Giving Love - Giving Life

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, have you thanked God for the beautiful sunrise this morning or the changing seasons that make Indiana a special - though unpredictable- place to live? Did you thank Him for the furnace that kicks on to keep you from suffering in the cold? Have you thanked Him for those in your tribe that make you laugh or tell you the truth that you need to hear? Have you thanked Him for the food in your fridge or the people around your table? Have you thanked Him for the person who is willing to go to work every day to provide for your needs or the job that helps you to have the things that most of the world would consider luxuries? Chances are, you have all those things for which to give thanks, which by the world's standard, makes you rich. So I am following the instructions of the Apostle Paul in 1 Timothy 6: 17-19 and teaching...

"...those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment."

This is your public service reminder that God is your provider, not your boss or your job or your bank account. God is the own who makes all things possible so that your needs can be met and He wants you to enjoy His provision for you.

This verse, however, doesn't just speak to me of His provision for our physical needs. There is more that God provides for our enjoyment. Our relationships would be high on that list. Our connection with the world outside of our comfort zone, perhaps across the globe. Perhaps just across town. There are suffering children who are in need of clean water to drink or a warm coat for the winter. Are you living in a way that allows you to help in some small way, or are you extended beyond your means so that you can't bless those in need?

 "Tell them to use their money to do good.

 They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need,

 always being ready to share with others. " 

So I am again taking the instruction of Paul and asking if you would be willing to give up Starbucks for a month or cable for a month or take your clothing budget for a month or remove unhealthy food from your shopping list so that you can give that money to someone in need? Maybe you can give without sacrificing any of those things. Great! But what if you couldn't? Would your heart join with the heart of God in caring for those you don't even know and loving enough to sacrifice for them and use your money to do good?

Let's bring that closer to home. What about when the people right under your roof are in need of things less tangible? They are fed and clothed and given more than anyone truly needs. But, what about their emotional needs? What about their need to know they are forgiven, loved, valued for their uniqueness? Perhaps that is the most pressing need in your family. Are you willing to break down the walls you have erected over time to protect yourself and truly give yourself - your whole self to loving generously? I know that you are afraid of being hurt or rejected, but sitting alone behind that wall is a self-inflicted loneliness that brings its own pain. 

My prayer for you and your family this holiday season is that you would be willing to be rich in love and generous to those who need that love, including yourself. Share your love. Share generously. Open yourself up to receive the love you have been rejecting because... according to the writer of most of the New Testament,

By doing this they will be storing up their treasure 

as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life."

Give love ~ Give life ~ Make a better future

When Your Tank Is Empty

There are times in every marriage when we feel that our emotional tank is empty. Kids, busy schedules, lack of time to connect, a partner that is completely unaware of your needs. All this and more play a part in draining our tanks. Yet, we are commanded to love each other. Honor others above ourselves (which most definitely includes our spouse) and treat others the way we want to be treated. How does one do that without any reserves? When the account is overdrawn? When there is so little left of you that giving more to anyone will cause you to vaporize and completely lose yourself?

Take a look at the story of the poor widow in Luke 21. It is a story of giving out of your emptiness, rather than out of your plenty. Jesus compares the large gifts from the rich that are meaningless because they didn't require a sacrifice, to the tiny, seemingly pointless giving of the widow who had virtually nothing of value to offer. But. She. Gave. Let's bring that story home for just a moment and allow Jesus to address you, regarding your emptiness...

"I tell you the truth. 

This poor widow has put in more than all the others. 

All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; 

but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on." 

 (Luke 21:3-4)

I truly doesn't make sense, from a fiscal or mathematical or psychological viewpoint to give out of nothing and end up a winner. But, if Jesus says she is a winner, I'm going with that!  

May I just encourage you right now, if your tank is feeling sucked dry. You don't have to dive in and find that last drop of emotional energy and give it to the person you have pledged to love forever. You really don't have to find the will to give just a little bit more, knowing there will be nothing coming back to you. If your tank feels empty and there is nothing more for you to give, then you only have to give what you are receiving from the Spirit that lives within you. Don't continue to give what isn't in you, but give what is in Him. 

When we cannot give one more ounce of love on our own, we can call out to the Author and Creator of Love and ask Him for a refill that is bigger than our space can contain so it can spill out to our family, our partner, our co-workers, our neighbors, our parents. Don't hoard it because you are starving to be and to feel love. Give it away and you will discover a rich blessing for dropping the walls and loving generously. 

Will you trust God enough to ask for more of His love so you can continue to love well? You can trust Him because He never ever runs out and He is thrilled to see His children love with an everlasting love. If you want a double blessing in your  marriage, work diligently to be the one who loves the best...BUT never ever try to do that alone. You need the real love that comes from your relationship with God. Draw closer. Let Him fill you. Then let it spill out all over your little corner of the world. Like the poor widow, you will be blessed for your generosity.

Love Generously

Do you want your marriage to be blessed by God? Do you want it to thrive? Do you want to find happiness and fulfillment with the one to whom you have pledged your love for a lifetime? If you are married or hope to be, the sensible answer to those questions would be a resounding YES!  In 43 years of practicing marriage, Dana and I have learned the secret and I am going to share it with you in this blog. (If medical doctors who train for decades are still “practicing” medicine and taking lives into their hands, then we can still be “practicing” marriage and teaching how it’s done, right?)

This month at church we are hearing a series on living generously. I want to bring that home by telling you that the secret to a happy, blessed marriage is to live generously. To give generously. Your time and your attention and your effort to bring joy into the life of your spouse are ways that you can give generously and receive a blessing.

You may be thinking, I have done that for a long time and I get nothing (or very little) in return. Why should it always be me on the giving end? No judgment here! I lived with those thoughts for several years. And I was not a very happily married woman. I thought I was living generously by giving him what I felt he wanted, but the blessing wasn’t returned. It seemed he was happy with my offering and enjoyed the benefits without ever realizing I was sitting in a puddle of self-pity waiting for him to reciprocate. My motives were not entirely selfish. I wanted to bless and please my husband, but there was something in me that was waiting for the volley to come back to my side of the net.

Jesus addresses this sort of “what about me” attitude in Luke 14.

“But when you give a banquet, invite those who are poor.

Also invite those who can’t see or walk.  Then you will be blessed.              

At a glance, that doesn’t look like marital advice, but looking deeper you can see that He is teaching us that the purest generosity is when we give our very best without hope of gaining anything in return. What’s the end game of living generously? You will be blessed. Giving with the expectation of a return on your investment, is business, not marriage. So the attitude with which you give directly impacts the blessing you will receive. And that blessing comes from the Supreme Giver of blessings, not from your spouse. Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong place.

The lesson I learned a few decades back was that I should not look for a blessing from my husband who doesn’t know what I need, unless I tell him… and drop that absurd philosophy of, “If he really loved me he would just know.” My blessings come when my heart is pure and my giving is drawn from the well of God’s love inside of me. This practice only works when God is the source of my love, not my own self-sacrifice or determination. Walking though life holding the hand of my Savior, knowing Him, listening to Him, following Him, meditating on His Word, seeking, asking, growing, living for Him and with Him will bring me to a place where I am truly blessed. The blessing comes from living the love that He brings me, not receiving the love someone else has for me.

Don’t get me wrong… I love being loved the way my husband loves me. I love the way he looks at me and smiles like I am still his bride, the way he provides for me, listens to me, holds me, makes me laugh, patiently teaches me… and that list goes on and on because he, too, has learned to love out of the overflow of God’s love in him. It is a blessing to do life with an imperfect human who is growing and learning and loving better all the time. But, the blessing of a godly husband does not compare to the blessing God gives in response to my unselfishness.

I am still a work in progress, but I have walked with Jesus long enough to know that giving of myself, without expectation of a return, provides me with the blessing of the God who sees into my heart and uncovers my motives. Loving to receive love is selfish and selfishness is actually the opposite of love.

“For God so loved the world that He GAVE…”

Will you take the challenge to love generously? Will you be willing to give and expect nothing in return? Can you devote yourself to sitting at the feet of the Author of Love and learn what it means to love your neighbor (or your spouse) as you love yourself? If so, be prepared to experience the joy of His blessing. If you feel drained and done with loving sacrificially, check your motives. You may be resorting to your default setting of loving in order to be loved. Ask God to show you how to love generously. That is a prayer He loves to answer!

Blessing 101

We are blessed to bless. Our lives are not filled with joy so we can hoard it. Our cupboards are not full so we can be gluttons. Our gas tank isn’t full so we can stay home. Our heart isn’t kind so we can savor it. Grace hasn’t bathed us so we can gloat over our good fortune. We are blessed with all kinds of blessings on a regular basis, not so that we can gather them into the museum in our heart, but so that we can, in turn, bless others. Mark Batterson says, “The way we turn a blessing into a double blessing is by flipping the blessing. In other words, we get a blessing by giving a blessing. That is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural, but that is the miracle. And you will be a bigger blessing to more people because of it.”

When was the last time you called a family meeting to discuss how you might bless another person… another family?  With Thanksgiving creeping up on us, what a beautiful time to teach the kids what a blessing is and our responsibility to carry blessings to others as ambassadors of Jesus. How do you start? I was listening to Brian Dixon on a podcast the other day. He has written a book called, Start With Your People. On the podcast he talked about the importance of starting whatever passion, mission, business or blessing that you have been called to, with the people closest to you. If you are busy blessing the world around you, your kids will not learn well, unless they also see it happening under your own roof.

Let me caution you, however, because there is a difference between blessing your kids and spoiling them. One way teaches them to be a blessing and the other teaches them to be entitled… and nobody wants that! Giving them what they want, when they want it, no matter how inconvenient it is or how tired you are sends the direct message that they are more important than you. You have just showed respect the door and it is on its way out!

When you do something kind for someone, include them. “I know Daddy has been really working hard this week so let’s bless him by making our home a peaceful place for him and have all our chores done before he gets home.” “Mommy isn’t feeling well, let’s clean up the kitchen together and be a blessing to her so she can rest.” “Your sister is struggling with her math so let’s go pray with her so she can calm down and work through it. Wouldn’t that be a great blessing?” “Grandpa has a lot of leaves in his yard. Let’s be a blessing to him and go rake them.”

If your kids are older and the above suggestions are not going to work for them, just be a blessing to your family and your neighbors and co-workers. At dinner or in the car on the way home from practice you can tell them about it. “I got bless Ida today. I just felt like she is probably lonely since her husband died and so I took lunch to her and had a little visit while we ate. She was so glad for the company and it felt good to be a blessing to her, but I think I got more out of it than she did!” They don’t need to see you being a martyr and making huge sacrifices. That sends the opposite message from the joy of being a blessing.

Wives, be a blessing to your husband by seeing who they are, trusting them, honoring them in whatever manner brings joy. Husbands, be a blessing to your wives by listening and learning what brings them joy. Parents, be a blessing to your kids by giving them your attention and teaching them how to bless others, while saying NO to the self-centeredness that will end up eating them alive. Remember, Jesus himself said that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Live like you mean it!

"Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father..."

James 1:17

We are created in the image of a Giver, therefore, if we are not giving,  we are like a fish out of water  and will never realize the blessing that is ours for the taking.

Choosing Your Herd

My grandkids swim. Really well, if I do say so myself. I do not, but I enjoy watching them. One of the things they have taught me is that if you want to improve your time you need someone in the lane next to you that swims faster than you. Without a winner beside you, it’s easy to believe that you are clipping along pretty quick and you don’t end up improving your time at all.

Parents typically want to know something about their kids friends and families before they allow their kids to spend a great deal of time with them. When they spend time with whiners, they tend to whine. When they spend time with kids who are polite, it seems to improve their manners.

When I am with friends that eat healthy, it’s easier to make good decisions about what I eat. When I am with a friend who is a shopper, it’s easier for me to purchase something I don’t really need. The point that I am making is nothing you don’t already know. We are all impacted, one way or the other, by the people with whom we spend our time.

That being said, who are those people in your life that you want in the lane next to you, helping you to be the best you can be? Who will help you on your faith journey? Who will help you be a stronger parent? Who will help you make wiser financial decisions? Who is that couple who you want to model your marriage after?

It matters a great deal who your kids spend time with. It also matters who YOU spend time with. The law of association is a real thing, so how about taking inventory of those people you socialize with most. Are they heading in the direction you must go in order to achieve the goals you have for yourself and your family? Are they helping you draw closer Jesus? Is their influence making your marriage stronger? If not, beware. If you don’t want to change your goals, perhaps it is time to change the herd you are running with. Just because everyone seems to moving in the same direction, doesn’t mean it is the right direction for you.

“One day Jesus said to his disciples,

“There will always be temptations to sin,

but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.”"

Life is hard. Adulting is harder. Parenting is the hardest! We are going to mess it up. Jesus knew that when He said "there will always be temptations to sin." Why make it worse by rubbing shoulders with those who don’t value your faith journey, your life goals, your plans for the future of your family? Those with whom we associate on a regular basis have the most power to distract us from our desired destination or to spur us on with their example and encouragement.

Choose your herd well!

Freedom

Imagine being a Jew memorizing and following 600+ laws and feeling like you can’t breathe or move without the fear of breaking a law and ending up with the wrath of God pouring down on you…a God you don’t know or feel a connection to. Simply a powerful Being with really high expectations and lightening bolts coming from His eyes. Hundreds of years of being bound to these rules. So long that you have no clue of the reason behind them. Only that there is danger if you fail to follow them.

Fast forward to the time of Jesus… over a dozen centuries later. The men who were the guardians and enforcers of those laws ask the Man who claimed to be the Messiah which of those laws was the most important. So many rules to choose from and the one He chose wasn’t measurable. Love God. Totally and completely. How do you measure that? How can you tell how you compare to your neighbor?

He didn’t stop there but added that there was a second law that went with it, like the bookends of all the laws of God. And once again, it wasn’t something that you could grade and come out on top in a competition. Love others. Respect and honor them. Don’t do or say anything hurtful, but treat them the way you wish to be treated.

Then comes the guy Paul who really did know all 600 rules and followed them to the T and persecuted anyone who didn’t measure up, especially those who were following the One who selected LOVE as the most important of all the commandments. And then came the day when he had a close encounter with LOVE. A love that gave him another chance to understand that God wasn’t interested in his performance but in his passion for serving others and loving them.

So, bring this lesson home. Do you have a list of rules in your house? Maybe they are just in your head and your kids find out what they are right after they break them. Perhaps your kids don't even know the reason behind the rules that you enforce is your love for them. Teach them that the rules you make spring from the foundation of love and the life of serving and honoring God and others. Don't create rules just fit in our culture.

I encourage you to take a look at the foundation upon which you are building your family values. Are they built on a LOVE that serves others? That sees others as valuable and cherished by God, no matter how they look or act, or drive, and treats them as such? Are your kids learning to serve others or to demand to be served? Take the time to help them “unlearn” the self-centeredness that is our innate nature. Help them to think of themselves less and others more.

In his letter to the Jesus-followers in Galatia, Paul says that there is freedom in loving and serving. That seems counter to our culture because we like to be served. How can serving others be freeing? Because when we serve, we are living out our purpose. We are free to be what we were made to be. We can keep our focus on loving God and others and find the freedom to live. Truly and abundantly blessed as we become the people we were meant to be.

Distractions

If you have been driving for long, there is likely a 100% chance that you have experienced a distraction that caused you to look away from the road and when you returned your gaze, you discovered that you were about to drop two wheels off the road (or already had). I recall a time when I was looking to the right to see the deer that had just run in front of me. While I was distracted with that, I totally missed seeing the one that was following her from the left, right into the path of my car. Fortunately, it only broke the cover of my headlight. But, frequently, distractions can cause much bigger problems than that.

Sunday, Pastor Chris shared a great message called Distractions, which you can listen to here: https://thecreekonline.net/media. In the message he talked about how our attention influences our direction (and not just when driving!) and our direction determines our destination. Think on that a moment. What grabs your attention in such a way that you are completely distracted and get off task? What distracts you to the point that you aren't even on course to land where you set out to be? What is it that causes you do drift off course?

Let me talk to you, parent to parent. Who or what needs more of your attention in order to get your kids on the right path? Not just the path to a scholarship or the path to make the team or a path to be a good friend or have good friends. What distraction in your life is keeping you from guiding them toward a Heavenly Father who made them with a purpose? What is taking so much of your time that you can't pray with them and for them and do devotions with them every single day? What distracts you from following up on the directions you have given them to make sure they are learning to do the task properly? What grabs your attention when they need it?

Let's face it... raising kids is a 24/7 kind of job. You have to stay diligent in order to train them properly and that is your job as a parent. This is not a guilt trip. Nobody has or should spend 24 hours a day focused on their kids or hovering over them. But, they need to be your priority. You have a job. You are exhausted. You have a meal to prepare. You need to taxi children all sorts of places. There are so many things that can distract us from keeping the main thing the main thing. Drifting away is natural and happens without you even noticing it. You have to be anchored in order to keep that from happening.

This week, have a listen to the sermon above and consider what is distracting you; what you are paying too much attention to. Consider the outcomes you want for your kids; the behaviors that are important; the character traits that are non-negotiable. Note the time that you are spending looking at something other than them when they are home. Think about where your focus is. Think about how that will play out years from now. Imagine the behaviors that they struggle with now and project that into their lives as teens or adults. What can you do to insure that your child knows that is a behavior that must not ride into the future with them? All of this takes SO. MUCH. TIME. It will take SO. MUCH. ENERGY. You simply can't afford to be distracted with things that are not taking you to the destination God has laid out for you and for them.

Keep your eyes on the prize and don't let distractions cause you to drift from the purpose for which you were created. Help your kids become the best version of their future self by keeping your focus on who they were created to be...followers of Jesus. Your future self will thank you some day.

Propped Up

In this last year I have struggled with being dizzy and light headed. I don't really know why. Neither do the Doctors. There are far more questions than answers. But, one thing I do know is that when I am feeling rough, before I arise to walk anywhere, I look at what is around that I can hold on to, lean against or sit on should the light headed feelings knock me down. Now, I am no petite little thing so whatever I spot to lean against must be secure and heavy and strong or there will be a really embarrassing, ugly and loud fall. It really matters what I lean on.

You are no different. Even if you are more sure footed, younger, healthier and more agile than I, there will come times when you will need something secure to lean against. King Solomon, said to be the wisest King of Israel, had some advice about the leaning thing. At surface level, it makes no sense. He tells us not to lean on what we understand. Our culture today is all about understanding ...learning... knowledge. An education and experience are sought after in order to find success. Yet, Solomon dares to say that we should not depend upon what we have come to understand. Why? Because we understand only through the finite wisdom of humanity and that is nothing short of pathetic compared to the infinite wisdom of God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

Don't depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, 

and He will show you which path to take."

Proverbs 3:5-6

At my ripe semi old age, I know that family life is the most wonderful and yet the most difficult thing that we encounter on earth. We have to blend totally different backgrounds and personalities; different beliefs and possibly different values; different cultures and different DNA to make a union. As if that is hard enough, we then add to the mix even more personalities and DNA and challenges when we add children to this already challenging situation. Of all things on this earth, humans are likely the most difficult to understand. Just too many variables involved! Our "understanding" is totally based on our own experiences and those are not the same experiences that our other family members have acquired. If we depend on our own understanding in working through the challenges of family life, we are sinking before we even leave the harbor!

So what do we do? We learn to trust the God of the Bible. We can find Him there... at least a fraction of Him- in the pages of scripture. We can discover the truth that Jesus proclaimed throughout His ministry - that the most important thing we need to do is to Love God and Love Others.  And we can follow the way of love in order to find the right path to take to create the home in which God intends for your children to grow. 

Seldom will our reaction to grumpiness and fatigue and messes and disobedience and ugly words and unmet needs be LOVE. That is not how our understanding works. Our understanding is more one of quid pro quo. God's understanding is that unless you give love you cannot ever be equipped to receive it. The giving comes first and it never stops, even when it isn't returned. 

As you walk through the rest of this week, would you consider not depending on what makes sense to you in your marriage or with your children or at your job, but rather lean on something that will not budge, EVER? Will you lean on the love of a faithful God and depend on Him to help you lean harder when the path gets more difficult? 

I hope to see you at your best and at your worst, propped up on the One who will not fail you or let you fall as long as you lean into Him. 

The Path

Wise people see danger and go to a safe place.
    But childish people keep on going and suffer for it.

Proverbs 27:12 NIrV

Are you aware that an estimated 40,000 babies are born in the United States each year who have damage to the frontal lobe of their brain that controls critical thinking, problem solving, planning, reasoning and decision making? They suffer from a completely preventable disorder called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome because their mother consumed alcohol, which passed through the placental barrier and impacted, adversely, the development of their brain. It is a tragic epidemic worldwide, for those struggling with the disorder and those who must learn to navigate a culture that is being colored by the difficulties this tragedy brings into existence.

I wonder if one of the tragedies is that our communities, being full of people who are unable to make wise decisions, give us a false sense of pride in our own decision making. We tend to be a people of comparisons. “I may not be making the best decisions, but I sure am making better ones than they are!”

Let’s bring that home….

How are your kids doing compared to the kids who are struggling with frontal lobe damage? Great, I assume! But, is that the measuring stick that God wants us to use? We have the message from the Manufacturer that tells us what our children are supposed to do. Here are a few examples that we can and should be teaching them by our words and our example:

 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)

“Honor your father and mother.” Ephesians 6:2

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.” Psalm 107:1

“Love one another. Honor one another above yourself.” Romans 12:10

“Serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

“Let no unwholesome words come from your mouth.” Ephesians 4:29

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37, 39

“Do to others what you would want them to do to you.” Matthew 7:12

In short, if we are to raise children to become adults that follow after the heart of God, we must teach them the way God created them to live. Not the way that is better than the other kids at school or a cut above the neighbors. The object is not to get them to follow rules, but to know the heart of the One who made them for a purpose. Going against His plan is like a Zebra who decides he wants to fly or a goose that would prefer to walk south for the winter. God’s ways are not about punishment, but about a plan He created for our own good.

So, what if they don’t want to go to church? What if they don’t want to have Bible stories read to them? What if they don’t want to eat their vegetables or go to bed on time? What if they prefer to hit their siblings rather than share their belongings or scream at you and refuse to listen to your instructions? What if they choose not to help around the house or they won’t do their homework? Well, there is a verse for that, too. It says, “Train a child in the way he should go,” Proverbs 22:6. The ball is in your court! You must train them by explaining that there are consequences for going down the wrong path, because no matter how badly you want them to end up in a great place, if you don’t put them on the correct path, your intentions are worthless. That means that the wrong path has to be taught as the wrong path. Period. Redirect them. Explain to them. Correct them as often as it takes to help them know that you are going to be the decision maker until they are old enough to make the right decisions on their own. It isn’t about keeping them happy. It’s about keeping them on the path to God. And don't for get to pray for wisdom. Every. Single. Day.

  “Lord, help me to see trouble coming long before it gets here. 

Give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.”

Where Are You Headed?

My husband and I were talking the other night about how the aging process naturally gives you more exercise because of all the trips you make to the other room because when you get there you don't remember why you are there so you leave, only to return later... and the cycle repeats. We don't always remember where we are headed, nor do we remember why! I hear from my younger friends that it is not a phenomenon exclusively reserved for the aging, but busy lives and brain fog are in vogue for all of us, it seems. "Where was I going?" seems to be a frequent thought for many of us.

In Jesus' message to the crowds one day, he spoke about where we should be going... where we will end up when life is over and the judgement comes. He references a group who will greet Him at the pearly gates, call Him LORD and they will not be recognized as His followers. Immediately they list their credentials and all the amazing things they did in His name. Still, it isn't ringing a bell with Jesus. He is only receiving into His Kingdom those who followed His law. Now, one would think that all those acts of service and the healings would get His attention, but nope! He is welcoming those who took the time to know Him enough to realize that what He wants from us is our time and connection to Him, not to our list of accomplishments for Him. He tells them later that the most important thing they can do is to love God with all you heart, soul, mind and strength and the second is like it.... love your neighbor as yourself.

Therefore our trajectory in life, if we hope to be a friend of God, recognized by Him as His child, is not to impress Him with all we can do for Him, but to simply take the time to sit quietly, listening and learning, reading His Word, meeting with Him for our daily assignment rather than rushing out to perform and impress Him with our servant's heart. That is completely contrary to the way our culture does life. The doing comes first and the meditation comes at the end of the day if we have checked everything off our list and can stay awake that long.

For parents, our drive is often for the good of our family. We love our kids and want to provide all we can for them. We want them to have nice things, and experience a variety of activities. We want them to know Jesus, too. But, do we have it in the right order? If you keep following the message of Jesus that day He talks about the value of knowing Him as it relates to building our home. A good. strong, solid foundation is essential for the home to survive. It's difficult to drive the footers into bedrock but, without that reinforcement, the home will collapse. In other words, finding the time to build a foundation upon your relationship with God is not going to be as easy as simply building a sand castle. I have seen some pretty impressive sand castles. The passersby look on in amazement at the time that went into creating these masterpieces. But, the wind and the rain comes and they are gone. Conversely, those homes that are founded on the solid truth that comes only from time spent with Jesus, reading and listening and "being" with Him will withstand the storms of life.

May I simply encourage you to stop and look at the road you are traveling. Is it taking you and your family to the arms of a welcoming Jesus who recognizes them as His kids? Or has your focus been on helping them to be the best dressed or best educated or most athletic or kind or serving or gifted or graceful? Is an eternity with a God they know the destination you are moving toward? Have you taken them to a place in life where they can't even consider making it through a day without genuinely connecting with Him?

If you are NOT on that road, STOP! Don't keep going and hoping that it will circle around eventually. You are going to get further and further from where you want to be. The good new is that U-turns are allowed and detours will bring you back to where you truly want to be, building your home on a foundation of connection with your God.

So, where are you headed?

Finding the Harvest

Let us not become tired of doing good. 

At the right time we will gather a crop if we don’t give up. 

Galatians 6:9

The corn is getting tall here in Indiana, telling us that the time to harvest is coming soon. I love living here for the sheer beauty of the changing seasons. Harvest is my favorite time. The air is crisp and so are the apples. It is a reminder that in order for life to be perpetuated, there has to be a sacrifice of life. That is a lesson we can bring home every day of the week. 

What does harvest look like in your marriage? In your home? In your family?  If you want to see growth in your children, childish ways must be sacrificed. If you want to see growth in your marriage, there must be a sacrifice of pride. If you want to see growth in the family, you have to sacrifice time and give more than you take. There is always something to be given up if there is something to be gained.

One of the most difficult things for most couples to give up for the greater good of the marriage is pride. I am not talking about arrogance that is easy to spot, but the true conception that I Am Right and You Are Not, which is a little trickier to spot.  We fight long and hard because we believe that we are right and will take down the whole city to prove it. It isn't just you, it is normal. Some people fight harder than others, depending upon their disposition and heritage, but none the less, there is a battle of wills that will almost always occur as two people join their lives to become one.

Perhaps we could take a look at Paul's words and restore some of our energy into the planting of seeds that will bring growth rather than burning your spouses fields to prove that your way is better. I don't think he would have said it if it wasn't a struggle to do good. "Let us not become tired of doing good." As long as I think that my way is good and your way isn't, I am going to work so hard to prove it that I will grow tired. Once exhaustion takes over, things get really ugly. 

What if we were to all take a step backward and remember that we are a team and we can harvest twice as much good if we work together. Your differences should be strengthening your marriage, not tearing it apart. Do Good for your family by taking the best in both of you and building a team that wins at life and at loving and doing good for the world. Realize that there is not just one perspective in the union, but two very different ones that can work together so much better than they can work separately. 

Allowing and encouraging your partner to bring their best to the table means you have to see and accept that their best doesn't (and is not supposed to) look at all like your best. So, don't give up ... but maybe give in... just a bit and find a compromise and build a team and have some fun morphing into the union that can be the best atmosphere to bring about a harvest of goodness in your home. 

Just Do The One Thing

In the book of John, Jesus friend and follower tells the story of one of the remarkable healings Jesus performed. As I listened to the sermon Sunday and read through it again today I think this might be one of the best stories in the Bible to direct and encourage parents, particularly Moms because I think we do guilt better than Dads do. Have a look at this what happened as Jesus walked into Jerusalem, past the spring fed pool that was said to have healing powers whenever an “angel stirred the waters”…

^3-4 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie down.

Among them were those who were blind, those who could not walk, and those who could hardly move.

Can you relate to seeing a multitude of things that need attention. You have the ability to address them and put things in order. You have the skills, and if you sleep less and work faster, you could actually put more on that list that you love to check off showing that you have accomplished more than Wonder Woman on a good hair day. In the life of a Mama, there is never time to be bored and never a day without chores and responsibilities call out to us. For some of us who have a bit of a Savior Syndrome, we even look outside our homes to come to the aid of others. It is the right thing to do, right? Jesus came to serve and we are told to be like Jesus. So, moving through life, full throttle, with barely time to sleep, we seek to accomplish as much as possible in the course of a week.

Let’s see how Jesus handled this invitation to serve a multitude of people who clearly were in need…

 ⁵ One person was there who had not been able to walk for 38 years. ⁶ Jesus saw him lying there. He knew that the man had been in that condition for a long time. So he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

I have read this story many times, but when the pastor pointed this out Sunday, it was the first time I had connected the dots to reveal Jesus problem solving skills. In the midst of great need, Jesus didn’t pull out His notebook and make a list of all the needs. He didn’t even delegate to his followers. He simply allowed God to move Him toward the one who He was to heal. One. Holding within Himself the power to do miraculous things, Jesus slowed His pace, likely spoke to His Father about the situation, then let His eye rest on the one lame man God pointed out. I imagine there is much more to the story that John didn’t write down. There was likely a conversation in order to Jesus to discover that the man had been lame for 38 years. And, do you know what I see?  Jesus listened to his story. He took the time to sit and listen rather than rush through so He could get on to the next healing.

Parents, teachers, grandparents, caregivers… when we take the time to listen to God, we are directed to the task He has laid out for us. When we busy ourselves continually, we are choosing to do what God has planned for someone else and may never get to be the gift we were created to be. Maybe you have high energy and maybe you CAN do a lot for others and for your own family, but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Stop and listen and let God direct you to the mission He created specifically for you. And let go of the guilt for not fixing everyone and everything. You weren’t called to that! You are human, not divine. Remember that!

I get it! It is so easy to operate on auto pilot and rush through life attacking this, solving that, conquering all the obstacles that are perched on your path. But, sometimes you need to just STOP AND LISTEN. Remember that every time you say YES to something, you end up saying NO to something else… even if that something else is a casual family dinner or extra cuddles at bedtime or a date with your spouse. All those things that seem to easily get shoved aside in our hectic culture, may just be the things that God is waiting for you to do in order to shape you into the person He created you to be.

Don’t forget, God didn’t say, “BE BUSY and know that I am God.”  He said, “Be still and know that I am God.” Slow down. Listen. Be a good follower. Fulfill God’s plan for YOU, not for someone else.