Just Be Kind

In a world where you can be anything, be kind. I don’t know who originated that sentence, but I see it on shirts and signs and social media. It is a wonderful thing to decide to be kind and then follow through with it. That is the essence of being a good neighbor and Jesus said that we are to be a good neighbor; to love our neighbor as ourselves. You can’t do that if you don’t know how to be kind.

As parents, it is our job to teach our kids to be kind. If we want to live in a better world, we have to determine that being a good neighbor starts with ME! But, how do we teach our kids to be a good neighbor; to value others and be considerate of their feelings? The obvious answer is to model it for them. Or is it all that obvious? There is this entitlement plague that has perhaps infected every household across this planet. The manner in which we interact with others is contingent upon the way we feel. If that isn’t entitlement, I don’t know what is.

·         I have a headache so I am entitled to snap at you if you cross my path.  

·         Someone treated me badly so I can treat everyone at home like their feelings don’t matter

·         We are busy with adult things that are “important” so we don’t have to listen to the childish needs of our children

·         I had a bad day at work so just leave me alone

·         I am too tired to listen to your problems. You don’t listen to mine

·         We don’t have to put down our phones and make eye contact because we are multi-tasking

·         I don’t have to go above and beyond because he doesn’t

·         We don’t have to be considerate because, if we do, they will expect it always

·         I am tired so your needs can wait

·         He cut me off in traffic so I have the right to be a raving lunatic

When I was at a restaurant with my Dad last week a family with 3 young children came in and there was conversation continually at their table. Phones came out only long enough to be silenced. The children and the parents laughed and talked and were so completely light hearted that I couldn’t help but keep looking in their direction. It was delightful… and then it was sad. Sad because the reason we both noticed it was that it is a rare thing to witness.

We were created for connection and somehow we have begun to ignore that truth. In the 21^st century, we live as if we believe we were created to be busy and to multi-task… as if there is a prize for skipping over the relationships that need to be fostered and strengthened, so that you can accomplish something you believe is of greater importance. As long as we continue to live as if relationships will always be there, we will continue watch them crumble. As long as we believe we are to put ourselves first we will continue to spread the entitlement that is making us ugly. As long as we continue to ignore the emotional connection that every person needs and focus inwardly, people will walk away from us feeling as if they are of no consequence.

Here are 4 tools to put in your “How To Be A Good Neighbor” tool belt. Practice them at home, just to be certain they work, before you use them in public.

·         Keep your focus on the person with whom you are interacting

·         Improve your connectivity with others

·         Notice the admirable in others and graciously let them know that they are a blessing

·         Don’t allow your children (or yourself) to be unkind and/or ambivalent to others

Being a good neighbor begins by valuing others. Teach that to your kids by valuing them and accepting no less from them. Never walk away from unkindness, as if it is just a kid being a kid. It’s your job to teach the kids to be kind by showing them what it looks like. It’s also your job to show them what kindness isn’t and simply not tolerate the unkindness that they exhibit. Of course, that could well mean that they will call you out for your unkind words or actions. If that happens, a humble apology goes a long way in teaching them that you intend to be the good neighbor Jesus calls us all to be.