Settle or Sizzle

When I first started dating my husband, I still lived at home and shared a room with my little sister. She claims that I talked about him non-stop, late into the night, keeping her awake. I’m not sure that is completely accurate, but I do remember that I thought about him all the time. I pictured him in my mind. I recounted the words he had said and longed for the weekend to come so that I could hear his voice again and feel his hand in the small of my back as he ushered me in the door of the bowling alley, our typical winter date. I knew the sound of the engine of his Coronet 440 and my heart would quicken as I heard him pull up in front of the house on Friday nights. Ah… the joy of young love.

After three years of falling deeper in love with him, we got married and within three years of entering marital bliss, we had two babies, a mortgage and a whole lot more responsibility and a whole lot less heart quickening. Life changed quickly and so did all those euphoric feelings. The love was there, but the routine and the fatigue changed our ability to freely express it. We didn’t “fall” into love and we didn’t “fall” out of love. We just “fell.”

Jesus revealed a message to John while he was exiled on the island of Patmos about such falling… but it wasn’t talking about romantic love. Jesus was talking about how the church was doing so much right, but it was still coming up short, because it had lost the glow of first love. In the same way that longing to be with your true love is replaced with a busy calendar and flat out exhaustion, the longing to have quiet communion with Jesus is replaced with carpools and diapers and gainful employment.

We talk frequently about how God’s grace is great and covers our imperfections, but is that all that matters?  If Jesus is saying to us, come back to your first love, that indicates that He wants more from us. He wants us to live in His presence, enjoying his company. He wants us to bring our praise and our cares to Him, communicating with the same excitement that we had in the beginning. He wants us to listen, hanging on every word, because what He thinks and how He feels truly matters to us. He wants us to snuggle up and enjoy just being with Him. Much the same as it was when we first committed to life with Him.

So, what happens in marriage when we become content with a lackluster life? When living happily ever after is replaced with simply existing. The relationship begins to crumble and the joy certainly fades. We stop communicating and don’t even feel like we are known by our mate. The very same is true in our relationship with Jesus. If we are not deliberate about stoking the fires of love in our relationship with our partner and our Lord, the flame will die. How can we make sure that doesn’t happen? Be intentional in our relationships.

Sunday the Pastor said, “We don’t misplace Jesus. We replace Jesus.” And I believe he is spot on.  (You can listen here: https://thecreekonline.net/media) Jesus is still there. We still love Him, value His teaching, speak of His authority in our lives. The problem is that we also love football and Facebook and we value our career and a good 20% off sale and the ones who coach our child’s sport seem to have complete authority over our calendars. We haven’t misplaced Jesus because He is still here waiting for us to come back around to the place of honoring Him. We have simply replaced Him with all of the things that seemed like a good idea at the time, but have left us completely spent. Tired, troubled and over-extended.

What is the solution? Remember back to the commitment you once had and the promise you made to make God #1 in your life. Repent for bumping Him and possibly even kicking Him to the curb as you go about life in the manner that society dictates and Satan applauds. And lastly, begin to do life in a manner that allows you the time and the space to get God back to the position that you have taken from Him.

And while you’re at it… revisit that first love with your spouse and start rekindling that flame. Don’t settle when you can sizzle!

I hold this against you:

You have forsaken the love you had at first.

 ⁵ Consider how far you have fallen!

Repent and do the things you did at first.

Revelation 2:4-5