They Have A Story

Early Saturday morning, before sunrise, Dana saw someone walking down the road with luggage. It was really cold and as the person huddled down against the neighbors shed, he went to see if they needed help. It was a young woman and she was crying and shivering, so he invited her into the house to warm up and sort things out. As we listened to her story, it became apparent that she was from a different world. She was a beautiful young lady in her twenties and could have been our daughter, but her story indicated that she didn’t grow up as our children had. And that story led her to the cold and lonely place she found herself Saturday morning.

Last summer we had the privilege of reuniting with a young lady that had been in foster care in our home years ago. It was great to see her again. Somehow, in the few months we had been together during her adolescence, she noticed a difference that caused her to make the statement, “I wish you had been my real parents. I would be in a better place today if you had raised me.”

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a reason for the way they think and operate. Our history almost always creates our feelings, our fears, and plays a huge role in our futures. Sometimes it brings us failure. Sometimes success. But in that story there are secrets that the public doesn’t know as they cast a judging eye upon the person who is wandering alone in the dark, hopelessly lost in life, with no idea what to do next. Perhaps, if we would take the time to hear their story, we could sympathize. Perhaps we could tear down some walls of prejudice and hate. Perhaps…

I have spoken with many parents who have struggled with knowing how to help their children be kind to the children in their class who are just plain difficult. Even teachers struggle… until they meet the parents and are quickly enlightened as to why the child comes to school dirty and hungry and falls asleep in the safest place they ever get to be… the classroom. It is easy for the child advocate in me to judge a parent like that… but, maybe that parent is doing all they know to do because they were never taught or nurtured or loved or encouraged. Maybe God is calling us to reach our hand, rather than roll our eyes. Maybe…

Narrowing the focus a bit, look at your own marriage relationship. How many struggles come from the different stories you bring to the home you are trying to build together? It is a constant struggle for us to see outside of our own story and our own dreams and realize the value that our spouse brings because of their completely different story. I wonder if we were to start right there and truly listen with an open heart, if we would be better able to build the loving environment we want for our children. I wonder if we shared the secrets we don’t like to revisit, we would discover for ourselves the reason we seem unable to overcome the issues that drive wedges. I wonder if bridges could be built if we realized the strength that comes from what we have overcome. I wonder…

Our world is broken. Our relationships are crippled. Our families are drifting apart. Our nations are corrupt. Our lives are a hot mess. HOWEVER… we can change that, one conversation at a time. One smile at a time. One kindness at a time. One act of generosity at a time. One time of listening rather than talking. One time of hearing rather than telling. One time of giving rather than taking. One. One act that warms our heart because we realize we are doing what we were created to do … Love and serve our neighbors. Our neighbors who have a story. Who have a reason. Who have their own brokenness that just might begin to heal if we dared to be like Jesus and place our focus on those who have nothing to offer us, but their brokenness.  The alienated and hopeless… those are the ones Jesus continually focused upon. The King of the world spent His time on earth with the common, the working class, the outcasts. Fishermen, tax collectors, prostitutes. Thieves, illiterate, diseased. He knew they had a story and He had something to share with them that could turn that story of shame into a story of victory.

Take time to listen to your children. Hear what is in their heart because that is the beginning of their story.

Listen to the reason your spouse reacts as they do. There is a story that created it.

Look beyond the differences you see in the people around you and imagine the story that may have brought them to a place you may typically look upon with judgment.

Make the world a better place by reaching out in kindness, knowing that there is always more to know.