Troubled Hearts

Sometimes there is, deep inside of me, a profound sense that I am utterly alone. I have lost all those who shaped my childhood and made me who I am and without them I fear that nobody can truly know me. Some days, I'm not even sure I know who I am. Those feelings don't represent reality, but they are very real. I have lived with my dear husband far longer than I did my parents and nobody knows me like he does. I have precious friends who I can be completely transparent with and they know me very well. But some days, I just feel alone and lost without my parents and the aunt and uncle who had the most profound impact on me. 

I am so grateful for the heritage that is mine and the fact that I have had such special people who impacted me so profoundly that I still long to sit down and chat with them. I am grateful for those friends who know what I need even when I don't. I would be lost without Dana, a companion who walks patiently and lovingly beside me throughout the journey of my life, and for children and grandchildren who bring me great joy. But, as amazing as my life and my people are, sometimes there is still darkness and pain.

I know that I am not alone and that if you are breathing, you have experienced pain and loss and  possibly utter loneliness. For some of us, that is not a place to be feared because it points us directly to the Comforter. The Advocate. The Counselor. That's where I find myself. In the old rocking chair my Dad bought me the year that he died, looking within myself, finding the place that the Spirit of God inhabits and just quietly listening for His direction; His comfort; His peace.

If you find yourself in a place where the waters seem troubled and you struggle to know where to turn, try sitting still and listening to the Spirit within you. He will give you what you need and remind you that you are not alone and forgotten. If you are a follower of Jesus, you need not be afraid for you are never alone. His Spirit lives within you and will give you all you need.