The Wait Isn't Wasted

Last week I was with my grandson, Ethan, in Fort Wayne and we sat at a railroad crossing for about 15 minutes watching as they pulled the train forward, switched the lever, backed it up, dropped a car, pulled it forward, switched a lever, backed it up, picked up a car, pulled forward, switched a lever, backed up, dropped that car and pulled forward, switched the lever one more time so they could back up and get the car they finally made accessible and proceeded down the track. We joked about the education we were getting in trainery, which is a word I just made up, and since I had great company, the waiting wasn't wasted, but worthwhile.

That is not typically the response we have to waiting. I speak with people often who are in a difficult place in life and they want to see results. They want answers to the prayers they faithfully pray for God to save their marriage. But answers seldom come rapidly in those types of situations because change takes time and growth takes time and that is what we need if we want healing in our relationships. It seems like God should simply be able to Bibbidy Bobbity Boo our story and bring us quickly to the happily ever after we so desperately want. But, I have never seen God work that way and I think I know why.

First, we don’t see change because we are looking for God to change our spouse and what He really needs to do is change us. Our own heart needs to be shaped into the vessel that God can pour His love into so that we can love our mate, even if they never change at all. What a remarkable thing it is to look at them and feel a deep love when they haven’t changed, but our heart has.

Second, God has a way of getting all the dominos stacked just right so that when the wind of change blows, everyone and everything is in place to create the masterpiece He wants our relationships to be. He is at work in places you cannot see so that you end up receiving what you need, even though you didn’t know that you needed it.

Third, “God wants to do something in you before He does something for you.” That is a Craig Groeschel quote… and a really good one that we all should memorize. God isn’t going to fix your marriage; He isn’t going to turn your husband into prince charming; He isn’t going to turn your wife into the woman you dream about; He is going to change something in you… heal something in you that is broken and sick and troubled. He is working on preparing your heart to be the person you were made to be and that will begin the process of healing in your marriage.

Don’t give up when you don’t see the change you have been praying for. Keep praying, but change the focus of your prayer to, “God make me the person you want me to be.” When you begin to grow and change and develop into that masterpiece He is fashioning, your marriage will look better and better. The waiting is never wasted by God. He is always at work.

As you are communicating with God about your marriage, talk to each other, too. I have yet to meet someone that can actually read minds, so don’t fall into the pit of “if he truly loved me he would know what I need or what I am thinking.” Hog wash! Just tell him! Of course there is more to every story. Each marriage is unique. But the similarities are pretty consistent, as well. Keep praying for you marriage. Find a Godly person who has weathered the storms that come in every relationship and have them pray with you. And while you are waiting for the change to come, thank Him for the things that He is doing that you are completely unaware of. God is good and faithful. When you ask Him to help you love better, He is hard at work pruning away all that doesn’t fit His description of love. Let Him do His work in you and you will be amazed at how different your life will be and how rich your relationships will become.