Know The Culture

In 2012, before I traveled to Australia to minister to the Journey Church in Pacific Pines, I was told a bit about the culture there so that I would better understand the people and not say or do something that would offend them. It was not just somebody being bossy and wanting to tell me what to do. There was no test administered to see if I would remember the set of “rules.” It was simply a kind and thoughtful deed to make my time there as profitable and enjoyable as it could be. I never mastered the really cool accent… except I can pull off a pretty amazing “G’day, Mate!”…but, I was able to live among the people and respect them and love them better because I understood their culture.

As followers of Jesus, we are given a great description of what His culture looks like so that we can better imitate Him. This helps us understand why we are sometimes miserable and why sometimes we are full of joy. It isn’t just a coincidence or a hormonal swing, but often it is our behavior. We were created in the image of God and when we decide to follow Him, we have chosen to live in a different culture. For that to be a pleasant experience, there are things we have to know.

First and foremost is that we are to love God and secondly, love each other. Well, there are about a gazillion different notions about what love looks like and how it behaves, so Jesus tells us what it looks like in His culture. That is His gift of love to us, that we may live an enjoyable and profitable life, rich in love and goodness. When we choose to slip out of that culture of love, it is uncomfortable and in time it turns all our focus inward and we begin to worry about how we are being treated by others rather than focusing outward and loving even those who do not treat us lovingly.

What did Jesus say about being mistreated? “Turn the other cheek.”  When we start to keep score or keep a record of wrongs and demand justice rather than turn the other cheek, something rises up in us that creates stress. It is toxic to us because it does not fit into the culture we have entered when we came to follow Jesus. How did Jesus feel about leadership and authority? He stooped to wash Peter’s dirty feet. He taught us that the way to lead effectively is to serve.

If the culture in your home or in your own heart is creating a battlefield, perhaps it is because you are not listening to Jesus as He tries to teach you to live appropriately and effectively in His culture; the culture of the follower (a.k.a disciple) of Christ Jesus. The culture of love.

Come, Follow, Learn

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will show you how to fish for people.”

Matthew 4:19

When Jesus says COME it is likely that we want to do just that, except that in order to “come” we are going to have to “leave” the comfort of where we are… where there is security and predictability. I’m not talking a grand scale of leaving the comfort of America to be a missionary in a place where cannibalism is common practice and running water means darting about dodging poisonous vipers with a jug of muddy water on your head that you just walked 5 miles to collect. Let’s bring it in a little closer to home…

Come…

When Jesus says COME to us, he is inviting us into a relationship with him. That relationship we build with Him spills over into our relationships at home and at work. Everywhere! It involves leaving the comfort of self-care and crossing over to care about, or for, another.

…Follow

Here is some good news! When Jesus calls us to come, He is inviting us into an unknown, to be sure, however, we will have the perfect guide. Dependable, trustworthy, knowledgeable, kind, wise and owning all the resources that we may need on our journey. We don’t really have to fear leaving the unsatisfactory life we have grown accustomed to because we will be following on the heels of the Master who has all we need to find success, joy, peace, and abiding love.

I will show you…

When Jesus told the fishermen He would show them how to fish for men, He was merely taking something they knew about and translating it into a way to build relationships with people that would change them for the better, forever. We don’t truly change because we are good at following rules. Lasting transformation comes from investing in others… in relationships. He wants to show us how to grow in our relationships with others. Particularly at home. And He will use what we have, our skills and talents and passions and show us how to love better than we ever have.

If you have made the decision to leave your comfort zone and come to Jesus, then it is time to follow Him. You can’t just stay where you are. Following Him means that you are moving.  And as you move with Him, allow Him to take what you have … your talents, your strengths, your passion… and begin to fashion them in such a way that your relationships will grow and flourish and transform the people you love.

If you are looking for change in your relationships, don’t look at the other people. Look at yourself. Are you stuck? Have you refused the invitation to walk away from the old life and come to Jesus?  Are you following Him? Or have you determined your own path?  Have you given Him all that you are in order for Him to build you up into what others need to see, the image of Jesus and His love?

His request is timeless. Will you come, follow and allow Him to show you how to love? That’s what the world needs… what our neighborhoods need… what our homes need … more than anything…And we can’t do it without leaving where we are, coming to Jesus and following Him so that He can show us the way.

The Love...Not The List

Just before Jesus was handed over to be tried and crucified, He gave the disciples one last message. One that would be their strength and their courage and their endurance in the difficult days to follow… in all the difficult days that followed, even for you and for me and the difficult days we encounter in the 21^st century. Jesus called it a “new” command. “Love one another… As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” But what is new about LOVE? How is that a “new” commandment?

It’s the “as I have loved you” part that brings new light to LOVE. We define love as a feeling of affection, a fondness, a warmth in the spirit. But that is not the essence of true love. Jesus loved ugly people with ugly habits and ugly intentions. Jesus loved those who persecuted Him. Jesus loved those who kept getting it wrong, even though He was right there showing them right. Jesus loved regardless of receiving no love back.

Jesus took on flesh and became fully man when he was here so, as a human, how was He able to love so well in spite of the way He was treated? Our humanness is what makes it so hard for us to love without conditions and without limits. When our tank is emptied by the stress of difficult relationships, we tend to run out of the love we are supposed to be extending and our heart closes up shop. How did that NOT happen to Jesus? It was His Father that filled his love tank. You see, God IS LOVE, therefore, God in your heart brings love to your life. Withholding love from anyone until they shape up and make a deposit in your tank is simply not the way of Jesus.

Imagine this scenario…

You are on trial, being accused of being a horrible follower of Jesus.  Your attorney is defending you, telling the jury that you attend church almost every week. You put $ in the offering. You volunteer at charities a few times a year. You do devotions at least 3 days a week. You were baptized as a kid. You sing on the worship team, rock babies in the nursery and can quote a half dozen verses of scripture. There is a Bible with highlighted verses on your coffee table and you rarely allow expletives to escape. The jury is nodding in agreement that you are a fine follower.

Now the prosecutor takes over. She looks straight at the jury and tells them that Jesus was never really about a list of things to do and not do. Jesus himself said that the new command was to love each other just as He loved. She continues as she paces back and forth in front of the jury…  “He gave to those who had nothing to give back. He healed those who didn’t say please and thank you. He loved those who persecuted Him and called for His death. And with his last few breaths He demonstrated that great love, by asking God to forgive them for their cruelty to Him.” And then she closes with this, “Love is what defines us as a follower of Jesus, not Lists.”

Now the jury must decide if you are a follower… a legit follower of Jesus. You look over at them and they look back at you. As you lock eyes, you see that the jury is made up of your spouse and your children; your in-laws and your neighbors; your boss and your co-workers. What will the verdict be?

It’s fairly easy to consider ourselves good and godly people, but if our love is the determining factor, do we still measure up to what we want to be? To whom we are called to be?

Perhaps today is the day for you to clean out the anger and frustration and bitterness that has set up housekeeping in your heart and make room for God to fill you with His love. When that happens, don’t keep it! Give it away freely, because as long as you are giving it away and not allowing the bitter junk to come back, God will keep filling and filling and filling…

So, go love!... The Jesus way!

The Fallacy of Feelings

When we start out to do something right… good… even excellent… why is it that we have so much trouble sticking to it? It’s January and new practices are starting in the lives of people all over the world… but few will see them through for the entire year. Maybe it’s because it is HARD to change our mindset and keep our focus on the end goal. It is easy to get caught up in the emotions of the moment and chart a new course as our feelings dictate.

What kind of adventure are you planning? How are your feelings keeping you from getting there? Let me help you think about this…

You want to eat healthier, until you feel like you have done that long enough to deserve a splurge and that feeling of entitlement sends you directly to Dunkin Donuts and sabotages your plan.

You want to exercise, but you are too tired so you don’t do it… only to discover that you really feel too tired every day.

You want to improve your marriage relationship and communicate better… but then you feel like you are the only one trying so what’s the use!

You decide to make the Bible a priority, but somedays you don’t really feel you are grasping what it is saying so you put it down and go back to letting the pastor tell you about the Bible on Sundays.

You want to get your family to church with more regularity but they make Sunday morning such a challenge that you begin to feel like it really isn’t worth the hassle.

You want to get your spending under control and live with margin so that you can save for what you want, but then you see how others live and you feel  like you are depriving yourself too much so you abandon the budget and get what you want.

You want to be consistent with your kids and expect them to respect you and others, but you are exhausted at the end of the day and feel like turning your head to their behavior is just going to make life easier.

I’m guessing that there have been many nods of the head as you read through those scenarios. We all fall prey to our feelings and they destroy our futures. I once heard it said that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just ARE. Don’t beat yourself up for your feelings, just don’t let them run your life. It is easy to feel, but it is difficult to do the right thing in spite of those feelings.

DON’T GIVE UP!

SATISFYING SELF IS A DEADLY TRAP!

When you have one of those feelings that will cause you to redirect your behavior in a negative way, take control! Feelings are only bad if they are controlling you. When you control them, it’s a whole different story. Engage your brain and look to the future. What will be the result of caving to the feelings of entitlement, exhaustion, injustice, self-pity, gluttony, laziness, inconsistency? Where will you end up?  Rather, think about the end goal. What kind of marriage do you want to build? What kind of children do you want to raise? What kind of financial security do you want? What kind of knowledge would you like to acquire? What kind of health would you like to be in?

Don’t live only to satisfy your own (sinful) desires, for that will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But live to please God, so you can live life more fully every single day. Don’t get rid of the practice of doing good, of being kind, of showing unconditional love, of living to honor others because, in the end, we all want to reap a harvest of blessings.       From Galatians 6:8-9

Happy New You!

A new year. A clean slate. Where do I begin? Perhaps you are asking those same questions. We all hope for a better year, but what will we do to make it happen?

In 2017 my husband and I both spent time in the hospital. That is something I would like to eliminate from 2018. We all have some degree of control over our health and should do all we can to care properly for our bodies. But, there are some things that are out of our control. What can you do to better honor the body God has given you so that you will be able to do what he planned for you before you were even born?

In 2017 our youngest son went through a very difficult time and was too far away for us to be with him. As much as I wanted to, I realize there is no way that any of us can take the pain from someone and shoulder it ourselves. We can, however, be there to listen and encourage and pray for them as they walk through the valley. Are there ways you can walk alongside a friend during their struggles? Can you allow the Light to shine from you to direct them along the way?

In 2017 my mother was taken to the hospital with what appeared to be stomach flu and in a week she was gone. The grief over that loss is still fresh and painful. I cannot bring her back, nor would she want to return to her broken body, but I have learned much about life through her passing that I hope will make me a better person in 2018 than I was in 2017.  For one thing, you can never love someone too much or tell them too many times that you love them. There isn’t a limit on kindness and forgiveness and gentleness that one should extend to others.  For another thing, it is always good to listen with your heart. The things we hear don’t always carry the intended message. Give people the benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain rather than jumping to conclusions. In many ways, I am gaining more understanding of and appreciation for my mother since she has passed. She is still teaching me. I would love to live my life in such a way that people will learn from me while I am here on this earth, as well as when I go to my final reward.

I am not fond of resolutions at the beginning of the year. I tend to find things all 12 months that I need to start or stop doing or saying or feeling. Typically these things are learned in the darkest hours. In the trials. In the challenging circumstances. I hope that your 2018 is filled with laughter and joy… but in retrospect I know that you will grow more in the struggles, so I must wish you a few of those, as well.

As a parent, there will be laughter and there will be pain. You have to grow and learn something new with every stage of development your kids encounter. Adults change, too, so your marriage is evolving and you should be learning to love better in the place you currently are, rather than doing the same things you have always done. Things at work tend to change as well. Will you embrace it and learn and grow or grumble all the way though it?

I guess what I am trying to say is that we really mustn’t curse the darkness, but use it to find the Light. Without those difficult times, we tend to think we have things under control and the truth is, very little is ever in our control. Just when we have something mastered, another thing arises. Nothing truly remains the same throughout our life. Except for God. Because of that, it is imperative that those who desire to follow God’s perfect will, must stay connected to Him.  That is my 2018 prayer for you. Connect with God in new and real ways. Let Him make you a new person. Here are some suggestions to make that happen.

Be in the Word. Learn with another follower. Let His truth transform you (Romans 12)

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person.

Be a person who prays. Talk to Him and listen with your heart. Say the Lord’s Prayer daily and meditate upon its meaning.

Let praise and thankfulness always be in your heart.

Happy New You!