Live IN Love

How do you know that you are loved? Words of tenderness? Actions? A look? A special touch? A gift? An act of service? Words of affirmation? Quality time together? We may each answer differently and it may change from day to day, but one thing is certain, love isn’t something you proclaim one time and then walk away assuming that person will always feel loved. Love is something that you cultivate and build and grow over a span of time. Without that effort, a loving relationship soon turns into no relationship at all.

A short time before Jesus went to the cross he told His followers that He loved them before He knew them. God’s love is eternal with no beginning and no end and Jesus said,

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.”

And then he follows that with,

“Now remain in my love.”

How does one “remain” in a love that has been given freely? Jesus goes on to explain…

^10 “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love,

just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.”

What He doesn’t say is, “If you do a long list of chores, I will love you.” He has already proclaimed His love that we could never do anything to earn. The way, however, to swim in the sea of His love and soak it in and feel it deeply is to do what He did… follow the way of God. And why is it important to Him? Because He wants us to experience the joy that comes as a result.

^11’ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.’

So, what is this command of God that will supply this joy? He tells us…

^12 “My command is this:

Love each other as I have loved you.”

Let’s bring that love home for a minute. Do you love your spouse as Jesus loves you? With no conditions? Will you love them on those days when they don’t get it right and leave you feeling unloved? Will you love them even if they don’t seem to return your love in a way that feels warm and fuzzy? Jesus loved us just like he loved His followers 2000 years ago, when they fell short, when they fell asleep on the job, when they failed and betrayed Him. When we are nothing but a hot mess, He loves us… AND that is what He is asking of us. To love without conditions.

That’s hard! Since love is such an investment for us, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, it is only natural to expect something in return. We don’t like the idea of sacrificing day after day with no pay off. But, Jesus addressed the idea of sacrifice in the very next verse…

^13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

He knew what they didn’t. His life was about to be required of Him. He knew that it was necessary in order to reconcile God and humanity. That was the plan from the start and it was about to come to pass. He was about to demonstrate the meaning of love with 2 boards and some nails. “Love each other as I have loved you.” He made the ultimate sacrifice to demonstrate His love. He showed us the picture of a love that gives.

I think that is why Jesus said you can’t claim to love Me if you don’t love others (1 John 4:20). You cannot possibly live in the love He freely offers if you don’t offer the same love to others…at least as much as is humanly possible. It would be like trying to build a relationship with someone with different customs and traditions who speaks an entirely different language. You may like the way they look or the idea of being in a relationship with them, but without communication of some sort, a relationship cannot be built.

If you are feeling like your relationship with Jesus isn’t growing and thriving, then look no further than your relationships with others to discover what the problem may be. You can’t live in His love if you don’t love sacrificially. When we learn to love deeply and freely, we begin to experience the joy that God intends for us. 

If you feel like your marriage is growing cold, 

don’t focus on what you aren’t getting, 

focus on what you aren’t giving. 

and learn to live in love

so that your joy will be complete.