Blessing 101

We are blessed to bless. Our lives are not filled with joy so we can hoard it. Our cupboards are not full so we can be gluttons. Our gas tank isn’t full so we can stay home. Our heart isn’t kind so we can savor it. Grace hasn’t bathed us so we can gloat over our good fortune. We are blessed with all kinds of blessings on a regular basis, not so that we can gather them into the museum in our heart, but so that we can, in turn, bless others. Mark Batterson says, “The way we turn a blessing into a double blessing is by flipping the blessing. In other words, we get a blessing by giving a blessing. That is counter-intuitive and counter-cultural, but that is the miracle. And you will be a bigger blessing to more people because of it.”

When was the last time you called a family meeting to discuss how you might bless another person… another family?  With Thanksgiving creeping up on us, what a beautiful time to teach the kids what a blessing is and our responsibility to carry blessings to others as ambassadors of Jesus. How do you start? I was listening to Brian Dixon on a podcast the other day. He has written a book called, Start With Your People. On the podcast he talked about the importance of starting whatever passion, mission, business or blessing that you have been called to, with the people closest to you. If you are busy blessing the world around you, your kids will not learn well, unless they also see it happening under your own roof.

Let me caution you, however, because there is a difference between blessing your kids and spoiling them. One way teaches them to be a blessing and the other teaches them to be entitled… and nobody wants that! Giving them what they want, when they want it, no matter how inconvenient it is or how tired you are sends the direct message that they are more important than you. You have just showed respect the door and it is on its way out!

When you do something kind for someone, include them. “I know Daddy has been really working hard this week so let’s bless him by making our home a peaceful place for him and have all our chores done before he gets home.” “Mommy isn’t feeling well, let’s clean up the kitchen together and be a blessing to her so she can rest.” “Your sister is struggling with her math so let’s go pray with her so she can calm down and work through it. Wouldn’t that be a great blessing?” “Grandpa has a lot of leaves in his yard. Let’s be a blessing to him and go rake them.”

If your kids are older and the above suggestions are not going to work for them, just be a blessing to your family and your neighbors and co-workers. At dinner or in the car on the way home from practice you can tell them about it. “I got bless Ida today. I just felt like she is probably lonely since her husband died and so I took lunch to her and had a little visit while we ate. She was so glad for the company and it felt good to be a blessing to her, but I think I got more out of it than she did!” They don’t need to see you being a martyr and making huge sacrifices. That sends the opposite message from the joy of being a blessing.

Wives, be a blessing to your husband by seeing who they are, trusting them, honoring them in whatever manner brings joy. Husbands, be a blessing to your wives by listening and learning what brings them joy. Parents, be a blessing to your kids by giving them your attention and teaching them how to bless others, while saying NO to the self-centeredness that will end up eating them alive. Remember, Jesus himself said that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Live like you mean it!

"Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father..."

James 1:17

We are created in the image of a Giver, therefore, if we are not giving,  we are like a fish out of water  and will never realize the blessing that is ours for the taking.

Choosing Your Herd

My grandkids swim. Really well, if I do say so myself. I do not, but I enjoy watching them. One of the things they have taught me is that if you want to improve your time you need someone in the lane next to you that swims faster than you. Without a winner beside you, it’s easy to believe that you are clipping along pretty quick and you don’t end up improving your time at all.

Parents typically want to know something about their kids friends and families before they allow their kids to spend a great deal of time with them. When they spend time with whiners, they tend to whine. When they spend time with kids who are polite, it seems to improve their manners.

When I am with friends that eat healthy, it’s easier to make good decisions about what I eat. When I am with a friend who is a shopper, it’s easier for me to purchase something I don’t really need. The point that I am making is nothing you don’t already know. We are all impacted, one way or the other, by the people with whom we spend our time.

That being said, who are those people in your life that you want in the lane next to you, helping you to be the best you can be? Who will help you on your faith journey? Who will help you be a stronger parent? Who will help you make wiser financial decisions? Who is that couple who you want to model your marriage after?

It matters a great deal who your kids spend time with. It also matters who YOU spend time with. The law of association is a real thing, so how about taking inventory of those people you socialize with most. Are they heading in the direction you must go in order to achieve the goals you have for yourself and your family? Are they helping you draw closer Jesus? Is their influence making your marriage stronger? If not, beware. If you don’t want to change your goals, perhaps it is time to change the herd you are running with. Just because everyone seems to moving in the same direction, doesn’t mean it is the right direction for you.

“One day Jesus said to his disciples,

“There will always be temptations to sin,

but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.”"

Life is hard. Adulting is harder. Parenting is the hardest! We are going to mess it up. Jesus knew that when He said "there will always be temptations to sin." Why make it worse by rubbing shoulders with those who don’t value your faith journey, your life goals, your plans for the future of your family? Those with whom we associate on a regular basis have the most power to distract us from our desired destination or to spur us on with their example and encouragement.

Choose your herd well!

Freedom

Imagine being a Jew memorizing and following 600+ laws and feeling like you can’t breathe or move without the fear of breaking a law and ending up with the wrath of God pouring down on you…a God you don’t know or feel a connection to. Simply a powerful Being with really high expectations and lightening bolts coming from His eyes. Hundreds of years of being bound to these rules. So long that you have no clue of the reason behind them. Only that there is danger if you fail to follow them.

Fast forward to the time of Jesus… over a dozen centuries later. The men who were the guardians and enforcers of those laws ask the Man who claimed to be the Messiah which of those laws was the most important. So many rules to choose from and the one He chose wasn’t measurable. Love God. Totally and completely. How do you measure that? How can you tell how you compare to your neighbor?

He didn’t stop there but added that there was a second law that went with it, like the bookends of all the laws of God. And once again, it wasn’t something that you could grade and come out on top in a competition. Love others. Respect and honor them. Don’t do or say anything hurtful, but treat them the way you wish to be treated.

Then comes the guy Paul who really did know all 600 rules and followed them to the T and persecuted anyone who didn’t measure up, especially those who were following the One who selected LOVE as the most important of all the commandments. And then came the day when he had a close encounter with LOVE. A love that gave him another chance to understand that God wasn’t interested in his performance but in his passion for serving others and loving them.

So, bring this lesson home. Do you have a list of rules in your house? Maybe they are just in your head and your kids find out what they are right after they break them. Perhaps your kids don't even know the reason behind the rules that you enforce is your love for them. Teach them that the rules you make spring from the foundation of love and the life of serving and honoring God and others. Don't create rules just fit in our culture.

I encourage you to take a look at the foundation upon which you are building your family values. Are they built on a LOVE that serves others? That sees others as valuable and cherished by God, no matter how they look or act, or drive, and treats them as such? Are your kids learning to serve others or to demand to be served? Take the time to help them “unlearn” the self-centeredness that is our innate nature. Help them to think of themselves less and others more.

In his letter to the Jesus-followers in Galatia, Paul says that there is freedom in loving and serving. That seems counter to our culture because we like to be served. How can serving others be freeing? Because when we serve, we are living out our purpose. We are free to be what we were made to be. We can keep our focus on loving God and others and find the freedom to live. Truly and abundantly blessed as we become the people we were meant to be.

Distractions

If you have been driving for long, there is likely a 100% chance that you have experienced a distraction that caused you to look away from the road and when you returned your gaze, you discovered that you were about to drop two wheels off the road (or already had). I recall a time when I was looking to the right to see the deer that had just run in front of me. While I was distracted with that, I totally missed seeing the one that was following her from the left, right into the path of my car. Fortunately, it only broke the cover of my headlight. But, frequently, distractions can cause much bigger problems than that.

Sunday, Pastor Chris shared a great message called Distractions, which you can listen to here: https://thecreekonline.net/media. In the message he talked about how our attention influences our direction (and not just when driving!) and our direction determines our destination. Think on that a moment. What grabs your attention in such a way that you are completely distracted and get off task? What distracts you to the point that you aren't even on course to land where you set out to be? What is it that causes you do drift off course?

Let me talk to you, parent to parent. Who or what needs more of your attention in order to get your kids on the right path? Not just the path to a scholarship or the path to make the team or a path to be a good friend or have good friends. What distraction in your life is keeping you from guiding them toward a Heavenly Father who made them with a purpose? What is taking so much of your time that you can't pray with them and for them and do devotions with them every single day? What distracts you from following up on the directions you have given them to make sure they are learning to do the task properly? What grabs your attention when they need it?

Let's face it... raising kids is a 24/7 kind of job. You have to stay diligent in order to train them properly and that is your job as a parent. This is not a guilt trip. Nobody has or should spend 24 hours a day focused on their kids or hovering over them. But, they need to be your priority. You have a job. You are exhausted. You have a meal to prepare. You need to taxi children all sorts of places. There are so many things that can distract us from keeping the main thing the main thing. Drifting away is natural and happens without you even noticing it. You have to be anchored in order to keep that from happening.

This week, have a listen to the sermon above and consider what is distracting you; what you are paying too much attention to. Consider the outcomes you want for your kids; the behaviors that are important; the character traits that are non-negotiable. Note the time that you are spending looking at something other than them when they are home. Think about where your focus is. Think about how that will play out years from now. Imagine the behaviors that they struggle with now and project that into their lives as teens or adults. What can you do to insure that your child knows that is a behavior that must not ride into the future with them? All of this takes SO. MUCH. TIME. It will take SO. MUCH. ENERGY. You simply can't afford to be distracted with things that are not taking you to the destination God has laid out for you and for them.

Keep your eyes on the prize and don't let distractions cause you to drift from the purpose for which you were created. Help your kids become the best version of their future self by keeping your focus on who they were created to be...followers of Jesus. Your future self will thank you some day.

Propped Up

In this last year I have struggled with being dizzy and light headed. I don't really know why. Neither do the Doctors. There are far more questions than answers. But, one thing I do know is that when I am feeling rough, before I arise to walk anywhere, I look at what is around that I can hold on to, lean against or sit on should the light headed feelings knock me down. Now, I am no petite little thing so whatever I spot to lean against must be secure and heavy and strong or there will be a really embarrassing, ugly and loud fall. It really matters what I lean on.

You are no different. Even if you are more sure footed, younger, healthier and more agile than I, there will come times when you will need something secure to lean against. King Solomon, said to be the wisest King of Israel, had some advice about the leaning thing. At surface level, it makes no sense. He tells us not to lean on what we understand. Our culture today is all about understanding ...learning... knowledge. An education and experience are sought after in order to find success. Yet, Solomon dares to say that we should not depend upon what we have come to understand. Why? Because we understand only through the finite wisdom of humanity and that is nothing short of pathetic compared to the infinite wisdom of God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

Don't depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, 

and He will show you which path to take."

Proverbs 3:5-6

At my ripe semi old age, I know that family life is the most wonderful and yet the most difficult thing that we encounter on earth. We have to blend totally different backgrounds and personalities; different beliefs and possibly different values; different cultures and different DNA to make a union. As if that is hard enough, we then add to the mix even more personalities and DNA and challenges when we add children to this already challenging situation. Of all things on this earth, humans are likely the most difficult to understand. Just too many variables involved! Our "understanding" is totally based on our own experiences and those are not the same experiences that our other family members have acquired. If we depend on our own understanding in working through the challenges of family life, we are sinking before we even leave the harbor!

So what do we do? We learn to trust the God of the Bible. We can find Him there... at least a fraction of Him- in the pages of scripture. We can discover the truth that Jesus proclaimed throughout His ministry - that the most important thing we need to do is to Love God and Love Others.  And we can follow the way of love in order to find the right path to take to create the home in which God intends for your children to grow. 

Seldom will our reaction to grumpiness and fatigue and messes and disobedience and ugly words and unmet needs be LOVE. That is not how our understanding works. Our understanding is more one of quid pro quo. God's understanding is that unless you give love you cannot ever be equipped to receive it. The giving comes first and it never stops, even when it isn't returned. 

As you walk through the rest of this week, would you consider not depending on what makes sense to you in your marriage or with your children or at your job, but rather lean on something that will not budge, EVER? Will you lean on the love of a faithful God and depend on Him to help you lean harder when the path gets more difficult? 

I hope to see you at your best and at your worst, propped up on the One who will not fail you or let you fall as long as you lean into Him. 

The Path

Wise people see danger and go to a safe place.
    But childish people keep on going and suffer for it.

Proverbs 27:12 NIrV

Are you aware that an estimated 40,000 babies are born in the United States each year who have damage to the frontal lobe of their brain that controls critical thinking, problem solving, planning, reasoning and decision making? They suffer from a completely preventable disorder called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome because their mother consumed alcohol, which passed through the placental barrier and impacted, adversely, the development of their brain. It is a tragic epidemic worldwide, for those struggling with the disorder and those who must learn to navigate a culture that is being colored by the difficulties this tragedy brings into existence.

I wonder if one of the tragedies is that our communities, being full of people who are unable to make wise decisions, give us a false sense of pride in our own decision making. We tend to be a people of comparisons. “I may not be making the best decisions, but I sure am making better ones than they are!”

Let’s bring that home….

How are your kids doing compared to the kids who are struggling with frontal lobe damage? Great, I assume! But, is that the measuring stick that God wants us to use? We have the message from the Manufacturer that tells us what our children are supposed to do. Here are a few examples that we can and should be teaching them by our words and our example:

 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)

“Honor your father and mother.” Ephesians 6:2

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.” Psalm 107:1

“Love one another. Honor one another above yourself.” Romans 12:10

“Serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

“Let no unwholesome words come from your mouth.” Ephesians 4:29

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37, 39

“Do to others what you would want them to do to you.” Matthew 7:12

In short, if we are to raise children to become adults that follow after the heart of God, we must teach them the way God created them to live. Not the way that is better than the other kids at school or a cut above the neighbors. The object is not to get them to follow rules, but to know the heart of the One who made them for a purpose. Going against His plan is like a Zebra who decides he wants to fly or a goose that would prefer to walk south for the winter. God’s ways are not about punishment, but about a plan He created for our own good.

So, what if they don’t want to go to church? What if they don’t want to have Bible stories read to them? What if they don’t want to eat their vegetables or go to bed on time? What if they prefer to hit their siblings rather than share their belongings or scream at you and refuse to listen to your instructions? What if they choose not to help around the house or they won’t do their homework? Well, there is a verse for that, too. It says, “Train a child in the way he should go,” Proverbs 22:6. The ball is in your court! You must train them by explaining that there are consequences for going down the wrong path, because no matter how badly you want them to end up in a great place, if you don’t put them on the correct path, your intentions are worthless. That means that the wrong path has to be taught as the wrong path. Period. Redirect them. Explain to them. Correct them as often as it takes to help them know that you are going to be the decision maker until they are old enough to make the right decisions on their own. It isn’t about keeping them happy. It’s about keeping them on the path to God. And don't for get to pray for wisdom. Every. Single. Day.

  “Lord, help me to see trouble coming long before it gets here. 

Give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.”

Where Are You Headed?

My husband and I were talking the other night about how the aging process naturally gives you more exercise because of all the trips you make to the other room because when you get there you don't remember why you are there so you leave, only to return later... and the cycle repeats. We don't always remember where we are headed, nor do we remember why! I hear from my younger friends that it is not a phenomenon exclusively reserved for the aging, but busy lives and brain fog are in vogue for all of us, it seems. "Where was I going?" seems to be a frequent thought for many of us.

In Jesus' message to the crowds one day, he spoke about where we should be going... where we will end up when life is over and the judgement comes. He references a group who will greet Him at the pearly gates, call Him LORD and they will not be recognized as His followers. Immediately they list their credentials and all the amazing things they did in His name. Still, it isn't ringing a bell with Jesus. He is only receiving into His Kingdom those who followed His law. Now, one would think that all those acts of service and the healings would get His attention, but nope! He is welcoming those who took the time to know Him enough to realize that what He wants from us is our time and connection to Him, not to our list of accomplishments for Him. He tells them later that the most important thing they can do is to love God with all you heart, soul, mind and strength and the second is like it.... love your neighbor as yourself.

Therefore our trajectory in life, if we hope to be a friend of God, recognized by Him as His child, is not to impress Him with all we can do for Him, but to simply take the time to sit quietly, listening and learning, reading His Word, meeting with Him for our daily assignment rather than rushing out to perform and impress Him with our servant's heart. That is completely contrary to the way our culture does life. The doing comes first and the meditation comes at the end of the day if we have checked everything off our list and can stay awake that long.

For parents, our drive is often for the good of our family. We love our kids and want to provide all we can for them. We want them to have nice things, and experience a variety of activities. We want them to know Jesus, too. But, do we have it in the right order? If you keep following the message of Jesus that day He talks about the value of knowing Him as it relates to building our home. A good. strong, solid foundation is essential for the home to survive. It's difficult to drive the footers into bedrock but, without that reinforcement, the home will collapse. In other words, finding the time to build a foundation upon your relationship with God is not going to be as easy as simply building a sand castle. I have seen some pretty impressive sand castles. The passersby look on in amazement at the time that went into creating these masterpieces. But, the wind and the rain comes and they are gone. Conversely, those homes that are founded on the solid truth that comes only from time spent with Jesus, reading and listening and "being" with Him will withstand the storms of life.

May I simply encourage you to stop and look at the road you are traveling. Is it taking you and your family to the arms of a welcoming Jesus who recognizes them as His kids? Or has your focus been on helping them to be the best dressed or best educated or most athletic or kind or serving or gifted or graceful? Is an eternity with a God they know the destination you are moving toward? Have you taken them to a place in life where they can't even consider making it through a day without genuinely connecting with Him?

If you are NOT on that road, STOP! Don't keep going and hoping that it will circle around eventually. You are going to get further and further from where you want to be. The good new is that U-turns are allowed and detours will bring you back to where you truly want to be, building your home on a foundation of connection with your God.

So, where are you headed?

Finding the Harvest

Let us not become tired of doing good. 

At the right time we will gather a crop if we don’t give up. 

Galatians 6:9

The corn is getting tall here in Indiana, telling us that the time to harvest is coming soon. I love living here for the sheer beauty of the changing seasons. Harvest is my favorite time. The air is crisp and so are the apples. It is a reminder that in order for life to be perpetuated, there has to be a sacrifice of life. That is a lesson we can bring home every day of the week. 

What does harvest look like in your marriage? In your home? In your family?  If you want to see growth in your children, childish ways must be sacrificed. If you want to see growth in your marriage, there must be a sacrifice of pride. If you want to see growth in the family, you have to sacrifice time and give more than you take. There is always something to be given up if there is something to be gained.

One of the most difficult things for most couples to give up for the greater good of the marriage is pride. I am not talking about arrogance that is easy to spot, but the true conception that I Am Right and You Are Not, which is a little trickier to spot.  We fight long and hard because we believe that we are right and will take down the whole city to prove it. It isn't just you, it is normal. Some people fight harder than others, depending upon their disposition and heritage, but none the less, there is a battle of wills that will almost always occur as two people join their lives to become one.

Perhaps we could take a look at Paul's words and restore some of our energy into the planting of seeds that will bring growth rather than burning your spouses fields to prove that your way is better. I don't think he would have said it if it wasn't a struggle to do good. "Let us not become tired of doing good." As long as I think that my way is good and your way isn't, I am going to work so hard to prove it that I will grow tired. Once exhaustion takes over, things get really ugly. 

What if we were to all take a step backward and remember that we are a team and we can harvest twice as much good if we work together. Your differences should be strengthening your marriage, not tearing it apart. Do Good for your family by taking the best in both of you and building a team that wins at life and at loving and doing good for the world. Realize that there is not just one perspective in the union, but two very different ones that can work together so much better than they can work separately. 

Allowing and encouraging your partner to bring their best to the table means you have to see and accept that their best doesn't (and is not supposed to) look at all like your best. So, don't give up ... but maybe give in... just a bit and find a compromise and build a team and have some fun morphing into the union that can be the best atmosphere to bring about a harvest of goodness in your home. 

Just Do The One Thing

In the book of John, Jesus friend and follower tells the story of one of the remarkable healings Jesus performed. As I listened to the sermon Sunday and read through it again today I think this might be one of the best stories in the Bible to direct and encourage parents, particularly Moms because I think we do guilt better than Dads do. Have a look at this what happened as Jesus walked into Jerusalem, past the spring fed pool that was said to have healing powers whenever an “angel stirred the waters”…

^3-4 Here a great number of disabled people used to lie down.

Among them were those who were blind, those who could not walk, and those who could hardly move.

Can you relate to seeing a multitude of things that need attention. You have the ability to address them and put things in order. You have the skills, and if you sleep less and work faster, you could actually put more on that list that you love to check off showing that you have accomplished more than Wonder Woman on a good hair day. In the life of a Mama, there is never time to be bored and never a day without chores and responsibilities call out to us. For some of us who have a bit of a Savior Syndrome, we even look outside our homes to come to the aid of others. It is the right thing to do, right? Jesus came to serve and we are told to be like Jesus. So, moving through life, full throttle, with barely time to sleep, we seek to accomplish as much as possible in the course of a week.

Let’s see how Jesus handled this invitation to serve a multitude of people who clearly were in need…

 ⁵ One person was there who had not been able to walk for 38 years. ⁶ Jesus saw him lying there. He knew that the man had been in that condition for a long time. So he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

I have read this story many times, but when the pastor pointed this out Sunday, it was the first time I had connected the dots to reveal Jesus problem solving skills. In the midst of great need, Jesus didn’t pull out His notebook and make a list of all the needs. He didn’t even delegate to his followers. He simply allowed God to move Him toward the one who He was to heal. One. Holding within Himself the power to do miraculous things, Jesus slowed His pace, likely spoke to His Father about the situation, then let His eye rest on the one lame man God pointed out. I imagine there is much more to the story that John didn’t write down. There was likely a conversation in order to Jesus to discover that the man had been lame for 38 years. And, do you know what I see?  Jesus listened to his story. He took the time to sit and listen rather than rush through so He could get on to the next healing.

Parents, teachers, grandparents, caregivers… when we take the time to listen to God, we are directed to the task He has laid out for us. When we busy ourselves continually, we are choosing to do what God has planned for someone else and may never get to be the gift we were created to be. Maybe you have high energy and maybe you CAN do a lot for others and for your own family, but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Stop and listen and let God direct you to the mission He created specifically for you. And let go of the guilt for not fixing everyone and everything. You weren’t called to that! You are human, not divine. Remember that!

I get it! It is so easy to operate on auto pilot and rush through life attacking this, solving that, conquering all the obstacles that are perched on your path. But, sometimes you need to just STOP AND LISTEN. Remember that every time you say YES to something, you end up saying NO to something else… even if that something else is a casual family dinner or extra cuddles at bedtime or a date with your spouse. All those things that seem to easily get shoved aside in our hectic culture, may just be the things that God is waiting for you to do in order to shape you into the person He created you to be.

Don’t forget, God didn’t say, “BE BUSY and know that I am God.”  He said, “Be still and know that I am God.” Slow down. Listen. Be a good follower. Fulfill God’s plan for YOU, not for someone else.

Just STOP!

I told a friend the other day, that if God gave awards for being busy, she would get first place! She jokingly replied, “He doesn’t?” I think that is the way many people envision God – as the taskmaster that is keeping score and we measure our success by our level of exhaustion. We somehow feel that filling our calendar and over-extending ourselves is much more righteous than spending time at the feet of Jesus, honoring Him with our presence and our attentiveness to His Spirit connecting with us, speaking to us, directing our days.

I have come to realize, sometime in this past decade, that busyness is a toxic form of idolatry. Our calendar is our idol and the more it is filled with our color-coded activities, the more false contentment we find until we literally become a slave to activity, trapped in a world we can’t find our way out of. We confuse serving others with serving God. Those are two totally different things.

Here’s an observation that I hope you will ponder long and hard. God doesn’t need YOU to get things done. He is GOD, for heaven’s sake! He is all powerful and all-knowing and all-wise and will get things done with you or without you. BUT, He made you for a purpose and wants to use you for that task. The only way to determine what that task is, is to STOP and listen. I totally get praying while folding laundry and praying while driving or doing dishes. I get starting the day saying good morning to God and ending it with a prayer of thanksgiving for another day. Those are great practices. But, they don’t stop you in your tracks and cause you to simply quiet your soul and LISTEN.

Friend, there is power in finding stillness in your life. It is in the quiet that God’s truth begins to over-ride the lies we have believed about who we are. We discover ourselves and our gifts and our purpose as we meditate, actively listening for God to speak to our soul. The psalmist says it well:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

He follows that with something we seldom read… “I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Are you catching that? God isn’t honored by our activity, but by our stillness. It is in the quiet that we submit to Him, allowing Him to transform us into His image and that is what will ultimately bring Him honor.

Now, let’s bring that home. How does stillness before God look in our culture where we run our families ragged (or they run us ragged)? How can we make the active decision to be less active in a culture that applauds activity? Discerning the right activities and placing limits on the amount of time we are willing to invest in extra-curricular activities is key. Learn to take a stand and not allow so much “go” that there is not time to “grow.” If there is no time to talk about how God is working in your life and in your home, then something needs to go! Period! You are the one who has been given the responsibility to make sure that your kids know God and if you don’t have time to honor Him in your home, you are failing the most important test for a parent. It isn’t about being at every practice or being in every sport or helping every elderly neighbor. Showing them God involves teaching them to meditate and ask questions and sit silently waiting and listening. It is taking time to discuss daily the attributes of God with them in an age appropriate way. I recommend starting when they are too young to understand you. Develop that habit in yourself and keep it going throughout their lives.

Finally, let me add that God is described in many ways throughout scripture, but my favorite is GOD IS LOVE. So if I find that I am not a reflection of His love; that I am easily angered; that I am jealous or prideful; that I am resentful; that I am judging; that I am not listening well… I know that I am in desperate need of more time, sitting quietly in His presence, being shaped in LOVE. It is there that He holds up the mirror and shows me the dark places where He needs to shine His light and bring about transformation. Your spirit is the true litmus test of your godliness. When you are struggling with any attitude or behavior that isn’t LOVE personified, STOP! BE STILL! And reconnect in quietness and meditation, allowing Him to shape you into His image of LOVE and show you how to slow down and grow up.

A Bedtime Prayer

08132019 Bringing it home

There is a picture from my childhood of a shepherd holding a lamb, which I later came to see as a metaphorical image of Jesus and me… or you. The lamb is small and needy and defenseless and the care giver looks down at it as if that lamb is all that matters in His entire world.

That picture became my view of Jesus; filled with compassionate strength and the safe place I needed to find myself in order to make it in life. It is for that reason that I love the picture I see and the sentiment I feel each time I read or recite Psalm 23. It tells us, not only of the gracious protection of the Good Shepherd, but also helps us see ourselves as He sees us. We are easy prey for the hungry predator and we are in need of guidance if we are to make it from this life to the next unscathed.

I can think of no better passage of scripture for you to recite to your child and plant in their mind than Psalm 23 on a level they can understand….

The Lord is my shepherd. He gives me everything I need.

…so there is no need to worry about anything because He takes care of me
²     He lets me lie down in fields of green grass.

He knows that I need rest so  I can relax, knowing that He chose this place for me
He leads me beside quiet waters.

He gives me what I need in the quietness of His presence
³     He gives me new strength.

And I can do whatever He asks of me because He has provided all I need
He guides me in the right paths   for the honor of his name.

When I follow His plan, He is overjoyed with my obedience
⁴ Even though I walk    through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid.
    You are with me.

Even in the dark and when I am lost or confused, I know that God is right beside me
Your shepherd’s rod and staff    comfort me.

I can trust God to protect me with His power and direct me with His wisdom

⁵ You prepare a feast for me    right in front of my enemies.
You pour oil on my head.

It doesn’t even matter if something is scary to me, because I know God is still there giving me more than I need and lovingly and extravagantly caring for me
    My cup runs over.

⁶ I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life.
And I will live in the house of the Lord    forever.

You give me more than enough and You always will as I live my life with You and for You.

Praying scripture over your family is a great practice. They don't need to hear God's Word spoken at church once a week nearly as much as they need to hear it spoken from your lips multiple times a day. Kids are often fearful. Life is big and there are many unknowns that rattle them. You can bring them the comfort of the Good Shepherd by praying Psalm 23 with them every night to remind them that they are a precious lamb in need of a shepherd... and so are you!

Make sure they know that being a grown-up doesn't mean we stop needing our Shepherd to guide us. Every. Single. Day.

Hurry!

When I was a kid there was a sign in Dr. Bahr’s office behind the receptionist that read, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.” It was the 60s, when all the technological breakthroughs were happening, enabling us to put more on our calendars because we could work faster and get more done in less time. In the late 1960s a study was done by the U.S. Senate because of the increased productivity created by computers. Due to these great technological advances they determined that, by 1985 people might have to choose between working 22 hours a week, 27 weeks a year, or retiring at age 38! Obviously that didn't happen. Instead, with the extra time, we simply found more to do. This desire to achieve and accomplish more created an interesting phenomenon in the human body; an illness, if you will. There is an actual medical condition called Hurry Sickness and is defined as:  “a continuous struggle to accomplish more things and participate in more events in less time, frequently in the face of opposition, real or imagined, from other people.” It’s really a thing!

In our society we seem to feel like we have to Go! Go! Go!  We are unfulfilled if we aren’t moving at all times, accomplishing something for someone and feeling guilty or lazy when we sit still. Among the “Christian community,” we have learned to rationalize busyness as a pseudo spirituality. There is a world to reach and limited time to do it OR there is a whole Bible to learn so we send our kids to every camp and VBS and religious experience within 25 miles of our home. If we embrace the athletic culture, we lean toward having our kids in multiple sports so they can find what they are best at, signing them up in more than one league or sport at a time so they get more practice and pushing them to perform on a daily basis in addition to their school work and responsibilities at home.

The phenomenon that I have observed is that the household responsibilities get pushed to the background. I suppose that’s because we are seldom home and nobody has time to come to our house so the mess is unknown to the world. Apparently we assume that our kids will magically figure out how to scramble an egg, fold their own laundry, live by a budget, put away their own belongings and maintain a vehicle when they become adults. Many kids today are not being taught to manage their life and accomplish the daily activities that will turn them into self-sufficient adults because there simply isn’t time for that. We aren’t actually in our homes long enough to do that, so rather than teaching them to pick up after themselves and use a vacuum, we work more hours in order to afford a housekeeper to carry that responsibility and instead of teaching them to prepare a proper meal, we make a less healthy choice and drive through and eat fast food.

Ancient, God inspired writers instructed their contemporaries to share their history, their heritage, their journey with God with their children. We see these instructions throughout the entire Bible. Are you allowing a restful rhythm in your life to provide quality time teaching and guiding your kids or is your life filled with go there, do this, accomplish that? Truly, the pace of your life matters and you are the one in charge of that pace. Other people/our culture/ life’s circumstances don’t have to determine the pace of our life in the manner that we are allowing it. This crazy fast pace prevents us from taking the time for the meditation needed to truly know God.

Knowing God takes time. In our culture, time is at a premium because we have become convinced that being busy equates with being godly, being good, being healthy, being compassionate, being humble and sacrificial. Yet, nowhere in God’s story do we hear this taught. There is no place in the gospels where Jesus teaches his disciples to hurry up and do more so that they can please God. On the contrary, we hear the message that we are to slow down; to draw apart; to meditate on His statues; to listen, to be still.

I have always believed that the Church’s role is not simply to transmit the truth of scripture to children, but to walk alongside parents, supporting them as they do so. I also feel compelled to shine a light on the path you are on to make you aware of the danger ahead on the road you have chosen.

After a few days at camp with children, age 6 – 12, seeing the medications they are on and hearing them talk about their anxiety disorders, I am convinced more than ever that our hurried pace has interrupted the rhythm God intended for His creation. It has actually been documented that a hurried life has been proven to increase addiction, stress, anxiety, depression.  In nature, God's intended rhythm is not defied. In the animal kingdom there is a strict adherence to it. We see it in the stars of the night sky,  the waves of the ocean, the changing seasons. It is only in humanity that we continue on the path the Eve set for us, believing that we can do life just a little bit better by our design than by God’s. 

Would you consider stepping back and looking through the windows of your family’s future as if you are being directed by the famous Dicken’s character, the Ghost of Christmas Future, and peer into the result of your busy, hectic, lifestyle to see the end game? Can you see the results of the anxiety your pace may be creating? Living in your vehicle running children here and there, sustaining them on fast food and lunchables? 

I have lived that over-achieving lifestyle, believing that “I am what I do.” I know where it leads and I wish I had time to recreate my youth. But, since I don’t, I hopefully pass on some advice to a younger generation while there is still time for you to create a heritage of learning and knowing and resting in the truth that God compels us to Be Still in order to truly know Him and to be yoked to Him in order to find rest. Allowing time to sit at His feet and learn of Him gives us “permission” to slow down and become who God intended from the beginning.