Circles

When I teach I like sitting in a circle. Nobody is in front or in back, but we are all able to see each other and interact better when we are connected in that manner. Circles are good. Interaction is good. Seeing and hearing others is good.

We all need circles. There has to be that time of day when we come together as a family and make eye contact and listen to each other’s story. It is a great time to observe body language and look deep into hearts. Maybe that is the dinner table. Maybe that is when you say goodnight. Days are full and calendars are packed, but it has to happen if you want to make the most of family life.

Your children need you to help them live in circles. They need to learn to look into the eyes and hearts of other children and learn to be compassionate. They need you to help them understand that the child at school who is unkind or unclean or unprepared is living in a different world with parents who are unable to meet the needs of that child well. They need you to help them pray for those children with genuine concern, rather than a critical spirit.

You, as a parent shaping young lives, need a circle. Not just friends that are fun to hang out with, but friends who will direct you when you stumble off the right path. Friends who can come to you when life is hard and know they won’t be judged. You need a circle of friends who will help you see yourself as you truly are; no flattery; no critical spirit; simply truth.

Shaping a child’s heart is the most important thing that you will ever do. When you think about it, it is pretty arrogant to think you are fine to do that on your own without surrounding yourself with a circle of Godly friends who can serve as mentor, coach and confidant. Take a look at those who you feel you can trust and ask them if they will be in your circle. Find someone struggling and ask them to be in your circle. Give and take and learn and grow as you discover the power of the circle.

Wait!

Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return.

Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring.

They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen.

You, too, must be patient.

 Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near.

 James 5:7-8

James writes this message to the Jesus followers who are being persecuted in unmerciful ways. They want Jesus to return and rescue them NOW. Many still probably see a valiant warrior returning to conquer Rome and bring justice, regardless of the fact that Jesus told them many times, that His Kingdom is not of this world, but in their hearts. Perhaps they wanted vengeance. They wanted payback for the pain and suffering perpetrated on the Jews. They DID NOT want to be patient.

If we bring that into our homes, perhaps you can relate to that. You have felt trapped in a marriage, waiting for God to “fix” what is wrong. You are sick of waiting for him or her to see you, to notice you, to care about how you feel or what you think. Your heart longs for those types of relationships you feel other couples have. You see older couples holding hands and smiling and long for that… worrying that your story won’t end so sweetly. You feel persecuted and down-trodden and like this isn’t the gig you signed up for. This is NOT the person you thought you married. Maybe you have thought of divorce or if divorce isn’t in your vocabulary, you simply feel miserably stuck. Relationships end daily because we are unwilling to wait and see that God will make a way through the struggles… if we will simply be patient.

James tells the believers that are facing more misery than we are likely to ever endure, to “take courage for the LORD is near.” There will be things they cannot control, just like the farmer. The farmer learns when to plant and the best process for growing a healthy crop and will do all they know to do in order to bring in a great harvest. It is WORK. The same is true in your marriage. It is work. You must learn and grow and give 100% in order to grow a healthy marriage. But, just as the farmer cannot control the clouds or the rain or the heat or frost, you cannot control your spouse and the amount of work they are willing to put into growing your marriage. So, let that notion go, right now! If you are praying for your marriage, great! Do just that, but don’t try to answer your prayer by changing your husband or wife. That is what God is doing in response to your prayer. Wait on Him to do what you have asked rather than crying that it just isn’t working. There is a distinct possibility that He is trying to change your heart and attitudes, as well as your husband’s or wife's.

So keep praying for your home and for your marriage, knowing that God hears your prayers. Praying for your marriage to be a reflection of God’s love is so much more pleasant that complaining about your spouse. Grumbling only brings pain. But, patience… waiting on the Lord, has a way of growing us into that old smiling couple walking hand in hand. They know where they have come from and Who it was that got them through it.

Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged.

For look—the Judge is standing at the door!

For examples of patience in suffering, dear brothers and sisters,

look at the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.

We give great honor to those who endure under suffering.

For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance.

You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end,

for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.

James 5:9-11

Time For Growth

Once upon a time there was a Master Gardener. People would come from all around to admire his gardens and get tips on how to cultivate their own flower beds and vegetable patches. He was quick to tell them that gardening wasn’t for the haphazard or faint of heart, but that it would take knowledge and patience and determination. There would have to be a commitment of time and a great deal of work in order to grow prize winning roses or hardy mums. Vegetables that others would envy, would require dedication.

The Gardener loved to take them to his shed and show the visitors the tools that were needed to get the soil ready for planting, the fertilizer that would bring the most beautiful foliage and the best compounds to ward off pest that would threaten healthy growth. He would explain the investment of time that must occur in order for any of these tools to be beneficial. Simply having a lovely shed full of spades and pruning shears, plant food and pestisides would not create success. There must be a commitment to using these tools faithfully and properly.

Then the Gardener would take them to into the Garden and allow them to feast their eyes on the fruits of his labors. They would admire the rich, dark soil, the straight rows and the healthy foliage of the plants. The array of colors was so brilliant that it stirred the souls of those who observed in silent awe.

Often the Gardener would listen to the conversations as the visitors walked around his yard. Some would share a determined spirit to learn all they could in order to enjoy this beauty at home. Others would begin making a list of all the supplies they would need and the websites they would visit and the books they would read to develop their skills. Some would argue that it couldn’t be done in their soil, while their partner would try to convince them that they could make the soul rich with proper care. But, by far, the comment he enjoyed the most was when they would consider the amount of time it would take to create such a magnificent masterpiece.

The Master Gardner, with a nod of his head, would always respond with affirmation. “Yes, time is the most critical investment in growing things. Growing tomatoes, dahlias, pumpkins and roses requires knowledge and tools, but most of all, success comes when you take the time to cultivate, to nurture, to plant good seeds, to pull the weeds that threaten their life. Tossing seeds in the ground and expecting a good harvest is like sending your child to school and expecting them to come home as responsible adults at the end of the day. Unless you are willing to spend the time learning, nurturing, and paying careful attention; unless you cultivate an environment that is conducive to growth; unless you take the time to find the weeds and remove them, you will be dismayed with the outcome.” And with a sparkle in his eye and a wave of his hand he would bid them good day with a final word of advice. “Take the time to do what matters most. Growing a lovely garden is good, but growing lovely children is critical to our species.”

The old Gardner speaks truth. Parenting is a 24/7 job. It isn’t convenient. It can be messy and it takes time. Lots and lots of time. But nothing you can do with your time is more precious. 

Onions and Obedience

I bought a couple of sweet onions last week. I chose carefully. Made sure that they were firm and had no soft spots. They looked healthy. They would make the best salsa and slice up nicely on a grilled burger. But, when I cut into the first one I was really surprised. A good ¼” of layers were brown and mushy. The heart was good and the outside was good, but I had to throw away a good bit of the inside. Such a disappointment!

I got to thinking, as I was dissecting the disappointing onion, how much that vegetable was like myself and other God followers. At the core of our being, we are good. We have been made righteous by the grace of God through Jesus. We want to be an obedient lamb following the Good Shepherd. And that is also what the world may see as they examine us and see what is on the outside. Our neighbors see us going to church every Sunday… almost. We are engaged in a Bible reading plan on our smart phones. We are kind…mostly. We put money in the offering plate. We don’t have any serious vices.

Then there is that layer that we think we have hidden from the world. That layer of rot that we just can’t seem to get rid of. Maybe it is an unforgiving spirit…judgmental attitude… greed… jealousy… laziness… insincerity… that lie that is buried in those layers, safe from the eyes of the world. Whatever it is, it will be revealed. There is no possible way to keep it hidden. The rot tends to spread and before long, the entire onion is bad and there is no hiding a rotten onion! We may hide it from others for quite a while, but God is all seeing and He knows those layers in your heart and mind that are rotten and life-threatening to you.

James, the brother of Jesus, tells us that God is a jealous God and wants our total surrender and submission. He wants the whole onion, so to speak. God is not that green-eyed monster that we think of when we think of jealousy. He is the One who knows our story even before it is played out. He is the one that holds our purpose in His hand, like a blueprint telling the way we should go. He is the one who made us with that purpose in mind. He is All Knowing, therefore, He has the most righteous reason for desiring our surrender. He alone can direct our steps in the proper manner. He alone can give us direction and the wisdom we need to fulfill the plan He has for us. That seemingly small thing hiding inside of us will keep us from living up to the potential He planted within us.

Can you identify the rotten layer that is keep you at risk of the unfortunate outcome of less than complete surrender? Is there bitterness inside? Is there anger and impatience? How about feelings of insecurity and anxiety? Is a lack of self-control eating at you? Ask God to reveal your rotten layers and He will do it! He is the Healer and desires your heart and mind to be healed of anything that is getting in the way of your success as a follower, as a spouse, a student, a parent, an employee or employer. He can restore you to what He made you to be and guide you in fulfilling the plan He made for you even before you were born.

Maybe it’s time to take Him at His word and be serious about being faithful to God and Him alone. Maybe it is time for you to surrender all your layers to Him and allow His healing to take place so you can follow without looking back, submitting wholly to His will.

So obey God.

Stand up to the devil. He will run away from you.

⁸ Come near to God, and he will come near to you.

Wash your hands, you sinners.

Make your hearts pure, you who can’t make up your minds.

Be full of sorrow. Cry and weep.

Change your laughter to mourning. Change your joy to sadness.

Be humble in front of the Lord. And he will lift you up.

James 4:7-10 (NIRV)