Compounding Interest In The Behavior Bank

"Good and evil both increase at compound interest.  That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later,  you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of."

These are the very wise words of C.S. Lewis. Conversely, the smallest act of disobedience or wavering from the course God has set out for you today is a victory for Satan as he works to gain a foothold in your life, your mind, your home.

Now, take that wisdom and translate it into parenting. An act of disobedience without consequences is an open invitation for your child's will to continue to battle yours.  If your child is repeating the same negative behaviors, then you are likely not effective in administering the appropriate discipline and their “naughty” bank has accrued enough interest to invest in more defiance. Your “look,” your volume, your lectures, your threats are not discipline. They are simply disapproval… and most children don’t really care if you approve or not, they just care that they can continue to do whatever they want without consequences.

We are charged with shaping the heart of our children so that it is ready to be a home for the Spirit of God. Defiant, disrespectful behavior will leave no room for or understanding of God’s guidance in their lives as they mature. Make certain that you fully understand the meaning of the mandate to “train up a child in the way they should go.”  Training does not mean telling and yelling. It means guiding, demonstrating, explaining why certain things are non-negotiable. The younger the child, the simpler the explanation… but explain you must! Sometimes “Because I said so,” if followed by “and I said so because it is my job to teach you the correct way to behave” is explanation enough. But if they are ready to comprehend where their negative behavior is leading, tell them!

Also, look for ways to applaud the good choices and tell them they were good choices. That is how they begin to note the difference between good and bad. “I love it when you share so nicely. That means that you care about how your brother feels which means you are getting to be quite a big boy!”  “Wow! That was the quickest first-time-obedience EVER! That means you are learning to do the right thing and we need to add some marbles to your good choices jar!” “I know you really wanted more candy, but when I said NO, you didn’t argue a bit! Great job!” “You just brushed your teeth without being told! I am so proud of you being so responsible!”

Most importantly, realize that you are not expected to parent alone. There is a God who has the answers and wants to help you. Immerse yourself in His Word and learn His ways so that it becomes second nature to impart His wisdom to your kids as they grow. It’s never too late to start a good thing. Today is a good day for new beginnings!