Compassionate Listening

Parents are probably on the go more now than in the history of humanity. Rushing around on a regular basis really interferes with listening with your ears and your eyes. When that is impeded, you fail to truly know all that you need to know about your developing child. It is important to slow down and allow time for important things, like just sitting and listening to your child. Remember, they are new at the things you have been doing for years. They haven’t had all the experiences you have had to help you negotiate the struggles of life. They lack the triumphs that will help them conquer their fears. They don’t always know how to express their sorrows.

Often we just brush aside the things that seem like the end of the world to a child. Have you ever caught yourself thinking or maybe even saying, “They think this is rough, what will they do when they have real struggles?” “If you don’t develop a thicker skin you are going to be crying all the time.” “You know that kids are going to make fun of you if you cry over every little thing.”  When your child is hurting, you have a golden opportunity to show your love and concern. They need to know that you are there for them and that you will take them seriously. All too soon they will be teenagers and if you don’t learn to listen intently and care genuinely about what they are saying and feeling as children, don’t expect them to confide in you as adolescents.

It is no easy task to sort out what is authentic sorrow and what is simply a pity party for a child. You, their parent know them best. You must listen and determine whether they need to feel sad over a loss or whether they are simply willing themselves to shed tears simply to get your attention or affection. If the latter is true, maybe they are asking you to listen and embrace their needs. If the stories become exaggerated and unbelievable, either they have a great imagination or maybe they are just begging you to listen to them.

How is your level of compassion when your child is hurting? Do they know that you care? Are you willing to listen to their story? Can you remember when you were their age… how disappointment felt to you? God made us to feel. That is reality. Help your kids to know that you want to hear how they feel and walk with them through the sadness, fears and struggles. Rejoice with them in their jubilant times. In showing them you care you are opening their hearts to know a God who cares about them and will listen and comfort them in the valleys of life.

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18