Stick Shift Parenting

 When I was learning to drive we had a Chrysler Newport... a.k.a tank... and a mustang with a manual transmission... a.k.a demon. That gave me the unforgettable opportunity to learn to drive both. I'm not sure who thought I would have the coordination to feather out that clutch and start smoothly after stopping at a traffic light at the top of a hill on State Street. Pretty sure it was Dad. He always believed in me and had high hopes that I could accomplish anything I set out to do. No matter how many times I stalled or how long the line of impatient traffic was behind me, he never got rattled or impatient. He was just there to remind me repeatedly of what to do and how to do it. 

As I ponder the sermon Sunday about Parent Guilt, I reflect back to the similarities between learning to be a parent and learning to drive a stick. (I am currently wondering how many reading this will have no idea what I am talking about. Go ask your grandpa!). There is so much finesse that goes into feathering out the clutch while sliding your right foot off the brake and giving just the right amount of pressure to the gas pedal as you simultaneously remove your left foot from the clutch that it feels like nothing short of a miracle when you get it right without killing the engine or leaving part of our tires on the pavement. It isn't unlike parenting. How much do you give and where do you give it? How much pressure do you apply without crossing the line? How in the world do you get the timing just right so that things go smoothly? How much do you hang on and how much do you let go? How do you parent according to your convictions without worrying about the line of people judging behind you?

I vividly remember the day that I went from trying to start using all the memorized instructions to starting just by feeling what I needed to do. That made all the difference and from then on, it was just a natural motion. That moment in parenting comes when you .... well... hmmm.... nope! I don't think that day exists! As soon as we figure things out, they are often onto the next phase or stage of development and you have to learn all over again. Just like when you can start and stop and shift gears flawlessly... and then your husband installs a high performance clutch in the car that is so stiff it takes all of your weight and both of your feet to depress it and sliding that right foot onto the gas throws gravel a country mile! 

Here is the point of all this...parenting is hard some days and not so hard other days, but it doesn't ever just flow smoothly so that you never stall out or burn rubber. And that is a very good thing because it reminds us to go to Our Father for advice. It is far too important a task to be something you can learn to  do on your own. You will have victories and regrets and you should never ever try to parent without the help of the One who created your child with a purpose in mind. 

There is no vaccination against parental failure. You will succeed one moment and fail the next. You are human and hopefully you will keep trying until you can move forward effectively without attracting a whole lot of attention. If you are in the driver's seat  through this journey called parenting and you hope to arrive at your destination without killing the engine, (or the child) listen to the Father that is sitting beside you, giving you the instruction you need and reminding you to ignore the honks of the world. He made you for this moment and He believes in you.