Why Can't We Be Friends?

Can you tell me who your child’s best friend is? They probably beg to go there and play or invite them to spend the night every single weekend. It’s not difficult to figure out who they enjoy spending time with. But do they have friends who are not good for them? Friends that are full of sass and disrespect? After a few hours together, you may feel that you have to reprogram your child and remind them that there are rules in your house and that is not acceptable behavior.

Here is a free tip for you…  But it will cost you time. If you have a child visit in your home, it is entirely appropriate to spend time with the kids while they are together. There is a strong possibility that the visitor has parents who are too busy to connect with their children and you may be the most influential adult in their life. The only way you know what is being said and done is if you make yourself available while that child is in your home. And, this can actually be beneficial all the way through High School.  Truly! Our youngest would get aggravated with his teenage friends because they didn’t want to go straight down to the basement to hang out or play games, but enjoyed visiting with us first. Having an adult who will take the time to listen… and I even enlisted their help from time to time… is so valuable to kids that rarely see or speak to their parents. And, trust me… it happens!

Now, if I were to ask you children, who is your mom’s best friend… or dad’s? Would they select a person who makes you a better person or would it be someone who pulls you down, makes you grumpy, stays out too late, stirs envy in you? Interesting how we feel like we need to protect our kids from certain families, but we think we are immune to the negative influences of others. Who are the adults in your life that make you a better person? Who is it that will not be afraid to challenge you when you are playing with fire or are being unkind to your spouse? Who will hold up the mirror in front of you when you are being ugly so that you can get yourself turned around?

I frequently see disciples of Jesus spending most of their social time with those who do not claim to be followers… and maybe don’t even believe that Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus wasn’t afraid to visit with the people who were desperately lost in their sin, but the people He spent most of His time with were the folks who wanted to grow and become more Godly. Mom and Dad, if you hope to impress upon your kids the importance of choosing friends wisely, consider who your friends are and who you spend the most time with. Do they make you better? Or do they drag you down?