Living Generously

What does the phrase, “Live generously,” mean to you?

I think that we can all agree that Jesus taught us to be generous. To give freely of ourselves, our talents, our resources, our time, our money.  But, let’s take a look at what living generously may look like at home. After all, if we don’t live generously in front of our kids, how will they learn this God-honoring quality?

Giving PRESENCE generously is one of the best ways to value another person. Listening intently to them, even if you know what they are going to say. Listen with your whole body. Making eye contact with them as you spend time together. Asking questions that allow them to see that you have been hearing them.  Watch their favorite show with them, just to be there and know what they are hearing. Sit beside them while they do their homework or read the paper. Share a gentle touch to let them feel your affection for them.

Giving TIME generously. Be very careful how you invest yourself outside of your home. There are people under your roof that need the best you have to offer. Saying YES to so many things that are good and fun and helpful to others leaves us with little energy to spend quality time with our own children… or parents… or spouse. Use your calendar and color code it. Make family activities a different color than work or church or friends or community volunteering. Make sure you are scheduling time with them other than just games and concerts and other school functions mandatory for parents to attend. Game nights…movie nights…breakfast dates…one on one trips to the grocery… playing Barbies… shooting baskets… whatever they enjoy… pencil them in. And do the same with your husband or wife.  Give them the best you have to give and you will never regret it.

Giving GRACE generously. As a parent, we sometimes are tired and fall short in the grace department. Every little thing seems to get under our skin. Remind yourself, in these times, that a child will always be a child when they are young. They will never be a miniature adult. They will  behave badly until you teach them that behavior is not acceptable. They only know what we teach them. They aren’t born with the knowledge of what is right and wrong in your household. It is your job to teach that. If they learn something from someone that doesn’t have the same values, you have just landed yourself another teaching opportunity. They are children and they need grace as they are learning all the things that you have had a lifetime to learn. Be quick to teach them what is expected… but not quick to berate them for doing something you have not yet taught them NOT to do.  And while we are talking grace… think about what they see happening between you and your spouse. Are you quick with grace, being sympathetic to the circumstances that may have caused them to act or react poorly?  Have you considered the fact that they have no clue that what they said or did was offensive or hurtful? Grace extended in a marriage is what builds relationships, but it requires open communication without the anger. Simply stating your thoughts and feelings in a way they understand will help them to see how what they said or did was hurtful. Stuffing your hurts is not showing grace. That is unhealthy and ends badly 100% of the time. Speaking the truth in love is the best way to resolve conflict before it happens. It will build your grace muscles.

Giving HONOR generously. Often times we glide through life caring little about the things that our spouse cares about tremendously. What seems ridiculous to us is automatically labeled unimportant and we go about with our business, as usual. The Bible teaches us to honor one another above ourselves. And that means that we pay attention to what is important to our spouse and make a note of it. Know their love language. Do they feel most loved when you spend quality time with them? When they receive a thoughtful gift from you? When you show your love through acts of service? Is physical touch what they need to feel your love?  Perhaps they need words of affirmation to feel valued. Even if these things feel foreign to you, learn to do them. They will only feel foreign until they become part of your daily activities. Make these ways of honoring your family a priority… with your spouse and your children.  To know what someone you love needs in order to feel your love and refuse to do it because it seems weird to you is withholding love. That dishonors them and it dishonors God, because He has called us to honor one another above ourselves. Even if it feels weird.

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. Practice giving what your family needs beginning now and next Thanksgiving they will be doubly thankful for you!