Kayak Parenting

School has started. Just like every year at this time... only different. So much is changing and yet so much is the same. The kids are growing up. They are observing the world around them every single moment. They repeat the words we say and behave like they see other kids behave. Why can''t they just pick up the good and run with it? Why do they choose the wrong direction and follow the wrong example? The short answer.... because they are kids!

Kid's are terrific at observing the world around them, but lousy at interpreting it with maturity and discernment... again... because they are kids! They see and they do. It's that simple. There is little thought that goes into their actions and they need you to give them guidance and direct their behavior. Left to their own devices, they are likely to find the edge of the cliff.

There are many ways to parent your little one. There are many possible outcomes. 

• If you take the "Hands Off" approach and let them discover life with all it's wonder so they can become who they were intended to be, you have essentially placed them in a kayak on the river and sent them on their way to manage the current and the rapids with no paddle to keep them safe. While they observe the world, they will not see the danger ahead... because they lack maturity, and even if they did see the danger, they don't have the tools to avoid it
• If you take them to church or give them a Bible or read them a Bible story every night, and tell them NO when they want to do something that you disapprove of, you have placed a paddle in their hands, but not told them how to use it. There is a possibility that they will figure it out, connect the dots and find a way to steer clear of the most dangerous places, but there is a greater chance they will take the path of least resistance and find themselves at the brink of the falls...because they lack the wisdom and maturity to make right choices.
• If you give them instructions on how to use the paddle and help them practice in the still waters they will be so much better equipped to be out on their own. When they get far from shore, however, fear or curiosity might come into play causing them to lose their bearings and drift into situations they feel helpless to control... because that is what a child will do
• If you get in a kayak and paddle along beside them, you can show them, by example, how to manage the current, how to tilt the paddle, how to steer away from the rocks, how to stay calm and paddle on. Now they are more equipped to leave your side and go into the river without you because you have been by their side, directing them. 
• If you lose it and tip your kayak, it may be humiliating, but pull yourself together, tell them what you did wrong and show them how to right the problem. They, too, will make mistakes and need to know about grace and forgiveness and how to get topside with the least amount of injury to anyone.

When it comes to parenting, every moment is a teachable moment. Allowing them to run a muck without consequences teaches them that they can do as they please and you have no authority in their lives. When you run to their rescue with every problem they encounter, they score a zero in coping and problem solving. Jesus never simply healed the sick without a lesson involved. He showed love and grace and mercy and forgiveness AND He gave direction. He didn't worry about damaging their psyche by telling them they were wrong because there was love in his tone and guidance to get them on the right path. 

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other,

 making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."

Ephesians 4:2