Restoring the Original Beauty

Currently, my husband, Dana, and I are working to rescue an old side table I retrieved from a burn pile. It had a chunk out of the top so had to be cut shorter and the edges re-routered (is that a word?) and now we are stripping and sanding, and sanding, and sanding. It's a lot of work! It takes so much pressure to scrape decades old paint off. But, that paint is nothing but a build up of ugly! When it is gone, it will be a beautiful piece of furniture. 

As I reflected on Jesus admonition to "love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, your soul, your MIND and your strength, I thought of all the times our thoughts make a mess of things with layers of lies we have believed and a distorted perspective that has buried the truth of who God created us to be. As I reflect on all the build up  of lies I have believed I realize I may need to undergo some serious transformation. The parts of me that are broken must be restored, re-edged, stripped away and sanded down to bring me back to my original beauty. Sounds uncomfortable, at best, which is probably why we are so averse to any type of transformation in our lives.

Thoughts are very powerful and can turn the trajectory of our lives. What we think determines how we feel and what we feel determines how we react and behave and that has the power to make or break our  relationships and directly impact the degree of joy we find in life. God wants to help you sharpen your mind by focusing on what is good and true and that requires sanding off the build up of bias, unforgiveness, anger, resentment, envy, pain, and lies that have made a mess of your mind. It takes work. Adding a coat of paint to disguise the problem is easier, but ultimately makes our issues worse.

If you want to find lasting beauty in life, you have to invest some time and perhaps some pressure to find out who you are at the core, without all those layers of confusion and false identity. In the end, you will see that life is so much more abundantly joyful when you find the "you" that has been hidden. The "you" God created with a purpose. The "you" that is His masterpiece.  It's amazing how the transformation of our thoughts can help us see the beauty in ourselves and others, too.

PARENT POINT...  It's a far better plan to sand away your own issues than to attack others with a sander. That isn't your job and they won't like it...however, if it is your child, it IS your job to gently clear away the things that you realize are hiding the beauty God created in them. Selfishness, disrespect, envy, arrogance, dishonesty. The world will be hard at work adding those layers, so be attentive and don't let them build up and dry there. If you address them immediately, they can be wiped away while they are still wet and abrasion is unnecessary. These are called the teachable moments. In a child's eyes, every misbehavior that you permit, you promote and it will continue and require some painful sanding down the road. Instead, point them to the beauty that God placed inside them and help them develop that into maturity.

The Power To Rise

Sunday, Chris taught us the Hebrew term "nephesh" and how we translate it to "soul" in English, then transform its meaning to a mystical, shapeless, mist where God resides inside of us, then takes it away to heaven when we die. He explained to us that the literal translation of this word is not that we have a soul, but we are a soul. Our entire being is a home for the Spirit of God to set up His headquarters and begin the transformation process. Since Sunday, I just keep envisioning God in the garden, with this perfect specimen of humanity, lying limp and lifeless until he breathed "nephesh" into him and am reminded how it is what is within us that makes us His image. A great reminder in a culture where we put so much emphasis on what people will see on the outside. 

Have you ever seen a potter throw a lump of wet clay on her wheel and watched it become a vessel as she forms a hollowness inside?  Or a glass blower who takes molten sand and breathes into it an empty place so it can become a lovely vase? No two are exactly alike. All have a void designed to hold something, but each cavity is different. The power to be what we were meant to be comes from inside. Consider the hot air balloon. As beautiful as they appear, they are nothing but a lot of fabric without the air that is breathed into them.

What a beautiful reminder that God has breathed into us an empty space that only He can truly fill. It is who we are from day one. We need the power of His spirit within that space to function as we were intended. Our family, our culture, our environment works to shape us by filling the God-breathed vessel within us with what they think is best, but there is something deep inside us that still feels unfulfilled. We spend much of our lives trying to be like someone we admire or respect or is successful and lose sight of the person we were intended to be. And emptiness plagues us.

That emptiness, that pain, that longing has a great and Divine purpose. "That thing that we daily battle is the suffering brought on by our separation from God and when His grace meets our suffering - that is where transformation begins" (Russ Hudson). This message resonated so much with me! It is the reason I have chosen to be an Enneagram Coach and dedicate my life to finding my truest self and helping others to do the same. I have a burning desire to guide others to the life God breathed into them and live that life in all its fullness. That is the way that I can best minister to families, create healthier homes with children that will grow to become game changers in our communities.

Think about who you truly are in the deepest place. Think about your children and how you are guiding them to fill the "nephesh" that God breathed into them. Think about your spouse and their deepest needs and longings. Pray for God to illuminate your mind and heart to see your true soul, through His eyes. That's a lot of thinking and praying, but it can lead to a freedom to live your real life and help those you love live theirs. 

All In

Keeping in mind that kids are constantly observing, but not always interpreting what they see and hear accurately, suppose I asked your kids, what is the most important commitment in the life of your parents? In what area would you say they are "all in." What do you see them doing, without fail, on a regular basis? If taken away, what would be the most upsetting activity to lose? How do you suppose they would respond? Reading their Bible/Devotional? Mom's morning coffee? Dad's beer after work? Sunday worship? A cleaning ritual? Teaching us what it means to be like Jesus? Impressing other people by the way we look and behave? A hobby? Working out? Social Media? Family time doing fun things? Climbing the corporate ladder? Vegging in front of the TV? Attending/coaching all my sports events? Working?

Jesus taught that the most important thing we can ever commit to is loving God from the deepest part of our being. That place that others can't see, formed within us to be keep us connected to God. That place where we feel a craving, a need, a longing, a desire that begs to be filled. It is the place from which good fruit grows when good seeds are planted and cultivated. Fruit that can sustain you and your family during difficult times. Like, let's say.... a pandemic. Has your love and commitment to Jesus been demonstrated in your reaction to the pandemic? Have you demonstrated grace or criticism? Have you experienced spiritual growth and a closer walk with Jesus? Has it brought out your political claws, your judgment of others, your fears? Have you found yourself showing patience and love to others, no matter which side of an issue they land on?

Loving God with all your heart was commanded by God in the beginning because He knew that was the very cure for all the "infections" a broken world would bring. When we discover that we aren't really "all in" in our commitment to love Him, we need to take a look at what might have taken up residence on the throne in our heart that was designed for Him and get rid of that false god. We need the Creator of our life there so our growth can continue and our love for Him can flourish. 

Let's be real. We are all pulled a hundred directions at once, and everything looks important to us. What is it that has your primary attention? Upon what foundation are all your important decisions based? If we love God with all we have, then all those other things will fall into place or fall away. I want to get it right. I want God to be first in my life and I want that to be reflected in all my decisions. The lasting memory I want my kids and grand kids to have of me is that I was "all in" for Jesus and without Him, I was nothing at all. As my Dad said, "The message at my funeral is not my valor and accomplishments, but God's love and grace." He had learned the meaning of being "all in" in his relationship with Jesus. May it be so of us, as well.

Chalkboard Parenting

I was the kid in fourth grade that always wanted to stay after school to clean the chalk boards. Remember those? It's what they used before white boards. Fortunately our kids will know about these archaic teaching tools because someone has designed Chalk paint so we can make anything look like the dusty, unhealthy, teaching tool that made a horrific sound when the chalk wasn't held the proper way.

I loved getting it clean but it never stayed that way.  Every day there would be more information added that needed to be wiped off so even more information could be added the next day. EXCEPT when the Mrs. Geller would write in big cursive letters, Save. For a day or a week, they were important and could not be erased, probably because it was something we were struggling to learn.

Your child's mind is like that chalk board. There are things that go on it that need to be erased. Some because they never should have heard or seen it. Some because they have it mastered and more space is needed for new things. Some things need to be circled and marked, Save. because they are important and worth teaching again and again. 

The most important thing in the saved circle should be, You are loved, no matter what. Kids need to know that they are not their actions. They are a priceless creation made by God for a purpose. I would encourage you to sit down and come up with some non-negotiables that you want your kids to commit to memory. Things that will shape their character. Things that should be written and saved in their hearts.

They will see many things in their childhood. They will remember things with a skewed childish perspective. They will learn to challenge and disobey and be disrespectful. And you have the eraser. The only way you will be able to fill their minds and hearts with what is good and right and noble is if you take the time to erase they things that harm. Keep your eyes open and notice when a word or action is inappropriate and know that bad information has been written that must be erased. Explain to them why and then write what is good and loving on the chalkboard of their hearts. No need to yell it unless you want to be as obnoxious as fingernails on a chalkboard. Just speak the truth in love and keep their chalkboard full of truth that can be saved within them always.

Multi-lingual Parenting

 

Early in 1977 I began to grow a human and on October 27^th, she was handed to me with the expectation that I would be able to continue to grow her into adulthood with minimum casualties. Five months later, the process began again and in January of 1979 the second human was handed to me to nurture and train and keep alive until he was able to manage life on his own. Neither came with a manual and both spoke a foreign language, called CRY. That was their sole method of communication. And we were left to sort out the meaning.

Eventually we were able to teach them our language and our communication improved greatly. There were still glitches, however, that would cause us to revert to our separate, native tongues so, of course, we would speak louder and they would cry louder and nothing would be resolved. Then we would remember that the most effective way to communicate was with the language of LOVE.

Almost a decade after the first baby, we were handed a beautiful 9 month old baby girl and given the opportunity to learn yet another dialect. It happened again in 1989 when a tiny 13 day old baby boy was placed in my arms. We were more experienced in the language of love by then and were speaking it fluently, so we set aside our native tongue for the time being and simply spoke the language of love. That was necessary, I reasoned, because these two came with scars and hurts and heritages that were not ours. They could not learn our language until they experienced our love.

As precious as that sounds, I have to be honest. Although I do speak decent LOVE, because that was my Dad’s first language, I am also fluent in guilt and shame, disappointment and fear. This was my mom’s first language because she learned it from her Dad. I used her language too, reasoning as she did that if I poured on the guilt, they would feel shame and turn from their wicked ways. And disappointment? Who doesn’t crumble under the weight of that? Once they are a pile of rubble, you can rebuild them into the child they should have been. Right? If the kids didn’t respond to GUILT, SHAME, or DISAPPOINTMENT, there was always the authoritative language of FEAR.  It is a humbling thing to look back at all those wrongs I committed against my wonderful children, truly thinking I was taking the high road, helping them to get back on the right path.

Sunday Chris shared an awesome parenting message from 1 Kings 19. It is a beautiful demonstration of God caring for Elijah like a loving father. Elijah was exhausted and hungry and discouraged and scared out of his mind. His life was being threatened and it didn’t matter that he had just witnessed the power and might of God in a miraculous way.  By rights, God could have pulled out the DISAPPOINTMENT card and crushed his servant for so quickly forgetting all God had done and failing to put his trust in Him. He could have poured on the SHAME for walking away from the faith that had carried him through so many difficult situations. But. He. Didn’t. Rather, God ministered to him in his brokenness and allowed him to rest in the cave that was his physical refuge and when he awoke, He sent an angel to prepare a meal for him, after which he allowed more time to rest.

What a wonderful parenting lesson we can learn from God’s gracious kindness in this story. God could see that Elijah had physical, mental and emotional needs. God accepted the fear that was real to Elijah. He recognized the exhaustion from constantly having to stand against all the wickedness of his people. And He spoke to Elijah in His native tongue. LOVE. There was no condemnation. Just a nap and a snack.

We all have a choice in how we parent and in the language we choose. If you aren’t fluent in speaking love, spend more time with those who are. Listen. Observe. Take notes. Learn to speak with loving kindness to your children and your spouse. Home is where it matters most. These are your people; your tribe. These are the people with whom you have the greatest influence, so...

Speak Love Today

 

Kayak Parenting

School has started. Just like every year at this time... only different. So much is changing and yet so much is the same. The kids are growing up. They are observing the world around them every single moment. They repeat the words we say and behave like they see other kids behave. Why can''t they just pick up the good and run with it? Why do they choose the wrong direction and follow the wrong example? The short answer.... because they are kids!

Kid's are terrific at observing the world around them, but lousy at interpreting it with maturity and discernment... again... because they are kids! They see and they do. It's that simple. There is little thought that goes into their actions and they need you to give them guidance and direct their behavior. Left to their own devices, they are likely to find the edge of the cliff.

There are many ways to parent your little one. There are many possible outcomes. 

• If you take the "Hands Off" approach and let them discover life with all it's wonder so they can become who they were intended to be, you have essentially placed them in a kayak on the river and sent them on their way to manage the current and the rapids with no paddle to keep them safe. While they observe the world, they will not see the danger ahead... because they lack maturity, and even if they did see the danger, they don't have the tools to avoid it
• If you take them to church or give them a Bible or read them a Bible story every night, and tell them NO when they want to do something that you disapprove of, you have placed a paddle in their hands, but not told them how to use it. There is a possibility that they will figure it out, connect the dots and find a way to steer clear of the most dangerous places, but there is a greater chance they will take the path of least resistance and find themselves at the brink of the falls...because they lack the wisdom and maturity to make right choices.
• If you give them instructions on how to use the paddle and help them practice in the still waters they will be so much better equipped to be out on their own. When they get far from shore, however, fear or curiosity might come into play causing them to lose their bearings and drift into situations they feel helpless to control... because that is what a child will do
• If you get in a kayak and paddle along beside them, you can show them, by example, how to manage the current, how to tilt the paddle, how to steer away from the rocks, how to stay calm and paddle on. Now they are more equipped to leave your side and go into the river without you because you have been by their side, directing them. 
• If you lose it and tip your kayak, it may be humiliating, but pull yourself together, tell them what you did wrong and show them how to right the problem. They, too, will make mistakes and need to know about grace and forgiveness and how to get topside with the least amount of injury to anyone.

When it comes to parenting, every moment is a teachable moment. Allowing them to run a muck without consequences teaches them that they can do as they please and you have no authority in their lives. When you run to their rescue with every problem they encounter, they score a zero in coping and problem solving. Jesus never simply healed the sick without a lesson involved. He showed love and grace and mercy and forgiveness AND He gave direction. He didn't worry about damaging their psyche by telling them they were wrong because there was love in his tone and guidance to get them on the right path. 

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other,

 making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."

Ephesians 4:2

Stick Shift Parenting

 When I was learning to drive we had a Chrysler Newport... a.k.a tank... and a mustang with a manual transmission... a.k.a demon. That gave me the unforgettable opportunity to learn to drive both. I'm not sure who thought I would have the coordination to feather out that clutch and start smoothly after stopping at a traffic light at the top of a hill on State Street. Pretty sure it was Dad. He always believed in me and had high hopes that I could accomplish anything I set out to do. No matter how many times I stalled or how long the line of impatient traffic was behind me, he never got rattled or impatient. He was just there to remind me repeatedly of what to do and how to do it. 

As I ponder the sermon Sunday about Parent Guilt, I reflect back to the similarities between learning to be a parent and learning to drive a stick. (I am currently wondering how many reading this will have no idea what I am talking about. Go ask your grandpa!). There is so much finesse that goes into feathering out the clutch while sliding your right foot off the brake and giving just the right amount of pressure to the gas pedal as you simultaneously remove your left foot from the clutch that it feels like nothing short of a miracle when you get it right without killing the engine or leaving part of our tires on the pavement. It isn't unlike parenting. How much do you give and where do you give it? How much pressure do you apply without crossing the line? How in the world do you get the timing just right so that things go smoothly? How much do you hang on and how much do you let go? How do you parent according to your convictions without worrying about the line of people judging behind you?

I vividly remember the day that I went from trying to start using all the memorized instructions to starting just by feeling what I needed to do. That made all the difference and from then on, it was just a natural motion. That moment in parenting comes when you .... well... hmmm.... nope! I don't think that day exists! As soon as we figure things out, they are often onto the next phase or stage of development and you have to learn all over again. Just like when you can start and stop and shift gears flawlessly... and then your husband installs a high performance clutch in the car that is so stiff it takes all of your weight and both of your feet to depress it and sliding that right foot onto the gas throws gravel a country mile! 

Here is the point of all this...parenting is hard some days and not so hard other days, but it doesn't ever just flow smoothly so that you never stall out or burn rubber. And that is a very good thing because it reminds us to go to Our Father for advice. It is far too important a task to be something you can learn to  do on your own. You will have victories and regrets and you should never ever try to parent without the help of the One who created your child with a purpose in mind. 

There is no vaccination against parental failure. You will succeed one moment and fail the next. You are human and hopefully you will keep trying until you can move forward effectively without attracting a whole lot of attention. If you are in the driver's seat  through this journey called parenting and you hope to arrive at your destination without killing the engine, (or the child) listen to the Father that is sitting beside you, giving you the instruction you need and reminding you to ignore the honks of the world. He made you for this moment and He believes in you.

Ready Or Not?

Vacation season is drawing to a close. It looked a lot different this year. A lot of research had to be done before leaving the house. Packing was a bit more critical because finding a place to purchase food or supplies was not as simple. Being ready for any potentiality was essential before the vacation could begin.

School is starting this month, in a variety of ways, all across the COVID-ridden country. Much prep work has been done in order to make it safe for the teachers and the children. Churches are opening classrooms as well and being ready means thinking outside the box and being prepared to do things differently.

We celebrated with 9 high school graduates this summer. All have prepared themselves for the next chapter in their lives. New beginnings surround us and now, more than I can ever recall in my lifetime, preparation for the journey ahead is vital. 

Sunday, Pastor Chris shared with us the story of Joshua's courageous faith, taking the Israelites across the Jordan River into the promised land. For forty years prior to this, they had roamed in the wilderness... so close to receiving the promise of God to inhabit a land where they could freely worship the One True God. But for forty years, they were not ready to enter. Now, God determined, it was time to enter, but the water was impassible. It was rainy season and the water was high and rough. How were they to cross over? Build a bridge? Rafts? An Ark? No. His instructions we much less complex, but perhaps, much more difficult.

Joshua said to the people,

 "Set yourselves apart to the LORD. 

Tomorrow He will do amazing things among you."

Joshua 3:5

Joshua knew that prep work was essential before they could receive the blessing God wanted to give them. They first had to dedicate themselves to God. Set themselves apart from the ways of the world. Consecrate themselves. Sanctify themselves. The condition of their hearts, not the condition of the river, was the determining factor for their success in crossing the Jordan River safely. They had to be ready. They dared not adopt the demanding, faithless, angry, ungodly stance of their parents. That had only brought them to ruin and they would not be entering the Promise land with them. The choice must be made. The ball was in their court. Would the make the decision to believe God and follow, or would they rebel as they had witnessed in the older generations?

As I ponder the crossing into the land of promise, I can't help but think about how we wander in the wilderness, following the patterns of our ancestors, tripping over the same things as our parents or grandparents. At what point do we cast aside the wrong path that we have witnessed and decide to prepare ourselves for the amazing things God has planned? Holding on to the traditions, the misery, the self-righteous attitudes, the lies we have believed is NOT helping us be ready for the amazing things God will do among us. Connecting to God by repentance and an attitude of submission will ready us to cross over into a new life. 

Is it time to break the patterns of the past, dedicate yourself to following God and start a new life in your home, with your family? I surely do hope so because.... tomorrow God will do amazing things among you.  Will you be ready... or not?

Fin or Feet

I live on a lake so my granddaughters have been spent a lot of summers as mermaids. The youngest was here Sunday and Monday this week and is the one who would likely sleep in the water, if allowed. For a while she was a dolphin and would follow a command and be rewarded with a chunk of watermelon. But, mostly, she was a mermaid. Her imagination was full of fantasy as she explained that sometimes she had fins and other times, like when doing a hand stand in the water, her tail would morph to appear that she had feet so that people wouldn't know she was truly a mermaid. It is so fun to watch her play, hour after hour, sometimes finding her feet and other times sporting her fins. 

All this fantasy brought me back to Chris's sermon on Sunday... fake FAITH. It is quite normal for an 8 year old child to pretend to be something they are not, but when we do it as adults, it isn't beneficial or attractive. And nobody sees it more than those who live under our roof. I assume that most of you who read this blog consider yourselves followers of Christ. Some days you follow Him more closely than others. Some days your faith is strong and your fear is small. Other days... not so much. 

During these perilous times of the COVID pandemic, where do YOU stand? It is the perfect time to exhibit your faith in God to your kids and teach them that bad experiences do not equal bad God. He is not asleep to what is happening on planet earth. He is fully aware and He is the CREATOR and is always creating good from what appears to be evil, in our eyes. 

I would like to challenge all who read this to allow God to do His work in your heart, strengthening it through the struggles and make your faith real. 

...Too much togetherness has caused relationships to be strained so make the faith you profess real by asking God to strengthen the bonds of your  marriage and morph those fins of fake faith into feet ready to go the extra mile as love demands.

...So much fear of the unknown has caused high anxiety which lowers our tolerance for just about everything and our patience ebbs away like a mermaid in the mist, never to be seen again. It doesn't have to be so. Call on the God who made you to reflect His love and let the tail of fake faith go and find the feet you need to stand up to the evil sea monster. Reclaim the loving kindness that marks you as a follower to your kids. 

...Perhaps your income has not been impacted, but people all around you are struggling to pay their rent or feed their family due to the pandemic. Are you using the strength of the mermaids tail to swim off into the sunset, or showing your kids what true compassion looks like and putting real feet to your faith, reaching out in love and making sacrifices in order to help others?

Don't be fake in your faith. Your kids will see that a mile away and, well, if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for them. If you want them to have a faith that is real and follow Jesus all the way to heaven, be real. Act out the faith you profess and when you mess up and fall short, humble yourself before them and confess that you have been less than God intended. Admit that you have been trying to do life on your own and that isn't how you want to live. It's really okay to tell them that we are all on a journey. We are discovering the power of God daily and learning that we have a choice to use His strength or our own. Sometimes we don't get it right. Wouldn't you rather your kids know that you messed up than end up failing because they have perceived your failures to be the right path for them?

Think About It

Experts estimate that we think 2,100 to 3,300 thoughts every hour. It's no wonder I can't remember anything! The things I need to remember get buried under all the senseless things that scroll through my mind. Many of them need to keep on running and not take up residence there.

I have worked with many people through the years that carried wounds from the thoughts they allow to live in their mind and some whose marriages are in jeopardy because those thoughts were carelessly spoken without taking the time to assess if they would wound or scar. Or perhaps the issue is listening. Offense is often taken when our partner doesn't know what we just finished saying or has to continually ask us to repeat what we said because they were distracted with 3,000 thoughts spinning around in their heads.

If an adult thinks that many thoughts in a day, how many do you suppose a child with a developing mind, who is observing the world around them with awe and wonder, might have? I can't even venture a guess! Perhaps that is the reason they fail to follow through on so many of the tasks assigned to them. 

With all these thoughts rolling around in our heads, how is one to determine which ones are worthy of seeing the light of day? What thoughts are worth speaking? Ed Haines, in his message Sunday shared this acronym...

T TRUE.      Is what you are thinking true? Is it a perception that you carry from childhood that needs to be surrendered? Is it a falsehood that Satan is using to sway you into unhealthy thoughts and actions? Does it align with God's thoughts and the truth that we find in scripture? Do your thoughts stand in opposition to who God says you are? If it does, write it down on a piece of paper so that you can rip it up and toss it in the trash. 

H HELPFUL. Can your thoughts help someone learn what they need to know? Can they strengthen and unify? Can they assist others in rising to their full potential? And, above all, can you share them in a helpful, not a judgmental manner? Are you willing to walk alongside and be a helper rather than a hater? Remember, even Jesus didn't heal every single sick person. Be discerning about who it is that God is calling you to help. Sometimes He may have that person assigned to another, so don't rush in without consulting Him first.

I INSPIRING.    Are your thoughts going to have the power to help anyone have a richer life? Are they helping you to see that you are who God says you are? Are they empowering? Encouraging? Enlightening? If not, toss them out with the rubbish. Think thoughts that will inspire and connect your heart to the heart of others. You won't impress many people with your knowledge, but you can inspire them with the wisdom God provides.

N NECESSARY.  Many of our 3,000 thoughts each hour may well be true, helpful and even inspiring to some, but they may be completely unnecessary. Every truth is not meant to be spoken. A three year old doesn't know not to tell the 400 pound person at the buffet that they are fat and shouldn't eat a third helping. True? Probably. Necessary? Nope! Often times people know that they have issues they need to deal with. It is better to pray for them to seek the Lord than to take His place and do the "helping" yourself. 

K KIND. We have all expressed ourselves in ways that have landed wrong. We know it, but it is too late to retract it. What would this world be like if we stopped to consider how our words might be received before speaking them? What if our primary objective was to be kind and consider the feelings of others before we speak a single word? That sounds like heaven! There would be less wounds to heal, less apologies to make and stronger, healthier relationships transforming our homes and our culture.

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

...make the world a better place.

Beauty for the Journey

Giving and receiving grace is a beautiful thing. It strengthens marriages, builds relationships and makes the world a better place. However, it is an expensive commodity and often very rare. The cost is a forfeiture of our pride and a willingness to love a little bit deeper. Sometimes we feel like we don't have the resources to afford this extravagant grace, but there is a link where discounts can be found to make it affordable. 

Here is the link:  Thankfulness. You see, with every offering of gratitude, with every utterance of praise, with every expression of thanksgiving, we find that we receive tokens that are good for offering and receiving grace. I can't explain how this works, but I know that it does. You see, when we are truly thankful for all we have, for all who have loved us and have helped to grow us and even those who challenge us regularly, we find that we begin to let go of the pride that made grace seem so expensive. 

Here is my analogy. I don't like to spend money. I like to save it and enjoy the security of a savings account. I also don't like to have sore feet or back aches, but when I found a shoe that would take care of my feet and my back, it seemed like way too much to spend. For years I continued to suffer because I didn't want to take money from the bank to make the purchase that seemed like far too much to spend on shoes. It wasn't until I had to see a specialist and spend a boatload of money on inserts and therapy, that I decided to bite the bullet and buy good shoes. I had to give up what made me feel secure to acquire what made me feel my best. 

Perhaps you don't want to extend grace because your pride account is important to you. It makes you feel secure. Those deposits were hard earned. They came from a betrayal, a disappointment, a loss, an injustice, a fear of showing your needs or insecurities, a lot of personal investment. You may be guarding your pride bank like it is Fort Knox, but you will just have to trust me when I say that taking some pride out of your account and replacing it with gratitude will take away the pain that is just short of crippling. It will leave you prepared to extend the grace that will lighten your load and make your journey more beautiful.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;

 for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:!6-!8

Do You See This Woman?