tasks that we do as parents? What if we knew that Jesus was standing there beside us cheering us on? He is, you know. He knows how hard it is to make sacrifices… since He IS our sacrifice. Practice loving and praying for your kids as you help with homework, clean under beds, brush hair, do laundry…  Remember that you are doing what the Lord asks, loving without reservation (and without reciprocation on many occasions). That is just what love looks like when you are a parent.

Keep up the good work! Follow and love Jesus with all your heart and you will learn to show the love that your kids need to learn as a pattern for their lives. 

A Dangerous Trap

Did you ever try to purge toys from your children’s room while they were present? Typically, the things they never play with suddenly become something they couldn’t possibly live without. That’s why we do it when they are not home. We aren’t much different, though. We really don’t like to give things up. We hang on to clothes we don’t wear and tools we don’t use. The doctor tells us to give up certain foods and suddenly we are craving them like never before. There is just something about being told we must surrender that makes us want to hang on.

When Jesus told the disciples of his imminent crucifixion He was ready to surrender. Then one of the disciples rushes in and tells Jesus that’s a bad plan. Jesus response? He realized that he had to stop that nonsense of man’s plan verses God’s plan and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” (Matthew 16:23-25).

It seems ridiculous to think that a decent parent would choose for their child to follow the way of Satan over the way of Jesus, BUT as you look at what Jesus is saying, he isn’t talking about some heinous, vulgar, disgusting demonic way of life that is the way of Satan. He is saying that Satan’s trap is purely the “human point of view.” We must realize that our own thinking is often self-centered, self-righteous and self-absorbed so that we can say as Jesus said, “get behind me Satan” and move toward the selfless, God-centered life. If we are not willing to take that step, we are basically – albeit unintentionally, inviting our children to the path Satan wants us all to follow… seeking what we want without consideration of what God wants.

These are tough words to write. Tough words to read. Tough words to live by. But since when is taking up the cross of Christ, symbolizing failure to the world, easy? Just remember; what the world sees as failure, heaven sees as victory. By whom will you be defined?

I pray that you will choose to surround yourself with godly friends that will call you out when you are living life with a “human point of view” and direct you back to the surrender that leads to a godly way of thinking and living. Your friends who are not serving the Lord Jesus may help you make good choices, but they will never be able to point you to taking up the cross Jesus speaks of if they haven’t done the same. Choose your friends wisely. Your children’s faith may very well depend on it.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."   Jim Elliot

Balancing Biblical Teaching at Home

Recently I have begun exploring new curriculum to see it there is something out there that does a better job of helping teach our children the truth of scripture more appropriately, effectively applying it to life. Why? Because what your children are learning in the formative years will be the memories they carry into adulthood; the foundation upon which they will build their beliefs and values. But, teaching the Truth found in the Bible is not something to save for those who teach your children on Sunday. There is so much that you can teach them as you are reading the Bible and learning new insights yourself.

One challenging part of scripture they must learn as they grow is that following Jesus is not a ticket to jolly good times here. In Matthew 10 Jesus warned His followers that there would be struggles, trials, persecution, separation from friends and family, flogging, imprisonment and even death. Teaching that alone wouldn’t convince anyone to follow Jesus, but what a beautiful way to deal with the betrayals that lead to broken hearts or the injustice they begin to realize as they grow. That isn't the end of the story because He goes on to say, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul…” (v 28) Jesus knows our pain and promises that all those wrongs are seen by God (v 26). That is what truly matters because He is the Judge. Here is another challenge for parents who want to charge in and right all the injustice or demolish all the fears our kids experience. We must work to find balance in giving comfort when they have been wronged or face fears and teaching them that Jesus is our Comfort and it is to Him we must learn to run in times of stress. Most adults haven’t even learned that lesson well!

Another thing we learn in this passage is; Children must be aware of the enemy of their soul. I have witnessed many children discussing the failures of teens and adults and saying, with resolve, “I am never going to do that!” Then I watch them grow into young adults who are making the same choices and walking the same path they vowed never to tread. When Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul,” he followed it with, “Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (vs 28). Another balancing act in parenting is not over-spiritualizing normal childish behavior, all the while making them aware that there is an enemy of their soul who will stop at nothing to get them off the right path. Kids do a lot of things wrong because they don’t always know the right direction to go. They legitimately forget because their minds are very busy learning and developing. You need to deal with blatant defiance because it leads to an ongoing pattern of disrespect for authority; however, not every infraction is punishable. Many of their errors, even if they have happened more than once, need to be teachable moments. You have the opportunity to teach them why it is wrong and instruct them in the way they should have behaved and the consequences of both actions. Then you have to determine how many times you teach before you have to react with negative consequences.

Parenting is the most challenging and the most important job you will ever do. Don’t try this alone. There is One who walks beside you. Listen and Obey. Stay focused on His Word so that you can direct the children as He directs you. 

What's Holding You Back?

As a young teenager I remember the fear I felt in following Jesus. I had read in Luke 9 about the things that you have to do to be a committed follower and I didn’t think I was made of the right stuff to make it work. Here is what Jesus said to those He compelled to follow Him, what I heard and what I truly needed to hear:

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus…	v. 58 “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”	I will likely be homeless, living in a straw hut being preyed upon by cannibals

What He was likely, truly saying was… Are you serious about following me? Because it could very well mean giving up your comfortable life so that you can be a blessing to those in need. It means being willing to step out in faith, before you have an iron-clad plan in place, complete with a fail-safe itinerary.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus, but first there are things that have to be in place…I need to go back and bury my father when he dies.	v. 60 “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”	You have to stop caring about the family that loves you, get out of your comfort zone completely and do the most difficult thing you can imagine… public speaking to a hostile crowd about something I don’t even fully understand myself!

Since He always seemed to know what people were feeling or scheming, maybe what he really meant was… Your security is not in your inheritance from your earthly father. Waiting until you have a cushion to fall back on means that your commitment is based on what you think you can do on your own, without the need to depend fully on Him. So, “If Jesus isn’t the real deal, at least I have other options.” Or maybe it means you are focused on what you can gain rather than what you think you can give. That isn’t commitment; that is merely adventure seeking. The inheritance we receive from our Heavenly Father is truly all that matters. It’s just hard to focus on something that we don’t fully understand rather than what our culture has taught us to understand; that our security lies in our own well-ordered plan for our future.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I will follow just as soon as I go back and say goodbye to my family (and maybe they will bring me to my senses and remind me that my commitment is first to them!) parenthetical thoughts are purely mine.	v. 62 “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”	I am worthless if I don’t have a huge amount of faith so that I never question anything, but push aside my loved ones and follow God into the unknown

Jesus always wants us to look at the BIG picture. What we do here in our own homes, with our own families, is essentially worthless in light of eternity if we keep putting them first, catering to their wishes, their schedules, their agenda, all the while we are pushing God to the background. Our priorities are not according to His plan if we keep waiting until we are finished raising our family, establishing a career and preparing for our retirement before we commit to following Him wholeheartedly. Every time we look back at what the world is doing, rather than looking forward to what God calls us to do, we become ineffective and wander off course. We will never get to the plan that He hand-crafted for each of us if we don’t keep our eyes on Him and His path.

I am not so far removed from raising a family that I don’t recall the busy schedules and the tight budgets and the enormous to-do list that goes with it. I get it…. Really! But being on the far side of raising my family, it is so much easier to see how often I forfeited what really mattered in the light of eternity for my list, my calendar, my well calculated plan. And I wish there could be “Do-overs.” Just like you, I am a work in process. But if I could make one of those commercials we see all the time lately, mine would say… “Don’t be the busy me whose focus is this life, this planet, this day. Be the new me, seeing the big picture of eternity and truly follow Jesus so your kids will learn to follow Him, not a schedule.”

Raising Disciples

It is a huge task to raise a human being well, shaping them to reflect the God that made them to bring honor to His name. Though Jesus didn’t raise a family, he did shape the lives of his followers, and He didn’t get to start from scratch so He had to re-train, re-teach, re-program them. He was able to do so by spending time with them, grabbing hold of every teachable moment, telling stories to help them understand and shedding light on the things they had misunderstood from their own childhood. We can learn much about leading our kids by taking a look at the way Jesus interacted with the disciples to get them to follow Him.

1.      Jesus talked. The disciples followed because they spent time listening to Jesus. What are you saying? Make sure that there is time in your busy life for your kids to sit and listen to you telling them about a God that loves them; that they are His masterpiece created for a special plan and that it is in following Him that we discover that plan. Talk to them about what you are learning about being a God follower. They won’t learn nearly as much by watching you as they will if they are also hearing about God walking with you on your journey.

2.      Before they followed Jesus, they had heard enough to trust Jesus so when Jesus asked to borrow their boat to push back from the crowd so He could continue to teach, they were willing. Does your lifestyle and your words align so that your kids are learning to trust you? Drop the “do as I say, not as I do” life-style if you want to lead well.

3.      The disciples were willing to do something that didn’t make any sense to them (fish in the heat of the day) simply because Jesus said so. There are things that we don’t understand and even more things that our children don’t understand, but obedience that is born of trusting Jesus, not just a list of rules, is transformative.  What do your kids see in your life to help them grasp the blessings of doing life according to Jesus’ teaching? Tell them stories of when you followed even though it didn't make sense to you. If you don't have any of those stories, keep listening and obeying. They will come.

4.      The would-be-disciples dropped their nets, their livelihood, to follow Jesus because they believed He was the real deal and whatever they sacrificed, it was going to be worth it. When we reach the point of total surrender in order to follow Jesus, the lives of our children will be greatly impacted.

We cannot force our children to follow Jesus, but we can certainly set an example for them. Don’t live your life with one foot on the path with Jesus and the other on the path with the world. That sends a definite message that Jesus is not trustworthy enough to be followed wholeheartedly… so why should they want to follow Him?

Lord, help us to trust you more; to actively listen to you and follow where you lead us. Give us boldness to share openly our journey with you so that our children will learn who You are and desire to follow You, in total surrender.