The Vessel

The word is out. People must be talking about how much I love helping families find more joy and fulfillment because more and more people ask me how they can have a better relationship with their kids or their spouse. Women want to know how they can be a Godly woman. The answer is clearly found all over the pages of scripture, God is LOVE, so go love!

The whole thing gets complicated, however, as each person tries to sort out what LOVE is. What does love look like when you are sad or mad or struggling with …. life? How was love manifested in your home as a child and is that what you want for your kids? Does it differ from the way your husband or wife received love as a child? Is there a right way and a wrong way to show love? What about tough love? How long should I continue to give love when there is no love coming back?

These are all good questions and all worthy of discussion, but if you truly want a happy and emotionally healthy life, you have to look directly at the life a Jesus and see how He allowed the supernatural love of God to live in him and spill over to others. His was a sacrificial love. He didn’t ask for anything in return or expect anything up front. His was a non-discriminant love. He loved all people, regardless of what society thought of them. His was an everlasting love. It had no beginning and no ending. By comparison, we tend to feel like we have to expect something in return for our love. We shy away from those who are difficult or have lived in such a manner that they don’t ‘deserve’ to be lavished in love. We wait to see if it makes sense to invest our love and if bad behavior ensues, we pull out and slam the door.

A young mother recently told me that she has never felt more like she is living her life for  God than in recent months. It isn’t about doing everything right, or reading more or praying more or going to church more… although those are important to her. It is because she is putting love into action and not being content to consider love as a feeling or a phase you use with someone special. She is going outside of her comfort zone and giving to someone who has no possible way of giving back. Someone who has made harmful choices. Someone most would walk away from.

I know why she feels God using her… why she feels His presence… why she feels fulfilment.

“If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:12)

Think about that…  Do you struggle to feel God in your life? Perhaps that is because you are defining love as a feeling, or as something that has a price tag… something that must be deserved or earned in order to be received. If you struggle to continue to love in difficult situations, then stop loving with human power and allow God’s love to flow through you and overflow to everyone on your path.

The part of that verse that I just can’t stop marveling at is that, if we love one another, “God’s love is made complete in us.” The implication I keep seeing is that, without us as a vessel for His love, His love is incomplete. The God … who IS love, has chosen us to complete that perfect love… and frankly… we are far from perfect!

My conclusion is that love isn’t love at all if we can do it alone, without God in us. We will fail miserably, in time, and we will never find fulfilment and joy and create a home where love is the foundation.

When you stop and think about it, it’s pretty amazing that God chooses us to be the vessel for a love that is perfect, yet incomplete, if we don’t choose to carry it in us. Wow! If you truly want to be a Godly husband and father, a Godly wife and mother, then GO LOVE ONE ANOTHER with the powerful love of God in you.