New Year - New You

Have you been looking back at 2015 and wondering about how 2016 will be different? Better?  It’s that time of year that we all tend to scrutinize and analyze, plot and plan. Here are a few suggestions that I have stolen from some really wise people who place great value on raising their kids to honor God. Here is what they have suggested…

Always look at the heart of your child, not just the behavior. Behavior comes from an internal issue. Listen to them and find out why they are behaving as they are and correct the behavior from the heart level.

Speak to others with respect and don’t yell. When we raise our voice we are demonstrating that we are not in control. That is NOT what we want them to believe is acceptable behavior.

Correct undesired behavior with examples of what could or should have been said or done. As they get older, ask them. “How could you have handled that better?”

Never speak unkindly or disrespectfully about others in the presence of your children. It will teach them that it is okay to be judgmental and critical of others.

Make sure that your day includes more face time than it does screen time. Social media can wait until the kids are sleeping.

If you are married, treat your spouse the way you want your child’s spouse to someday treat them. You are setting their “normal” so if you are rude to your spouse, they will likely date people who are rude to them and think nothing of it.

Plan ahead for healthy meals so that you aren’t pumping your kids full of processed food that will have a huge impact on behavior and health. Portion out your fruit and veggies in snack size bags so you can easily grab and go! Check out the website plantoeat.com for a tool that can make your life easier and healthier.

Develop routines for cleaning and organizing to minimize frustration that comes when things start to pile up. By pre-school age have your kids involved in small duties and expand them as they grow. Keep it simple: Monday, collect and empty waste baskets. Tuesday, fold towels. Etc.

Read to your children and instill the love of books in them. It will make school easier if they love to read.

Make worship a priority in your home. If something is keeping you from weekly church attendance, make sure that it isn’t keeping you from worshiping God together.

Read a book or two this year that will make you a better person. Some of my favorite authors are Francis Chan, Kyle Idleman, Max Lucado and Beth Moore… if you needed a suggestion.

Laugh out loud. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Listen to Christian radio and keep a children’s cd of Sunday School Songs in your vehicle so the kids are learning truths from the Bible in the songs they sing.

Love your parents. Your kids will likely treat you as well as you treat your parents some day. Let them see that you value them and honor them, even if you don’t always enjoy or agree with them.

Remind your children to honor others above themselves, treat others as they wish to be treated, show respect to all people and be kind. This is not superfluous, but the behavior that honors God and creates peace in our homes. Expect it and settle for nothing less.

Apply Romans 12:2 to every waking moment and let God transform you by changing the way your think. The way you think determines how you feel and the way you feel will dictate your words and actions. Give your thoughts to God and let him have control of reshaping them. It will improve all your relationships.

At Just The RIGHT Time???

We have all heard it said, “timing is everything.” We like to align our circumstances, get our duckies are in a row and plan out the happily ever after ending. Wait until he is in a good mood before you tell him you wrecked his car. Wait until she is in a better mood before you tell her that dress is NOT flattering. Wait until the price drops to this number before you make that purchase. Wait until you have this much in the bank before you start a family. Then, at just the right time… the perfect time… things work out just as you planned.

In the story of Jesus (God, in human form coming to earth to live among us filthy, undeserving people) we hear the term, “at just the right time.” The timing must have been perfect because it was God that orchestrated the entire event. He got to choose the “who”, the “when” and the “where” throughout all of history for Jesus to make his appearance. So let’s take a look at this perfect timing of the God of the universe.

THE WHO:  First, he needed a host for the infant to make his appearance. Mary! Perfect! … wait… Mary was a single Jewish girl. This can’t be the right person to choose for the job! Jewish females were pretty much worthless in society, except for their ability to bear children. But… she was unmarried… no husband… no notoriety, no prestige. She can’t possibly be the mother of the King of the Jews! She was engaged to Joseph, however, so if she could convince him to stick around after she told him this ridiculous story about the baby within her being the child of the Holy Spirit, at least they could be a family. But what are the chances that this fine Jewish carpenter is going to believe that? He didn’t buy it and he was walking away from this scandal… at least until the Angel of the Lord appeared and changed his mind!

So this carpenter is going to be the dad to a baby that isn’t his. People will talk. People will point fingers at them. If only the timing had been different and they were already married they would have escaped all the gossip. “Why me?” Joseph must have wondered. And rightly so. Looking at his family tree you don’t find royalty for centuries past. He isn’t a priest, doesn’t live in Jerusalem, and he is a commoner who works with his hands and certainly doesn’t have the means to properly raise a King. What in the world is God thinking right now. This makes no sense!

It doesn’t get better… God literally throws this young woman into the home of this carpenter so that they can become a family. If you are married you already know that becoming “one” with that special person isn’t really all romance and bliss. There are adjustments to be made and lessons to learn. Taking into account the fact that she is a teenager, lacking maturity; is now obviously pregnant before the marriage causing stares and slanderous gossip; within her there is a battle ensuing of brand new, inexplicable and uncontrollable hormonal shifts; and the intimacy they may both be craving must be postponed until after the birth of this mystery she is carrying.

THE WHEN: The crisis continues when the decree is announced that, in her last trimester when she is feeling as big as a house and doesn’t know whether to be excited or ashamed or scared to death, she has to travel to the town of their origin to be a part of the first census. Great timing! Never before has there been a census and Caesar chooses NOW? I can hear her now, “Are you kidding me? We have to take a road trip?” We aren’t talking about just across town to visit your parents. We are talking 80 miles! How long would it take you to walk 80 miles when you are ready to be done with the heartburn, practice contractions (or are they practice contractions? Remember, this is her first child and all that she is feeling is subject to question), and… how do I say this politely???  Let’s just say there were probably a whole lot of stops along the way and no proper facilities!

THE WHERE:  Finally, the timing seems to be improving, for just as the contractions seem to be bearing down on her, the lights of Bethlehem appear. At least they will be able to find a suitable place to have this baby and he won’t be delivered on the open road!  They reach the town and, much to their dismay, every extra bed in town is already filled with others who have come to be counted in the census. If only they had been able to travel faster, they may have had a place to stay. If only there were no baby… less stops along the way… better timing could have made all the  difference!

I wonder how many times Joseph was offered a stable and how many times Mary said, “I am NOT having this baby in a barn! Keep looking!” The fear and anxiety of delivering a little baby is incomparable to any other experience on earth. “I want this baby out of me! No, wait! It hurts too bad! Make it stop! Please God, make him come! No, I am not ready to do this!” Back and forth the mind swings until the moment comes when there is no stopping the inevitable and perhaps Mary’s shrieks could be heard throughout the village. “I don’t care if it’s the worst barn in this town! I have to lie down… NOW!

We have heard the Christmas story many times and found it to be quaint and comforting, but when you really look at the story of Jesus coming on that first Christmas night, there is not a single thing for those involved that appears to be good timing in our human way of thinking.

Maybe, as you look at the things for which you are waiting in your own life, it seems that God’s timing is not lining up with yours.

“…but at just the right time, GOD…”  His timing is the RIGHT timing. We seldom see it. Life often looks like it is never going to align with what we want, the way we planned, the way it “should” be. The story of our Messiah; our Savior; our Redeemer coming to earth to reconcile us to our Creator proves that, what looks like disaster from the human perspective, is truly “just the right time” in God’s plan.

This Christmas, may your heart be renewed and your hope be restored as you take a glimpse into the greatest event of all time, orchestrated by the Master Designer,  and see that, in spite of our human understanding, God really does work things out “at just the right time.”

I am praying that, whoever you are, wherever you are, you will find a Merry Hope-filled Christmas!

Hope Misplaced

12082015 Bringing it home

Sunday the Pastor wrapped up his sermon on “The Thrill of Hope” with the question, “What is it that you stress about? What do you fear? Perhaps that is where your hope is, rather than in the miracle of Jesus.”  Emmanuel is God with us; the infant King who came from heaven to earth to be our Redeemer, our Restorer, our Hope. Yet it seems so easy to fall into the trap of putting all our faith in our own ability to provide for ourselves; to control our environment; to align our life just the way we planned.

Another wonderful conversation with my dad this week led me down the same path that the Pastor sent us on Sunday. He talked about the hope we have in Jesus, “When we truly deserved another flood, God gave us a baby. Over and over again we fail to live up to who He created us to be. We don’t walk in step with Him; we seek our will over His; we don’t listen; don’t obey. Yet, in spite of our wickedness, He didn’t destroy the world, but gave us the gift of a baby King that was born in a barn to unlikely parents of royalty. A baby that would forever bring hope to the world.

Babies are God’s way of saying there is HOPE. There is reason to believe that we can get this right. They bring us new beginnings. Babies bring joy. We have had a large crop of babies born in our church family in the past few months and more are coming in 2016. What a blessing it is to hold them and love them and teach them they are loved by the One who created them. What an honor it is to introduce them to Emmanuel, God with us. What a privilege to teach them that there is HOPE.

I encourage you to take a look at where you are placing your hope. Your job? Your paycheck? Your skills? Your health? Your talent?  Your family? Here is the thing you need to know… your kids can see it and are learning where to place their hope by watching you. Take a step in the right direction and shift your Hope to the One who cannot fail and have a Merry, Hope-filled, Christmas!

Hang on to Hope

One of my favorite Christmas stories is “The Little Spider,” by Sigmund Brouwer. It tells the story of the vast array of animals in the stable after Jesus birth when the Angel warned Joseph in a dream to leave before the soldiers, under orders from King Herod, came to kill the baby.  Each of the animals is full of hope that they can ensure their safety by traveling with Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus.  Off they go in the dark of night as traveling companions to the family, convinced that they will never leave their side…certain they will be the hero that will rescue the Christ Child.

As the story continues, the mouse loses hope and becomes discouraged because he is certainly too small to be of assistance. The cat soon drops out of the picture as he is enticed by all that he sees outside of the stable he called home. Dog saw the size of Herod’s army marching toward them and lost hope because he was so outnumbered that victory against all those soldiers seemed unlikely, if not impossible.

Mary and Joseph found a cave to hide in so they could rest for a while. The little spider was the only traveling companion left with them. When she saw them shivering against the cold night air seeping into the cave that was already damp and chilled all she could offer was to begin to spin a web over the opening to the cave so that the family would be protected from the cool wind that howled.

As morning broke and Joseph awoke he could hear the sound of soldiers approaching the entrance of the cave. Quietly they huddled in the darkness, praying for God’s protection. The soldiers were just about to enter the cave when one of the men noticed the web that Spider had spent the entire night creating. “There is no one inside. Anyone entering would have torn that spider’s web,” he observed. And the soldiers passed on, leaving Joseph, Mary and Jesus in peace.

The least likely of all the travelers was the one to do the most good because she didn’t lose hope. This Christmas, I pray that you will keep doing good… even if you don’t understand why or what good it is accomplishing. Do what you can with great hope that God will bless your efforts. Whether it is loving the unlovely, going the second mile, enduring ridicule, battling illness or the fog that has held you captive… keep on spinning that blanket of tender compassion and you never know what good will come of it.

Don’t lose hope. With God, all things are possible. Let his love flow through you this Christmas season as you hang on to hope.

There Is More To This Life...

Kids  have trouble seeing the big picture. They sometimes have trouble seeing beyond this moment in time. That is because they are kids and that is how the mind works before maturity teaches us to look down the road or outside of our own little world. I imagine it would be pretty overwhelming to see all that there is to see to a little mind that is still in awe of what currently surrounds them.

As we grow in our faith and travel closer to God we begin to realize that there is more to this life than this life, however, we still need to be reminded. Our lives get full and busy and exhausting and just trying to make it to the end of the day is all we can manage to focus on. But when our focus is on today we lose sight of what really matters. The life we are living here and now is for nothing more than to honor God and bring the eyes of those around us to His greatness. There really is more to this life than this life.

How does this reality play out at home? How are we preparing our children to live with eternity in their sights? Well, the simple answer is, if we are simply focused on making it through the day or the week or the month; getting all the tasks checked off our list; keeping food on the table; making it to all the lessons, meets and meetings; making our bonus at work; paying all the bills; packing lunches and checking homework… then we are not teaching them anything about keeping eternity in their sights.  We are teaching them to exist and be busy and to cover the basics of human life on this planet and forfeiting the most important lesson of all: living in preparation to meet Jesus.

This time of year we reflect on the coming Messiah; Savior of the world. As you walk your children through the story of that first Christmas, be reminded of the reason for His coming; to reconcile all of us to our Creator. That is the reason for Christmas. That is the reason He created us. If walking with Him has lost significance in your life then you are likely living as though you believe there is no more to life than this life. Children will learn to live as they see you live.

As you prepare for the season of Advent, remember to show the children that there IS more to this life than this life and that every day we can live like we are preparing to welcome a living God into our homes. We can give with more joy. We can live with less stress. We can speak with more kindness. We can look with less judgment. We can see with more compassion. Then we will begin to demonstrate for our children what it looks like to live like there is more to this life than this life.

Blessed

As I look back to the beginning of 2015, I seem to recall that I felt very poor. We were either recovering from huge repair bills or racking up new ones! New well, new septic, new stovetop, new water softener, new drainage ditch, furnace threatening to quit on a regular basis; dryer chewing our clothes to bits, roof leaking, windows leaking… We were wondering what would break next and how in the world we would pay for it! We were seriously thinking we couldn’t afford to stay in our home and needed to earnestly consider selling.

Now, my husband has always been a great handyman. There is not much that baffles him when it comes to fixing things so I have seldom had to pay someone else to make repairs around the house, but these problems were bigger than he could tackle…especially since he was always tired. Midway through the year, we found out why. A heart cath revealed that he had 100% blockage in two of the 3 major arteries and an 80% and a 90% in others. This discovery led to a 6 bypass operation, from which he recovered marvelously… until the week he went back to work when he spiked a fever and ended up in the hospital with an acute infection in his leg where veins had been harvested for the bypass surgery. This required 3 additional surgeries and 10 more days in the hospital.

Considering how the year started and my frame of mind facing all those bills for home repairs, you would likely surmise that I was seriously depressed over the medical bills that were piling up. Strangely, through those days in the hospital and throughout the recovery process, the feelings of gloom and doom I had felt during the winter months were replaced with praise. God had spared Dana’s life. He had given me the greatest gift I could imagine, considering the likelihood of losing my husband to a massive heart attack if they hadn’t performed the surgeries. Through the medical journey to likely over $1 million in services (before insurance), I have been feeling blessed. The only way I can explain that to you is that I found out that I am surrounded by wonderful people who care deeply about others and want to stand in the gap, lift others up in prayer and lend a helping hand. In the last couple of months, as friends and family came to our aid, we received cards, prayers, money, meals and assistance beyond what we felt worthy to accept.

A truly amazing experience was when Mill Creek Church sent over 30 strong bodies to put a roof on our house. Every time I went outside to check the progress, my eyes filled with tears watching these wonderful people give time and energy to do a really tough job on a cold and windy October weekend. I love to be on the giving end, so this was a totally humbling experience for me. I deserved none of this and all was given to me with loving hearts and smiling faces. It was overwhelming!

I am RICH!  And God is faithful! And His people are amazing! If I have learned anything in 2015 it is the importance of being available for God to use me to bless others and, no matter how painful it is, I will be humble and receive blessings from others when I am in need.

Be careful not to load up your calendar, deplete your bank account, spend all your energy on things that will not bring blessings to those in need. Show them the love of Jesus by living RICH!

It Really Is Better To Give

How many times have you heard a child ask, after tearing through a small mountain of gifts, “Is that all?” No matter how many they get, they seem to always be looking for more. Why? Well, if I asked you how much money you want to make next year I seriously doubt that you would give me a total that would be less or the same as the amount you made this year. We seem to be doing a fairly good job of modeling wanting more for our kids. Sad, but true.

Last week I picked up a little snowman holding a chalk board that said “_____ days ‘til Christmas” for my granddaughter. The countdown is on for all the magic of Christmas in the eyes of an 8 year-old. As I saw the excitement in her eyes, I kept thinking how nice it would be if they made the chalk board read, “__ days ‘til Jesus birthday.” Maybe then our focus could be on the gifts we could bring to Him rather than the list our children prepare for Santa.

What if our advent calendar didn’t supply a piece of candy every day, but a thoughtful gesture or helpful deed they could do in preparation for the coming of the Christ Child?

What if our family searched for people who were in need and delivered a sack of groceries to their door on the way home from the store?

What if our children were trained to notice the child on the playground with no gloves or a coat that no longer zips and brought home that information so you could anonymously purchase one for them?

What if we replaced a storm door for the neighbor whose door dangled from a broken hinge, or raked the yard, or shoveled the walk?

What if we had a regular night every month that was designated as an M25 day (Matthew 25:40) when we would, as a family or a group of families, be on mission to help “the least of these?”

Here’s the bottom line: A child who learns to want things for themselves will never have enough, but a child who learns to see the needs of others and reach out in love, will find contentment. This year, focus on the needs of the world. You learn the joy of being rich when you give to those in need.

By the way… it’s only 43 days til Jesus Birthday. 

Be Rich!

Don’t you just love being rich? Every day you get to put shoes on your kids feet as you send them off to school to get an education that many children around the world cannot afford. Every day you eat food that you didn’t have to dig out of a dumpster. Every day you get to drink as much clean water as you want. Every day you get into a vehicle to travel from point A to point B. Every day you can wear a different outfit… for how many days running????

We are truly rich, monetarily speaking, compared to most of the world. If your combined family income is $44,000 a year you are in the top 1% in the world. That may not feel rich to you, but compared to most of the world, you are living in the lap of luxury! Growing accustomed to having what we need at all times and what we want most of the time is causing an epidemic of entitlement with our children and grandchildren.

How do we live in America, provide for our families and NOT raise children that expect everything to be handed to them? Maybe it begins with letting them see the rest of the world. Don’t shelter them from the needs of others. Allow them to make the choice to give to others. Choose a charity and support it as a family. Be willing to make sacrifices, even if it is sticking a frozen pizza into the oven rather than having one delivered….wearing knockoffs instead of Nike...or getting water at a restaurant rather than soft drinks…or settling for only a few new outfits when school starts…or having less gifts under the tree. Make the kids aware of the savings THEN TAKE THAT SAVINGS AND INVEST IT IN THE LIFE OF SOMEONE IN NEED!

Let these examples get your wheels of generosity turning... 

I know a little girl who, on her 11^th birthday, asked for anyone who intended to buy her a gift, to just give her the cash they would have spent so that she could give it to an orphanage in Guatemala. She is learning to live with a world view rather than looking at herself as the center of the stage.

I heard a father say that he is considering forgoing the traditional family vacation and rather take his kids to a third world country to open their hearts to the needs of the world.

I know of a father that gives all his children a mission trip with him as a graduation gift. What a great way to prepare them for all they will experience in college in the coming years.

I know of a family who gives small Christmas gifts so that they can give a needy village a goat or a chicken or a cow or…. in honor of the one they would normally give a nicer gift.

Take an honest look at your Christmas gift list. How many people on that list NEED something from you? Probably very few. Why? Because we are RICH! We just haven’t learned to admit it. As we approach the holiday season, remember to Be Rich! Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk. Learn to live generously and be intentional as you teach your kids to live unselfishly. 

"Teach those who are rich in this world (um... that's us) 

not to be proud and not to trust in their money, 

which is so unreliable. 

Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 

Tell them to use their money to do good. 

They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need,

 always being ready to share with others.

1 Timothy 6:17-18 nlt

Stay the Course!

I think one of the universal flaws of human nature is the inability to stick to a commitment. It doesn’t seem to matter if you are a God follower or not. We just lack the drive to see things through to the end. Our intentions are good, but our resolve… not so much.  The doctor recently put me on a special diet for better digestive health. I looked at it and thought, “this will be a breeze since I rarely eat the things that are forbidden.” Well, a week and a half into it and I want all those things that I can’t have. Apples, broccoli, bread (believe it or not, I am NOT a bread person and now I want toast all day long!).

It isn’t just diets we struggle to stick with. How many times have we vowed to exercise, read the Bible, be consistent with our kids, get better rest, establish a healthier routine, drink more water and less (fill in the blank) and then drop the ball? Even the things that come easy often fall by the wayside. Is it because Satan doesn’t want us to succeed so he plants temptation on our path? Do we sabotage ourselves?

If you are raising kids you have likely read or heard a gazillion times that you have to stay the course and you can’t give up just because it is difficult. Kids are kind of high maintenance. They have to be fed regularly, dressed appropriately, trained properly, disciplined effectively and taught correctly. Any one of those things can overwhelm us on a given day… especially if you are one of those free-spirited people for whom routines feel like torture.

This whole subject takes me back to New Testament days when the Pharisees were all bogged down with following all the dos and don’ts and lost site of the reason why they had been given any commandments in the first place. Jesus boiled their rule following issues down to 2 things…

Make God your #1 priority

Love others… honoring them above yourself

Jesus said if you do these two things, everything else will fall into place. Pretty sure the same thing is true in parenting. When we make God our #1 priority and really focus on following Him, the things that aren’t so important fall away. We don’t get wrapped up in the things that are merely things, but keep our feet on the path that brings us closer to Him. Maybe, just maybe, the exhaustion from our hectic schedules would subside and we would better know how to order our days if Jesus was writing our agenda.

And all those tedious tasks that we do as parents? What if we knew that Jesus was standing there beside us cheering us on? He is, you know. He knows how hard it is to make sacrifices… since He IS our sacrifice. Practice loving and praying for your kids as you help with homework, clean under beds, brush hair, do laundry…  Remember that you are doing what the Lord asks, loving without reservation (and without reciprocation on many occasions). That is just what love looks like when you are a parent.

Keep up the good work! Follow and love Jesus with all your heart and you will learn to show the love that your kids need to learn as a pattern for their lives. 

A Dangerous Trap

Did you ever try to purge toys from your children’s room while they were present? Typically, the things they never play with suddenly become something they couldn’t possibly live without. That’s why we do it when they are not home. We aren’t much different, though. We really don’t like to give things up. We hang on to clothes we don’t wear and tools we don’t use. The doctor tells us to give up certain foods and suddenly we are craving them like never before. There is just something about being told we must surrender that makes us want to hang on.

When Jesus told the disciples of his imminent crucifixion He was ready to surrender. Then one of the disciples rushes in and tells Jesus that’s a bad plan. Jesus response? He realized that he had to stop that nonsense of man’s plan verses God’s plan and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” (Matthew 16:23-25).

It seems ridiculous to think that a decent parent would choose for their child to follow the way of Satan over the way of Jesus, BUT as you look at what Jesus is saying, he isn’t talking about some heinous, vulgar, disgusting demonic way of life that is the way of Satan. He is saying that Satan’s trap is purely the “human point of view.” We must realize that our own thinking is often self-centered, self-righteous and self-absorbed so that we can say as Jesus said, “get behind me Satan” and move toward the selfless, God-centered life. If we are not willing to take that step, we are basically – albeit unintentionally, inviting our children to the path Satan wants us all to follow… seeking what we want without consideration of what God wants.

These are tough words to write. Tough words to read. Tough words to live by. But since when is taking up the cross of Christ, symbolizing failure to the world, easy? Just remember; what the world sees as failure, heaven sees as victory. By whom will you be defined?

I pray that you will choose to surround yourself with godly friends that will call you out when you are living life with a “human point of view” and direct you back to the surrender that leads to a godly way of thinking and living. Your friends who are not serving the Lord Jesus may help you make good choices, but they will never be able to point you to taking up the cross Jesus speaks of if they haven’t done the same. Choose your friends wisely. Your children’s faith may very well depend on it.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."   Jim Elliot

Balancing Biblical Teaching at Home

Recently I have begun exploring new curriculum to see it there is something out there that does a better job of helping teach our children the truth of scripture more appropriately, effectively applying it to life. Why? Because what your children are learning in the formative years will be the memories they carry into adulthood; the foundation upon which they will build their beliefs and values. But, teaching the Truth found in the Bible is not something to save for those who teach your children on Sunday. There is so much that you can teach them as you are reading the Bible and learning new insights yourself.

One challenging part of scripture they must learn as they grow is that following Jesus is not a ticket to jolly good times here. In Matthew 10 Jesus warned His followers that there would be struggles, trials, persecution, separation from friends and family, flogging, imprisonment and even death. Teaching that alone wouldn’t convince anyone to follow Jesus, but what a beautiful way to deal with the betrayals that lead to broken hearts or the injustice they begin to realize as they grow. That isn't the end of the story because He goes on to say, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul…” (v 28) Jesus knows our pain and promises that all those wrongs are seen by God (v 26). That is what truly matters because He is the Judge. Here is another challenge for parents who want to charge in and right all the injustice or demolish all the fears our kids experience. We must work to find balance in giving comfort when they have been wronged or face fears and teaching them that Jesus is our Comfort and it is to Him we must learn to run in times of stress. Most adults haven’t even learned that lesson well!

Another thing we learn in this passage is; Children must be aware of the enemy of their soul. I have witnessed many children discussing the failures of teens and adults and saying, with resolve, “I am never going to do that!” Then I watch them grow into young adults who are making the same choices and walking the same path they vowed never to tread. When Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul,” he followed it with, “Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (vs 28). Another balancing act in parenting is not over-spiritualizing normal childish behavior, all the while making them aware that there is an enemy of their soul who will stop at nothing to get them off the right path. Kids do a lot of things wrong because they don’t always know the right direction to go. They legitimately forget because their minds are very busy learning and developing. You need to deal with blatant defiance because it leads to an ongoing pattern of disrespect for authority; however, not every infraction is punishable. Many of their errors, even if they have happened more than once, need to be teachable moments. You have the opportunity to teach them why it is wrong and instruct them in the way they should have behaved and the consequences of both actions. Then you have to determine how many times you teach before you have to react with negative consequences.

Parenting is the most challenging and the most important job you will ever do. Don’t try this alone. There is One who walks beside you. Listen and Obey. Stay focused on His Word so that you can direct the children as He directs you. 

What's Holding You Back?

As a young teenager I remember the fear I felt in following Jesus. I had read in Luke 9 about the things that you have to do to be a committed follower and I didn’t think I was made of the right stuff to make it work. Here is what Jesus said to those He compelled to follow Him, what I heard and what I truly needed to hear:

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus…	v. 58 “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”	I will likely be homeless, living in a straw hut being preyed upon by cannibals

What He was likely, truly saying was… Are you serious about following me? Because it could very well mean giving up your comfortable life so that you can be a blessing to those in need. It means being willing to step out in faith, before you have an iron-clad plan in place, complete with a fail-safe itinerary.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus, but first there are things that have to be in place…I need to go back and bury my father when he dies.	v. 60 “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”	You have to stop caring about the family that loves you, get out of your comfort zone completely and do the most difficult thing you can imagine… public speaking to a hostile crowd about something I don’t even fully understand myself!

Since He always seemed to know what people were feeling or scheming, maybe what he really meant was… Your security is not in your inheritance from your earthly father. Waiting until you have a cushion to fall back on means that your commitment is based on what you think you can do on your own, without the need to depend fully on Him. So, “If Jesus isn’t the real deal, at least I have other options.” Or maybe it means you are focused on what you can gain rather than what you think you can give. That isn’t commitment; that is merely adventure seeking. The inheritance we receive from our Heavenly Father is truly all that matters. It’s just hard to focus on something that we don’t fully understand rather than what our culture has taught us to understand; that our security lies in our own well-ordered plan for our future.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I will follow just as soon as I go back and say goodbye to my family (and maybe they will bring me to my senses and remind me that my commitment is first to them!) parenthetical thoughts are purely mine.	v. 62 “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”	I am worthless if I don’t have a huge amount of faith so that I never question anything, but push aside my loved ones and follow God into the unknown

Jesus always wants us to look at the BIG picture. What we do here in our own homes, with our own families, is essentially worthless in light of eternity if we keep putting them first, catering to their wishes, their schedules, their agenda, all the while we are pushing God to the background. Our priorities are not according to His plan if we keep waiting until we are finished raising our family, establishing a career and preparing for our retirement before we commit to following Him wholeheartedly. Every time we look back at what the world is doing, rather than looking forward to what God calls us to do, we become ineffective and wander off course. We will never get to the plan that He hand-crafted for each of us if we don’t keep our eyes on Him and His path.

I am not so far removed from raising a family that I don’t recall the busy schedules and the tight budgets and the enormous to-do list that goes with it. I get it…. Really! But being on the far side of raising my family, it is so much easier to see how often I forfeited what really mattered in the light of eternity for my list, my calendar, my well calculated plan. And I wish there could be “Do-overs.” Just like you, I am a work in process. But if I could make one of those commercials we see all the time lately, mine would say… “Don’t be the busy me whose focus is this life, this planet, this day. Be the new me, seeing the big picture of eternity and truly follow Jesus so your kids will learn to follow Him, not a schedule.”

Raising Disciples

It is a huge task to raise a human being well, shaping them to reflect the God that made them to bring honor to His name. Though Jesus didn’t raise a family, he did shape the lives of his followers, and He didn’t get to start from scratch so He had to re-train, re-teach, re-program them. He was able to do so by spending time with them, grabbing hold of every teachable moment, telling stories to help them understand and shedding light on the things they had misunderstood from their own childhood. We can learn much about leading our kids by taking a look at the way Jesus interacted with the disciples to get them to follow Him.

1.      Jesus talked. The disciples followed because they spent time listening to Jesus. What are you saying? Make sure that there is time in your busy life for your kids to sit and listen to you telling them about a God that loves them; that they are His masterpiece created for a special plan and that it is in following Him that we discover that plan. Talk to them about what you are learning about being a God follower. They won’t learn nearly as much by watching you as they will if they are also hearing about God walking with you on your journey.

2.      Before they followed Jesus, they had heard enough to trust Jesus so when Jesus asked to borrow their boat to push back from the crowd so He could continue to teach, they were willing. Does your lifestyle and your words align so that your kids are learning to trust you? Drop the “do as I say, not as I do” life-style if you want to lead well.

3.      The disciples were willing to do something that didn’t make any sense to them (fish in the heat of the day) simply because Jesus said so. There are things that we don’t understand and even more things that our children don’t understand, but obedience that is born of trusting Jesus, not just a list of rules, is transformative.  What do your kids see in your life to help them grasp the blessings of doing life according to Jesus’ teaching? Tell them stories of when you followed even though it didn't make sense to you. If you don't have any of those stories, keep listening and obeying. They will come.

4.      The would-be-disciples dropped their nets, their livelihood, to follow Jesus because they believed He was the real deal and whatever they sacrificed, it was going to be worth it. When we reach the point of total surrender in order to follow Jesus, the lives of our children will be greatly impacted.

We cannot force our children to follow Jesus, but we can certainly set an example for them. Don’t live your life with one foot on the path with Jesus and the other on the path with the world. That sends a definite message that Jesus is not trustworthy enough to be followed wholeheartedly… so why should they want to follow Him?

Lord, help us to trust you more; to actively listen to you and follow where you lead us. Give us boldness to share openly our journey with you so that our children will learn who You are and desire to follow You, in total surrender.

Follow Me

Here are a few things you never find in red letters (the words of Jesus) in your Bible:

“Knock it off!”

“Stop being an idiot!”

“If you do that one more time…!”

“Don’t make me come back there!”

“I’ve told you for the last time…!”

“You make me so mad!”

He had “children” who he “raised” to be people of good character and integrity; to be leaders; to be strong; to be catalyst for change; to mature in their faith; to learn what it means to be godly. In that way, Jesus was not all that unlike us in our desire to raise our children well. His method of teaching them and speaking to them, however, may have looked and sounded different than ours.

He said, “Follow Me.” And then he led them, patiently, by example, loving them… in all their childishness and spiritual immaturity. Because He knew that we are all children, starting in infancy, growing, learning, maturing in our faith and on a journey that needs a Guide.

Take a look in the mirror. Are you living according to Jesus’ plan for you?  Do you possess character and integrity? Are you strong enough to lead? To be a catalyst for change? Are you maturing in your faith and learning what it means to be godly? If you can say YES, I want to meet you because I haven’t yet met the person who could honestly answer affirmatively every moment of every day. We are flawed and we struggle and we mess up.

And He loves us anyway. Because He is GRACE.

Two things I want you to take away from that picture:

1)       Extend the grace to your kids that you want God to extend to you. Understand that they are young, immature, learning, growing, imperfect, flawed, selfish, strong-willed, beautiful creations of God, entrusted to your care. Let grace fill your heart and your speech as you guide them. Let all harsh words fall away (and when you lose it, let them know that you are aware that isn’t how God wanted you to act and apologize to them and to Him).

2)      Be someone you want your kids to follow. A person that snuggles up to God to meet your needs… not a credit card, a career, a bottle, a creed or “friends.”  Look over your shoulder and you will see that they are following YOU. So make sure you are following Jesus. 

There is a good chance that you want to send the message to the world that walking with Jesus isn’t about RULES, but about RELATIONSHIP.  Make that your plan as you guide your children. We are big on teaching them the rules, but teach as Jesus did, asking them to follow you, learn from you, as you patiently show them how to live in relationship with Jesus while you build a unbreakable relationship with them. 

Starving Children

The kitchen is the place in many homes where crisis is likely. Not because there are sharp knives or fires, but because working in one can make you CRAZY!

Your brain gets exhausted with mind reading, which is a must. I have enough difficulty figuring out what I want to eat, let alone what may sound good to the rest of the family.

If you fail at the previous struggle, another common crisis in the kitchen will occur. It is the fanning fridge door phenomenon. Open the door. Look inside. Find nothing appealing. Close the door. Walk away. Return. Open the door…. Repeat steps countless times until the frugal family member reminds you of the energy cost involved with such behavior.

The endless chore of cook, clean, cook, clean, cook, clean tends to wear you down after a while but you can’t stop because apparently there are laws about feeding your kids … every single day!

…and how in the world does a fridge get so dirty when you only put clean things in it?

It is always a good practice to be thankful for the fact that you have food to feed your family, rather than complaining about the task of doing it. If you are reading this blog, it is likely that you don’t have to worry about your child starving… physically. But sometimes I wonder if we need to worry a little bit more about our kids suffering from spiritual starvation. Jesus understood the need to be fed by more than bread. He knew, as the Creator, that there is more within us than a stomach to fill. The souls of our kids must be provided for. The void that causes them to fan the door of excitement, adventure and risk taking in search of what they crave can be filled with the soul nutrition of the Bread of Life. God’s plan and purpose for them will supply all the adventure they need. The risks He will call them to take may look dangerous to those who don’t understand the Sovereignty of the Almighty, but to those who truly BELIEVE, they will be the adventure of a lifetime.

Feed your children. Care for their nutritional needs. What we put into them does matter. A steady diet of pop tarts and cereal will not supply their needs. By the same token, we are called to feed their souls. The part of them that is eternal is much more critical than the physical. Provide healthy spiritual snacks of Truths from the Bible… verses to remember and hide in their heart. ..Bible stories that teach them how to live as a follower of Jesus.  If you go on strike, they will starve. Follow through on the responsibility God has given you to train them. It’s the best thing you will ever do!

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Ambassadors at Home

Grandparents like to tell their story. They like to recount the events of their childhood; compare and contrast then and now. They like to share where they started and marvel at where they ended up. The mistakes and sins of their past have been wiped clean and they have a new life and they give God the credit for the changes he brought about so that they could have a great story to tell. This is part of that special bond between and grandparent and grandchild… the sharing of the story.

Parents are not nearly as eager to tell their story to their kids. Somehow we think that they need to see us as more than a real person who is without struggles and failures. It seems like we don’t want them to know our bad choices for fear that they will run right out and duplicate them. We bury our sin in the hopes that they never find out, lest they lose respect for us and complicate the already difficult process of raising them. Often our shame and not forgiving ourselves keeps us from telling our story to them.

There is, however, a story that parents MUST learn to tell their children… even if it involves revealing some of the flaws in our character. In order to teach our kids the way that they should go, we have to be able to tell them our story of walking with God, which may involve a time when we were the “prodigal in a distant land.” Children learn in a variety of ways, but a sure winner is from hearing the story. They can hear the story of how God protected Daniel from the lions or David from the Giant, but that is a story from a distant time and place. Hearing how God protected Dad from an unwise decision so that He could teach him a valuable lesson is much more real to them. They can hear how Delilah was a bad decision for Samson, but how much more beneficial to learn how a broken heart turned into a Divine rescue from an unhealthy relationship for Mom.

Make sure that your journey with Jesus isn’t personal and private, but learn to tell what He is doing in your life and your heart so that your kids haven’t a doubt that God is alive, in you, and working through you. They need to know that the good they see in you is a result of God at work. They need to know that the things that aren’t so good are areas where God is still teaching you. Let’s face it! They are not ever going to think you are a perfect human so stop trying to present yourself that way and allow them to watch your journey and learn. Use the wisdom you find in talking with God to humbly share what your kids need to hear, then trust Him to use your story to magnify the God they seek.

Remember…

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.”

2 Corinthians 5:20

Let's Make A Deal

Have you ever watched “Let’s Make A Deal” and witnessed the apprehension and anxiety involved as the contestants select their “prize?” The reason for the dilemma? The participants know that the wrong choice lands them with a ridiculous gag gift rather than a fabulous prize. It is important to select well, but there is absolutely no way of knowing how to do that. And the crowd cheers wildly, as if they know the best choice.

This time of year brings a plethora of Facebook photos of kids on their first day of school with comments from parents about how quickly their little one has grown up. In the blink of an eye they are teenagers, standing on the stage of life, trying to choose their “prize” while listening to a host of voices telling them what to choose. Except in this game the stakes are high and their decisions can change the course of their lives. But there is good news… in this game there is a handbook that gives the information they need to select wisely.

As parents and people of influence in the lives of our children, we must come to the place where we stop hoping for the best as our kids grow into adulthood and start putting every effort into showing them the source of all wisdom. Taking them to church is good. Buying them a Bible is good. Teaching good moral values is good. Teaching them to be respectful and responsible… good. But someday they will be onstage and there will be voices shouting from the audience and trying to convince them to choose what is behind the “wrong” curtain. We have to give them a foundation of truth to stand on. That Truth is found in one place. The Word of God.

How do you make God’s Word an integral part of their life? You can start by making it an integral part of your life. Get into the Word. Discover the truth and the grace that is woven throughout the pages. Eventually it will begin to live within you and you will find yourself speaking the truth that you are learning. It will begin to direct your conversations, your decisions, your attitudes. You will begin to understand what once seemed foreign. You will begin to seek answers to the things that you don’t understand. You will be shaped by what you find in the pages of scripture and it will be apparent to your children that there is something transformative about the Word of God.

When the world is screaming all kinds of options at your kids, I pray that you will have demonstrated for them where to go to find the wisdom they need to make the right decisions. I have never met anyone who found the discipline of Bible Study easy or fun in the beginning. But I have met plenty who wish they would have started sooner because they now see the extreme value in hiding God’s Word in their heart.

Let’s make a deal… pick up your Bible every day and begin reading Matthew. As you read, write down questions and observations. When you finish the book of Matthew, go to Mark, then Luke and John. If you miss a day, don’t beat yourself up, just get back at it. When you finish the Gospels… those first four books of the New Testament, let me know. There will be a prize…for real! It may take some of you a few weeks and others a few months. Maybe longer. Just do it! Your kids need to see you treating God’s Word like it matters to you if you expect it to ever matter to them. 

Being the CHURCH at Home

08192015 Bringing it home

Imagine spending three years following Jesus and then being charged with the task of keeping the good work going, guiding people to be followers of Jesus in his absence. Throw in all the different personalities and cultural backgrounds and family history and you have the recipe for a disaster! And there you have a fairly accurate picture of the first century church. A lot of rules, a lot of bosses, a lot of reason to avoid becoming a part of  “the Way.”

I love how they came to their senses, and listened to the Holy Spirit whispering to their spirit (Acts 15:28). His message was no different than that of their Lord. With all the differing opinions of how to be the church, the followers, the leaders that Jesus wanted them to be, the focus needed to narrow to what was most important… basically… don’t be immoral and don’t be rude, offending others (Acts 15:29).  That aligns directly with what Jesus said was most important… love God; love each other. 

Now, let’s bring that home. If you were to compare the environment in your home to the instructed atmosphere prescribed for the early church, would your family fit that model? What do your children learn from you about not offending or being rude?

Do you work hard to explain with love rather than lose your cool and yell?

Do you expect your children to know things and model behaviors that you have possibly failed to teach them?

Do you lead them with patience so they feel valued?

Do you explain the correct way to say something so that it isn’t rude or just tell them they are being rude?

Do you allow unkind words and actions or are there consequences for them?

Do you use unkind words or actions at home?

How about the immorality issue? Do you even think about comparing what you claim as right and wrong with morality as defined in scripture? Maybe you don’t know what the Bible has to say about moral values. Maybe it is time to read and learn. I believe that 2 Timothy 3:16-17 is true; that

“God has breathed life into all of scripture.

It is useful for teaching us what is true.

It is useful for correcting our mistakes,

It is useful for making our lives whole again.

It is useful for training us to do what is right.

By using Scripture, a man of God can be

completely prepared to do every good thing.”

If we allow society to be the moral compass that directs us in raising our children and making decisions for our families, we have chosen the wrong source of information disguised as “truth.” If you think the Bible is outdated and you can choose your values without it, you may well be in the majority, however, you will discover at some point that the Truth of God’s Word is a most precious gift. It is a lamp to our feet and a light for our path and without it there will be much wandering in the wilderness looking for what is good and right and healthy for our families.

Maybe we need to work harder at learning to follow God's morality and start being kind and considerate to others so that our kids will learn the prescription given by God's Spirit, for those who would lead others to the heart of God. Are you on-board? You will never regret it!

A Healthy Heart

Last week was a sweet, precious, relaxing time with my husband. Every day we found time to just “be.” We sat by the lake and enjoyed the sun reflecting off the water and witnessed the rare sighting of a bald eagle swooping down to secure his afternoon snack. We experienced a continual peace that comes from knowing that your life and your future is literally in the hands of a good and faithful God, who apparently has a plan.

The week prior, a heart catheterization revealed that my husband, Dana, had 90%  blockage in one major artery and 100% in the other two, yet he never suffered a heart attack and passed his stress test with flying colors. Doctors and nurses alike told us that he should not be alive with that kind of blockage. Their only explanation, “God isn’t finished with you yet.” They sent him home to rest and prepare for a quadruple bypass the following week. So we went home filled with gratitude to God for sparing his life. And we rested quietly, praising God for his mercy, and thoroughly enjoying our time together.

I suppose knowing God had spared his life on multiple occasions helped us to feel at ease about the upcoming surgery. The prayers of many wonderful, caring people held us up as we waited and even the day of surgery, there was an inexplicable peace, but as I waited with family and friends, I felt an extreme need to find a quiet place to sit in awe at the feet of the One who was truly in charge of the way our day would end.

During this time of meditation, I envisioned the heart of my husband in the hands of the surgeon and the surgeon in the hands of my Savior. Medical science is a wonderful thing, but without God’s decision to spare Dana’s life, none of that mattered. What’s more, the skill of the surgeon to “re-plumb” and save Dana’s heart…a miracle beyond my comprehension… so that we could have more time together this side of eternity was insignificant compared the importance of the Great Physician, who has the ability to “re-shape” our hearts in preparation for life with Him here now AND throughout eternity.

I also pondered how our hearts often seem healthy on the outside because we are “passing the tests” just like Dana did at the cardiologist office. We can do a lot of things right and feel we are passing the test for heaven, but a godly heart isn’t a heart that is always doing things right. It is a heart through which the Spirit of God can freely flow. When Dana allowed the cardiologist to look inside of his heart, the blockages were discovered that could have taken his life on multiple occasions. We must become vulnerable enough to allow God to examine us deeply and see what might be stopping the flow of God’s Spirit and threatening our spiritual life. By allowing Him to re-plumb our heart so that the Holy Spirit has the freedom to guard, protect and guide us, we will never need to fear, because we will walk into eternity with Him when He calls us home.

I am sure that, 5 days post op, Dana would tell you that a heart renovation is no walk in the park. Many adjustments to normal life must be made. You don’t just hop up and start where you left off, but you rest and listen and obey the instructions you are given. From the beginning, consent forms were being signed, one after another, stating that you understand the changes that are coming. But these changes mean LIFE. No changes are made without your consent. The Great Physician waits for your permission to enter your heart and your life. Are you ready to open your heart to be re-shaped to house the Spirit of God? Are you ready to allow him free flow through your thoughts and attitudes and pass-times and expenditures? If you are, you can expect LIFE to be abundant and free, without the fear of death. New life will emerge and you will not regret it!

“Look! I am knocking at the door.

If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in

And we will enjoy a meal together as friends.”

Revelation 3:20

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.

My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

John 10:10

The Good Shepherd

Summer camp was amazing! The kids were active and attentive, loud and listening, giggling and growing, energetic and exhausted… everything you could want to see in a healthy child. What a blessing it was to have some concentrated time with them. Precious memories!

Our theme was the Australian Walkabout… journeying toward the path of the Good Shepherd and we learned from Psalm 23. Six simple verses that can change the trajectory of your life.

“The Lord is my shepherd. He gives me everything I need…”  He doesn’t withhold the good things because if I am truly following, he will lead me to a place where I can rest and feast on what will sustain my life…. “He lets me rest in fields of green grass.” And He doesn’t lead me toward the danger of over-extending myself…  of temptation… of confusion. If I am walking toward these things, I have obviously taken a detour from his path,  because… “He leads me beside QUIET waters.”

“He gives me new strength…” Not to DO more, but to BE more… and that can only happen if … “He guides me in the right paths for the honor of his name…” So we must say “NO!” to temptation to do or say anything that will bring shame to the word Christian because if we don’t reflect His goodness and love, how can we hope to cause the world to long for a relationship with Him?

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,” and that valley looks different to each one of us… “I will not be afraid.” Because I know that … “You are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff comfort me.” I must not wander toward the enemy of my soul. You will fight for me and rescue me because you created me to be with you forever. I need to understand that your “NO” is for my good, as is your “YES” because You see the blessings and the dangers lurking on the path ahead of me and it doesn’t scare you a bit because you know that I will be safe as long as I allow you to be in control. Then, in spite of the way the situation looks to me, I am safe with you as… “You prepare a feast for me right in front of my enemies. You pour oil on my head….” Like a miraculous bug spray that actually keeps those nasty camp mosquitos at bay, you protect me from pesky thoughts that cause my words and attitudes to swell, distract and irritate. I know that my life is blessed and I have so much more than I need because, if I will only look I can see that… “My cup runs over. I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. And I will live in the house of the Lord forever...”  Just as you planned from the day you envisioned who I would become so that I could fulfill the plan that You made for me.

Keeping those lessons alive in my heart as I proceed through a valley that I had not anticipated. I came home from camp to discover that my husband of 39 years is in need of quadruple bypass surgery. Maybe the lessons I prepared for the kids at camp was really for me, because my heart is at peace, knowing that the Good Shepherd is in control and is guiding our lives down the right path to bring honor to His name. It’s not about me. It’s not about Dana. It’s about Jesus, and may He be honored in all that happens in the valley and on the other side of it.

Kingdom Seeds

Have you ever really thought about the fact that we are called to build a Kingdom?

When I was a little girl I built my own little kingdom in my bedroom closet. I had everything I needed to sustain life for myself and my baby doll, Kitten. I decided who could come and go and allowed my sister to come in frequently and my brother… NEVER!

In my teen years I created my own little art studio in a tiny little attic room and that was my Creativity Kingdom. I was the sole inhabitant of that Creativity Kingdom (largely because I couldn’t fit another person in the room) and was completely in charge of all that was created there.

When I moved out of my parent’s house and got married, we built a home where my husband and I could raise our family in our own Brady Kingdom. We basically made the rules, created the economy and decided how our kingdom would look and the way it would be run.

At this stage in my life, I am much more focused on another Kingdom. The Kingdom of God that can only be seen by the fruit it produces. Sometimes we get confused about what builds God’s Kingdom and we begin to jump through the proper hoops, stop certain behaviors and begin new habits. But these are not the things that build God’s Kingdom. Conversely, they are the result of the Kingdom of God growing within our hearts.  God plants the seed of faith in the depths of our soul when we open our heart to His leadership and it grows by his mercy and grace as He reconciles us to Himself by strengthening and molds us into the person He designed us to be.

Jesus compares the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed in Mark 4:30-32. A tiny seed, yet within it there is the power to become a plant that is large enough for birds to find a nesting place in its shade. In fact, all seeds carry within themselves the ability to become a plant or tree that will grow and produce, given the proper nurturing environment.  Knowing that to be true, when we think of Jesus illustration, what is the condition of the seed of faith that was planted in you when you first said “Yes” to following Jesus?  Is God growing it into something that produces fruit or is it being crowded out by things that keep it from growing? Does your life reflect that God is growing in you? Do your words and actions and choices of how to spend your time, energy and money indicate that God is growing YOU to be the person He created you to be? Or does your heart harbor the things of an earthly kingdom that are not allowing God’s Kingdom space to grow?

Parents, can I share a word of caution with you? If you want your kids to become the God followers that will have a secure place in God’s Kingdom in heaven, then help them to see His Kingdom here… in your heart. Help them to understand the parable of the mustard seed. Guide them to an understanding that inheriting heaven means allowing God to grow and produce godly fruit in their lives now. Children should learn from an early age that God’s seed cannot grow in a heart crowded with sin and selfishness. Lovingly guide, just as Jesus did with his followers. Point out the sin that is holding them back, but with patience, understanding that we all struggle to make the right choices… even parents.

We won’t always get it right, but every day is a new opportunity to make the right choice, nurturing the seed of faith in our hearts and theirs, by exposing it to godliness and eliminating the wickedness that will keep growth from happening.

May God’s Kingdom grow strong within your heart.

Parenting in a Biblical Void

According to C. S. Lewis, every moral rule is created to prevent a breakdown of the human machine. God’s laws are provided as a gift to us so that we can function as we were created to function. It is the manual for the operation of our daily lives. That moral rule of which he speaks is found in God’s Word, the Bible.  Many would say that it is obsolete or a book for the weak who can’t figure life out on their own, but I would contest that as I look at the culture that is drifting from the foundational truth we find in scripture. I see a place where humanity fills the void in their lives with drugs, alcohol, promiscuity and an unquenchable desire to acquire more and more of the things of this world, yet they are overcome with emptiness. I see a place where God’s most prized creation is bought and sold like a piece of furniture. I see a culture where children are not valued enough to be trained to travel the path God has laid out for them so that His plan might be fulfilled. I see a culture full of people who refuse to be held accountable for their actions and legislation being born continually because of our neglect, irresponsibility and blindness to the laws of God. One has to wonder how many laws have been written because of our refusal to “Love our neighbor as ourselves.”

As parents, we have a huge responsibility when it comes to our culture. As we train our children, we are shaping the next generation. I often hear parents complain that they feel powerless. They can’t discipline their children in public for fear of being arrested. Really? Condoning bad behavior is right and correcting it is wrong? In what world is that alright? They can’t control their child’s schedule because of the mandate from the coach. Really? Check their birth certificate. Is the coaches name there or was that child a gift from God to you? They can’t provide proper nutrition or rest or have any time as a family because they are constantly on the road going from this game to that lesson to this appointment. Really? Who hijacked your calendar and created that schedule?

We DO have a choice, but we will eventually lose that choice if we sit back and allow society to dictate what our values and beliefs should be. It is well past time for us to take back our homes, establish our values based on the Word of God and teach those values to our children.

Do you know what God’s word says about morality? Do you know what it says about love and respect and responsibility? Do you know how to shape the heart of your child so that they will find room for God as they grow into the age of accountability? You will learn these things in the Word of God and in association with others who are learning and striving to be godly parents.

Teaching your child to be “good” is nice, but what will happen with the cultural shifts that redefine for us the meaning of “good?”  There is ONE TRUTH and that is the foundation of all that I believe. That Truth is found in the Bible. It is God’s message of love to us so that the machinery of humanity can run smoothly, without a glitch. I don’t know about you, but I am not willing for any society to dictate to me how my child should grow or behave or find their way. I believe God’s word to be the only way to establish a worthwhile pattern for life that guides us to an eternity with Him. If you will take the time to dive into scripture you will find wisdom and knowledge that will equip you to be the leader in your home and community that God is calling you to be. And that, my friend, is the Truth!

Regulations

This week as I was spending time in the Psalms I could not help but notice how frequently the psalmist praises God for his “law,” his “regulations,” his “statutes,” his “commands,” his “decrees.”  Prior to now, my mind has always gone to the 10 commandments when I read such things. Although they are a valuable guide to live by, it just seems like meditating on them and writing songs about them and praising God for them continually is not something that would fill my heart on a regular basis.

This morning I read Psalm 119:62-64

“I rise at midnight to thank you for your just regulations.

I am a friend to anyone who fears you -

Anyone who obeys your commandments.

O Lord, your unfailing love fills the earth; teach me your decrees.”

I often rise at midnight… and 2 a.m. … and 4 a.m…. and seldom is my mind filled with praise for God’s just regulations. It is more like a feeling that He slipped up when he made my body and this shouldn’t be happening!

Then it hit me. Everything God made is systematic, orderly, and right. He made all things with an ebb and flow; darkness and light; work time and rest time; laughter and tears; young and old; strength and weakness.  All for a purpose. All according to His perfect timing. The rotation of the Earth – it’s orbit around the sun. The changing seasons. The growth and development of all He created. Everything has a system of orderliness.

In our lives we spend much time trying to keep our head above water, frantically paddling our way upstream trying to survive. Do we take the time to realize what is truly happening around us? How the Lord is working? When I look at my days… weeks… maybe even months I often see more frantic frenzy than I do systematic order. And that isn’t a good thing.

I believe God created us for order. Our bodies function in a particular order by his design. We have no right to sabotage God’s plan and purpose by filling our world with the unneeded so that there is no space for the valuable order that was intended.

I often think that our kids are being reshaped by all the activities we condone in their lives. They no longer grasp the concept of stillness; quietness; order. They see our frantic pace and it becomes their normal. Rushing from one activity to the next is the American way. Being still and experiencing what God has for us has become abnormal and we strive hard to find the time and space for it when we feel God tugging on our heart and proclaiming His agony over our separation from Him.

My life needs more order. I need to stop running to the “fire” to douse the flames and start doing more things systematically so that the “fires” don’t keep springing up all around me. I need a schedule that is the norm and I need to say NO to the things that keep me from the “regulations” I was created to observe by the One who loves me and pines for me to slow down and listen and enjoy His presence.

Parenting has a great deal of “fires” that tend to disrupt our plans. That is somewhat the natural rhythm of parenting. But don’t create more by allowing what is unnecessary to overtake the systematic plan of your Creator. Listen to His rhythm and rest in His arms as He whispers to you of His perfect plan for your day. Allow Him time to speak while you wait with Him, observing His beautiful and perfect order for your life.

Hearing The Heart

When a child’s heart is broken over something that to you seems insignificant, does that make their pain truly insignificant? So many times all we see is the mess in their room that is keeping them from finding their favorite toy and we totally miss the heartbreak they are feeling over a presumed loss. Is it possible that their room is a mess because we have dropped the ball and not taught them to put something away before getting something else out? Maybe we just haven’t taken the time to work alongside them. A lack of consistency with our expectations may be the reason for the mess. At any rate, now they are crying and we are angry and there is a lost opportunity to show compassion.

Sunday the pastor said the proper way to grieve with a friend is to have a big heart with ears. What if we were to do that when a child is sad or disappointed? Perhaps, if we would listen with our heart we would hear more than whining. Maybe we would get to the bottom of their sorrow and be able to aid in their healing.

Most people struggle to see God for who He is. It is a concept that is above our comprehension. Because of that we often see Him through the childhood experience we have with our parents. Based on the way you listen to your children when they are broken-hearted, will they someday see God as compassionate? Hearing their prayers? Too busy for their problems?  When you tell them to “get over it” or “figure it out” are you painting the accurate picture of a heavenly Father who wants to walk with them in their hour of need and guide them through the difficult stretches of their journey?

I’m not suggesting that you coddle the kids through life and never allow them to learn to overcome adversity or be strong in tough situations. God doesn’t do that with us. I love the statement credited to Toby Mac: “Sometimes God doesn’t change our circumstances because he is trying to change our heart.”  We can’t run in and fix the problems our kids face, but we can walk with them through the storm, listening, loving, and crying with them as they learn to maneuver their way to maturity.

How about a little less lecturing and a little more listening this week? It could transform your relationship with your kids and change the atmosphere in your home.