It Takes A Village

A universal discovery for all who have parented is that the old adage, “it takes a village to raise a child,” is a wise statement. Even those of us who fight to be the primary influence on our kid’s lives come to the point where we realize that this task is bigger than us and we need advice, strength, support…something… to help us be the very best parents for our children.

Based on the assumption that it really does take a village to raise a child, who is your village? Maybe you would say their teachers. We all have that one teacher that stands out in our mind who made all the difference. They believed in us. They didn’t let us be a slacker, but expected the best from us. They saw who we could be and pushed us to get there.

Many have chosen a church by the children’s programs that are offered because they see the value of having others to teach Biblical principles to our kids. Maybe because they don’t know much about Scripture or maybe because they do know that Scripture teaches us to gather in worship with other believers.

There is another, often overlooked part of our ‘village.’ It is our friends… not the friends of the children (that we often try to dictate or control), but the friends of the parents. Who are the adults that you consider your friends? Who are the people who are your confidants? Who do you go to with your difficult questions and challenges? Is it people that will point you toward God? Is it people who will show pity, sympathy and never say the hard things that we need to hear?

Here is the truth… if you are not in a place where you value friendships that will promote wise and godly counsel in your life, there is an excellent chance that your kids won’t look for those types of relationships in theirs. In fact, here is an exercise for you. Think about your “go to” person when life throws you a curve ball. Is it a godly person that will pray with you? Think about the person you would choose to hang with on the weekend to have a good time. Is that person one who values their relationship with God above all else? Is your best friend your best friend because they make you a better person or because they are cool with just letting you remain as you are, because… let’s face it… nobody’s perfect.

Fasten your seat belt because I am going out on a limb here with a very bold statement… if your choices for close friends are not godly people, then you are choosing an ungodly village to help you raise your kids. If “good” people are good enough; if “kind” people are good enough; if “compassionate, generous, disciplined, honest, strong, fun” people are good enough for YOU, then why would your kids look for anything more in their friends?

You are choosing the village where your kids will grow. Have you chosen a village that points them toward Jesus and heaven? Good, kind, compassionate, generous, disciplined, honest, strong, fun …are all great qualities, but none of those qualities will get you to heaven. If you believe the Bible is TRUE (and I do) then you know there is only ONE WAY to spend eternity with God. Jesus. He didn’t die to bridge the chasm between you and your Creator in hopes that you would take a detour to good, kind, compassionate, generous, disciplined, honest, strong, fun and call it good enough. If you want your children to find and cross the Bridge that will bring them to God, then choose a godly village in which to raise them. 

Those who have studied and researched claim that every teen should have at least 5 strong Christians speaking into their lives at all times. Don't depend on the church to supply those people. If your village is important to you, you will seek out those people who are growing in their faith and find ways to connect with them. We need each other. We need accountability. We need friends who will hold up a mirror in front of us and show us who we are. Finding and connecting with those people will transform your life and your village. Don't be afraid to ask people you value to be part of your village. It is likely they are looking for the same kind of village to raise their children.

NOTE:  Don’t forget that Jesus told us to leave our village and go make disciples. It is good and wise parenting to be “in the world” so that our kids see the value in being world changers, but it is deadly to make the world your village by being “of the world” and allowing the values of the world to rule your village.... but that is a blog for another day.

Jesus said to his disciples:

“Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck 

than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 

So watch yourselves. 

If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.”

Luke 17:1-3

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"

Luke 9:25

Then Jesus said to his disciples,

 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? 

Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 16:24-26