Uniting Surrender and Control

Kids live in the moment. They struggle to see beyond NOW and don’t like having to wait for the things they want. As we mature, hopefully, we learn patience and discover that there are steps we must climb if we want to get to the next level. Sometimes those steps are tedious; sometimes monotonous; sometimes difficult… but all the time important and necessary if we hope to arrive at the desired place. In all aspects of life – physical, emotional, spiritual and mental - growth occurs only as we climb to a higher level.

As parents, we see the need for this growth to develop in our children. What is appropriate for a toddler is not appropriate for a third grader so we teach… and teach …. and teach…  and on and on it goes! Often we become weary and wonder if we will ever have a moment to breathe when we don’t have to be guiding them out of one undesirable behavior into a more appropriate one. The key is to stay the course and remind yourself that training/teaching/guiding is what creates the forward momentum necessary to turn a ego-centric, immature child into a mature, responsible, others-focused adult.

The fact is, parenting is an awesome, gruesome, beautiful, impossible job that gets no vacation time, no sick leave, no monetary benefit. It is the greatest responsibility ever known to humanity; the shaping of a life, and it cannot be done well without keeping your eye on the ultimate goal. Paul tells the converts of the first century church that the way to find the plan God has for them is to become like Christ (Romans 8:29). Simple, right? Raise your kids to be like Jesus and they will find the path he has for them. Period.

While that is an oversimplification, it is absolutely primary and many things we think are important will fall away if we keep the MOST important thing, the most important thing!  Parenting is an assignment in simultaneously implementing surrender and control. Fully submitting to the authority of Christ in our lives we learn to surrender our agenda and our less than Divine desires for ourselves and our kids. At the very same moment, we must exercise strength as we take control of the behaviors of our kids. Taking control of our kids without first submitting to His control will lead the whole family on a path of futility. Conversely, shaping your child while God is shaping you will reap a harvest of peace and righteousness (Hebrews 12:11). 

If you are in a place where you feel like a broken record when it comes to raising your kids, don't lose heart. Keep your focus on the prize and your feet on the path that God has for you. Draw strength for each day from the time you spend alone with God... even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom or park the kids in front of a video for a bit. Find the strength in the quiet place of God's presence. Be energized as you use His strength, that powerfully works within you, to bring your kids to a place where He will have supremacy in their lives.

"...With all the wisdom we have, we warn and teach everyone.

When we bring them to God, we want them to be perfect as people who belong to Christ.

That's what I am working for. I work hard with all of Christ's strength. 

His strength works powerfully in me." 

Colossians 1:28-29