Rockers and Shakers

I must have sat in that antique rocker for 10 minutes contemplating if it would be a good way to spend the birthday money I got from my dad.  While I sat there rocking, I looked around at all the delightful relics of bygone days. Directly in my line of sight was a cabinet full of salt and pepper shakers. There was quite an assortment…everything from pink elephants to lighthouses…and I wondered what would cause someone to want to collect them. I purchased that rocker and left before I answered that question (thanks, Dad!). But one thing is certain… it is about the outward appearance of the vessels and not the contents. Salt is salt and pepper is pepper, no matter what unique container they are shaken from.

There is more to this illustration, of course. Not so much about the pepper, which I could totally live without, but about the salt. Jesus talks about salt. In speaking to those whom He called Disciples, those who were intentional about following in His footsteps, He said,

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses it saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Matthew 5:13

In our culture, we think of salt simply as a seasoning to make our food taste yummy. Dad always says, “I don’t really like food. I just like the seasoning.” Or maybe something that comes in 40# bags that is used to keep our water soft, or tossed onto the sidewalk to melt the ice. There is validity and a message in all of the above. We should make life “taste” better for those around us; we should bring better quality to life; we should do what we can to provide safety for others around us. Those are all good, kind, loving things to do. BUT you don’t have to be a follower of Jesus to do those things. That is just something that a decent human being naturally does.

In the culture to which (or is it to whom?) Jesus spoke, salt was used to preserve food. To prevent spoilage. If you have ever returned from vacation to find that an electrical storm took out your deep freeze that was full of meat, you know well the importance placed on preserving meat! That smell haunted me long after the mess was cleaned up. The people Jesus addressed didn’t have a freezer or even a refrigerator, so salt was used to cure the meat so that it wouldn’t spoil. Without it, their world would be full of rotten stench and deadly conditions.

So, let’s bring that home. If Jesus wants us to be the preservative that keeps the world from rotting, wouldn’t that begin at home? As parents, wouldn’t Jesus be saying, “Preserve the souls of your children, your spouse, your friends and family. Make sure that your life is a sprinkling of My peace and My joy and My wisdom and My hope.” Would He not be dismayed when He sees that our lives at home look just like the world? Anger, frustration, anxiety, and more concern for the appearance of the pink elephant shaker than what’s inside of it?  Wouldn’t He be looking for the salt that keeps life from being stinky and rotten?

Here is what many people don’t realize… we don’t supply the salt that preserves life. That comes from walking with Jesus. We can’t buy it. We can’t mine it. We can’t create it from our great heart and Godly desires. The salt that we, as disciples/followers of Jesus, provide for the world is a gift from God. We can only be filled as we learn from Him, live with Him, talk and listen to Him. And it is His desire to provide it, free of charge because He has already paid the price. His disciples were transformed … over time … by close encounters day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year… of being with Jesus. Don’t be that person that gives up because your salt isn’t salty. Even the disciples, who walked with him every single day, took years to figure it out. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to how things look at home where life is real. That’s where the gauge is to tell you if your salt has lost its saltiness. If you are being stinky, dump that out and spend some time with Jesus so you can be filled with the salt that will bring hope and light and joy into your home.

My new rocker is in my bedroom and my Bible is right beside it. It’s a great place to sit and just be with Jesus. It isn’t easy to find the time, but in our culture it is difficult to carve out time for basically anything! Just make time to be with Him and let Him fill you with the salt that preserves. It’s the best thing you can do for your family.

Peanut Butter Dill Pickle Sandwich Challenge

“The receiving is in the giving.” What a wonderful life lesson made simple. It doesn’t seem to be a true statement. It runs contrary to our keep-things-fair, what-about-my-needs mentality. It’s kind of like a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich. It sounds awful, but once you taste it, it is surprisingly good. I read this quote in a blog that was shared with me this week and I think everyone should read it. Our defensiveness can destroy our relationships. Over the years Dana and I have learned that lesson well and we can testify that giving works and feels so much better than taking, regardless of the outcome. It is just exactly the way Jesus taught us to live. When we let go of our need to justify our feelings and fight back, we can truly begin to love from the heart.

Take a minute to read this blog. Cut and paste it in your browser.  

http://lemonlimeadventures.com/grandma-saved-my-marriage/

Give it a try. It can’t hurt! It will transform how you do life together.

A Valentine

It’s Valentine’s Day! I would like to dedicate this blog to all of you out there who are in a relationship and desire for it to be better than it is.

In the beginning God decided to breathe life into a man He had created in His own image. That “image” has been debated over time by people much smarter than me, but for sure God is LOVE and therefore, we were created to be love. Not just a vessel to hold  love; to give and receive love; but to actually be love, a noun that doesn’t really exist unless it is also a verb. Much of the fear and anxiety and stress and struggle that we wrestle with is because we are not living as we were created to live. We are not being love. We don’t receive it well and we don’t give it well and we don’t live it well. When that is the case, we are living in a state that wasn’t designed for us. We were fashioned by our Creator to be the visible reflection of Him to the world and when we withhold or refuse love, we are not functioning according to the Manufacturers specifications. We are essentially like a fish out of water… miserable and on our way OUT.

The best way to discover if you are truly reflecting the love of God is to take a look at how you love your partner. Not how you feel about your partner. Love isn’t a feeling. Love is a decision we make repeatedly… to give without first receiving, to keep no record of wrongs, to be kind even when you’re hangry and patient even when you are tired. Love is throwing away the score board. Love is learning to cherish because that’s how God feels about them and learning better methods of communicating respectfully. Love is work. Love is constant. Love is life.

If you are feeling like you fail to meet the above standard, please understand that you are surrounded by the rest of us failures. Love is not a destination, it is a journey. If you stop traveling toward loving better, you will never arrive at where you always dreamed your marriage would be and where God wants it to be. In 41 years of marriage we have had times when we failed miserably and times when we just stopped trying and times when … well… I just wanted out. But I can happily say that we both circled back, after every failure, and realized where we wanted to go and gave up a little of ourselves to get a little closer to the goal. We discovered that when you lay down your “ideal partner” list and learn to love the one you have, you gain something far better. 

Our marriage isn’t perfect. We still frustrate each other and misunderstand and allow our feelings to get in the way of the fact that we are on a mission. But mostly, we enjoy doing life together every day. We laugh and we smile and have a lot of fun together. We don’t worry that we don’t have a lot in common, but enjoy what we do, and are learning to do life together better. And that, my friend, is my prayer for you.

There is so much good that God wants for you. In order to receive it, you must let the walls fall down and pack away the pride and let your heart be filled with His love, rather than your resentment. When your heart overflows with His love, pure and unconditional, I believe you get a little taste of heaven on earth, because His love will become complete as it is manifested in you.

No one has ever seen God.

But if we love each other,

God lives in us,

and his love is brought to full expression in us.

1 John 4:12

That verse says, to me, that we are in partnership with our Maker to demonstrate His love. Home is the best place to hold up your end of the bargain.

May your Valentine’s Day be unforgettable,

not because it is like a fairy tale,

but because it is the beginning of a wonderful love story,

 starring the One who is truly Love.

The Vessel

The word is out. People must be talking about how much I love helping families find more joy and fulfillment because more and more people ask me how they can have a better relationship with their kids or their spouse. Women want to know how they can be a Godly woman. The answer is clearly found all over the pages of scripture, God is LOVE, so go love!

The whole thing gets complicated, however, as each person tries to sort out what LOVE is. What does love look like when you are sad or mad or struggling with …. life? How was love manifested in your home as a child and is that what you want for your kids? Does it differ from the way your husband or wife received love as a child? Is there a right way and a wrong way to show love? What about tough love? How long should I continue to give love when there is no love coming back?

These are all good questions and all worthy of discussion, but if you truly want a happy and emotionally healthy life, you have to look directly at the life a Jesus and see how He allowed the supernatural love of God to live in him and spill over to others. His was a sacrificial love. He didn’t ask for anything in return or expect anything up front. His was a non-discriminant love. He loved all people, regardless of what society thought of them. His was an everlasting love. It had no beginning and no ending. By comparison, we tend to feel like we have to expect something in return for our love. We shy away from those who are difficult or have lived in such a manner that they don’t ‘deserve’ to be lavished in love. We wait to see if it makes sense to invest our love and if bad behavior ensues, we pull out and slam the door.

A young mother recently told me that she has never felt more like she is living her life for  God than in recent months. It isn’t about doing everything right, or reading more or praying more or going to church more… although those are important to her. It is because she is putting love into action and not being content to consider love as a feeling or a phase you use with someone special. She is going outside of her comfort zone and giving to someone who has no possible way of giving back. Someone who has made harmful choices. Someone most would walk away from.

I know why she feels God using her… why she feels His presence… why she feels fulfilment.

“If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:12)

Think about that…  Do you struggle to feel God in your life? Perhaps that is because you are defining love as a feeling, or as something that has a price tag… something that must be deserved or earned in order to be received. If you struggle to continue to love in difficult situations, then stop loving with human power and allow God’s love to flow through you and overflow to everyone on your path.

The part of that verse that I just can’t stop marveling at is that, if we love one another, “God’s love is made complete in us.” The implication I keep seeing is that, without us as a vessel for His love, His love is incomplete. The God … who IS love, has chosen us to complete that perfect love… and frankly… we are far from perfect!

My conclusion is that love isn’t love at all if we can do it alone, without God in us. We will fail miserably, in time, and we will never find fulfilment and joy and create a home where love is the foundation.

When you stop and think about it, it’s pretty amazing that God chooses us to be the vessel for a love that is perfect, yet incomplete, if we don’t choose to carry it in us. Wow! If you truly want to be a Godly husband and father, a Godly wife and mother, then GO LOVE ONE ANOTHER with the powerful love of God in you.

Know The Culture

In 2012, before I traveled to Australia to minister to the Journey Church in Pacific Pines, I was told a bit about the culture there so that I would better understand the people and not say or do something that would offend them. It was not just somebody being bossy and wanting to tell me what to do. There was no test administered to see if I would remember the set of “rules.” It was simply a kind and thoughtful deed to make my time there as profitable and enjoyable as it could be. I never mastered the really cool accent… except I can pull off a pretty amazing “G’day, Mate!”…but, I was able to live among the people and respect them and love them better because I understood their culture.

As followers of Jesus, we are given a great description of what His culture looks like so that we can better imitate Him. This helps us understand why we are sometimes miserable and why sometimes we are full of joy. It isn’t just a coincidence or a hormonal swing, but often it is our behavior. We were created in the image of God and when we decide to follow Him, we have chosen to live in a different culture. For that to be a pleasant experience, there are things we have to know.

First and foremost is that we are to love God and secondly, love each other. Well, there are about a gazillion different notions about what love looks like and how it behaves, so Jesus tells us what it looks like in His culture. That is His gift of love to us, that we may live an enjoyable and profitable life, rich in love and goodness. When we choose to slip out of that culture of love, it is uncomfortable and in time it turns all our focus inward and we begin to worry about how we are being treated by others rather than focusing outward and loving even those who do not treat us lovingly.

What did Jesus say about being mistreated? “Turn the other cheek.”  When we start to keep score or keep a record of wrongs and demand justice rather than turn the other cheek, something rises up in us that creates stress. It is toxic to us because it does not fit into the culture we have entered when we came to follow Jesus. How did Jesus feel about leadership and authority? He stooped to wash Peter’s dirty feet. He taught us that the way to lead effectively is to serve.

If the culture in your home or in your own heart is creating a battlefield, perhaps it is because you are not listening to Jesus as He tries to teach you to live appropriately and effectively in His culture; the culture of the follower (a.k.a disciple) of Christ Jesus. The culture of love.

Come, Follow, Learn

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will show you how to fish for people.”

Matthew 4:19

When Jesus says COME it is likely that we want to do just that, except that in order to “come” we are going to have to “leave” the comfort of where we are… where there is security and predictability. I’m not talking a grand scale of leaving the comfort of America to be a missionary in a place where cannibalism is common practice and running water means darting about dodging poisonous vipers with a jug of muddy water on your head that you just walked 5 miles to collect. Let’s bring it in a little closer to home…

Come…

When Jesus says COME to us, he is inviting us into a relationship with him. That relationship we build with Him spills over into our relationships at home and at work. Everywhere! It involves leaving the comfort of self-care and crossing over to care about, or for, another.

…Follow

Here is some good news! When Jesus calls us to come, He is inviting us into an unknown, to be sure, however, we will have the perfect guide. Dependable, trustworthy, knowledgeable, kind, wise and owning all the resources that we may need on our journey. We don’t really have to fear leaving the unsatisfactory life we have grown accustomed to because we will be following on the heels of the Master who has all we need to find success, joy, peace, and abiding love.

I will show you…

When Jesus told the fishermen He would show them how to fish for men, He was merely taking something they knew about and translating it into a way to build relationships with people that would change them for the better, forever. We don’t truly change because we are good at following rules. Lasting transformation comes from investing in others… in relationships. He wants to show us how to grow in our relationships with others. Particularly at home. And He will use what we have, our skills and talents and passions and show us how to love better than we ever have.

If you have made the decision to leave your comfort zone and come to Jesus, then it is time to follow Him. You can’t just stay where you are. Following Him means that you are moving.  And as you move with Him, allow Him to take what you have … your talents, your strengths, your passion… and begin to fashion them in such a way that your relationships will grow and flourish and transform the people you love.

If you are looking for change in your relationships, don’t look at the other people. Look at yourself. Are you stuck? Have you refused the invitation to walk away from the old life and come to Jesus?  Are you following Him? Or have you determined your own path?  Have you given Him all that you are in order for Him to build you up into what others need to see, the image of Jesus and His love?

His request is timeless. Will you come, follow and allow Him to show you how to love? That’s what the world needs… what our neighborhoods need… what our homes need … more than anything…And we can’t do it without leaving where we are, coming to Jesus and following Him so that He can show us the way.

The Love...Not The List

Just before Jesus was handed over to be tried and crucified, He gave the disciples one last message. One that would be their strength and their courage and their endurance in the difficult days to follow… in all the difficult days that followed, even for you and for me and the difficult days we encounter in the 21^st century. Jesus called it a “new” command. “Love one another… As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” But what is new about LOVE? How is that a “new” commandment?

It’s the “as I have loved you” part that brings new light to LOVE. We define love as a feeling of affection, a fondness, a warmth in the spirit. But that is not the essence of true love. Jesus loved ugly people with ugly habits and ugly intentions. Jesus loved those who persecuted Him. Jesus loved those who kept getting it wrong, even though He was right there showing them right. Jesus loved regardless of receiving no love back.

Jesus took on flesh and became fully man when he was here so, as a human, how was He able to love so well in spite of the way He was treated? Our humanness is what makes it so hard for us to love without conditions and without limits. When our tank is emptied by the stress of difficult relationships, we tend to run out of the love we are supposed to be extending and our heart closes up shop. How did that NOT happen to Jesus? It was His Father that filled his love tank. You see, God IS LOVE, therefore, God in your heart brings love to your life. Withholding love from anyone until they shape up and make a deposit in your tank is simply not the way of Jesus.

Imagine this scenario…

You are on trial, being accused of being a horrible follower of Jesus.  Your attorney is defending you, telling the jury that you attend church almost every week. You put $ in the offering. You volunteer at charities a few times a year. You do devotions at least 3 days a week. You were baptized as a kid. You sing on the worship team, rock babies in the nursery and can quote a half dozen verses of scripture. There is a Bible with highlighted verses on your coffee table and you rarely allow expletives to escape. The jury is nodding in agreement that you are a fine follower.

Now the prosecutor takes over. She looks straight at the jury and tells them that Jesus was never really about a list of things to do and not do. Jesus himself said that the new command was to love each other just as He loved. She continues as she paces back and forth in front of the jury…  “He gave to those who had nothing to give back. He healed those who didn’t say please and thank you. He loved those who persecuted Him and called for His death. And with his last few breaths He demonstrated that great love, by asking God to forgive them for their cruelty to Him.” And then she closes with this, “Love is what defines us as a follower of Jesus, not Lists.”

Now the jury must decide if you are a follower… a legit follower of Jesus. You look over at them and they look back at you. As you lock eyes, you see that the jury is made up of your spouse and your children; your in-laws and your neighbors; your boss and your co-workers. What will the verdict be?

It’s fairly easy to consider ourselves good and godly people, but if our love is the determining factor, do we still measure up to what we want to be? To whom we are called to be?

Perhaps today is the day for you to clean out the anger and frustration and bitterness that has set up housekeeping in your heart and make room for God to fill you with His love. When that happens, don’t keep it! Give it away freely, because as long as you are giving it away and not allowing the bitter junk to come back, God will keep filling and filling and filling…

So, go love!... The Jesus way!

The Fallacy of Feelings

When we start out to do something right… good… even excellent… why is it that we have so much trouble sticking to it? It’s January and new practices are starting in the lives of people all over the world… but few will see them through for the entire year. Maybe it’s because it is HARD to change our mindset and keep our focus on the end goal. It is easy to get caught up in the emotions of the moment and chart a new course as our feelings dictate.

What kind of adventure are you planning? How are your feelings keeping you from getting there? Let me help you think about this…

You want to eat healthier, until you feel like you have done that long enough to deserve a splurge and that feeling of entitlement sends you directly to Dunkin Donuts and sabotages your plan.

You want to exercise, but you are too tired so you don’t do it… only to discover that you really feel too tired every day.

You want to improve your marriage relationship and communicate better… but then you feel like you are the only one trying so what’s the use!

You decide to make the Bible a priority, but somedays you don’t really feel you are grasping what it is saying so you put it down and go back to letting the pastor tell you about the Bible on Sundays.

You want to get your family to church with more regularity but they make Sunday morning such a challenge that you begin to feel like it really isn’t worth the hassle.

You want to get your spending under control and live with margin so that you can save for what you want, but then you see how others live and you feel  like you are depriving yourself too much so you abandon the budget and get what you want.

You want to be consistent with your kids and expect them to respect you and others, but you are exhausted at the end of the day and feel like turning your head to their behavior is just going to make life easier.

I’m guessing that there have been many nods of the head as you read through those scenarios. We all fall prey to our feelings and they destroy our futures. I once heard it said that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just ARE. Don’t beat yourself up for your feelings, just don’t let them run your life. It is easy to feel, but it is difficult to do the right thing in spite of those feelings.

DON’T GIVE UP!

SATISFYING SELF IS A DEADLY TRAP!

When you have one of those feelings that will cause you to redirect your behavior in a negative way, take control! Feelings are only bad if they are controlling you. When you control them, it’s a whole different story. Engage your brain and look to the future. What will be the result of caving to the feelings of entitlement, exhaustion, injustice, self-pity, gluttony, laziness, inconsistency? Where will you end up?  Rather, think about the end goal. What kind of marriage do you want to build? What kind of children do you want to raise? What kind of financial security do you want? What kind of knowledge would you like to acquire? What kind of health would you like to be in?

Don’t live only to satisfy your own (sinful) desires, for that will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But live to please God, so you can live life more fully every single day. Don’t get rid of the practice of doing good, of being kind, of showing unconditional love, of living to honor others because, in the end, we all want to reap a harvest of blessings.       From Galatians 6:8-9

Happy New You!

A new year. A clean slate. Where do I begin? Perhaps you are asking those same questions. We all hope for a better year, but what will we do to make it happen?

In 2017 my husband and I both spent time in the hospital. That is something I would like to eliminate from 2018. We all have some degree of control over our health and should do all we can to care properly for our bodies. But, there are some things that are out of our control. What can you do to better honor the body God has given you so that you will be able to do what he planned for you before you were even born?

In 2017 our youngest son went through a very difficult time and was too far away for us to be with him. As much as I wanted to, I realize there is no way that any of us can take the pain from someone and shoulder it ourselves. We can, however, be there to listen and encourage and pray for them as they walk through the valley. Are there ways you can walk alongside a friend during their struggles? Can you allow the Light to shine from you to direct them along the way?

In 2017 my mother was taken to the hospital with what appeared to be stomach flu and in a week she was gone. The grief over that loss is still fresh and painful. I cannot bring her back, nor would she want to return to her broken body, but I have learned much about life through her passing that I hope will make me a better person in 2018 than I was in 2017.  For one thing, you can never love someone too much or tell them too many times that you love them. There isn’t a limit on kindness and forgiveness and gentleness that one should extend to others.  For another thing, it is always good to listen with your heart. The things we hear don’t always carry the intended message. Give people the benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain rather than jumping to conclusions. In many ways, I am gaining more understanding of and appreciation for my mother since she has passed. She is still teaching me. I would love to live my life in such a way that people will learn from me while I am here on this earth, as well as when I go to my final reward.

I am not fond of resolutions at the beginning of the year. I tend to find things all 12 months that I need to start or stop doing or saying or feeling. Typically these things are learned in the darkest hours. In the trials. In the challenging circumstances. I hope that your 2018 is filled with laughter and joy… but in retrospect I know that you will grow more in the struggles, so I must wish you a few of those, as well.

As a parent, there will be laughter and there will be pain. You have to grow and learn something new with every stage of development your kids encounter. Adults change, too, so your marriage is evolving and you should be learning to love better in the place you currently are, rather than doing the same things you have always done. Things at work tend to change as well. Will you embrace it and learn and grow or grumble all the way though it?

I guess what I am trying to say is that we really mustn’t curse the darkness, but use it to find the Light. Without those difficult times, we tend to think we have things under control and the truth is, very little is ever in our control. Just when we have something mastered, another thing arises. Nothing truly remains the same throughout our life. Except for God. Because of that, it is imperative that those who desire to follow God’s perfect will, must stay connected to Him.  That is my 2018 prayer for you. Connect with God in new and real ways. Let Him make you a new person. Here are some suggestions to make that happen.

Be in the Word. Learn with another follower. Let His truth transform you (Romans 12)

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person.

Be a person who prays. Talk to Him and listen with your heart. Say the Lord’s Prayer daily and meditate upon its meaning.

Let praise and thankfulness always be in your heart.

Happy New You!

The Prince of Peace

In less than a week we will celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace. Interestingly, this is the time of year when things are crazy busy and anxiety runs at an all-time high for many of us. How do we reconcile that in our mind, and in our heart? I think, as I ask this rhetorical question, I can hear Cindy Lou Who singing, “Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?” It is nearly impossible to find the Prince of Peace, the originator of this beautiful holiday, when our lists are so long, our families are so … difficult, expectations are so high and energy is so low!

Can you just sit back and relax a few minutes while I share a few thoughts on how to find the Prince of Peace. Light a candle, grab a cup of hot chocolate and a Christmas cookie (well, not at my house since I haven’t done the least bit of Christmas baking) and just breath in the peace of Christmas.

Peace is strength. Like the calm after the storm, God’s peace gently wafts over us and would go completely unnoticed, had we not just experienced the typhoon of life in the previous days, weeks or maybe even months. Just like the Hebrew children wandering in the wilderness for 40 years when it was right there within reach after a few days journey, we are tossed be one storm after another. The Prince of Peace is right there. He never left. He is sustaining you as you struggle to stand in the forceful winds of trying times. And He will bring you peace, but not without first bringing you the strength to withstand the storm.

Peace is tranquility. We find it in the cease fire moments of life. When we stop trying to be right and invest, instead, in doing right. Battles will overtake us if we look for peace as if were a trophy case where we display our supreme ability to win. Rather than seeking to be the loudest voice with the strongest argument, perhaps we find the tranquility our heart desires when we lay down our armaments and extend the olive branch.

Peace is courage.  When we are afraid, we are not at peace. Our focus is on our anxiety and not on the Peace that can calm our fears. It’s true. We live in a dark, scary, troubles world and have every reason to feel afraid. But perfect love casts out fear, according to scripture. If we focus our attention on loving others, our fears begin to decrease. If we allow others to love us, the way they love (even if it doesn’t really look like love to us), and receive it as a special gift, we tend to lose our grip on the fear of not being loved… or not being lovable. Let God’s love fill you to overflowing and you will find that fear no longer rules your heart and courage has taken up residence. That is a worthy place for peace to find a home.

Peace is joy. Like the innkeeper in the Christmas story proclaiming, “No Room,” to Joseph, we seem to have filled our lives to the fullest capacity, leaving no room for joy. Activities, even of the sweetest variety, tend to run us ragged until we have lost the joy that we know in our hearts is the gift God is trying to give us. Keeping the Joy Giver close at all times, helps us to untangle the calendar that has us completely overwhelmed and begin to realize that joy is a decision we make with every task on our To Do list. Joy is the gift that comes directly from the Prince of Peace. We just have to take the time to breathe and smile and unwrap it!

Peace is Grace. In the carol, Silent Night, there is a verse that describes the Christ child as the “dawn of redeeming grace.” Christmas represents the beginning of reconciliation between God and His beloved people. It is the beautiful story of grace… unmerited favor… undeserved forgiveness… beautiful redemption. Jesus, the baby laid in the manger, showers us with the grace that He fully intends us to “re-gift.”  If you really are searching for the peace of heaven, extend grace to those who are on your last nerve and making life difficult. They have a story. You may never understand it, but they are loved by the One who left heaven to come and bring peace to them and to you.

May your Christmas be filled with…

Joy

Grace

Courage

Strength

Tranquility and

The presence of the

Prince Of Peace

Merry Christmas!

Everlasting Father

The

people

walking

in darkness

have seen a great

light
on those living

 in the land of deep darkness

a bright light has dawned.
You have increased their

 joy

For to us a child is born

For unto us a son is given

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God

Everlasting

Father

Prince of Peace

We have all been there. Clouds rolling in. Darkness settling. Confusion. Despair. Loneliness. Questions we can’t seem to find answers for.

What we need is for someone to turn on the light, show us the right direction, bring us clarity, chase away the fear, and walk beside us on our journey so we are not facing this alone. When the darkness settles in, our joy escapes and we don’t even know which direction to go to find it again.

Perhaps this is where you find yourself this Christmas season. When you got married you were expecting to find fulfillment, unconditional love, and happily ever after. But trials came and darkness started to seep in a bit at a time until one day you woke up and discovered you are totally on the  wrong trajectory to get you to that happily ever after you were sure was waiting for you. Now you are plodding in the joyless darkness, hating your life and trying desperately to find the love that seems to be eluding you. The spark has died and you are in the darkest place you could be, perhaps even considering walking away from this seemingly hopeless marriage.

If you are reading this and you can't identify with that hopelessness, you probably know someone who can, so, keep reading. There is HOPE and, just as the Hope of the world was found in the unlikeliest place that first Christmas morning, so is the hope for restoring the love to a marriage. You see, when we feel hopeless, we tend to in the palace, just like the Wisemen did. When you are looking for a baby King, that just makes sense. But they didn’t find Him there. And they didn’t give up. Even though the star led them to an animal trough.

When trouble hits at home, most of us look for relief … probably not at a palace, but, maybe at the mall, in a bottle of wine, in a carton of ice cream, in friendships, and eventually, perhaps on dating websites. That is truly how the world we live in seeks to find solace, but when we think like the world thinks, we end up lost… just like the world. Save yourself time and a whole lot of trouble… DON’T GO THERE!

You have a WONDERFUL COUNSELOR who is calling you to look to Him for guidance; who is asking you to be open and honest about how you got to this dark place; who has the answers you need to find your way back to healing and restoration.

You have a MIGHTY GOD who is sending reminders to you multiple times a day that He is big enough to blow away that cloud that seems to follow you everywhere. With every sunrise and sunset, He reminds you that He knows how to keep the entire universe in order and can certainly do the same for you, if you allow Him to do so.

You have an EVERLASTING FATHER whose love for you is beyond anything you can ever comprehend. He wants you to understand that love. He demonstrated it when He willingly left heaven to be born into poverty; to be doubted and misunderstood for the entire time He was here; to realize that a torturous death would come to Him from the hands of those He came to love. And in case that wasn’t enough for you to see His love, He told the story of a Father and his love for his son who had turned away from his family, squandered his inheritance, lived a riotous life and had done everything imaginable to break the relationship between himself and his family. Do you know the reaction of that father when he saw his son returning home? He cast aside his dignity, his pride, his social standing and, breaking tradition and the expectations of society, he literally bolted out to greet him before anyone could get to him and tell him he was unworthy to return.

Do you know what the son brought to the father in order to be restored? Nothing but shame and sorrow and humility. He asked nothing but to be a servant in his father’s house. But the father’s love wouldn’t hear of it. He restored him to his place in the family… because of LOVE.

The Father is ready to heal your heart and replace your brokenness with love. Perhaps you are doubtful because you have asked Him a million times to no avail...but, have you come to Him humbly… not with your list of what you need Him to do in your spouse’s heart… but in yours. Humility is the beginning of healing. It started in a manger and it continues as we come to Him, our Everlasting Father, knowing we are in darkness and need His light. 

Understand what I am saying here. Humility is not thinking that you are a loser… it is not being downtrodden and thinking less of yourself, at all. Humility is simply thinking of yourself less. Often, in our pain, we are thinking thoughts like… I should be treated better… I should have married someone else… I  need more… I  deserve better… I want to be loved… and all those I statements indicate we are thinking of ourselves a whole lot, rather than thinking about our partner and their needs and their feelings and the reasons they may be behaving as they are.

I am so glad that, in the story Jesus told, the father wasn’t ashamed of the son and the things he had done. I am so glad that he didn’t shun him. I am so thankful that he wasn’t focused on the failures.  Jesus wanted us to see that, just like the father in the story, His focus is on healing and restoring us to a right relationship with Him… and beyond that, to healing our relationships with each other.

When we look inside, and ask Him to blow away the clouds of doubt and failure and selfishness and pride and envy and all the dark thoughts that the evil one has planted, we can find that light again. That spark that ignited into true love once upon a time, seemingly a lifetime ago, is still there.  Ask the Breath of Heaven to blow new life into the smoldering embers and experience true, beautiful, restorative healing in your home.

That is the best Christmas gift you can give to your children.

Seeing the Light

We had three of our grandkids with us Sunday morning and as we drove to church, the sun rise was noted by all of them. “It looks like a rainbow sunrise. I can see all the colors of the rainbow in it!” they exclaimed. Coming off of a week of vacation I was immersed in concerns of what I may have forgotten to do before I left, so I hadn’t even noticed, but the excitement in the backseat caught my attention and I looked to the horizon and saw what the delight was all about. I couldn’t help but think about how I was missing the beauty of His light as I sat in the darkness. But, truly the darkness was being overcome by the light… by the promise of God as prophesied by Isaiah, six centuries before Jesus came as the Light of the world.  “For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine” (Isaiah 9:2).

The Light is Jesus. God in the flesh, who left heaven to come show us the way back to the One who made us to reflect His light. He made Himself known and made it abundantly clear that He is the Light that would dispel the darkness, yet we continue to stumble in the dark. Why is that? Why do we not see and reflect the light of God? Perhaps we simply aren’t looking in the right direction and we need to hear some joyful children reminding us of the Mighty God prophesied by Isaiah.

It is a busy time of year in homes all across America. Baking. Decorating. Concerts. Visits. Shopping. Wrapping. Parties. Life is just different in December than any other month… yet much the same. There is still laundry and dishes, menus and meal prep, homework and headaches, work and swim meets and basketball games. So, we are doubly busy and the joy is rapidly sucked right out of us as we charge, full speed ahead. Is there a remedy for December overload?

Isaiah went on to say of Jesus that, “He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God…” (Isaiah 9:6). Maybe we don’t see Him entirely that way. If He is truly a wonderful counselor, should we not be transparent and completely honest with him about where we are and what is going on in our lives? If he is a wonderful counselor, would we not take the time to listen to what he has to say and heed his advice? Maybe, instead, we simply see him as a sounding board to receive our complaints and don’t care to listen to his wise counsel because, all along we have been making the decisions that have our lives in a flurry of craziness.

What does your home look like this holiday season? What is the focus of your conversations? Will your children learn of the Wonderful Counselor and Mighty God that came from heaven to show us the way to live in His light? Or will they simply see you stressed and overwhelmed with all the extra activities of the season and the darkness that is closing in around you? I am glad that I don't have kids under my roof watching me this year... or last. I am as guilty as anyone of taking on so many good and wonderful things that I end up crazy busy and missing the joy I should be feeling over the best gift of all time.

Dear, loving, hard working, well meaning, excellent parents,
Know that I am saying a prayer for you tonight and will do so many times this month. I am praying that you will have the strength and wisdom to say NO a few times so that you can say YES to the best things about Christmas. I pray that you will take those precious children God has entrusted to you beyond the sparkle and excitement of the bearded man in red, and even beyond the babe in the manger. Help them to see the Mighty God that we can never comprehend… especially when our focus is so narrow that we forget He is the Master, the Creator, the One who put all things in order and made each of us to be a part of that miraculous plan. Magnify Him so that they catch a glimpse of the Wonderful Counselor  who loves them enough to listen to them; to bring them into His presence and guide them with His light and His love. I pray that you will let them know He created them to walk in His light so they can find fulfillment in His plan for their lives. Bring the LIGHT of Jesus into your home this Christmas, and let go of anything that keeps you from doing so. And know that I am praying for you to find peace and joy as the days bring us closer and closer to Christmas.