Too Busy To Be A Sheep

We have heard the parable that Jesus told about the sheep and the goats in order to help His followers understand the importance of giving to those in need.  Jesus made it clear that by ignoring the problems that we truly CAN do something about, we are ignoring Him. When we give to those who have no way of repaying us, we are giving to Him.  

Maybe, right now, you don’t feel you are in a place to help anyone. We sometimes find ourselves without margin in our lives, both with our money and our time. This is the issue that has been troubling me lately. I hear so many young parents feeling exhausted by their schedules. Not necessarily at work, but at home. They are so busy running their children to this practice and that game and this party and that lesson that they don’t even have time to parent; to sit at the table and enjoy a family meal; to have a leisurely evening riding bikes; to enjoy the fact that God gave them children to love and shape. Rather they are frustrated, short-tempered and not taking the needed time to coach and train their children as scripture clearly tells us is the essential task of every parent.

Why?  I keep asking that question and am not getting a satisfactory answer. Why do parents choose to involve their children in so many activities that there is no time for training or leisure or parental relaxation? Why do they stay so busy that there is no time to help those in need. Why do they fill their calendars so that they are constantly on the go and their homes are neglected? Can anyone give me a good explanation? What is this attraction of busyness that appears to be the most important thing in the lives our most of all these exhausted parents?

I am often drawn in by the simple life of the Amish around us. They are known for their keen sense of seeing a need in their community and rallying to meet the need. That would definitely put them among the sheep. From the time a child is born they will travel with their parent to the home of someone in need. Even before they are big enough to help, they are witnessing their parents giving of themselves. Their children grow up knowing that, whenever possible, they will go to the aid of others. That’s what they do. It becomes a rich part of their lifestyle.

I know the frailty of comparing our culture to the Amish culture because the differences are vast, however, our “progress” has taken our eyes off of what Jesus told His followers was of great importance… to love one another. To honor one another above ourselves. To feed the hungry. To visit the imprisoned. To clothe the naked. He told us to serve one another in love… but somehow we have come to believe that filling our days with keeping our children busy with hobbies, sports, lessons, etc. is what will bring them success in life. So we fill their days with these activities and what is the payoff?  Will they become successful athletes? Will they earn a scholarship? Will they gain fame and fortune? Maybe… “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (Matthew 16:26).

Parents, may I remind you that YOU are they one that God is trusting to raise your children to know His ways and follow Him. Don’t keep them so busy doing what the world sees as profitable that they don’t have the time and energy to invest in the lives of the people around them who could benefit a great deal from their compassion.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me… Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.  Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”   (from Matthew 25: 34-41).

God has prepared wonderful things beyond our imaginings for our children. It is our job to point them to those things by guiding them away from a “me” focus, to an “others” focus that will cause their life to have true meaning.

When God Said, "NO," part 2

Last week, in my blog, I spoke about our daughter, Emily and God’s “No…but…” You may need to read that so you can connect the dots in this week’s blog.

I was 28 years old and a rule follower. I was in church every time the doors were open. I taught Sunday School. I thought of myself as a very committed Christian. I knew God, wanted to follow Him and I was raising my children to love Him, too.  I had faith going into the crisis, but not nearly as much as I did coming out of it.

I prayed every kind of prayer I could pray for Emily. Our 8-year old, laying in that hospital bed unable to move her arms and legs or even turn her head. She could talk, but very faintly. She could move her eyes, but they peered out of a face that was unrecognizable since the steroid treatment made her face swell so much that when she talked, her mouth bled because her teeth would rub her swollen cheeks raw.

The Doctor told us that the pain she was feeling could likely be compared to what I would feel if I did 1000 sit-ups. Her muscles were so inflamed that the enzymes that measured inflammation were elevated from an barely acceptable 100 to a horrific 2800. Watching her suffer like that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.

During the 6 months that Emily was hospitalized, I had to stay close to her side because she couldn’t talk loud enough to get my attention from across the room and she didn’t have the strength to push her call light if she needed something. There was no place to cry or allow myself to crumble into the heap of emotions that were bottled up inside of me.

When those emotions finally surfaced, anger took the lead. I had devoted my life to a God that didn’t seem to care about the anguish my sweet little girl was experiencing.  I was MAD! One night, as I was talking to my father (out of range for Emily to hear), I told him that I was done with God. He was the closest thing to God that I could imagine so he seemed the likely one to pass on my message to the God that I was not on good terms with at that moment. Why would I want to serve a God that doesn’t care and doesn’t show up in the darkest hours of my life? I felt betrayed; like I had invested in a scam. I just wanted to rant and rave and purge my soul of all the pain that was rotting within me. And dad was silent on the other end of the line allowing me to do that very thing. And then he slowly and lovingly reminded me that there is nothing left if I excluded God. No other power to heal or restore of give grace and strength. Even if God was silent and seemingly unmoved by our sorrow, He was still God. He was still ever present and all knowing. He was still the One who had created that beautiful little girl and that knew all about the workings of her body and what was happening to her. He was still the One that was building something inside of her that we could not see. And He was building something inside of me at the same time. Something I couldn’t see or feel.

That was a turning point for me. That was the beginning of the transformation from being a good religious person to being a person that was ready to wait for a God I could not see and follow when it didn’t make sense. That was when I promised to follow, no matter what, and “what” scared me to death. That was when I asked Him for some sign that He was truly here with me, feeling my pain, knowing my sorrow. And in the midst of the storm I saw the rainbow, vivid and immense, letting me know that He was the God who was a keeper of promises and He would not leave or forsake, but was right beside me.

Emily has never experienced the healing that we all prayed for. She still struggles with the things that we all take for granted. Her disease has flared many times through the years…to the point of not even being able to hold her newborn baby or not being able to chew and swallow without a great deal of difficulty. She can’t do the simple household tasks that we begrudge having to do. She is trapped inside a body that needs harsh drugs in order to survive. BUT, also in that disease ridden body lives a heart filled with love for her Lord; that sings His praise with the voice of an angel; that is able to see blessings in spite of her disability; that does all she can to share the goodness of God that has manifested itself over and over in her life.

If you are asking God for a miracle and you aren’t seeing the results you want, maybe you are like me and are looking in all the wrong places. God is at work in your situation. He is by your side, just waiting for you to notice. I sure didn’t see the miracle for a very long time, but hind-sight, as they say, is 20/20.  I can tell you that God worked in the lives of hundreds of people as a result of that precious little life that faced what seemed to be insurmountable difficulties. He is still using it for good and His love shines through every struggle she faces.

Sometimes, when you think God isn’t showing up, think again. He is always there. He is always God. He takes all that we surrender to Him and makes something beautiful of it.

When God Said "NO"

It was the winter of 1986 that I first started to beg and plead and cry for the life of my first born. She was eight years old and so very ill with an auto-immune disease. We had met with the specialists and they told us that the only treatment they believed could perhaps save her life could also take her life. Their words echoed over and over in my head. She could die from suffocation as her lungs shut down, strangulation as her palatal muscles ceased to function or the medication.

I tried to reason with God. Emily had been such a lovely child from day one; an excellent student; sharp as a tack, kind and obedient. She was sweet and gifted and loved by all who knew her. She didn’t deserve this kind of pain and suffering. I would have taken the pain myself, if possible, just to give her some relief. In exchange for my reasoning, I got silence. My husband reminded me that there wasn’t a child alive that did deserve this disease, so arguing that Emily didn’t deserve it was not really an ironclad case to bring before the Judge. But I didn’t care and I continued to remind Him.

When we made the decision to allow them to administer the medication, a network of prayer warriors joined us in praying for the life of our little girl during the 72 hours of greatest danger. She survived, but the medication caused muscle myopathy and took the little strength she had, leaving her completely immobile and barely able to move. She couldn’t even lift her hand to her eyes to wipe the tears that ran down her cheeks. And I continued to beg God for healing.

I knew God was able. I knew He was mighty. I don’t think I ever doubted that. But what I didn’t understand was how a loving God who had the cure for her disease could, day after day, continue to allow her to suffer. My heart was breaking, not just for her life that seemed to be slipping away, but for her brother, left with strangers (since we had just moved to a new community weeks before Emily had to be hospitalized an hour and a half from our new home), attending a new school, and unable to process all that was happening to his sister.

As Emily began to stabilize, I would take a day a week and drive home to spend time with little, first grade Justin. It was on one of those drives in the spring that I was finally resigned to giving the entire situation over to the God who was mighty enough to handle something way too big for me to carry. I remember hearing all the well intentioned advice telling me to “demand healing and have the faith to move the hand of God”… or, “repent of the sin in your life and she will walk again”… or even, “if you speak to God in the heavenly language he will hear and answer your prayers.”  Chucking all such advice to the wind, I simply asked God for his healing touch in Emily’s little pain drenched body and followed that request with, “but if you can use her pain to win souls to You, then give us all the strength and grace to endure whatever lies ahead.” And that was a prayer that changed everything.

I didn’t want that to be the outcome, but I knew that all my wants and wishes; all my begging and pleading; all my perfect little scenarios that would come as a result of the miracle I asked for; were completely MY will for her life. What parent wouldn’t want that? After months in the hospital, watching her fight for every little accomplishment, I finally figured out that God had a bigger plan for her and I needed to fall in line with HIS plan, even if that plan was a big fat “NO!” As I prayed this prayer of release, I looked in my mirror to change lanes and the entire sky was glowing with the beauty of a rainbow that extended from horizon to horizon. The storm was raging, yet the promise remained. He is ABLE!

It’s 30 later and God shows me over and over again how His might and power may very well be mightier and more powerful when He says, “No.”  Emily did, in fact, learn to walk again. She walked down the aisle on her daddy’s arm the day she married her amazing husband, Mike. She has given us 2 beautiful granddaughters who are complete miracles…gifts from God. And still she struggles daily. Her strength is diminished greatly and the most common tasks are an effort for her. But she lives in victory because God’s strength is manifested in her in ways that we would not see, had He answered my plea the way I expected. She is likely the most godly woman I have ever met and she walks with the One who has taught her that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And she can proclaim with the Apostle Paul, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  From 2 Corinthians 12:9

When God tells us “NO” there is always a “but” that follows it… and in that “but” you will find victorious living, because He has promised to never leave or forsake us.  His grace IS sufficient for whatever path lies ahead for you.  Just ask Emily!

No Doubt

Do you ever wonder if God is real; if He is able to see you, hear you, or care about your circumstances? Do you ever feel like He is an impersonal Deity who doesn’t care about the details of your life?  We can all answer yes to these questions, is my guess. Why? Because we see God as a superhero and we are taught that God is LOVE, therefore, He should immediately come to our rescue and meet all our needs because that is how love is demonstrated, right?

Parents, you love your kids, but you know what happens if you always give them what they want when they want it, right? They just want more and more and they become difficult to live with and never learn coping skills or how to make the best of a situation where their perceived needs are not being immediately met. They may want things that are unsafe or unhealthy or that they are not mature enough to handle, yet. So we say “No” and teach them to accept our “No” as a gift of love because saying “Yes” would bring them harm, either immediately or eventually…. OR DO WE???

Here is a free parenting tip:  Don’t just say NO without explaining why. You want them to learn to reason right from wrong, not just memorize a list of “dos” and “don’ts.” If there isn’t time to explain, explain later. But always explain everything you can. That is the only way they will learn. They reach for the stove and you shout “NO!” They learn that you are angry when they reach for the stove, but they don’t learn that you love them and don’t want them to get burned unless you follow your “NO!” with an explanation. Got it?

Ok, back to the subject at hand…  I have had a few “No”s from God and a whole lot of “Wait”s.  I don’t like them. Especially because rarely is there an actual sense of Him communicating that to me. I have learned, however, that when God says nothing, either I am not listening or I have temporarily forgotten who He is. When I remember that He is indeed a good, good Father and I am loved by Him so much that He paid the ultimate price for me, I begin to deduce that I am in the waiting room for a good reason. And I may never know that reason. But it doesn’t matter, because He is in control and is certainly big enough to work things out according to His will.

Another analogy from parenting. On several occasions, one of our kids would not follow our instructions because she had a better plan. She never understood why that was a bad thing or why she had to endure the consequences because what she did, instead of what she was instructed to do, was an act of kindness and had a good outcome. True, she made someone happy, but she never attended to the responsibilities assigned to her and that created a whole other set of problems. My point is, doing good doesn’t mean we are listening and following God. It gives us the comfortable illusion that we are right where He wants us, and we miss what He really has for us. Be careful not to fall into that trap. “Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him and He will do it.” Psalm 37:5  What is “it?”  I don’t know, but it is better than what we do on our own.

Here is the bottom line. We want our kids to truly believe in and follow their Heavenly Father. We want them in Heaven with us someday. So teach them now about a good Father who cares about them enough to direct their path. Teach them by giving them direction; teaching them who God is; explain again and again the importance of listening and obeying you so that they learn to obey God, too. And most of all, draw closer and closer to Him now so that you are certain that you are on the path that He has ordained for you. Remember, it’s okay to wait or to not get what you asked God for because He is always right and always has a higher plan than what you or I can comprehend.

Believe and do not doubt that God’s plan is perfect and wait for Him to put things in order…. 

Even when it is really, really hard to do!

He’s got this!

Lessons From the Buffalo

Last week we traveled to Yellowstone for a wonderful family vacation. We spent every day traveling in a national park, enjoying the contrast from life at home in Indiana. One major difference was that in Yellowstone, unlike any other thoroughfare in this country (like Interstate 80 when we were trying to get home), when you come upon traffic that is stopped, it is a very good and enjoyable thing.  When you see a string of cars stopped along the road, you know you are about to witness wildlife you wouldn’t normally see. One bull elk grazing can stop traffic for a very long time and nobody gets angry. They just join in to observe this massive animal having his lunch.

While we traveled, we listened to a couple of sermons that we missed during our vacation. (You can listen to them at http://thecreekonline.net/media.php?pageID=5). Chris spoke of our need to be a part of the Church; not just a gathering of friends with similar beliefs; not just a social gathering; not just a place to make us feel good about ourselves as we sacrifice our Sunday brunch; but a place where we can encourage each other and hold each other accountable and strengthen each other as together we face the struggles life presents.

As I listened, I was reminded of one of those traffic stops in Yellowstone. There were a dozen or more Buffalo with their calves grazing alongside of the road and with all the traffic stopping for a photo op, they eventually took advantage of the opportunity to cross the road. It was awesome!

After they had all gotten across and the last photo was snapped, I looked at the tree line 400-500 yards from the road and I saw movement. Eventually I could see that it was a buffalo cow and her calf and they were running like mad to get back to the herd.  A buffalo can run 45 mph so it was pretty amazing to witness. They didn’t slow down and the baby stayed right at her heals until they rejoined the herd.

This is the time of year when calves are young and wolves prey upon them. A pack of wolves is no concern to a herd that can surround their young, but one lone cow would be hard pressed to protect her calf against a large herd of hungry wolves. She knew the importance of being with the herd in order to ensure that her calf was safe and able to reach adulthood.

So, I want to ask you, WHO IS YOUR HERD?  Are you keeping company with those who will help you be a stronger, better, more dedicated God follower?  Do you isolate yourself from others and just do your own thing? Your kids are watching and following closely at your heals. They look to you for protection. They stay close and observe and gravitate to the types of people they see you hanging with. Are you allowing the Church to speak into your life in a real and life changing manner? Or are your friends outside of the church the ones you prefer because you can relax and your language and behavior won’t matter?

Accountability and responsibility are an integral part of the life of all who desire to walk with Jesus. I encourage you to find that person who is not afraid to tell you when you are drifting. BE that person that is willing to warn a friend when you see them falling out of step with the One who saved them. Embrace the Church… not just the place you go on Sunday because that’s how you were raised… but the movement that was born 2,000 years ago, out of the need for those who believed in a risen Lord to support and encourage one another. We need each other. We are definitely better together… and safer, too!

Generosity

Sunday’s sermon was about living a life that allows you to give whatever God asks of you because you trust Him completely to provide. Living outside of what others would consider the safety zone, because God has called you to meet a need. It was a great reminder that God is our provider and that walking with Him will allow us to be generous in a way that others would deem unsafe.

How do we teach that kind of generosity to our kids? It is easy to think that we don’t really have enough to share because raising a family is expensive. Looking at the bills vs. the income often leaves us thinking that we need to work a full-time or a second job so that we have some wiggle room.  My advice (and I am pretending you want it) would be to learn to live on less rather than living less.

If you are a parent, you have a calling… a number one priority… a vocation that is more important than anything you can ever do. You are to shape the heart and direct the steps of your child so they will learn that following Jesus is the best thing they can ever do. Nobody else has been called to be the spiritual guide for your child. Not the church, not the grandparents, not the private school.  It is YOU that needs to fill that position to the very best of your ability. Maybe you can do that and work full-time. Maybe you know that you are more effective in parenting when you are working part-time. Maybe your kids need you to be a full time parent. This is something that you work out as a couple so that you know that you are investing your time in the most effective manner when it comes to raising your kids.

Here are three tips to give you more wiggle room financially so you don’t feel trapped into working more hours and sacrificing time with the kids. FIRST, take a hard look at what you have. Do you need it? Last week as I was dusting my “stuff” I thought, “I don’t need that and it brings me no particular joy or evokes no special memories” and into the garage sale pile it went.  SECOND, Look at your monthly expenses. I don’t like the magazines articles that boast of teaching you how to shave $$ of your monthly expenses. They typically instruct me to stop spending money on something I already don’t spend money on! But, there are ways to cut expenses if you stop thinking, “well that is only $7 a week.” Look at every expense as if it matters, because it does. If going to the store or shopping online causes you to see things you didn’t know you wanted until you saw it, then STOP shopping. Only go to the store when you have to and stick to what is on your list. THIRD, look in your trash can. What is going to waste? Are you cooking too much? Are you using disposable things that cost you more than reusable things? Don’t make, take or use more than you need.

I am not trying to solve all your financial issues.  I just want you to find the joy of living within your means so that you can truly live generously. It is the best way to raise kids that will not feel entitled and selfish. So don’t get sucked into thinking that earning more is the answer to being more generous. Being generous with your time is critically important when raising your family. Working more hours will rob you of that, so see if you can’t find ways to carefully spend by asking yourself, “What do I have that I don’t need? What do I spend unnecessarily? What do I waste?” And live on less rather than living less!

Sanding

I painted my kitchen cabinets this year. They looked exactly as I had pictured them. At least for a week or so. Then the paint started to peel. I had spent plenty of time online getting advice from the “experts” before removing all the doors and sanding and wiping and priming and painting so I was really disappointed when they began to look a little too shabby, even for me. I like the weathered, primitive look, but am not a fan of the “you didn’t spend enough time prepping your wood and now its peeling” kind of look.

In raising children to be exactly as we had pictured them, there is also some figurative sanding that must be done. Kids come with some pretty rough edges and those are not going to go away by giving them puppies and lollypops. Some things require sandpaper if we want them to have a lasting finish. We don’t need to intentionally “sand” them because life presents those circumstances on a regular basis. We do, however, need to stop trying to shelter by constantly pacifying them rather than allowing them to self-sooth, protecting them rather than allowing them to experience the consequences of their behavior, rescuing them rather than allowing them to become problem solvers.

As hard as I try, I find myself rescuing too often. I really want to step back and let them learn, but I easily find myself looking for solutions to problems that aren’t mine to fix. Lately, God has been doing some “sanding” away at that harmful tendency. He has been reminding me that He has a plan and He can see the finished product and that beautiful end will require some sanding in the beginning. He is showing me that my kids are on a journey and the stops along their path may be painful, but the One who created them is able to take those experiences and use them to “sand” until they become who He designed them to be.

The Apostle Paul had quite a journey. It included blindness, beatings, shipwrecks, imprisonment and hardship beyond belief. Yet he didn’t become bitter. He found contentment because he knew that all of his experiences, good and bad, were being fashioned by the Creator into something beautiful. Paul’s life story is amazing because he discovered that “IN ALL THINGS”… yes ALL… “God works for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). Maybe your kids don't really "love" Him right now, but I am certain that those things they experience on their journey away from God will be used to their good when they return, so take courage and trust Him.

Guide your children through their journey. Help them when they need it and step back when they need to do it on their own. It is a hard line to find, but keep looking. Work together. Talk about it. In most 2 parent homes, there is a difference of opinion as to when there should be assistance and when they should be left to figure it out on their own. Those differences can … and do… cause friction. But they are wonderful differences if you stop trying to be “right” and start trying to allow God to use your differences to reshape the two of you into a terrific team. Kids aren’t the only ones who need sanding, you know.

Who Are You?

I loved Sunday’s sermon. In fact, I listened to it twice and you can listen to it here http://thecreekonline.net/media.php?pageID=5. Chris talked, in his message, about what adoption meant in the culture that Paul addressed when He spoke of being adopted into God’s family. It wasn’t the way we think of adoption in our society, where we rescue a child in need. Adoption would have been more like finding the right person to meet the need and fulfill the need of leadership in the adopting family. With the adoption came freedom from the old life with its debts and baggage, but also, the expectation of becoming the person who could lead; who could be an important part in providing what was missing in that family.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 2:10, which tells us that we are a masterpiece because we have been made new by our adoption into God’s family and we are to use that advantage to fulfill the plan He made long before we were born.  So often we see our “adoption” into Christianity as being saved from our past and receiving the gift of eternity with God. But, what about the responsibility to fulfill God’s plan in our new family? Who are YOU in His family?  Are you the prodigal child that squanders their inheritance and disregards your identity to find your own way? Or are you the one who stays close to the Father, but is missing the benefit of being His? Or are you eagerly seeking the plan He has for you as His child?

I’m not talking about following a creed or a set of rules. Adoption into God’s family is free and cannot be earned with good behavior. In the preamble to the Ten Commandments, God describes Himself as the One who rescued them from bondage. As a result of that act of love, God gave them guidelines on how to live in that freedom, with Him and with others. It wasn’t about giving rules of conduct. It was a gift to help them navigate life with God and others.

I am an adoptive mama. God gave us 4 beautiful children. Two of them through the miracle of birth; two that He selected in order to make our family complete. To bear children, there was no test, however, to adopt, we were tested, interviewed, and examined, in more ways than I knew you could look at a person, in order to adopt. Then, a committee recommended us, a judge approved us, and they became our forever children. Their names were changed. They were given new birth certificates that indicated they were born to us at the address where we lived on the date of their birth. It seemed odd to me that their past was blotted out, and with their new name, came a new heritage. I was now the one responsible to direct them and plan for their success.

Who are you? You are the heritage of your children. Give them good roots. Never miss an opportunity to show your kids the benefit of walking with their Creator. Help them to see that His plan for them is unique and perfect. Show them the joy of being in His presence so they will desire that above all else. Then let them go, when the time comes. Let them question and challenge and take their inheritance on the journey that may terrify you… because you can’t hold them or force them or guilt them into following the Leader. But the Leader has the power to go with them, watch over them, speak to them, and bring them home.

Hold them in your heart and in your prayers forever. That is what your Father has done for you.

The Rose or the Soil

They came in the mail today. Graduation Announcements. More will come, but the two I received today came from two of the most amazing young people with the grandest of potential. When I look at them I know that God will do great things in their lives, should they follow the path He has created for them. All who know them expect great things from them. They are bright, caring, attractive and loved by so many. If they follow the Leader, the world will change for the better for those who are blessed enough to be on the journey with them.

Hundreds of thousands of people will move their tassels in the next few weeks. Most will not stand out like these, but without a doubt, they have the same possibility of changing the world. They may not have a 4.0 and college may not be in their sites. They may not look like a hero to anyone or have the means to help those in need. They will, however, do grand and wonderful things if they find the path that God has laid out for them.

Often we are misled to believe that we must look, talk, believe, dress or live a certain way in order to be a contributor to God’s plan. In truth, His plan reaches to everyone to whom He has given life. We all have a purpose. We were all created to be a part of the plan that we cannot see. There is only one way to find our place in that plan and that is to walk closely with the One who designed it. “The rose or the poppy simply cannot steal the show. Without the soil and the sun and the nurture and the care, the rose or the poppy could never grow” (Ravi Zacharias, The Grand Weaver, 72).

Mom and Dad, what do you see when you look at your babies? Who will they become? You will help them to develop their areas of giftedness and overcome their areas of struggle. You will encourage them to excel at something and to do their best at all things. You are the soil that is nourishing this tender plant. The very best way to ensure their success is to show them the way to follow the Leader. Show them the joy that comes from knowing He loves and cares for His children. Show them the way He provides peace in the storm. Show them your grateful heart for all that He does in your daily life. Make Him real in your home by making Him the central filter through which all family decisions are made.

Whether they be the soil or the rose, may you be the guide they need to find God’s purpose for their lives.

People Before Politics

If you have ever spent much time with elementary school children you know that it is quite probable you will discover where their parents stand on the people, in or running for, a particular political office.  They speak with great candor and confidence as the bash or support this powerful icon. I have yet to meet a 3^rd grader who understands foreign affairs, global warming, or military strategies, yet they seem to know, unquestionably, what the person in office is doing wrong in these areas on a given day.  Why? Because they hear the conversations of the grown-ups and take it as the gospel truth and are more than willing to share it.

Conversely, it is almost as simple to guess the party of a high school student’s parents by listening to them talk… because they will often take the opposing party of their parents!  It’s natural for them to question. It’s normal for them to challenge. It means they are learning to think on their own and draw conclusions based on steering away from the status quo to find something that might work just a little bit better than the “rut” into which adults struggle to see their way out of.

I just wonder what would we hear on the playground from our politically savvy kids if, rather than bashing the people in our government, we were to take time every day to say a positive word about them and PRAY FOR THEM. What if we were to stop and think before we talk, realizing that we have not walked in the shoes of our leaders and don’t ever have all the details causing them to make the decisions they make?  What if our hearts were attuned to God’s and we saw these candidates and public officials as God’s children, who he loves? How would that change who our kids grow up to be? After all, is it really so important to embrace a political agenda in light of the significance of supporting the Great Commandment to love God and the second greatest command, according to Jesus…. to love our neighbor as ourselves?

It’s primary election day in Indiana. I am going to the polls to vote my conscience. Someone there will cancel out my vote. It is the way of democracy. But, I vow to pray for the one who loses and the one who wins and for all the little children who are listening to us. I will pray that  our country can change for the better because we are teaching our children to pray for, rather than criticize our leaders. It actually takes less energy and leaves you a lot less agitated.

“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of   passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,  whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.  This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.  But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.”                                                                             Titus 3:1-9 NIV

Why Must They Suffer?

If you have been a parent very long, you know what it’s like to see your child suffer. It is one of the most difficult parts of parenting. You may have longed to take the pain yourself , if only it could relieve their pain. You may have felt bitter about the fact that an innocent child must suffer. The fact is, we don’t like hardship, especially when it is inflicted on a child.

Why do kids have to suffer? My first reaction to that is that the world they live in is broken. God created us to live in a perfect setting, of His design, but sin has changed that perfect world and it is broken. That broken condition created sickness and wickedness and pain. And it will remain so until we reach our heavenly home.

My second reaction is that kids have to suffer for the same reason adults have to suffer.

It grows them.  A baby who is held constantly never learns to self sooth. They learn to become more dependent and needy which creates more crying. Of course wisdom must be used to determine how long we should allow them to cry before we provided the comfort they legitimately need. But allowing them to discover that their anxiety is correctable even if they are not immediately rescued  helps them to grow to be problem solvers.

It teaches them. As your child grows, the pain they experience is often a result of their choices. When we rescue our kids from the consequences of their choices, we stunt their growth and they learn much more slowly. Allowing them to pay the price for their behavior is a great teaching tool. You can express to them how sad you are that they didn’t get to go to the birthday party, but that was their choice when they decided to disobey …again.

It molds them.  When they have truly felt the anguish of loss or disappointment or sickness, you have the opportunity to share with them that other people have the same pain and we can make their pain less if we walk alongside of them and show them compassion and concern.

It directs them. When their little hearts are breaking because they have been treated unfairly, this is the perfect setting for you to tell them about the God of justice and how He sees our suffering and longs to bring us comfort. Make sure that they know that Jesus is sad when we are sad. When they are struggling, let them know that they are not alone. God is waiting to help them through the mountains and the valleys of life. Even when they are all grown up.

You see, pain isn’t such a horrible thing when we realize that it is a tool God can use to shape us into the person who He created us to become. And all the pain in this life just makes the next life shine even brighter!

Your Starring Role

I have a cross-stitched sampler on my wall that states,   

“You can’t lead your children if you don’t know where you’re going.”

It makes me stop and think about my direction… my intentionality… the path that I have chosen. Life can get so full and busy that it is easy to forget there is a final destination we must strive for. Some would say that is heaven, but I prefer to consider my desired destination as fulfilling God’s plan for my life… then heaven is just the icing on the cake.

The question is, how do we manage a family and all that comes with it and still get the message across to our children that God has a plan for our lives and that we have an amazing hope for eternity because of a loving God and a risen Savior? Having the right words to say to them is important, but words are just words. You could tell them daily that the grass is purple and they would eventually remember those words. They may grow to believe that green is purple or they may just decide you don’t know what you are talking about.

The point is, as followers of Jesus we have a glorious hope for an eternity that will dissolve every concern and care that we have experienced here, in a moment. But does that hope translate to our kids? I’m afraid that what our kids see is our rushing about, our impatient responses, our worries about finances, our struggling relationships. They see one thing… our stress, yet we are telling them we believe that Jesus died for our sins and rose again and is preparing a place in heaven for us. Big deal!  They won’t want any part of that if it appears to be so miserable!

Are we so overwhelmed and consumed with this life that we seldom think of the life designed for us by a Sovereign God that will lead to an eternity with Him in paradise? We may as well be telling them that the grass is purple!  They are going to decide we haven’t a clue what we are saying or they will learn to believe that placing our hope in Jesus means nothing more that being busy and stressed out!

I would like to challenge you to allow the Holy Spirit to so engulf you, that even in the midst of the busyness, your children will be able to know that you are on a journey toward fulfilling a Divine plan in which you have a starring role. Let them know that God created you for a special purpose, to fulfill a plan that He made long ago… even before He made you.  Let them know that you are taking time in the Word so that you can know God better as you read His story. Let them know that you need some time for quiet so that God can speak to your heart and you can listen as He directs you toward your part in His plan.  Be in awe of the fact that the God who created the entire universe wants to have a forever relationship with YOU and let that seep into your life so that it can be seen in your smile and your eyes and your attitude.

Don’t worry so much about the words you say to them. Just make your actions and attitude reflect the amazing journey to fulfilling God’s divine plan for your life. I cannot imagine anything better than knowing that my kids are excited about finding where they fit in God’s plan. And knowing that they “caught” that from my enthusiastic pursuit… priceless!