New Year - New You

Have you been looking back at 2015 and wondering about how 2016 will be different? Better?  It’s that time of year that we all tend to scrutinize and analyze, plot and plan. Here are a few suggestions that I have stolen from some really wise people who place great value on raising their kids to honor God. Here is what they have suggested…

Always look at the heart of your child, not just the behavior. Behavior comes from an internal issue. Listen to them and find out why they are behaving as they are and correct the behavior from the heart level.

Speak to others with respect and don’t yell. When we raise our voice we are demonstrating that we are not in control. That is NOT what we want them to believe is acceptable behavior.

Correct undesired behavior with examples of what could or should have been said or done. As they get older, ask them. “How could you have handled that better?”

Never speak unkindly or disrespectfully about others in the presence of your children. It will teach them that it is okay to be judgmental and critical of others.

Make sure that your day includes more face time than it does screen time. Social media can wait until the kids are sleeping.

If you are married, treat your spouse the way you want your child’s spouse to someday treat them. You are setting their “normal” so if you are rude to your spouse, they will likely date people who are rude to them and think nothing of it.

Plan ahead for healthy meals so that you aren’t pumping your kids full of processed food that will have a huge impact on behavior and health. Portion out your fruit and veggies in snack size bags so you can easily grab and go! Check out the website plantoeat.com for a tool that can make your life easier and healthier.

Develop routines for cleaning and organizing to minimize frustration that comes when things start to pile up. By pre-school age have your kids involved in small duties and expand them as they grow. Keep it simple: Monday, collect and empty waste baskets. Tuesday, fold towels. Etc.

Read to your children and instill the love of books in them. It will make school easier if they love to read.

Make worship a priority in your home. If something is keeping you from weekly church attendance, make sure that it isn’t keeping you from worshiping God together.

Read a book or two this year that will make you a better person. Some of my favorite authors are Francis Chan, Kyle Idleman, Max Lucado and Beth Moore… if you needed a suggestion.

Laugh out loud. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Listen to Christian radio and keep a children’s cd of Sunday School Songs in your vehicle so the kids are learning truths from the Bible in the songs they sing.

Love your parents. Your kids will likely treat you as well as you treat your parents some day. Let them see that you value them and honor them, even if you don’t always enjoy or agree with them.

Remind your children to honor others above themselves, treat others as they wish to be treated, show respect to all people and be kind. This is not superfluous, but the behavior that honors God and creates peace in our homes. Expect it and settle for nothing less.

Apply Romans 12:2 to every waking moment and let God transform you by changing the way your think. The way you think determines how you feel and the way you feel will dictate your words and actions. Give your thoughts to God and let him have control of reshaping them. It will improve all your relationships.

At Just The RIGHT Time???

We have all heard it said, “timing is everything.” We like to align our circumstances, get our duckies are in a row and plan out the happily ever after ending. Wait until he is in a good mood before you tell him you wrecked his car. Wait until she is in a better mood before you tell her that dress is NOT flattering. Wait until the price drops to this number before you make that purchase. Wait until you have this much in the bank before you start a family. Then, at just the right time… the perfect time… things work out just as you planned.

In the story of Jesus (God, in human form coming to earth to live among us filthy, undeserving people) we hear the term, “at just the right time.” The timing must have been perfect because it was God that orchestrated the entire event. He got to choose the “who”, the “when” and the “where” throughout all of history for Jesus to make his appearance. So let’s take a look at this perfect timing of the God of the universe.

THE WHO:  First, he needed a host for the infant to make his appearance. Mary! Perfect! … wait… Mary was a single Jewish girl. This can’t be the right person to choose for the job! Jewish females were pretty much worthless in society, except for their ability to bear children. But… she was unmarried… no husband… no notoriety, no prestige. She can’t possibly be the mother of the King of the Jews! She was engaged to Joseph, however, so if she could convince him to stick around after she told him this ridiculous story about the baby within her being the child of the Holy Spirit, at least they could be a family. But what are the chances that this fine Jewish carpenter is going to believe that? He didn’t buy it and he was walking away from this scandal… at least until the Angel of the Lord appeared and changed his mind!

So this carpenter is going to be the dad to a baby that isn’t his. People will talk. People will point fingers at them. If only the timing had been different and they were already married they would have escaped all the gossip. “Why me?” Joseph must have wondered. And rightly so. Looking at his family tree you don’t find royalty for centuries past. He isn’t a priest, doesn’t live in Jerusalem, and he is a commoner who works with his hands and certainly doesn’t have the means to properly raise a King. What in the world is God thinking right now. This makes no sense!

It doesn’t get better… God literally throws this young woman into the home of this carpenter so that they can become a family. If you are married you already know that becoming “one” with that special person isn’t really all romance and bliss. There are adjustments to be made and lessons to learn. Taking into account the fact that she is a teenager, lacking maturity; is now obviously pregnant before the marriage causing stares and slanderous gossip; within her there is a battle ensuing of brand new, inexplicable and uncontrollable hormonal shifts; and the intimacy they may both be craving must be postponed until after the birth of this mystery she is carrying.

THE WHEN: The crisis continues when the decree is announced that, in her last trimester when she is feeling as big as a house and doesn’t know whether to be excited or ashamed or scared to death, she has to travel to the town of their origin to be a part of the first census. Great timing! Never before has there been a census and Caesar chooses NOW? I can hear her now, “Are you kidding me? We have to take a road trip?” We aren’t talking about just across town to visit your parents. We are talking 80 miles! How long would it take you to walk 80 miles when you are ready to be done with the heartburn, practice contractions (or are they practice contractions? Remember, this is her first child and all that she is feeling is subject to question), and… how do I say this politely???  Let’s just say there were probably a whole lot of stops along the way and no proper facilities!

THE WHERE:  Finally, the timing seems to be improving, for just as the contractions seem to be bearing down on her, the lights of Bethlehem appear. At least they will be able to find a suitable place to have this baby and he won’t be delivered on the open road!  They reach the town and, much to their dismay, every extra bed in town is already filled with others who have come to be counted in the census. If only they had been able to travel faster, they may have had a place to stay. If only there were no baby… less stops along the way… better timing could have made all the  difference!

I wonder how many times Joseph was offered a stable and how many times Mary said, “I am NOT having this baby in a barn! Keep looking!” The fear and anxiety of delivering a little baby is incomparable to any other experience on earth. “I want this baby out of me! No, wait! It hurts too bad! Make it stop! Please God, make him come! No, I am not ready to do this!” Back and forth the mind swings until the moment comes when there is no stopping the inevitable and perhaps Mary’s shrieks could be heard throughout the village. “I don’t care if it’s the worst barn in this town! I have to lie down… NOW!

We have heard the Christmas story many times and found it to be quaint and comforting, but when you really look at the story of Jesus coming on that first Christmas night, there is not a single thing for those involved that appears to be good timing in our human way of thinking.

Maybe, as you look at the things for which you are waiting in your own life, it seems that God’s timing is not lining up with yours.

“…but at just the right time, GOD…”  His timing is the RIGHT timing. We seldom see it. Life often looks like it is never going to align with what we want, the way we planned, the way it “should” be. The story of our Messiah; our Savior; our Redeemer coming to earth to reconcile us to our Creator proves that, what looks like disaster from the human perspective, is truly “just the right time” in God’s plan.

This Christmas, may your heart be renewed and your hope be restored as you take a glimpse into the greatest event of all time, orchestrated by the Master Designer,  and see that, in spite of our human understanding, God really does work things out “at just the right time.”

I am praying that, whoever you are, wherever you are, you will find a Merry Hope-filled Christmas!

Hope Misplaced

12082015 Bringing it home

Sunday the Pastor wrapped up his sermon on “The Thrill of Hope” with the question, “What is it that you stress about? What do you fear? Perhaps that is where your hope is, rather than in the miracle of Jesus.”  Emmanuel is God with us; the infant King who came from heaven to earth to be our Redeemer, our Restorer, our Hope. Yet it seems so easy to fall into the trap of putting all our faith in our own ability to provide for ourselves; to control our environment; to align our life just the way we planned.

Another wonderful conversation with my dad this week led me down the same path that the Pastor sent us on Sunday. He talked about the hope we have in Jesus, “When we truly deserved another flood, God gave us a baby. Over and over again we fail to live up to who He created us to be. We don’t walk in step with Him; we seek our will over His; we don’t listen; don’t obey. Yet, in spite of our wickedness, He didn’t destroy the world, but gave us the gift of a baby King that was born in a barn to unlikely parents of royalty. A baby that would forever bring hope to the world.

Babies are God’s way of saying there is HOPE. There is reason to believe that we can get this right. They bring us new beginnings. Babies bring joy. We have had a large crop of babies born in our church family in the past few months and more are coming in 2016. What a blessing it is to hold them and love them and teach them they are loved by the One who created them. What an honor it is to introduce them to Emmanuel, God with us. What a privilege to teach them that there is HOPE.

I encourage you to take a look at where you are placing your hope. Your job? Your paycheck? Your skills? Your health? Your talent?  Your family? Here is the thing you need to know… your kids can see it and are learning where to place their hope by watching you. Take a step in the right direction and shift your Hope to the One who cannot fail and have a Merry, Hope-filled, Christmas!

Hang on to Hope

One of my favorite Christmas stories is “The Little Spider,” by Sigmund Brouwer. It tells the story of the vast array of animals in the stable after Jesus birth when the Angel warned Joseph in a dream to leave before the soldiers, under orders from King Herod, came to kill the baby.  Each of the animals is full of hope that they can ensure their safety by traveling with Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus.  Off they go in the dark of night as traveling companions to the family, convinced that they will never leave their side…certain they will be the hero that will rescue the Christ Child.

As the story continues, the mouse loses hope and becomes discouraged because he is certainly too small to be of assistance. The cat soon drops out of the picture as he is enticed by all that he sees outside of the stable he called home. Dog saw the size of Herod’s army marching toward them and lost hope because he was so outnumbered that victory against all those soldiers seemed unlikely, if not impossible.

Mary and Joseph found a cave to hide in so they could rest for a while. The little spider was the only traveling companion left with them. When she saw them shivering against the cold night air seeping into the cave that was already damp and chilled all she could offer was to begin to spin a web over the opening to the cave so that the family would be protected from the cool wind that howled.

As morning broke and Joseph awoke he could hear the sound of soldiers approaching the entrance of the cave. Quietly they huddled in the darkness, praying for God’s protection. The soldiers were just about to enter the cave when one of the men noticed the web that Spider had spent the entire night creating. “There is no one inside. Anyone entering would have torn that spider’s web,” he observed. And the soldiers passed on, leaving Joseph, Mary and Jesus in peace.

The least likely of all the travelers was the one to do the most good because she didn’t lose hope. This Christmas, I pray that you will keep doing good… even if you don’t understand why or what good it is accomplishing. Do what you can with great hope that God will bless your efforts. Whether it is loving the unlovely, going the second mile, enduring ridicule, battling illness or the fog that has held you captive… keep on spinning that blanket of tender compassion and you never know what good will come of it.

Don’t lose hope. With God, all things are possible. Let his love flow through you this Christmas season as you hang on to hope.

There Is More To This Life...

Kids  have trouble seeing the big picture. They sometimes have trouble seeing beyond this moment in time. That is because they are kids and that is how the mind works before maturity teaches us to look down the road or outside of our own little world. I imagine it would be pretty overwhelming to see all that there is to see to a little mind that is still in awe of what currently surrounds them.

As we grow in our faith and travel closer to God we begin to realize that there is more to this life than this life, however, we still need to be reminded. Our lives get full and busy and exhausting and just trying to make it to the end of the day is all we can manage to focus on. But when our focus is on today we lose sight of what really matters. The life we are living here and now is for nothing more than to honor God and bring the eyes of those around us to His greatness. There really is more to this life than this life.

How does this reality play out at home? How are we preparing our children to live with eternity in their sights? Well, the simple answer is, if we are simply focused on making it through the day or the week or the month; getting all the tasks checked off our list; keeping food on the table; making it to all the lessons, meets and meetings; making our bonus at work; paying all the bills; packing lunches and checking homework… then we are not teaching them anything about keeping eternity in their sights.  We are teaching them to exist and be busy and to cover the basics of human life on this planet and forfeiting the most important lesson of all: living in preparation to meet Jesus.

This time of year we reflect on the coming Messiah; Savior of the world. As you walk your children through the story of that first Christmas, be reminded of the reason for His coming; to reconcile all of us to our Creator. That is the reason for Christmas. That is the reason He created us. If walking with Him has lost significance in your life then you are likely living as though you believe there is no more to life than this life. Children will learn to live as they see you live.

As you prepare for the season of Advent, remember to show the children that there IS more to this life than this life and that every day we can live like we are preparing to welcome a living God into our homes. We can give with more joy. We can live with less stress. We can speak with more kindness. We can look with less judgment. We can see with more compassion. Then we will begin to demonstrate for our children what it looks like to live like there is more to this life than this life.

Blessed

As I look back to the beginning of 2015, I seem to recall that I felt very poor. We were either recovering from huge repair bills or racking up new ones! New well, new septic, new stovetop, new water softener, new drainage ditch, furnace threatening to quit on a regular basis; dryer chewing our clothes to bits, roof leaking, windows leaking… We were wondering what would break next and how in the world we would pay for it! We were seriously thinking we couldn’t afford to stay in our home and needed to earnestly consider selling.

Now, my husband has always been a great handyman. There is not much that baffles him when it comes to fixing things so I have seldom had to pay someone else to make repairs around the house, but these problems were bigger than he could tackle…especially since he was always tired. Midway through the year, we found out why. A heart cath revealed that he had 100% blockage in two of the 3 major arteries and an 80% and a 90% in others. This discovery led to a 6 bypass operation, from which he recovered marvelously… until the week he went back to work when he spiked a fever and ended up in the hospital with an acute infection in his leg where veins had been harvested for the bypass surgery. This required 3 additional surgeries and 10 more days in the hospital.

Considering how the year started and my frame of mind facing all those bills for home repairs, you would likely surmise that I was seriously depressed over the medical bills that were piling up. Strangely, through those days in the hospital and throughout the recovery process, the feelings of gloom and doom I had felt during the winter months were replaced with praise. God had spared Dana’s life. He had given me the greatest gift I could imagine, considering the likelihood of losing my husband to a massive heart attack if they hadn’t performed the surgeries. Through the medical journey to likely over $1 million in services (before insurance), I have been feeling blessed. The only way I can explain that to you is that I found out that I am surrounded by wonderful people who care deeply about others and want to stand in the gap, lift others up in prayer and lend a helping hand. In the last couple of months, as friends and family came to our aid, we received cards, prayers, money, meals and assistance beyond what we felt worthy to accept.

A truly amazing experience was when Mill Creek Church sent over 30 strong bodies to put a roof on our house. Every time I went outside to check the progress, my eyes filled with tears watching these wonderful people give time and energy to do a really tough job on a cold and windy October weekend. I love to be on the giving end, so this was a totally humbling experience for me. I deserved none of this and all was given to me with loving hearts and smiling faces. It was overwhelming!

I am RICH!  And God is faithful! And His people are amazing! If I have learned anything in 2015 it is the importance of being available for God to use me to bless others and, no matter how painful it is, I will be humble and receive blessings from others when I am in need.

Be careful not to load up your calendar, deplete your bank account, spend all your energy on things that will not bring blessings to those in need. Show them the love of Jesus by living RICH!

It Really Is Better To Give

How many times have you heard a child ask, after tearing through a small mountain of gifts, “Is that all?” No matter how many they get, they seem to always be looking for more. Why? Well, if I asked you how much money you want to make next year I seriously doubt that you would give me a total that would be less or the same as the amount you made this year. We seem to be doing a fairly good job of modeling wanting more for our kids. Sad, but true.

Last week I picked up a little snowman holding a chalk board that said “_____ days ‘til Christmas” for my granddaughter. The countdown is on for all the magic of Christmas in the eyes of an 8 year-old. As I saw the excitement in her eyes, I kept thinking how nice it would be if they made the chalk board read, “__ days ‘til Jesus birthday.” Maybe then our focus could be on the gifts we could bring to Him rather than the list our children prepare for Santa.

What if our advent calendar didn’t supply a piece of candy every day, but a thoughtful gesture or helpful deed they could do in preparation for the coming of the Christ Child?

What if our family searched for people who were in need and delivered a sack of groceries to their door on the way home from the store?

What if our children were trained to notice the child on the playground with no gloves or a coat that no longer zips and brought home that information so you could anonymously purchase one for them?

What if we replaced a storm door for the neighbor whose door dangled from a broken hinge, or raked the yard, or shoveled the walk?

What if we had a regular night every month that was designated as an M25 day (Matthew 25:40) when we would, as a family or a group of families, be on mission to help “the least of these?”

Here’s the bottom line: A child who learns to want things for themselves will never have enough, but a child who learns to see the needs of others and reach out in love, will find contentment. This year, focus on the needs of the world. You learn the joy of being rich when you give to those in need.

By the way… it’s only 43 days til Jesus Birthday. 

Be Rich!

Don’t you just love being rich? Every day you get to put shoes on your kids feet as you send them off to school to get an education that many children around the world cannot afford. Every day you eat food that you didn’t have to dig out of a dumpster. Every day you get to drink as much clean water as you want. Every day you get into a vehicle to travel from point A to point B. Every day you can wear a different outfit… for how many days running????

We are truly rich, monetarily speaking, compared to most of the world. If your combined family income is $44,000 a year you are in the top 1% in the world. That may not feel rich to you, but compared to most of the world, you are living in the lap of luxury! Growing accustomed to having what we need at all times and what we want most of the time is causing an epidemic of entitlement with our children and grandchildren.

How do we live in America, provide for our families and NOT raise children that expect everything to be handed to them? Maybe it begins with letting them see the rest of the world. Don’t shelter them from the needs of others. Allow them to make the choice to give to others. Choose a charity and support it as a family. Be willing to make sacrifices, even if it is sticking a frozen pizza into the oven rather than having one delivered….wearing knockoffs instead of Nike...or getting water at a restaurant rather than soft drinks…or settling for only a few new outfits when school starts…or having less gifts under the tree. Make the kids aware of the savings THEN TAKE THAT SAVINGS AND INVEST IT IN THE LIFE OF SOMEONE IN NEED!

Let these examples get your wheels of generosity turning... 

I know a little girl who, on her 11^th birthday, asked for anyone who intended to buy her a gift, to just give her the cash they would have spent so that she could give it to an orphanage in Guatemala. She is learning to live with a world view rather than looking at herself as the center of the stage.

I heard a father say that he is considering forgoing the traditional family vacation and rather take his kids to a third world country to open their hearts to the needs of the world.

I know of a father that gives all his children a mission trip with him as a graduation gift. What a great way to prepare them for all they will experience in college in the coming years.

I know of a family who gives small Christmas gifts so that they can give a needy village a goat or a chicken or a cow or…. in honor of the one they would normally give a nicer gift.

Take an honest look at your Christmas gift list. How many people on that list NEED something from you? Probably very few. Why? Because we are RICH! We just haven’t learned to admit it. As we approach the holiday season, remember to Be Rich! Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk. Learn to live generously and be intentional as you teach your kids to live unselfishly. 

"Teach those who are rich in this world (um... that's us) 

not to be proud and not to trust in their money, 

which is so unreliable. 

Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. 

Tell them to use their money to do good. 

They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need,

 always being ready to share with others.

1 Timothy 6:17-18 nlt

Stay the Course!

I think one of the universal flaws of human nature is the inability to stick to a commitment. It doesn’t seem to matter if you are a God follower or not. We just lack the drive to see things through to the end. Our intentions are good, but our resolve… not so much.  The doctor recently put me on a special diet for better digestive health. I looked at it and thought, “this will be a breeze since I rarely eat the things that are forbidden.” Well, a week and a half into it and I want all those things that I can’t have. Apples, broccoli, bread (believe it or not, I am NOT a bread person and now I want toast all day long!).

It isn’t just diets we struggle to stick with. How many times have we vowed to exercise, read the Bible, be consistent with our kids, get better rest, establish a healthier routine, drink more water and less (fill in the blank) and then drop the ball? Even the things that come easy often fall by the wayside. Is it because Satan doesn’t want us to succeed so he plants temptation on our path? Do we sabotage ourselves?

If you are raising kids you have likely read or heard a gazillion times that you have to stay the course and you can’t give up just because it is difficult. Kids are kind of high maintenance. They have to be fed regularly, dressed appropriately, trained properly, disciplined effectively and taught correctly. Any one of those things can overwhelm us on a given day… especially if you are one of those free-spirited people for whom routines feel like torture.

This whole subject takes me back to New Testament days when the Pharisees were all bogged down with following all the dos and don’ts and lost site of the reason why they had been given any commandments in the first place. Jesus boiled their rule following issues down to 2 things…

Make God your #1 priority

Love others… honoring them above yourself

Jesus said if you do these two things, everything else will fall into place. Pretty sure the same thing is true in parenting. When we make God our #1 priority and really focus on following Him, the things that aren’t so important fall away. We don’t get wrapped up in the things that are merely things, but keep our feet on the path that brings us closer to Him. Maybe, just maybe, the exhaustion from our hectic schedules would subside and we would better know how to order our days if Jesus was writing our agenda.

And all those tedious tasks that we do as parents? What if we knew that Jesus was standing there beside us cheering us on? He is, you know. He knows how hard it is to make sacrifices… since He IS our sacrifice. Practice loving and praying for your kids as you help with homework, clean under beds, brush hair, do laundry…  Remember that you are doing what the Lord asks, loving without reservation (and without reciprocation on many occasions). That is just what love looks like when you are a parent.

Keep up the good work! Follow and love Jesus with all your heart and you will learn to show the love that your kids need to learn as a pattern for their lives. 

A Dangerous Trap

Did you ever try to purge toys from your children’s room while they were present? Typically, the things they never play with suddenly become something they couldn’t possibly live without. That’s why we do it when they are not home. We aren’t much different, though. We really don’t like to give things up. We hang on to clothes we don’t wear and tools we don’t use. The doctor tells us to give up certain foods and suddenly we are craving them like never before. There is just something about being told we must surrender that makes us want to hang on.

When Jesus told the disciples of his imminent crucifixion He was ready to surrender. Then one of the disciples rushes in and tells Jesus that’s a bad plan. Jesus response? He realized that he had to stop that nonsense of man’s plan verses God’s plan and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” (Matthew 16:23-25).

It seems ridiculous to think that a decent parent would choose for their child to follow the way of Satan over the way of Jesus, BUT as you look at what Jesus is saying, he isn’t talking about some heinous, vulgar, disgusting demonic way of life that is the way of Satan. He is saying that Satan’s trap is purely the “human point of view.” We must realize that our own thinking is often self-centered, self-righteous and self-absorbed so that we can say as Jesus said, “get behind me Satan” and move toward the selfless, God-centered life. If we are not willing to take that step, we are basically – albeit unintentionally, inviting our children to the path Satan wants us all to follow… seeking what we want without consideration of what God wants.

These are tough words to write. Tough words to read. Tough words to live by. But since when is taking up the cross of Christ, symbolizing failure to the world, easy? Just remember; what the world sees as failure, heaven sees as victory. By whom will you be defined?

I pray that you will choose to surround yourself with godly friends that will call you out when you are living life with a “human point of view” and direct you back to the surrender that leads to a godly way of thinking and living. Your friends who are not serving the Lord Jesus may help you make good choices, but they will never be able to point you to taking up the cross Jesus speaks of if they haven’t done the same. Choose your friends wisely. Your children’s faith may very well depend on it.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."   Jim Elliot

Balancing Biblical Teaching at Home

Recently I have begun exploring new curriculum to see it there is something out there that does a better job of helping teach our children the truth of scripture more appropriately, effectively applying it to life. Why? Because what your children are learning in the formative years will be the memories they carry into adulthood; the foundation upon which they will build their beliefs and values. But, teaching the Truth found in the Bible is not something to save for those who teach your children on Sunday. There is so much that you can teach them as you are reading the Bible and learning new insights yourself.

One challenging part of scripture they must learn as they grow is that following Jesus is not a ticket to jolly good times here. In Matthew 10 Jesus warned His followers that there would be struggles, trials, persecution, separation from friends and family, flogging, imprisonment and even death. Teaching that alone wouldn’t convince anyone to follow Jesus, but what a beautiful way to deal with the betrayals that lead to broken hearts or the injustice they begin to realize as they grow. That isn't the end of the story because He goes on to say, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul…” (v 28) Jesus knows our pain and promises that all those wrongs are seen by God (v 26). That is what truly matters because He is the Judge. Here is another challenge for parents who want to charge in and right all the injustice or demolish all the fears our kids experience. We must work to find balance in giving comfort when they have been wronged or face fears and teaching them that Jesus is our Comfort and it is to Him we must learn to run in times of stress. Most adults haven’t even learned that lesson well!

Another thing we learn in this passage is; Children must be aware of the enemy of their soul. I have witnessed many children discussing the failures of teens and adults and saying, with resolve, “I am never going to do that!” Then I watch them grow into young adults who are making the same choices and walking the same path they vowed never to tread. When Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul,” he followed it with, “Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (vs 28). Another balancing act in parenting is not over-spiritualizing normal childish behavior, all the while making them aware that there is an enemy of their soul who will stop at nothing to get them off the right path. Kids do a lot of things wrong because they don’t always know the right direction to go. They legitimately forget because their minds are very busy learning and developing. You need to deal with blatant defiance because it leads to an ongoing pattern of disrespect for authority; however, not every infraction is punishable. Many of their errors, even if they have happened more than once, need to be teachable moments. You have the opportunity to teach them why it is wrong and instruct them in the way they should have behaved and the consequences of both actions. Then you have to determine how many times you teach before you have to react with negative consequences.

Parenting is the most challenging and the most important job you will ever do. Don’t try this alone. There is One who walks beside you. Listen and Obey. Stay focused on His Word so that you can direct the children as He directs you. 

What's Holding You Back?

As a young teenager I remember the fear I felt in following Jesus. I had read in Luke 9 about the things that you have to do to be a committed follower and I didn’t think I was made of the right stuff to make it work. Here is what Jesus said to those He compelled to follow Him, what I heard and what I truly needed to hear:

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus…	v. 58 “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”	I will likely be homeless, living in a straw hut being preyed upon by cannibals

What He was likely, truly saying was… Are you serious about following me? Because it could very well mean giving up your comfortable life so that you can be a blessing to those in need. It means being willing to step out in faith, before you have an iron-clad plan in place, complete with a fail-safe itinerary.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I want to follow Jesus, but first there are things that have to be in place…I need to go back and bury my father when he dies.	v. 60 “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”	You have to stop caring about the family that loves you, get out of your comfort zone completely and do the most difficult thing you can imagine… public speaking to a hostile crowd about something I don’t even fully understand myself!

Since He always seemed to know what people were feeling or scheming, maybe what he really meant was… Your security is not in your inheritance from your earthly father. Waiting until you have a cushion to fall back on means that your commitment is based on what you think you can do on your own, without the need to depend fully on Him. So, “If Jesus isn’t the real deal, at least I have other options.” Or maybe it means you are focused on what you can gain rather than what you think you can give. That isn’t commitment; that is merely adventure seeking. The inheritance we receive from our Heavenly Father is truly all that matters. It’s just hard to focus on something that we don’t fully understand rather than what our culture has taught us to understand; that our security lies in our own well-ordered plan for our future.

The would-be follower	What Jesus said	My interpretation
I will follow just as soon as I go back and say goodbye to my family (and maybe they will bring me to my senses and remind me that my commitment is first to them!) parenthetical thoughts are purely mine.	v. 62 “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”	I am worthless if I don’t have a huge amount of faith so that I never question anything, but push aside my loved ones and follow God into the unknown

Jesus always wants us to look at the BIG picture. What we do here in our own homes, with our own families, is essentially worthless in light of eternity if we keep putting them first, catering to their wishes, their schedules, their agenda, all the while we are pushing God to the background. Our priorities are not according to His plan if we keep waiting until we are finished raising our family, establishing a career and preparing for our retirement before we commit to following Him wholeheartedly. Every time we look back at what the world is doing, rather than looking forward to what God calls us to do, we become ineffective and wander off course. We will never get to the plan that He hand-crafted for each of us if we don’t keep our eyes on Him and His path.

I am not so far removed from raising a family that I don’t recall the busy schedules and the tight budgets and the enormous to-do list that goes with it. I get it…. Really! But being on the far side of raising my family, it is so much easier to see how often I forfeited what really mattered in the light of eternity for my list, my calendar, my well calculated plan. And I wish there could be “Do-overs.” Just like you, I am a work in process. But if I could make one of those commercials we see all the time lately, mine would say… “Don’t be the busy me whose focus is this life, this planet, this day. Be the new me, seeing the big picture of eternity and truly follow Jesus so your kids will learn to follow Him, not a schedule.”