Are You A Bear?

I recently saw an episode of Planet Earth that filmed a family of bears coming out of hibernation in the spring. Even before they foraged for food they found their favorite tree to assist them in rubbing off their winter coat. The film maker added the choreography to the rhythm of the rub and it was hilarious to observe. We laughed so hard watching them stand up with their back to the tree and rub up and down and side to side, seemingly scratching an itch that could not be satisfied. Though it was amusing to watch, it is not so comical when you are the bear with a winter-long-itch that needs to be scratched and cannot find the needed relief.

We have probably all been in a place where we experience a longing for something that is just out of our reach. We see an advertisement for something that will make our lashes fuller or our home cleaner or our stomach flatter or our teeth whiter and we “need” it! We see the new sweater and leggings that look adorable on our friend and we instantly know that we “need” to update our wardrobe. The neighbor comes home in a new vehicle and we “need” to update to a newer model. Our “needs,” of course, are not really needs but a longing for a little bit more. A symptom of discontent.

So, if we as intelligent adults suffer from this malady, how in the world do we expect our kids to learn to be content with what they have? I believe that they have inherited our discontent which has led to a nationwide epidemic of entitlement. And we didn’t start it, nor did our parents or grandparents. It began in prehistory. It began in Eden. Even though all her needs were met in a garden paradise, Eve determined that there had to be more and went after it. Humans have been following her lead ever since.

In his letter to the church at Philippi, Paul reports that he has found the secret to contentment, which is the polar opposite of entitlement. Paul found an inner strength, which was supplied by his relationship with an All-seeing, All-knowing, All-powerful God. In his innermost being, Paul found contentment because he had seen the love and grace of his Creator-Savior-Friend and he refused to let that be taken from him. Even in a jail cell where he was stripped of every shred of dignity, they could not take from him what lived on the inside.

The bottom line:If you want to wipe out entitlement in your children, don't be the bear. Don't go from tree to tree trying to scratch an itch that just won't stop. Instead, demonstrate contentment in your own life by building a stronger relationship with the One who brings peace to your heart and mind. Lead by example. Direct them to the kind of thoughts that will help them better focus on what they have, rather than what they don’t have. Resist the desire to provide more for them than you had as a child. We all survived with less and they will, too. Do things together that do not require “Things.” Tell stories, giggle, work together. Go for walks, crunch the leaves, sing silly songs. Find someone to help and do it as a family. But most of all, invite the presence of God into your home. Take Him on the journey that is your life. Place your trust in Him so that it is impossible to miss the peace that comes from that trust.

“How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again.

I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me.

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything.

I have learned the secret of living in every situation,

whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:10-13