Hearing The Heart

When a child’s heart is broken over something that to you seems insignificant, does that make their pain truly insignificant? So many times all we see is the mess in their room that is keeping them from finding their favorite toy and we totally miss the heartbreak they are feeling over a presumed loss. Is it possible that their room is a mess because we have dropped the ball and not taught them to put something away before getting something else out? Maybe we just haven’t taken the time to work alongside them. A lack of consistency with our expectations may be the reason for the mess. At any rate, now they are crying and we are angry and there is a lost opportunity to show compassion.

Sunday the pastor said the proper way to grieve with a friend is to have a big heart with ears. What if we were to do that when a child is sad or disappointed? Perhaps, if we would listen with our heart we would hear more than whining. Maybe we would get to the bottom of their sorrow and be able to aid in their healing.

Most people struggle to see God for who He is. It is a concept that is above our comprehension. Because of that we often see Him through the childhood experience we have with our parents. Based on the way you listen to your children when they are broken-hearted, will they someday see God as compassionate? Hearing their prayers? Too busy for their problems?  When you tell them to “get over it” or “figure it out” are you painting the accurate picture of a heavenly Father who wants to walk with them in their hour of need and guide them through the difficult stretches of their journey?

I’m not suggesting that you coddle the kids through life and never allow them to learn to overcome adversity or be strong in tough situations. God doesn’t do that with us. I love the statement credited to Toby Mac: “Sometimes God doesn’t change our circumstances because he is trying to change our heart.”  We can’t run in and fix the problems our kids face, but we can walk with them through the storm, listening, loving, and crying with them as they learn to maneuver their way to maturity.

How about a little less lecturing and a little more listening this week? It could transform your relationship with your kids and change the atmosphere in your home.