Relationships That Outlast Us

Lately, there have been many conversations in our home about what the future looks like for us, financially and vocationally. It’s the time in life when you begin to realize that your investments matter. . . a lot. Unless you think you will be able to be gainfully employed until you die, it is really critical how you invest in your retirement, financially speaking. There are other ways to invest, however, that are even more important. The investment we have made in our relationship as husband and wife is also preparing us for a strong and healthy future together and that cannot be taken from us, no matter the financial or health implications.

Take a minute and think about the relationships in which you are currently investing. How are these relationships growing you as a person? How are they growing the people with whom you spend time? What is the return on your investment? Are you investing yourself in a legacy that will outlive your days on this earth? What are you pouring into your future with your spouse? How about your children? When they are grown and you are gone, what will they say is the legacy you left behind?

Here is another topic of conversation in the Brady home, of late. Maybe you have noticed that super bright star in the western sky in the evenings this month. It isn’t actually a star, but a planet. Venus is somewhere around 25 million miles away from us, yet its light shines brighter than all the stars. And about those stars… the nearest one to us Earthlings is Proxima Centauri. It is 4.23 light years (23 trillion miles- give or take) away from the Earth's solar system. Just to put that into perspective, the Voyager 1 spacecraft was launched in 1977. It travels at approximately 38,000 miles per hour and is scheduled to reach Proxima Centauri in 80,000 years.

Somehow, in my not so scientific mind, there is a connection between our investment in our relationships with others and the heavenly lights. Our families have been given to us for more than our pleasure. They are in closest proximity to us and we shine the brightest on them. Good or bad, they are looking at our light and it is having an impact that will last longer than we will. As a matter of fact, some of the starlight we see at night, so the experts say, is traveling to us long after the star has ceased to exist.

If you are reading this, you are a living being with the ability to reflect the light of Jesus on all the people around you. In order to do that, however, you must remain in close proximity to Him. Daily time with Jesus, learning from His life and His words, listening for His Spirit to direct your day, your words, your attitudes, your thoughts will all factor into the light that you are shining in every relationship you have. Particularly those nearest you. And that light from you will shine far beyond your lifetime. Like the heavenly lights, our lives are meant to leave behind a light for generations to come.

Taking all this into consideration, take a look at your relationships, at home, at work, during leisure time, at school… etc. What light are you reflecting? How are you directing others to the true Light of the world? Are you involved in a relationship that allows the Light of Jesus to draw you closer to Him? We all need that friend we vent to, but in the end, does that friend bring you back to the Truth? The truth is that we are His people, commanded to love and serve God and one another. That should be where that venting session ends. Is that the light that your friends reflect? That you reflect for them? If not, you are possibly seeing life with your own self at the center, living for the day, for the “feeling,” for the illusive happiness you feel you are entitled. If that is where you find yourself, I can guarantee that you will become as comfortable as a fish out of water, for you are seeking the wrong things for your species.

You were created to be a carrier of LIGHT in our dark world. Examine your relationships and make sure that you are reflecting the LIGHT of Jesus. Every single day, be the light that will shine in the hearts of people for generations after your earthly vessel has returned to dust.

“Lord, remind us each night as we see the heavenly lights, that we are created to carry your light to the world in such a manner as to guide others to You even after we are gone. Help us to invest in relationships that will allow us to shine and receive Your light into the darkest corners of our hearts so that we can experience Your transformation. Thank You for the eternal nature of  Your light that will shine until You return. Amen.”

Living with Margin

On Saturday we will be celebrating the life of my Aunt Ruth. Alzheimer’s kept her from living alone after my uncle passed, and so she moved into our home and those months were a huge blessing to me. She was a simple and lovely soul and even with her mind failing, she still taught me a better way to live.

Prior to coming to my house Aunt Ruth had lost weight and her clothes hung on her. She refused to buy new ones because all she really needed was to wear a belt! The collars of her shirts were showing a great deal of wear, but they had served her well for decades and there was nothing wrong with them that a hot iron couldn’t remedy! All of their important papers could be found in the small metal box on the shelf in the closet. Her kitchen was never cluttered, because she kept only the bare necessities. Every time she would open my refrigerator she would announce, “I need to do something about this mess!” I obviously had more in there than I needed. In her fridge, you could easily see and identify every item at all times. Ketsup, Mustard, Mayo, Sprite, Butter, Bologna, Black Raspberry Jam and whatever meat she planned to fix for supper. I would have more than that in one cubic foot!

Her small and simple life had a huge impact on so many people. She had no worries about what to eat. She kept it simple. She had no worries about what to wear. That was simple, too! Never a pile of laundry to do, because they didn’t have enough clothes between them to fill a washer more than once a week. The house was always tidy and the lawn was immaculate. They always had what they needed and they always, ALWAYS had enough to help any of us who might need it.

Aunt Ruth was 92 years old when she woke up in heaven. It comforts me to believe that Uncle Tom was there waiting to greet her, but I don’t really know how that works. They had spent many years together in the cab of a North American Van Lines Semi zig-zagging across the United States. For as far back as I can remember they did everything together. They were a team and they were devoted to each other and to God and to His Church.

Sunday, when Pastor Chris spoke about the Biblical teaching of living our lives with margin, I couldn’t help but think of Aunt Ruth and Uncle Tom. They left no estate behind. They never owed marvelous things. They didn’t travel the world. In our culture, their lives would appear small and insignificant.  But if you take into consideration the huge margin around them, their lives were huge and they left a HUGE imprint on so many of us.

What I have learned from them is that if I keep acquiring more things, my house will not be as tidy as I want it to be. If I buy more clothes, my closets will be unmanageable. If I buy more food than we will eat in the next several days, I won’t be able to find it until it rots in the back of the fridge and alerts me to its presence. If I spend more money on what I don’t really need, I will have less to share with others. If I keep my calendar full, I won’t have the availability that they always seemed to have.

Rest in peace, Aunt Ruth. And thank you for teaching me the valuable life lessons about living smaller so I can give bigger.

Release The Grip

Anyone remember the Dionne Warwick song from the 70s, “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again?”  It proposes the idea that love is nothing but pain and trouble and definitely not worth your investment. There is some truth to the notion that with love, there is pain. When you give your heart to the care and keeping of another flawed human being, you risk it all. They now have the potential to bring more joy into your life than anyone else. They also have the potential to bring more hurt. Their words matter more. Their attitudes impact you more. Their actions affect you more. You have become very vulnerable because you have given your heart to another.

After exposing all the dangers of falling in love, Dionne vows, “so, for at least until tomorrow, I’ll never fall in love again.” Even though it can be painful, the fact remains, we were made to love. We were created to live in relationships. In spite of the risk of pain and sorrow, most of us jump into love and give our hearts, expecting the best and being blind-sighted by the worst. Sometimes it is because we didn’t use wisdom in our choice, did not follow God’s plan for our future, married for all the wrong reasons… but even in the best circumstances, we are still human and we will fail and pain will happen.

How are you doing? This is an important question because healthy relationships matter, not just for the sake of your heart or your sanity or your marriage, but for the sake of your children. You see, something many parents don’t realize is that beyond teaching manners and how to tie shoes and say the alphabet, you are the primary teacher of healthy relationships. The way you do life with your spouse and with others is the text book they study every day.

My wise father states very simply that the best thing to help a marriage thrive is to have “a good forgetter.”  Obviously he doesn’t mean that you forget the important things but that you forget the infractions against you. The most unhealthy relationships are those that hold on tightly to that grudge, refusing to forgive an injustice. Withholding forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It festers in your heart and causes more suffering than our hearts are created to withstand.

Are you certain that you have released the grip of the grudge? Have you let go of that time when he really disappointed you? The “relationship textbook” that your kids are studying in your home can have many chapters. Do these chapter titles fill your book?  “How to Withhold Affection When You’re Mad.”  “The Silent Treatment as Punishment.” “How To Use The Kids As Leverage To Hurt Your Spouse.”  “Words That Help You Get Even.” “Invest In The Kids Instead Of The Marriage.” “How To His Push Buttons.” The title of this book is The Deadly Grip of Unforgiveness.

If you are teaching your kids about relationships from the textbook called, The Deep Joy of Forgiveness, the chapters will be more like…  “Turing the Other Cheek,” “He Didn’t Intend To Hurt You,” “She Is Still Learning To Love,” “Be Patient,” “Extending Grace,” “Listening More Than Talking.” 

Having a healthy relationship with the people in your life is the best way to insure that your children will have healthy relationships. May I encourage you to release your grip on whatever grudge you are nursing and hold tightly, instead, to the joy of forgiving. Extending grace to those who sought to destroy Him is the example of Jesus. The example we are to follow.

Grace cannot be earned by anyone so if you desire to be like Jesus, showing grace when it isn’t deserved is a giant step in the right direction. Release the grip on what destroys and get a solid grip on what breathes life into your relationships.

Cleaning Up

Have you ever helped a child clean their VERY messy room and when it is all in order it is as if everything is new. They play with toys they had abandoned because all the pieces have been found. They enjoy a toy they couldn’t find in all the clutter. They actually have socks in their drawer that match and there are no Legos to pierce your feet in the middle of the night. It is a wonderful thing and they vow that they will keep it like this forever!

Does that ever happen… they keep it clean forever…? They may keep it clean until they decide something else is more fun than taking care of their things… or they get in a hurry… or you have a late night of homework and no time for the bedtime ritual of picking everything up and putting it in its place. Or the worst…. A friend comes over and wants to see all the toys and thinks it is a good idea to dump them all on the floor. Your child is now completely overwhelmed and you have to go back and help pick up the pieces of that once tidy space.

As parents/grown-ups, we aren’t so very different. We work to lose weight and get fit, then let it go when we allow temptation to lead us astray. We vow to never let the laundry pile up, but after work we are just too tired so we push it back another day. We are going to get out those envelops and stay on budget until we are too tired to cook and order pizza instead or decide it would be bad stewardship to miss all those sales… even when our closets are bulging with clothing.

None of us really wake up in the morning and think, “I want to be a hot mess today and allow my lack of self-control take over my life. I hope to disappoint my spouse with my rude tongue. I can’t wait to scream at my kids until they cry. My plan at work is to cut corners and waste time. I will text and drive and cause an accident. I will eat the junk food that makes me miserable and drink too much so that I am not myself. I will feed my addiction and push aside my desire to walk with Jesus this day, because my way is obviously better.” We don’t say those things… but far too often, we live them.

Why is that? Paul tells the first century church in Rome that, if we are following Jesus, we no longer need to be a slave to the demands of sin. He reminds the young converts that a decision to follow Jesus is to link arms and walk the way He walks. The chains of our sinful desires have been broken, but we remain in the dungeon of failure, holding on to those heavy chains.

How many of us who profess to be a follower of Christ are still holding on to the life we lived without him? How many of us are a hot mess because our words haven’t changed, nor have our attitudes. We want that clean room where we can play in peace and find what we need, but we keep inviting the same “friends” into our life who create messes and in the blink of an eye we are back to the mess we want to escape.

If you claim to be a God follower, but your life doesn’t look any different than before you decided to follow Him… then you haven’t followed. You are simply claiming to have a clean room, but keeping the door shut so you don’t have to admit you are a mess.

So, I ask you, are you linked with Jesus and following the path He has for you or are you still linked with the sin you intended to leave behind?  Are you letting Him help you clean up the mess and toss all the brokenness aside? Are you showing your children how life changes when you are no longer a slave to sin but have become a slave to obedience? If you have made a commitment to follow Jesus, within you is the power to overcome the desires that sin planted in your heart. You have what you need to grab the hand of your Savior and walk in His way.

If you want true blessings in your life you have to turn from the way the world lives and trust Him. Your obedience to Him is the beginning of your new life. He accepts us when we are a mess, but it is contrary to His plan for us to remain so. Drop those chains, grab His hand and let’s get this mess cleaned up!

Renew Your World

One of my very favorite chapters in the Bible is Romans 12. It has so much to help us in our day to day relationships. In fact, Dana and I have even led a few Couples Bible Studies based on the truth found in this message from Paul.  Right from the beginning, Paul recognizes that the world is steering us wrong; telling us lies; wanting us to conform to a societal norm that will pull us in the opposite direction of Jesus. Apparently things haven’t changed in the last 2,000 years!

In our current culture, we learn to look a certain way, to talk a certain way, to dress a certain way in order to be acceptable. We choose our own truth and our own path to follow. We must tolerate all things and all people so as not to offend. But what if “our truth” doesn’t align with someone else’s? What does that tolerance look like? How do I take a stand for truth when my truth doesn’t look like your truth? It is a big, hot mess to figure out.

Paul recognized that hot mess in the early church. It probably didn’t look like the 21^st century mess. Regardless, I am convinced that following the ways of the world will always lead you to death. And when we listen to the world, the decay begins. “Don’t listen to the world and the way they think about life and relationships and living in harmony with one another,” Paul begs his readers. “If you want to see God show off in you, change the way you think! Stop thinking about how your needs can be met and being angry and resentful when someone fails you. Stop trying to push the blame and force others to change. Work, instead, to honor others above yourself and serve them in love regardless of how you are treated.” That’s my paraphrase…

If you and your husband live the way that Paul describes in this chapter – and, incidentally, he learned it all from the teachings of Jesus – then your home will be filled with joy, tension would fade, love would reign, and your kids would be watching a wonderful example of what marriage was intended to be. They will learn how to treat others, how to be the person Jesus calls us to be.

Dads, your daughters are very likely to find someone who will treat them like you treat their mother. That might be good. Might not. But understand this… you are creating their “normal.” If you want them to expect more than rude, angry, sullen, arrogant, selfish behavior in a husband, then take those behaviors off the table and show them how a man should treat his wife. If you don’t know, read Romans 12. You will find loads of things to work on.

Moms, your sons, likewise, will be fine with someone who treats them as you treat their dad. It is the “normal” they see every day. If you pout, manipulate, degrade, yell, slam doors, and rebuff their affection then you are teaching your boys to find a woman who will mirror those qualities. If you want them to find a godly woman that will honor them and adore them, show them what that looks like. Sitting around bashing your husband with your friends has to stop and be traded for a good dose of building them up and showing respect and appreciation for them.

Dana and I have been on a mission to live out Romans 12 in our home for the past few years. It has begun to get easier and seem more natural as we have allowed God to reshape us by changing the way we think. We have learned firsthand that the way you think determines the way you feel and the way you feel determines how you act and react. Unfortunately, we didn’t discover the power of allowing God to change the way we think while we were still raising our family. But, it is never too late to be a good example. Never too late to allow God to renew and reshape your thinking. Never too late to see the ways you are conforming to the patterns of this world and determine that must stop. Never too late to allow God to change your thinking, which will change your actions and attitudes.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world,

but let God transform you into a new person

by changing the way you think.

Then you will learn to know God’s will for you,

which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

Twisted Parenting

How does your Parenting report card look? Are you doing okay? We see examples of bad, twisted, parenting in the news daily. We shine when compared with them! Up against God's standard, however, what would your grade be? How can we be an A student when it comes to raising our kids to serve Jesus?

Parents today are busier than ever before in history. We live in a fast paced world where many things demand our allegiance and we are committed to a variety of good things. We teach our kids to stick to an instrument or a team or a sport and commit themselves to developing the necessary skill to excel and push their team on to victory. We understand that, to be good at anything, means we devote our time and energy to it. 

We see parents that become really twisted in their thinking, wanting their child to become a superstar, pushing them beyond reasonable limits. Not good! Done well, with appropriate boundaries, however, it is good to push your kids to excellence in life. But, how is your knowledge and commitment to excellence translating into showing your children what it means to follow God? Do you ever think about that? 

Believers often claim that Jesus is their #1 priority. When that is truly the case, walking with Jesus is valued above all other commitments and is lived out in your daily life. Therefore, as a follower of Jesus, your primary objective in parenting is insuring that your kids know God. Obviously, you can’t make them follow Jesus, just like you can’t make them a superstar on the swim team, HOWEVER, you can make sure they attend practice, buy the special milk that will build their muscles, purchase the proper swim gear, participate in the fundraisers, pay the fees for the swim meets, align them with successful trainers, follow the coaches orders and cheer them on from concrete bleachers in a hot and humid natatorium several times a week. That is what we do when we are a committed and supportive parent.

How do we translate that kind of commitment into cheering them to victory on a spiritual level? If your level of commitment in that area is taking them to church with some regularity, you are leaving much to chance. That is like having them practice their instrument a couple hours a month and expecting them to play like Beethoven. Or buying them a speedo and expecting them to swim like Michael Phelps.

When we are already so busy with life that we find ourselves exhausted most of the time, how do we add a commitment to nurture our children’s faith? The prophet Isaiah helps us with that…

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

They will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

The Hebrew word used for hope or in this passage is KAVAH. “Originally, kavah meant to “twist” or “weave,” as strands of a rope, making a tool capable of holding a heavy load securely” (www.hebrew4christians.com). If there is a heavier load than the responsibility of raising children, I haven’t found it. Knowing that we are responsible for building the next generation of leaders in the world is profoundly overwhelming, but when we weave God and His plan into our daily lives; when we twist ourselves into His holiness; when we bind ourselves to Him, our strength is renewed and we are able to work smart…not just hard… and soar, allowing Him to be the wind beneath our wings.

If your prayer for your kids is that they will learn to soar with eagles, then twist more of Jesus into your daily life. The words you say, the decisions you make, the people you invest in, those who you allow to shape you, the way you spend your time and your resources will all begin to reflect that you have become part of God’s tapestry. You will find that you will be strong enough to raise your children with Godly values. You will be able to commit to reading the Bible and applying it to your life. You will be able to make decisions based on what God values rather than what society dictates. You will raise children who will value the God who has made you the person He created you to be.

Don’t stop the Weaver. Give Him the shuttle and allow Him to make your life and your home into a beautiful tapestry of His strength and goodness. Let His faithfulness and truth be twisted into your everyday life and be woven into Almighty God and His story. Now, that is the proper type of "twisted" parenting!

Waking With Truth

Recently I was challenged to recognize my first thoughts upon rising in the morning. The purpose is to determine how my thoughts impact my life. That challenge caused me to recall a time that I would often wake up thinking, “I am too tired to face all I have to do today. I can’t do it!” Now there is a recipe for a life of defeat! As I learned to let God change the way I think, my first thoughts of the day changed from defeat to anticipation. Now I am more likely to say, “Thank you, Lord, for another day filled with the blessing of knowing You are walking with me, giving me all I need to do to fulfill Your plan for my day.”

There is a Deceiver who will hi-jack our thoughts, like he did mine for years, and destroy the victory designed for our days if we don’t learn to identify the difference between God’s Truth and the counterfeit truth that we find in the world.

As parents, it is imperitive that we recognize the difference between real Truth and real deception. Often we look to the “experts” for how to accomplish that. When I was raising my first 2 kids, it was the era of Dr. Spock who touted the philosophy that children should be allowed to express themselves without being directed and shaped by adults. A decade later, when I was raising my next 2, Spock recanted his teachings, realizing we had raised a generation of self-centered, undisciplined people with no moral compass. I’m glad I knew the Truth back then!

My point is, when we look to people to show us truth we will not have a constant, irrevocable source of truth, because people change. Philosophies change. Societies change. Cultures change. The saying, “Hindsight is always 20/20,” should tell us that we don’t know squat about life without the Source of Universal Truth.

For this reason we, as parents, must be students of the Word, because that Truth is eternal. It has never changed. It was written by 40 different people who lived on 3 different continents, writing in 3 different languages over the span of roughly 2,000 years. The authors range from shepherd to military leader to architect to physician to cup-bearer to poet to historian. It was written from palace, prison, wilderness and exile. The authors did not meet at Starbucks to compare notes or corroborate stories yet the same common theme runs throughout all 66 books that comprise the Bible.

The message we find woven through all of Scripture is the TRUTH that Creator God made us in love, with a purpose and we are to honor and worship Him by allowing His Truth to guide our lives. From Eden to 2017 the universal theme of humanity is to rebel against His Truth, create our own truth and go our own way, becoming a society of individuals who are confused, self-absorbed, hopeless, lost and defeated. The other thread in this Divine tapestry is GRACE that will do whatever it takes to reconcile His lost children to Himself.

Parents, will you begin 2017 finding the Truth that God longs to speak into your life? Will you let go of the deceptions that control your thoughts, decisions and relationships?  Perhaps we should recite the Truth in which God desires us to live each morning until the false ideas die away and our default is the Truth in which God created us to live. Try this as you start your day…

“This is a new day for me to walk in the Truth. I will make my time with God my first priority so that I can discover the Truth He has for me. I am a student of the Word of God and will dedicate myself to the Truth I find there. I will say “NO!” to the one who draws my thoughts away from the Truth. I will embrace the fact that I am a unique creation of Almighty God, made for a specific purpose and empowered by God to fulfill it. I will shine the light of Truth so my children can see the path God has for them. I will embrace God’s command to love my spouse and honor them with my words and deeds. I will be a beacon of hope to others because I am living in Your Truth. I will allow the joy of the Lord to be my strength as I walk through this day. I will grow in wisdom as I surrender my thoughts to You. I will live in the Truth of the many blessings You give me daily and I will have a thankful heart.”

"Do not live as the world lives, but let God transform you by changing the way you think."

Romans 12:2

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."

Psalm 143:8

God Has A Plan

Today, January 4^th, is a very special day. It is 83^rd birthday of my father, Clarence “Frank” Franklin. It is special because he is special. But, it is also special because he is celebrating the third birthday since given a death sentence by the doctor. “Stage 4 Non-Hogkin’s Lymphoma,” they said. “Three to six months,” they said.

The wisdom of man is nothing when God has another plan. God wasn’t finished with my dad. There were more people to be blessed by him; more wisdom to be shared by him; more love to be given by him.

As the New Year begins, do you know God’s plan for you? Perhaps you have a broken heart.  God the Comforter, has a plan. Perhaps your bank account is dangerously low. God the Provider has a plan. Perhaps your health is failing. God the Healer has a plan. Perhaps you have lost your way. God the Redeemer has a plan. Perhaps you are alone. God the Father has a plan.

If you have lived to see another year, rest assured it is because God has a plan for your future. He will restore, refresh and renew you as you learn to rest in Him. You will grow strong and wise as you learn to hear His voice in the quiet places. You will be blessed and be a blessing as you lean into His promise for a full life. It may not look like the life you planned for yourself, but as you place your trust in Him, you will discover that His plan is far richer than you could have imagined.

Moms and Dads, make this year the one you will always remember as the one where you stopped listening to the world and started listening to God. Make this the year where you blocked out all the noise to find time with Him daily. Make this the year when you model the beautiful, selfless love God intends in a marriage. Make this the year when your trust is without borders. Make this the year that you apply God’s Word to your life and teach your children to do the same. Make this the year that you discover God is faithful. Make this the year of growth as you walk ever closer to Him.

Start each day with a prayer for God’s direction and an awareness of any deceptive thoughts that keep you from following Him. This prayer of David is a good beginning…

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

 for I have put my trust in You.

Show me the way I should go

 for to you I entrust my life.”

Psalm 143:8

What Are You Drinking?

Now that Christmas is past, there is always that look at the previous year and the roller coaster ride of good and bad, successes and failures, treasured memories and trials that we have endured. As we look to 2017 there are things we all want (and maybe NEED) to do differently. We all have those areas where we need to improve in order to become who we were created to be. Some needs are pretty universal. We should get more exercise, be kinder, serve others, walk with Jesus, love God, be compassionate, drink more water, listen more than we talk, do our chores with a good attitude… and then the world will be a better place for all of us.

Clearly, drinking water is a pretty big deal and should be high on our list. Even Jesus needed water. Remember the story in John 4 where Jesus sits and waits at Jacob’s Well… longing for someone with a vessel to draw some clear, cool water to bring relief to his parched throat. Certainly he must have been dehydrated, for he stopped at the well and sent the disciples on into town for provisions. Apparently, without a drink of water, he couldn’t make it into town with them.

No, wait… this was Jesus. He could draw water from a rock if He chose to. But he didn’t. He had a greater need than water that day. He needed to connect with a sinner. On this day it was a woman whose life was a train wreck. He needed her to connect with Him, to engage and communicate with God in human flesh. That is why he waited at the well.

Every life seems to have a story of longing and seeking fulfillment; looking for all life has to offer; struggling to find our place to shine, our reason to “be.”  Our bellies are full of “best laid plans” and sour milk situations that we once thought would make our existence meaningful, or at the very least, happy. We go to the right places. We do what we are advised to do. We read and follow the self-help gurus… but still, we can’t quite quench that need deep within us.

Jacob’s Well was a good well. He was an ancestor to be proud of. Drinking from his well should be enough. It was probably the Evian of the first century. Jesus, however, being all wise, knew that even this water that had sustained life for generations was not enough. Not for Him. Not for the sinful woman who came to draw her water.

 With grace and compassion He appealed to her that day… out of HIS NEED… not for a drink of water, but to reunite with one He loved, even in her lost state. He needed to pardon her so that she could be His child, with all the benefits of a princess. He is doing the same today with you and with me. In the midst of our hot mess….even right in the middle of our identity crisis… our search for fulfillment… our climb to “significance” …our quest for true love. There He is, asking you, asking me to join Him, forever… to drink from His wealth … not our own; not our ancestors; not from places to which a broken world seems to have directed us.

The "well" where we "drink" may have good water, but it is not going to create the life for which our souls long. Our cravings will continue. Our hearts will remain dry. Our joy will not be complete until we submit to the One who engages our heart in that conversation, asking us to drink from His unending supply of Life. Life that is more amazing than we can ever imagine.

If you want to be a better parent, a better spouse, a better student, a better employee, a better follower of Christ in 2017, try focusing on the One who is calling you to sit with Him and drink in all that He has for you. That is the reason for the manger. That is the reason for the cross. You have an invitation from the Creator of the universe. Your time with Him is never EVER wasted. It is transformational.

He has been missing you…

The Thrill Of Hope

“The thrill of HOPE, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

These words from the familiar carol, “O Holy Night,” speak to me today, even though they were written over 150 years ago about the birth of Jesus Christ over 2,000 years ago. Why? Because the world is still weary. I hear from people regularly who are weary from hope that has been lost. It seems to be a familiar theme in Christmas stories…

In the Christmas classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey lost hope when a financial crisis hit his Savings and Loan. He was ready to end his life when Clarence the angel came on the scene to show him that his life had great value.

In the movie, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” the Grinch became “grinchy” because of his loss of hope of ever being valued and loved by anyone… that is, until Cindy Loo Who came into his life and showed compassion by inviting him to be part of the community that had initially shunned him.

I wonder, as I type this column, if you are experiencing a profound weariness as you prepare for Christmas. All the shopping, the decorations, the food prep and parties… all the lists and cards and decisions to be make… all the blessings and programs and cookies to bake… the list seems endless and exhausting. What is it about the holidays that drain us and steal our joy?

The enemy of our soul will be happy to take credit for our weariness. As long as he can fill our lives with fun and busyness and list upon list at Christmas, he can keep our focus off of the “thrill of HOPE.” Without that Hope, you will certainly not “fall on your knees” in awe and wonder at the precious gift of a Savior.

Perhaps it isn’t a busy schedule, but a hopelessness in your spirit that has stolen your joy. Maybe you need the thrill of hope to be restored in your soul. Jesus came to bring hope. He came to bring life and make it better than you can imagine. He came to reunite His broken creation with the Creator. He came because of a love that we will never be able to comprehend.

This Christmas, may your heart be filled with hope as you encounter the beauty and the glory of God, becoming like us to reunite us with Him for eternity. May you see His love like never before and realize that there is indeed reason to have HOPE!

Merry Christmas!

"God and Sinners Reconciled"

Hark the herald angels sing, "Glory to the newborn king"
Peace on earth, and mercy mild - God and sinners reconciled
Joyful all ye nations rise. Join the triumph of the skies.

Christmas is a time to celebrate the gift of reconciliation. The whole purpose of Jesus coming to earth as a human baby was to bring reconciliation to God and humanity. Christmas is a gift of connection; of joining our needs with His supply; of bringing our loneliness to his comforting Presence. Christmas is the solution to the problem in Eden, when the great divide occurred between God and humanity. Christmas is “God and sinners reconciled.”

What a beautiful thought… God becoming man so that we can become divine; heirs of the King of Kings; companions of our Creator throughout eternity; free from the bondage of the sin that dominates our broken world. It is a gift beyond measure with an incomprehensible value.

Like any gift, it is only ours when we accept it.

So, do you want the gift?

It seems so simple. Of course we would want to be with God throughout eternity. Certainly we want freedom. As parents, we pray for our kids to accept this gift of immeasurable worth. But, do we really accept the gift, or just talk about it? Describe it? Read about it?

William Wallace wrote a poem in the 1800s championing the power and beauty of motherhood, but it applies to our homes today. The refrain will be familiar to you… “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” As parents, we hold the power to change the world by raising our children to understand the reconciliation that Jesus came to bring. Its primary purpose may have been to reconcile God and humanity, however, if we cannot bring ourselves to reconcile with one another, we have essentially rejected the gift.

If our kids are to take seriously the offer of reconciling with God, they must witness reconciliation, in its purest form, in our homes. Our unbridled tongue, our judgmental words, our lashing out in an emotional outburst, our unkindness, our refusal to accept an apology, our insistence to hang on to our bitterness as if it were a badge of honor… all these are indications that we are refusing the gift of Christmas, reconciliation with God. If this is what they see, they will not ever grasp the reconciliation that God has for us.

This Christmas, can we just let go of the heavy baggage of resentment that we proudly wear like an ugly Christmas sweater?  Can we rise above the tendency to bear grudges? Can we demonstrate love for everyone, no matter what, so that they can see the transformation that comes when we are truly reconciled with God? Scripture tells us that before we can be truly reconciled to God, we must be willing to be reconciled to one another.

Make this a Christmas to remember by unwrapping that gift of “God and sinner reconciled” and find true “peace on earth” and at home.

Demonstrate What You Celebrate!

Let There Be Light!

I like light. I don't maneuver well in darkness and tend to run into things. Life is just easier when you can see clearly. That said, there have been times when darkness has been a blessing...  Like when the neighbors pop in unexpectedly. I know what my floors look like in the light of day. It's been a busy couple of weeks... don't judge me! But with only the light of the Christmas tree and a few candles, I can confidently invite them in for hot cider and feel pretty good in my dimly lit, festive home...as long as they don't have to use the bathroom and turn on the light in there!  The point I am making is that darkness seems to be a blessing when we are trying to hide something. In that situation, light becomes the enemy.

If I were content to live in the light of the candles and tree lights, my floors would likely remain untouched longer. My bathtub would look pretty good if I never turned on the light. Even the left over mascara from yesterday doesn't  look bad smudged under my eyes when I don't turn the light on in the morning. Light tends to show us things that we don't really like to see, at times. It uncovers the flaws we mask. But without it, we slip into a state of neglect that is not healthy. Living in darkness helps us pretend we are okay when we really are a hot mess.

Perhaps it is a good idea to shine a spotlight into our lives, from time to time to see what we have either intentionally or subconsciously left untended. Parenting is a responsibility that keeps us running. Keeping up with the schedules that our children have can leave us exhausted and allow little time for the things to which we were once completely committed. Often times it is the busyness of life that becomes our "darkness."

 Do you remember when you decided to follow Jesus and were convinced that you were going to read your Bible daily? Do you recall those who you promised to pray for daily? Can you feel that inner pull to spend time daily with Jesus that you vowed was a lifetime commitment? How about mealtime with the family around the table? Or church every Sunday morning? Some invisible creature seems to have crept into our "darkness" and stolen our resolve to be the people of God.

For others of us, broken relationships and hurts have left us in "darkness" and rather than seeking the light that would expose our needs, our failures and our brokenness, we are content to stay in the darkness. Shining a light into our hearts would be painful, because in the darkness, we can assign blame to the ones who have hurt us rather than see our part in the hurt. It is easier to leave the lights off and live in darkness than it is to allow the light of God to expose the areas where we could begin to be transformed.

Jesus came to be the light. Jesus is light... not so he can humiliate or shame us, but so that He can bring healing. As Christmas approaches, allow His light to illuminate your soul and reveal the broken places where He wants to restore you. He is a good and faithful Father. Trust the Light.