Heaven Now

In the past 2 years I have lost both of my parents. Their earthly bodies wore out and they left us here missing them. As much as I miss them, I know they are in a better place. Heaven is real, but it isn’t just a place to long for when we leave this earth. Here’s how I know...

Dad loved deeply with the kind of love that impacted so many people in so many ways. He put his heart on the line, vulnerably risking everything to love without limits. He learned to empty himself of his own thoughts and be filled with the thoughts of Jesus. Because he allowed himself to be vulnerable, he could live for others, rather than himself. And because he trusted Jesus to place His yoke upon him, he was constantly learning from Jesus how to love a little bit better and live a little bit richer life. Every time we were out in public and someone told him, “Have a good day,” he would always, ALWAYS respond with, “Every day you get is a good day.” And he meant every word of it. In the last month of his life, his body was too weak to take care of himself and he hated the thought of be a burden, but he graciously accepted what he couldn’t change and still found joy and shared it with others, with every ounce of strength he had left. Dad enjoyed heaven in the midst of his struggles, every day that I knew him.

Mom was different. Life was always a struggle for her and she would never claim to have found heaven on earth. Because of the scars in her childhood that never healed, she struggled to be vulnerable enough to love freely. She feared wearing the yoke that Jesus offered to help her synchronize her life with His, because she didn’t trust fully that He had a better plan. She liked to play it safe and not take the risk of loving and being hurt. She was a very good person, but she was never truly at peace until she knew that she only had days to live. She would tell everyone that the adage, “Old age is a privilege denied to many,” is a lie because her mind and body were so tormented with pain that life on earth was not a privilege to her. She read constantly trying to find the answers and discover the peace that God promises, but it always seemed to elude her. She read her Bible, memorized scripture, wrote in her journal, went to church faithfully and physically did the same things that Dad did as a follower of Jesus, but those things didn’t change her the way they changed Dad, and she didn’t experience heaven until she left us.

I feel very privileged to have the parents I had. Neither were perfect, but I learned so much about following Jesus from watching them. They taught me that our history has an impact on who we become. Dad’s childhood was scary. His family struggled with extreme poverty through the Great Depression.  He was no stranger to hunger and the ridicule of classmates because of his old and tattered clothing. His 3 older brothers all left to fight in WW2 leaving him behind as a youngster running from the war that was under his roof, a dangerous and mentally ill mother. Fearing her, he took to the streets finding anyone willing to play basketball with him. He became a talented athlete, but  didn’t make the basketball team, because his family was too poor to buy the uniform and his mother too unstable to risk having her at the games. His history impacted who he became. But it didn’t take heaven from him.

Mom was raised in a more affluent family, never wanting for anything. Except love. Her father wanted a son and she was the third daughter. Her memories of him were littered with angry outbursts and severe punishments. Her vague memories of her mother, who died when mom was 12, were tear brimmed eyes filled with sorrow. She had a step mother who was kind and gracious and cared deeply for her, but she missed her mom and Neva could never replace her so she unleashed her anger and resentment on the woman who tried so hard to give her a better life. Her history impacted who she became. She didn’t find heaven on earth, though she longed for it continually.

Watching Dad, I discovered that he was celebrating the joy of heaven and walking with Jesus while he was still living. Watching Mom, I witnessed the “hell on earth” that she often used to describe her life.

Why were they so different? Why did the struggles of their childhood impact them in such different ways? Why did one see glory while the other saw gloom? I’m not a psychologist, but it seems apparent to me that Dad learned to define himself by who God said he was, not what the classmates said or the coach said or his mother said. Whereas Mom defined herself as the failure her dad said she was. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,” Jesus said. Connect with Me so that I can show you where to step and who you will become. Dad took that yoke. He allowed God to transform him into the man he was meant to be. Consequently, Dad began to experience heaven before he left this earth.

This may be a lot of babbling. Mother’s Day causes me to reflect… and cry a bit. I am sad that life was so difficult for my mother. No matter what she read or what we did or said, her joy was never sustained because her thoughts always centered on what she lacked. She lacked the yoke that would direct her steps into the peace of knowing who she was in God’s eyes. She had to leave this earth to escape the pain of life.

One thing I believe with all my heart is that we must allow God to transform the way we think (Romans 12:2) if we are to begin to experience heaven and the presence of God in our lives here and now. If we are to discover victory over the mess of our past, we must think differently and then we will begin to feel a transformation take place inside of us. As those feelings change, so do our behaviors and our words and our lives. We begin to let go of the person we have been defined as and embrace the person we were created to be. And when that happens, people begin to see heaven in us and gravitate toward us rather than running the other direction.

If we want to experience heaven inside us now, three things must happen.

First, we must see that doing life on our own is futile because we are all a hot mess.

Second, we must trust that His yoke is not a burden, but when placed upon our shoulders our steps become easier and our footing more secure as we learn His ways.

Third, we must learn to see ourselves and others through the lens of the Creator so that we can freely love as He loves, give as He gives and draw others to Him.

Anything less than that leaves us longing continually for a life we cannot find on this planet. I long to be the follower, the disciple of Jesus, that is daily learning and growing closer to Him, allowing Him to transform me by changing the way I think and feel and behave. I want others to see a glimpse of heaven in me. May it be so!