Brand New

"I am making everything new."

One year for my birthday I asked Dana to spend a Saturday with me "junk" shopping. I love to find old things and give them new purpose. But.... they must serve a purpose other than to collect dust. When there is a purpose for something old, it's like it has been given new life. A galvanized pail becomes a planter, an old pitcher hides my stash of chocolate chips, a cranberry glass cookie/candy jar stores the coffee. It doesn't become new, but it is given new purpose, which makes it like new. 

I believe that this desire that I have carries on into my calling, my vocation, my ministry. I love watching old scars begin to heal as bitterness and anger are washed away, leaving a fresh sheen of forgiveness; old arguments get recycled into new perspectives; marriages take on new life and passion returns. All of this because the One who made us never loses sight of the reason He did so. Each one of us has a purpose and sometimes we get on the wrong path and it takes us longer to get there, but the One who made all things good is in the business of making all things new again, 

It seems, during the quarantine and social isolation, many have taken to clearing out the clutter and making the house look newer and fresher and more efficiently run. Perhaps you might take a look inside at some attitudes and hurts that need to be eliminated. Your heart will be made fresh again, as relationships heal.Your life will be more meaningful as old habits are recycled into new patterns. A word of caution: Don't try this alone. There is plenty of your own "elbow grease" to invest but having a Godly mentor, life coach, or counselor on the other end of the saw sure does make it easier to cut through the issues. 

Most importantly, you need to know that in this transformation, the real and lasting change only lasts a moment at a time and requires that we hold tightly to the hand of the Great Repurposer. He is the only one that can truly make your marriage new; your relationships new; your habits new. He is the One who knows exactly why you are here, so why not give Him a chance to show you and direct your steps. 

The Obstacles In Our Path

Let me tell you a little something about obstacles. They slow you down. They get in the way of accomplishing what needs to be done. They flood over you some days until you can't catch your breath.  We may not have put them there, but perhaps we didn't pay attention to the sign warning us about them. We failed to follow the DETOUR designed to assist us. We may absolutely hate those obstacles, but we've become oblivious to the way they impede our progress. Sure, they slow us down, but eventually the pace seems acceptable. 

I have done a good bit of counseling in my years in ministry and have observed that marriages can get bogged down and eventually dissolve due to the obstacles that have become commonplace and are not addressed. So many times the DETOUR sign is ignored and they just keep moving toward the danger. Other times there is no detour, but there are so many pot holes that marriage can become like Indiana roads in the spring. We learn to maneuver around them, hoping someone fills them before we wreck a tire. Or worse. And then, one very dark night, we miss seeing it in time and ....

Whether you are responsible for the obstacle(s) to your success because of actions, attitudes, behaviors, habits, or an unwillingness to see things from a different perspective OR you are not responsible for them and circumstances beyond your control invited these obstacles onto your path, you have to decide if you are going to use them to grow or let them slow your development. If you choose the latter, you won't arrive at the destination you hoped for. In this manner, you have a responsibility for these obstacles even if you have nothing to do with their appearance. You can choose to continually allow them to trip you up or you can use them as stepping stones to get you to the other side.

Ignoring the obstacles in your relationships that keep it from honoring God will not end well. Though it will not likely be easy to address them, if you don't expand your mind to see from a different perspective, and begin to shift the obstacles out of your way, they will result in sinful attitudes and behaviors. Those behaviors will keep you from winning the race set out for you by the One that made you for that particular race. The man who wrote to the Hebrew Christ followers in the first century says it something like this...

Let us get rid of obstacles that get in our way 

and the sin that holds on to us so tightly, 

and let us run with determination

 the race that lies before us.

Hebrews 12:1

Maybe it isn't a marriage relationship that is filled with obstacles. Perhaps it is something else that is holding on so tightly to you that you have lost your determination and you are losing the race. Whatever it is, find the help that you need to get to the finish line. Be the winner you were made to be. Whether that is as an employer or employee; a husband or a wife; a student or a teacher; a mom or a dad - address the obstacles, do the next right thing, let go of sinful attitudes and actions and be determined to give it all you've got to receive the trophy.

Friends

Are you tired of isolation? Are your kids missing their friends to the point of losing their minds? Do you crave sitting down to dinner at a restaurant with your friends? I think I know the answer for most of you. Isolation is difficult, otherwise it wouldn't be used as punishment! As important as time alone is, friendships are a necessary part of life. We were not intended to do life alone. Friendships are essential.

Dana and I have been watching a reality show that seeks to recapture the spirit, the courage, the trials and the victories of the settlers of 1870 called Pioneer Quest. Two couples are given a plot of land, era appropriate tools and supplies to start their homestead in Canada much like couples would have 150 years ago. On the episode we watched last night, one of the foursome was struggling to be grateful for the help of her neighbor. She felt like she was somehow breaking the pioneer code  by accepting assistance. She wanted to experience all the feelings of a pioneer woman, including the loneliness and isolation they certainly endured when settling in a barren land in 1870. What she needed to remember is that our spirit needs the connection of others in order to grow and fully develop into who we were made to become. We were made for connection.
.
Friends truly are one of the best gifts we can have, and finding the ones that will be with us through the valleys and on the mountaintops is a wonderful thing. Having that person be your spouse is priceless. If that isn't your situation, make it so! Decide to be that friend to your lifelong companion. Be there for them in the good times and the bad. Know their heart and their hurts and the motivations behind those actions that sometimes get under your skin. Become their most valuable natural resource and make growing old together a beautiful thing.

How blessed we are to have friends at home and outside of our homes. Hold on to them tightly and thank God for those people who cheer you on and who have the courage to confront you when you take steps in the wrong direction. Tell them they are valued and learn to be that kind of friend. If the message on the painting is the right one, feel free to print it and give it to that friend that has been with you on your journey. Let them know their value in your life.

I don't have a mailing address for God, who is with all of us on our journey, walking before us to guide our way in the dark times, behind us to push us to be our best, and beside us to laugh and cry and listen....so give it to the one who He has given you that has skin on. That is slightly imperfect and maybe somewhat annoying at times. And never forget what a gift this friend is.

Created for Dependence

What would happen if you stood a 2 month old infant on her feet and said to her, "You've got this!"? She will crash to the ground because she is unprepared to walk. Her body has not developed and her mind doesn't even understand your command to walk. She was never intended to walk as a 2 month old baby. And that is okay. Her parents don't love her less for crashing. They know she is totally dependent on others to help her get from place to place. Clearly, she can't handle this alone.

By the same token, you were never intended to manage your life on this planet alone. You were made for paradise and communion and harmony with and dependence upon your Creator. There will always be voices that tell us otherwise; that we don't need God; we don't need a crutch; we don't need the church; we don't need the Bible; we don't need prayer; we don't need to love everyone. "You've got this!" they cry and every single time we try to go it alone and do our own thing, there is a crash. We saw that happen with Adam and Eve and all throughout history and it is still happening today.

No matter how strong or smart or spiritual you get; no matter how disciplined you are; no matter how much you want to be a godly example... you just cannot do that on your own strength. You can't handle that alone. You need a Guide, a Master, a Savior, a Shepherd that you can lean on and learn from every single day. God isn't disappointed in you for that because He made you to need Him. It's right there in the Divine schematic. He made us and was pleased with the design. But without His power source, we are going to crash. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will happen eventually because we were created to run on His strength and wisdom, not our own.

Knowing this to be a truth of humankind, perhaps the greatest gift you can give your kids is to let them see you leaning into God's strength, admitting your weakness and your need for Him. Sure, you are their Super Hero... at least for the first half of childhood... and that feels pretty good. But, if they are to see that they were designed to depend on God, they have to see that modeled and know that all that makes you a hero comes from leaning on Jesus.