Why Must They Suffer?

If you have been a parent very long, you know what it’s like to see your child suffer. It is one of the most difficult parts of parenting. You may have longed to take the pain yourself , if only it could relieve their pain. You may have felt bitter about the fact that an innocent child must suffer. The fact is, we don’t like hardship, especially when it is inflicted on a child.

Why do kids have to suffer? My first reaction to that is that the world they live in is broken. God created us to live in a perfect setting, of His design, but sin has changed that perfect world and it is broken. That broken condition created sickness and wickedness and pain. And it will remain so until we reach our heavenly home.

My second reaction is that kids have to suffer for the same reason adults have to suffer.

It grows them.  A baby who is held constantly never learns to self sooth. They learn to become more dependent and needy which creates more crying. Of course wisdom must be used to determine how long we should allow them to cry before we provided the comfort they legitimately need. But allowing them to discover that their anxiety is correctable even if they are not immediately rescued  helps them to grow to be problem solvers.

It teaches them. As your child grows, the pain they experience is often a result of their choices. When we rescue our kids from the consequences of their choices, we stunt their growth and they learn much more slowly. Allowing them to pay the price for their behavior is a great teaching tool. You can express to them how sad you are that they didn’t get to go to the birthday party, but that was their choice when they decided to disobey …again.

It molds them.  When they have truly felt the anguish of loss or disappointment or sickness, you have the opportunity to share with them that other people have the same pain and we can make their pain less if we walk alongside of them and show them compassion and concern.

It directs them. When their little hearts are breaking because they have been treated unfairly, this is the perfect setting for you to tell them about the God of justice and how He sees our suffering and longs to bring us comfort. Make sure that they know that Jesus is sad when we are sad. When they are struggling, let them know that they are not alone. God is waiting to help them through the mountains and the valleys of life. Even when they are all grown up.

You see, pain isn’t such a horrible thing when we realize that it is a tool God can use to shape us into the person who He created us to become. And all the pain in this life just makes the next life shine even brighter!