That Tongue!

If I could give you just one gift, I think the most valuable to you would be the ability to have complete control… not over your children or your spouse or your boss or your co-workers. Not even control of your ability to say “No” to that dish of ice cream. (Ice cream is a lovely thing, after all). I would love to be able to gift you with complete control of your words. Words are a lethal weapon that can kill a mood. They are also a healing balm that can soothe a broken spirit. They have great power in making relationships strong and the same amount of power to destroy. Psalm 18:21 tells us that words have the power of life or death, and that is absolute truth!

James taught the first century believers that, “if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect (mature) and could also control ourselves in every other way” (James 3:2). Sometimes those words that we want to retract when it is too late just seem to come out of nowhere. Or do they? Jesus said, “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45). If you are like most of us, your heart wants to be in control of every situation…your future, your surroundings, your children and even your spouse. Our words indicate that our way is the best way and everyone needs to listen and comply with our wishes, simply so that we can have control.

Or maybe it isn’t the insecurity of losing control of a given situation that brings those awful words out of your mouth. Perhaps it is a heart that is focused inwardly rather than outwardly. When my heart does that self-centered thing, I am feeling that I am entitled or deserving or forsaken or helpless or any number of feelings that basically say, “it’s all about me,” and I deserve better than I have. When that happens, we are surely going to say things that any normal 8 year old would say and we show our immaturity quite well.

Possibly your words come from a heart filled with anger and resentment. Or jealousy or pride. So many heart conditions cause eruptions of destructive magma to spew from our mouths. If I could give you that gift of controlling your words, I would first have to address the condition of your heart. I would have to begin by helping you understand that you are a beautiful creation of an Almighty God, formed in His likeness with a specific purpose. I would need to help you believe that you are valued and loved by your Creator and that He is patiently waiting for you to come to Him, walk with Him, learn to recognize His voice and begin to follow Him to the place where He can mold you into the person He made you to become.

It has been my experience, through the years, that knowing Whose I am helps me to know who I am. Discovering that life isn’t about me or about my particular stake in the game, but about a much bigger plan, has been so liberating. I no longer have to fight for my rights or to be heard. I have no need to yell or quarrel or get defensive. I have a purpose and I know that in order to fulfill that purpose, my heart must be focused on Jesus and His transforming power. I can allow Him to do His fine work in my heart and shape me for the mission to which He has called me. I can let go of my need to be right and to be significant (and all those nasty words that come from an inner bankruptcy) and allow Him to show me how rich I am as the child of the Most High God.

If only I could remember that ALWAYS, then I believe that I would be better able to truly control my words. My heart would be wholly healed of its self-centeredness and I would speak with the grace I have been given. If only there was a pill I could take that would assure me that my heart would be totally connected to His and my words would be the evidence of that…  If only I could remember Whose I am at all times and not fall back into my pity party…  If only I could remember that everyone is at a different place on their journey and be merciful in my heart… If only I could be perfect…

Wait a minute… James said that control of our tongue is an indication that we are in control of everything… so we can be perfect -which truly means growing into maturity in our faith walk-as we allow Him to change our hearts. Jesus said that our heart condition is going to determine the words we speak. So my short term plan, and yours, if we really want to have control of our tongues and live as we were intended, is simply to be still and know God. Quieting myself before Him so that He can show me the path He has laid out for me is the beginning. Accepting the yoke that helps me to walk in synch with Him is a next step. Not trying to drag Him to MY WAY, but submitting to HIS WAY and allowing Him to lead is the only way that I can find out who I truly am.

Knowing myself as He knows me, complete with the blueprint that He made for my life, will take me to that place of realizing I am “His masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus to do the things He planned for me long ago” (Eph. 2:10). When I begin to take hold of that truth, I can trust Him to “transform me, by changing the way I think” (Rom. 12:2). I can stop jumping off of the Potter’s wheel and wait for His shaping to take place. That realization, that I am but a lump of dirty clay, helps me to realize that I need the Creative hands of the Potter to shape my heart. And as He skillfully works on me, my words will change into blessings that can build up others.

Yes, if I could have one wish for you, it would be that you would allow God to work in your heart so that your words could come under the control of the Master. That, my friend, will change your life like nothing else can! Words are powerful. Use them for good and not for evil.

³ We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.

⁴ And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go,

even though the winds are strong.

⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

 ⁶ And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire.

It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body.

It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.^[b]

⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue.

 It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison

.⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father,

and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.

 ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.

Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

 ¹¹ Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?

 ¹² Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs?

No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.

James 3:3-12